Wealden Times | WT199 | September 2018 | Education supplement inside

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The SecOND stage
This starts at either eleven or
thirteen, depending what kind of
school system your child is in, and
is a massive step up and out into the
wider world. But, as always, there are
critical practical things to get right.
Make sure your child has the right
uniform and kit (embarrassment
is a huge part of being a pre-teen)
and that they know how to navigate
any new school journey they need
to take. Talk through lots of ‘what
ifs’ with them. What will they do
if they lose their bus pass, feel ill in
school, or forget their games kit?
If possible, foster links with other
students starting at the same school,
so your child has some social contacts
- and know who to contact at school
if your child runs into difficulties.
Outside school hours, make sure
your child has what they need to be
a healthy young person whose body
and brain are in good condition.
This includes good food, enough
sleep, plenty of fresh air and exercise,
and regulated screen time.
Your family rules may well turn
out to be different from those of
other households, but be prepared
for the relentless peer pressure
of these school years and stick
to what you believe is right.
As they embark on secondary
school life, be sure to keep chatting
with them about things like taking
responsibility for themselves, about
not bullying or allowing themselves
to be bullied, about following rules
(or not), and about the pressures
on teens to be cool and popular.
Encourage your child to solve their
own problems, but also let them
know you are completely behind
them and will help them deal with
any real difficulty they run into.
And as the first crucial exam years
roll around, work hard to encourage
your child to feel positive and
determined to do their best, while
also keeping any family anxiety
and tension to a minimum.
You will need to walk a tight
balance between motivating your
child and keeping them calm, but
it’s vital young people know that
exams are arbitrary things invented
by grown-ups, that there are always
second chances, and that life is
much bigger than a fluffed GCSE.
This isn’t being lax and laissez
faire – a wound-up and overwrought
exam candidate will never be able
to perform well on the day.
put the emphasis on learning,
rather than on doing well in
tests and grades
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The FINal years
Your child has made it through GCSE
and is embarking on sixth form or college.
They are not, in fact, your child any
more at all. They feel quite grown up
and may well believe they have all the
answers. But you know they don’t.
Help your child prepare for a different
kind of studying and learning by talking
about time management and ways of
working that involve using many different
resources. Encourage them to see their
new tutors and teachers as people who
are willing and ready to help them. And
encourage them to get going as they mean
to go on – these years are short and vital.
Unfortunately they are also often the
years of maximum partying and teenage
disaffection. Talk to your child about the
derailing perils of drink and drugs and
unprotected sex, and about the more
everyday obstacles of burning the candle
at both ends and trying to focus on work
when your phone is constantly bleeping.
At the same time, encourage them
to go all out to work and play
productively. Volunteering, a
part-time job, travelling and
exploring new hobbies
and interests can all be
part of a rich mix in
these few brief years
which offer a vital
bridge between
childhood and
a successful
adult.
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Have
their backs
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