The Good Life – November-December 2018

NOVEMBER-DECEMBER 2018 

LOCAL HERO: 

CHARISM 

A COMMUNITY ANCHOR 

FOR KIDS & FAMILIES 

FATHERS 

THANKFUL FOR 

EVERY PHASE 

HAVING A BEER WITH 

JOEL HEITKAMP 

ASK 30 WOMEN 

WHAT IS THE MOST 

DISAPPOINTING GIFT 

YOU’VE EVER RECEIVED? 

PAUL LANEY 

SERVICE BEFORE SELF 

SHERIFF LANEY PREPARES FOR LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT 

FREE TO A GOOD HOME

FATHERS | MR. FULL-TIME DAD 

WRITTEN BY: BEN HANSON 

N 

obody told me parenthood is a path toward 

enlightenment. They told me it’s expensive, 

tiring and thankless. There’s a bit of truth to 

both takes, but lately I’ve found myself inordinately 

delighted by the unpredictable antics of my three-yearold 

son, Macklin. Tomfoolery that would otherwise 

inspire madness has become the highlight of my days. 

I’m completely content with evenings spent lying 

facedown on a living room floor that hasn’t seen a 

vacuum in weeks, getting jumped on by a 40-pound 

toddler. It may not be your definition of enlightenment, 

but it’s as close as I’ve so far come to my own. 

As we approach the holiday season, starting with 

Thanksgiving, I can’t help but reflect on ‘The Good 

Life’ I’m living. Each day of parenthood brings new 

revelations, but while playing the part of a doughy-soft 

crash pad for Macklin — future WWE star — a deep 

realization burst into my awareness. Or maybe it was a 

budding frontal lobe migraine caused by the repeated 

blows. Either way, the thought holds true: every phase 

of Mack’s young life somehow becomes my favorite. 

Again, it may just be a sign of cumulative brain damage 

and memory loss, but every shift in personality, every 

major or minor milestone achieved, every new 

word, step or stumble beguiles me. Is it possible 

to fall in love with potty training? To find beauty in 

bloodied knees? To embrace fits of tantramonious 

rage? Why yes, it is. It is the zen of parenting — loving 

your offspring so much, that (most) every moment 

blossoms into a cherished memory. A few examples... 

THE FIRST GIGGLE 

Looking down at a newborn in your arms is tough to 

beat. It’s a moment of purity, like looking out the front 

window to see winter’s first blanket of unblemished 

white snow greet the morning sun (unless you hate 

winter, of course). But that first giggle… ah, it’s life 

changing. A smile may be the first indication that your 

child recognizes you, but a giggle is the first time he 

really gets you. I’ve shared in thousands of giggles by 

this point, but each one is my favorite. 

CURIOUS ABOUT EVERYTHING 

Toddlers are as enlightened as any being out there. 

Why? Because they live completely in the moment. 

Everything is new and mysterious, and everything is 

capable of inspiring awe at a moment’s notice. If 

you go along for the 

journey with 

them, you get the chance to 

catch a whiff or two 

of second- h a n d 

awe. Every 

walk 

2 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com

to the park is an adventure, an 

opportunity for him to discover 

something new… and, through his 

questioning everything around 

him, for me to rediscover that 

which once surely delighted 

me, too. Perhaps it’s an ego trip, but 

I love delivering answers to his many 

questions. 

EVEN POTTY TRAINING 

Yes, I even find ways to love this ongoing 

experience of potty training. It’s perhaps the 

longest phase yet, but oh so worthy of cherishing. 

Watching Macklin learn to take himself to the 

bathroom, even interrupting bathtime to do so, 

I’m witnessing him take a monumental step 

towards independence. Sure he misses a lot, but 

the pride on his face after a job sort of well done 

makes the lingering smell of stale urine almost 

bearable. Honestly, we’d all be a lot happier if we 

could manage to be as pleased with ourselves as 

Macklin is after pulling up a dry pair of undies. 

With each new phase, the challenges grow and 

intensify just as Mack does, but so do the rewards. 

As does my optimism. When Mack was an infant, 

I didn’t want anything to ever change. He was 

perfect. But then, he rolled over, looked up and 

smiled. Suddenly, I was in love with a whole new 

version of him and everything was newly perfect. 

It happens again and again and I’m thankful to be 

able to trust each new challenge will also present 

new gifts. It may not be true enlightenment, but 

I’m thankful for a son that makes me content in 

the moment, yet eager for the future. What a good 

life indeed. • 

urbantoadmedia.com / THE GOOD LIFE / 3

CONTENTS VOLUME 

NOVEMBER-DECEMBER 2018 

6 • ISSUE 3 

02 FATHERS / MR. FULL-TIME DAD 

THANKFUL FOR EVERY PHASE 

06 AWARD WINNING CUSTOM PAINTER 

MIKE WANNER 

12 HAVING A BEER WITH 

JOEL HEITKAMP 

16 

ASK 30 WOMEN 

WHAT IS THE MOST DISAPPOINTING 

GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? 

EIGHTEEN 

ON THE COVER 

PAUL LANEY 


SHERIFF LANEY PREPARES 

FOR LIFE AFTER 

RETIREMENT 

27 

MANPOWER 

30 

LOCAL HERO 

CHARISM 

A COMMUNITY ANCHOR FOR 

KIDS AND FAMILIES 


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WRITTEN BY: KATIE JENISON • PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA 

Classic cars and hot rods 

aren’t new to the Fargo- 

Moorhead area thanks to 

clubs such as the Toppers 

Car Club, which established the first 

annual Toppers Car Show back in 

1953. The community has come 

a long way since then and custom 

cars, hot rods, and bikes are getting 

more love than ever before. Whether 

taking in the sights beautifully 

restored classic cars and hot rods 

line up from Sheyenne Street to 

Main Avenue or admiring them up 

6 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com 

close at Downtown Fargo’s Coffee 

& Cars, there’s no doubt classic car 

owners and motorcyclists are feeling 

the love. 

After putting all the work into 

restoring a car or bike, there’s only 

one thing left to do; breathe new life 

into it with an eye-catching custom 

paint job. Collectors and enthusiasts 

are sure to want the best of the best 

and that means finding someone 

that not only has the experience, but 

also the passion for creating one of 

a kind works of art. Mike Wanner 

of Fargo-Moorhead Custom and 

Collision fits that profile to a T and 

it's clear auto enthusiasts agree! In 

fact, there is a solid chance at least 

one of the classic cars, motorcycles, 

or hot rods you’ve admired was one 

of his custom creations. 

Wanner has been recognized for his 

talents across both North Dakota 

and Minnesota. His award-winning 

work has been featured in several 

well-known magazines including

American Iron Magazine. Taking 

center stage is the recognition for 

his work on motorcycles. He’s won 

awards for the best paint job at shows 

in Bismarck, Fargo, Jamestown, and 

Fergus Falls. His designs have even 

beat out hundreds of other entries at 

the biggest bike show in the Midwest, 

The Donnie Smith Bike & Car Show, 

held in Saint Paul every year. His 

paintwork has helped to edge out top 

competitors to win 6 first place best 

in class awards! 

Growing up, Wanner never dreamed 

his work would win awards, but 

his upbringing and love for what he 

does played a large part in where he 

is today. As the son of a hot rodder 

and an auto body expert, Wanner 

was destined to take a path involving 

cars and motorcycles. From the ripe 

age of 8 years old, Wanner could be 

found in the driver’s seat of old cars 

his dad was working on in the shop. 

He has fond memories of pretending 

to drive old Mustangs and the elusive 

Plymouth Super Bird. 

Eventually, Wanner’s dad put him 

to work and it wasn’t long before he 

was taking on projects of his own. 

The first was prepping and painting a 

As the son of a hot rodder and 

an auto body expert, 

Wanner was destined to take a 

path involving cars and motorcycles. 


1976 H-D hardtail chopper at 16. His 

reward for his hard work was a solo 

ride on the very bike he painted. From 

that moment on, Wanner was hooked. 

Every project since the first has 

brought excitement, but no two client 

experiences are the same. Some clients 

get in touch and have a vague idea of 

what sort of paint job they want, while 

others know right down to the nittygritty 

detail. While he welcomes the 

challenge of both, there’s something 

special about the creative process 

and the freedom to create something 

totally new and just outside the lines of 

what’s become commonplace. 

One thing is certain, Wanner has a 

passion for getting it right the first 

time and it definitely shows. From the 

start of each project, clients can expect 

an open line of communication when 

it comes to timelines and budgets. 

Clients are encouraged to provide 

their feedback throughout the design 

process thanks to the pictures he 

sends to ensure everyone is on the 

same page. 


The encouragement he received from such a young age 

and the inspiration he draws from other talented painters 

have had a massive impact on Wanner and what he does 

today. While he can’t imagine doing anything else with his 

life at this point, there was a time when he considered 

a career path in coaching and teaching. The desire to 

connect with young people carries over even today with 

his advice to those looking to pursue their dreams; don’t be 

afraid to go for it. Whether it’s picking up a basic airbrush 

kit and following tutorials on YouTube or taking classes 

from experts, don’t let fear and uncertainty hold you back. 

It’s safe to say Wanner found his calling in life, from painting 

ghoulish flames on the gas tank of a motorcycle to adding 

a little glitz to a newly restored classic. No matter the job, 

every opportunity to learn something new and spend his 

time doing what he loves is met with enthusiasm. That’s 

the mark of the good life, after all. • 



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HAVING A BEER WITH | JOEL HEITKAMP 


WRITTEN BY: MEGHAN FEIR • PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA 

Joel Heitkamp is no stranger to opposition and is not easily intimidated by harsh 

words and middle fingers. From his time working as a utilities manager to being 

a referee, a North Dakota senator to a radio talk show host, Heitkamp has had 

to grow a thick skin to ward off the slings of opposing viewpoints and the oft 

accompanied anger. For Heitkamp, it just seems to be water off a golden 

retriever’s back. 

In his current role as the operations manager for Midwest Communications, 

Heitkamp manages the on-air side of six radio stations, including KFGO, 

Y94 and 740 The Fan and has collectively been in the radio industry 14 

years. 

On a richly warm autumn day at Brewhalla (Drekker Brewing Company’s 

newest location), I had the opportunity to pose questions no other 

journalist or radio caller would bother asking the ex-senator and radio 

professional. The only question that stumped him was one pertaining 

to kombucha, leading to a discussion about headcheese. 

“Have you ever eaten 

cow tongue? You 

come out to my fish 

house and it’ll be an 

experience. You won’t 

stay long unless you 

wear a gas mask, but 

you can come on in.” 

– Joel Heitkamp 


HAVING A BEER WITH | JOEL HEITKAMP 

Good Life: Who was your childhood 

celebrity crush? 

Joel Heitkamp: Celebrity crush…? 

You’re tough. 

GL: I know. 

JH: Well, it’s not going to shock you, 

but Marsha Brady. I was that age. It 

was Marsha, Marsha, Marsha. 

GL: If you had ties to any culture that 

you’re not a part of already, which 

would you choose? 

JH: Irish. My daughters are Irish, and 

you can see it in them. It seems to me 

that the Irish have the most fun. Of 

course, there’s a dark history there, 

and I get that. I just wish I was Irish 

every St. Paddy’s Day. We’re going to 

Ireland in March of next year on St. 

Paddy’s Day. 

GL: It’s not that big of a deal over 

there, right? Just to Americans? 

JH: It’s not. We’re going to try to 

change that. 

GL: Will you be voting for your sister 

in the upcoming election? 

JH: Still debating. She hasn’t earned 

my vote yet, but we’ll see. I’m 

undecided. 

14 / THE GOOD LIFE / urbantoadmedia.com 

GL: Are your wife and you extremely 

similar, more like opposites, or what? 

JH: You know, at the beginning I 

thought we were more opposites, but 

the longer we’re together, the more 

I think we’re similar. We both like 

sports and are very career-minded. 

We both get a chance to work with a 

lot of professionals. We both manage. 

We like to travel. I’d say we’re really 

similar, actually. And she’s a huge 

Vikings fan because that would be a 

deal breaker. She doesn’t like the fact 

that I’m a Yankee’s fan, but she had to 

get over that. 

GL: So she’s more of a Twins’ fan? 

JH: Oh, a huge Twins’ fan. But we 

share a passionate hatred for the 

Green Bay Packers. That’s a tie that 

binds us eternally. 

GL: What do you think about 

kombucha, and have you ever held a 

SCOBY in your hand? 

JH: Uh. No. Are you going to tell me 

what that is? A stogie? I’ve smoked 

many a cigar. Is that what we’re 

talking about? 

GL: SCOBY stands for symbiotic 

culture of bacteria and yeast. The 

SCOBY looks like this gross, round 

piece of old deli ham, but you use it to 

make kombucha, which is essentially 

fermented tea. 

JH: Have you ever tried headcheese? 

GL: No, but I featured it in an article. 

JH: Have you ever tried blood 

sausage? 

GL: That was also featured in the 

same article, but I’ve never tried it. 

JH: I’ve eaten those. I eat liver 

sausage. Have you ever eaten cow 

tongue? You come out to my fish 

house and it’ll be an experience. You 

won’t stay long unless you wear a gas 

mask, but you can come on in. 

GL: When did your love of headcheese 

come about? 

JH: We didn’t have a lot of money 

growing up, so mom and dad 

didn’t throw away anything. We 

learned to eat liver. We learned to 

eat cow tongue. Dad wasn’t that 

big on headcheese. It’s just a joke I 

make on air, but there was always 

Braunschweiger in the fridge—what 

you would call liver pâté. I act like I 

eat it every day, but I haven’t eaten it 

in 15 years.

GL: If you were a dog, what breed 

would you be? 

JH: I’d be a golden retriever. 

GL: Same. 

JH: Yeah, you have to be a redhead. 

Gotta be a decent size where you 

can put up a fight. You don’t have 

to win it, but you’ve gotta be able to 

punch. Goldens are loyal. Goldens 

are fun to be around, and they like 

kids, plus they hunt the way I do. 

They hunt hard until about noon, 

and then they look for a beer. 

GL: I just imagined a golden 

retriever extending its paw to open 

the fridge and pull out a Budweiser. 

GL: Which era in history would you 

choose to live during for an entire 

year? 

JH: World War II because it was 

truly the best generation. We make 

them out to be better than they 

were, don’t get me wrong. Those 

boys didn’t behave that much better 

than any of us, but their cause was 

so good. It collectively bound them 

together. My dad fought for WWII. 

When he came home, if you hadn’t 

been in the military you weren’t 

the norm. I was always jealous of 

that, that everybody served and 

everybody had that to hang their hat 

on. I would have loved to say I was 

a part of that. 

GL: What does living “the good life” 

mean to you? 

JH: Freedom. Everybody’s freedom 

is different. You do what you want 

to do when you want to do it. That’s 

the good life. It doesn’t mean having 

money. That’s not what it’s about at 

all. Tonight it might mean hopping 

on your bicycle, or, for me, hopping 

on my Harley and going for a ride. 

It’s about the freedom and the 

mindset to do whatever you want 

to do. If I want to hang around 

my grandkids and go to a Vikings 

game I can because I’m free. That’s 

freedom to me. • 


MOST DISAPPOINTING GIFT 

WHAT IS THE MOST DISAPPOINTING GIFT YOU'VE EVER RECEIVED? 

We’ve all seen it, the fake smile, the awkward grin of what appears to be enthusiasm, the unconvincing ‘Thank You’. You 

spent hours (or maybe minutes) looking for the perfect gift – only to find it hidden in the back of the closet. Don’t be that 

guy! Avoid buying the gift that calls the junk drawer home. 

The pressure is on! “What does she want? I wasn’t listening to her. 

Would she like this? Maybe just a gift card or jumper cables?” 

Relax gentlemen. We are here to help. The Good Life Men’s 

Magazine asked 30 random women, “What is the most 

disappointing gift you have received?” 

Save this valuable information and avoid these gifts. We 

did our part, now the rest is up to you. Good luck out there 

and happy shopping. • 

UHH... 

THANKS? 


1. My mom got a vacuum. I have 

that vacuum now. 

2. Thrift store socks and slippers. 

3. A box of cleaning supplies. 

4. Gift cards. No thought or 

emotion put into it. 

5. An exercise DVD and a digital 

scale that measures BMI. 

6. I got a Garmin GPS from a 

boyfriend. He told me it was so I 

didn’t yell at him when he got lost in 

traffic. 

7. Socks with Christmas trees - in 

kids size. 

8. A pair of welding gloves, so I 

wouldn’t burn my dainty, delicate 

hands loading wood in the fireplace. 

9. Candles. One is nice, but not five. 

10. My husband gave me a Hershey 

Kiss on a stick that resembled a 

rose. 

11. AN NFL BOBBLEHEAD. 

12. My ex boyfriend took me to the 

store, had me pick out a Christmas 

present and purchase it. He then 

went and purchased himself a 

“present” of equal value and called 

it even. 

13. A CHAINSAW. 

14. A donation to an art benefit on 

my behalf. 

15. 3 seasons of The Office on DVD. 

I could tell they were pre-owned, 

but I was still very happy with the 

gift. My happiness was short-lived 

when he told me that he borrowed 

them from a friend, and would 

appreciate my watching them as 

soon as possible so that they could 

be returned. 

16. A framed photo of the guy I was 

dating. To be clear – like a massive 

senior photo. Uhh…thanks. 

17. A re-gifted salad spinner. They 

thought I would appreciate it 

because I was eating healthy. 

18. A pink camouflage jacket. If 

a woman wants to wear camo, it 

doesn’t have to be pink. And if a 

woman says she likes pink camo, 

she’s lying and doesn’t want to hurt 

your feelings. 

19. SMOKE DETECTORS. 

20. My mother-in-law bought me a 

bed in a bag at a Family Dollar and 

the dye in the sheets stained my 

mattress. 

21. The hubs once gifted me a 

black FUR dress. Yes, fur – like a 

Muppet. And it didn’t fit. Thank 

goodness. And the store from 

which he purchased it had a no 

return policy. 

22. An Olive Garden gift card from 

my husband. Does anybody like 

Olive Garden? 

23. I got a 20 lb. giant blue 

vase/bowl from my brother. My 

sisters and I have been regifting 

it for years. 

24. My ex-husband booked us 

a trip to Daytona Beach to see 

friends. Only they were his friends 

and it was at the Daytona 500 and 

I hate Nascar. 

25. A star map from our first date. 

26. My mother-in-law decided we 

are not giving each other presents 

this year. We are buying a fruit 

tree for poor people in some other 

country. 

27. NOT GETTING A GIFT. 

28. Socks. Not decorative ones. 

Just plain old white six-pack of 

socks. 

29. A LIFE JACKET. 

30. An adult size onesie.

ON THE COVER | SHERIFF PAUL LANEY 


SHERIFF LANEY PREPARES FOR LIFE AFTER RETIREMENT 

WRITTEN BY: ALEXANDRA FLOERSCH • PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA 

You see it too often in the world 

of sports – star players waiting to 

throw in the towel until they’re past 

their prime. But Cass County Sheriff 

Paul Laney refuses to become the 

quarterback that plays a couple 

seasons too long at the expense of 

his team. 

When he announced he wouldn’t 

be running for a fourth term back 

in December 2017, the 52-year-old 

North Dakota native was inevitably 

bombarded with the same question 

again and again, “Why are you 

leaving now?” 

“As leaders – and especially as 

elected leaders – as important as it is 

to know when you're ready to do this 

(job), it's as important to know when 

it's time to go," he said. "I'll miss 

knowing that every single day I woke 

up and put on this uniform, I made a 

difference. But I feel I can leave with 

a sense of mission accomplished, 

and then my wife and I can go on to 

the next adventure.” 

Come January 1, 2019, the 1984 

West Fargo High School grad (and 

proud Packer) will hang up his gun 

belt and pursue his next adventure. 

BOOTS ON THE GROUND 

Enlisting in the Marine Corps in 

1984, Laney immediately served 

four years active duty with MSSG- 

13 of the 13th Marine Expeditionary 

Unit after high school. 

"That was probably the best four 

years of my life in the sense that I 

was a young man getting paid to see 

the world,” he said. “I was learning 

leadership at some of the highest 

levels from some of the most amazing 

leaders I could’ve ever asked to learn 

from. It laid a foundation for me 

second to none.” 


“I'll miss knowing 

that every single day 

I woke up and 

put on this uniform, 

I made a difference.” 

– Paul Laney 



"I love people 

and I thought, 

there's no 

better job for 

me than to 

work directly 

for the people.” 


The “lead, follow, get-out-of-the-way” 

Marine philosophy was one he’d take with 

him. 

"My mom said, 'I sent away a boy and a 

young man came home.’ I felt that way, 

too,” he said. “I came home confident, 

believing I could attain whatever I 

wanted to if I worked hard enough.” 

Leaving the military wasn’t an easy 

choice to make. Laney thrived 

on the discipline, fitness and 

camaraderie that all came with 

being a Marine. In fact, he 

contemplated making a career 

of it, but in his heart, his other 

childhood dream was calling. 

"I tested with the (Los 

Angeles Police Department). I went 

through my interviews and was on 

their hiring list when I decided, ‘No, 

I want to do this same thing... but I 

want to do it for my community," he 

said. 

CLIMBING THE RANKS 

Returning to the Red River Valley 

in 1989, Laney was hired by the 

Fargo Police Department and 

quickly climbed the ranks from 

patrol officer to field training officer 

(FTO), gang/narcotics unit and 

tactical team member. Promoted 

to sergeant in 1997, he supervised 

the patrol shift, FTO program and 

eventually became a leader of the 

Red River Valley SWAT Team. In 

2002, he was named lieutenant and 

served as both district and SWAT 

commander. 

"I had reached a point in 2006 

where I had just finished my 

master’s degree (in management),” 

he recalled. “I was at the stage in 

my career where I loved where I 

was at and what I did but I wanted 

to spread my wings in my own 

agency.” 

When the Cass County sheriff 

position opened up, something 

clicked. 

"I love people and I thought, there's 

no better job for me than to work 

directly for the people," he said. 

"The fact that I had the ability to 

supervise, lead and command every 

aspect of law enforcement prepared 

me to take the helm of the largest 

sheriff's office in the state of North 

Dakota.” 

Elected to a four-year term, Laney 

was sworn in as Cass County sheriff 

on January 2, 2007, and easily won 

re-election for a second and third 

term in the years following. 

A LEGACY TO LIVE BY 

Looking back on 12 years as sheriff, 

a flood of memories rushed through 

Laney’s mind. 


His first glimmer of the spotlight 

came in October 2007, surrounding 

the Ozzy Osbourne concert. Guests 

were formally invited to what they 

thought was a pre-concert party, 

only to find Laney and his team 

were behind a sting operation with a 

guest list containing only those with 

active warrants out for their arrest. 

Announcing 50 arrests at a press 

conference the next day, the sheriff’s 

office quickly caught flack from 

Osbourne and his publicist. Rolling 

Stone, MTV, The Telegraph UK 

and other media covered the story, 

encouraging both fan and hate mail 

for the creative stunt. 

"I think it was the first opportunity 

the public really got to see me as a 

leader and say, ‘This guy is different. 

He's going to think outside the box. 

That's who our sheriff is.’” 

But that was just the beginning. 

In 2008, Laney handled the first 

train derailment near Page, N.D., 

and 2009 to 2011, Mother Nature 

struck with vengeance, flooding the 

Red River Valley. 

"That’s when I believe people really 

got to see my ability to command 

and how service to the community 

came before anything," he said. 

In 2011, Laney was named the 

E911 Institute’s “Government 

Leader of the Year.” Following that, 

awards continued to trickle in with 

the National Sheriff’s Association 

Ferris E. Lucas “National Sheriff 

of the Year” in 2012 and the Lone 

Eagle Award for “Outstanding and 

Dedicated Law Enforcement in the 

State of North Dakota” in 2015. 

Looking back, however, his grim 



"It was spooky out there because 

every day we wondered, is this the 

day we're going to take a bullet?” 


memories of the Dakota Access Pipeline (DAPL) protests in 

2016 and 2017 seemed to overshadow all of the accolades. 

Leading law enforcement efforts 15 hours a day, seven days 

a week, Laney and his team received death threats for their 

involvement. 

"That was a really scary time for our family. (Protesters) doxxed 

out a picture of my home address with a picture of a bullet. It 

went viral and on the dark web," he said. "It was spooky out 

there because every day we wondered, is this the day we're 

going to take a bullet?” 

But even death threats wouldn’t stop Laney from doing a job he 

was so passionate about. 

"In 30 years, I've seen the best of society and the worst of 

society. But I've always known that if I went about my duties 

with honor, integrity and pride, I could make a difference for 


good and that's what I strive to do 

every day," he said. 

As a bit of poetic justice, the 

motivation behind Laney taking the 

job in the first place is the same one 

he’ll miss the most when he leaves: 

the people. 

"I'll miss the banter and camaraderie 

– that total fulfillment knowing these 

people have your back and they know 

you've got theirs,” he said. “I'm not 

leaving because I don't like it, and I'm 

not leaving because I'm burned out. 

I'm leaving because I feel it's time 

– that I've done what I promised I 

would do for a community I love.” 

As Laney prepares to hand off the 

reigns to the next Cass County sheriff, 

he says the key is trusting in the men 

and women of the organization and 

what they bring to the table. His 

motto will remain with him until 

his last day as sheriff: “service and 

sacrifice before self.” 

When elected, “you asked the public 

to give you this trust, and now you 

need to give them back everything 

you got, even at your own expense,” 

he said. “As law enforcement officers, 

we belong to the community. Some 

days we have to be their guardians. 

Some days we have to be their 

warriors. Prepare yourself to be all 

of the above.” 

PEACE AHEAD 

As his career in law enforcement 

comes to an end, Laney is adamant 

about giving his family the attention 

they deserve, including his daughters 

Danielle, 21, and Kaitlyn (Katie), 19. 

"They're the ones that suffer through 

this career,” he said. “They're the 

ones that had to watch me run 

out the door for the next critical 

incident. During the pipeline protest, 

I missed Katie's entire senior year of 

volleyball.” 

Though it was a lot to ask of his 

daughters, they never complained. 

They knew the sacrifices that came 

with being a cop's kid. Laney’s wife, 

Patty, has also been extremely 

supportive of his every move. 

"She’s probably one of the biggest 

reasons I've had success in the 

sheriff's world,” he said. “She's been 

my rock, and I can't imagine having 

gone on this sheriff's adventure 

without her.” 

At the end of the year, Laney and his 

wife will head to northern Minnesota 

and their new home. 

“We knew years ago when we were 

done with the crazy, law enforcement 

life, we would settle down to a more 

peaceful life. A little less life and 

death and a lot more life," he said. 

“I found my peace. I'm a different 

person up there.” 

Offered a vice president role 

at TurnKey Corrections, a law 

enforcement technology company, 

Laney will start his new gig sometime 

in January. Laney’s familiarity with 

the language and network will come 

in handy, but this time, he’ll witness 

law enforcement from a different 

perspective. 

LANEY'S GOOD LIFE 

When time slows, Laney looks 

forward to fishing for walleye and 

PHOTO SUBMITTED BY: PAUL LANEY 

trout, snowmobiling and hiking – his 

goal being to conquer the 310-mile 

Superior Hiking Trail from Canada to 

Duluth by the time he turns 55. 

“I just love to get out in the outdoors 

and take in God's beauty,” he said. 

“(Patty and I) enjoy spending a lot of 

time together, but when you carry two 

phones and you're basically in criticalincident 

ready mode at all times, you 

never really decompress.” 

In fact, one of his former captains, 

Judy Tollefson, used to refer to him as 

“hair on fire guy.” 

"She said, 'Everywhere you go, you 

never slow down. You're always 

engaged in something,'" Laney said. 

"Hopefully, I'll learn some ways to 

be a little less high speed, a little less 

'hair on fire guy,' and a little more 

calm, cool, dad dude.” 

When asked to define the good life, 

Laney didn’t hesitate. 

"The good life to me has been for 30 

years I've woken up to a family who 

loved me. I got to go to a place that 

wasn't a job, it was my passion. And 

every day I got to make a difference 

in the community I loved. That is the 

good life," he said. "As I move on to 

the next adventure, I hope I can find 

that same fulfillment." • 





MANPOWER 

WRITTEN BY: JON HAUSER 

PHOTO BY: MELISSA DALE PHOTOGRAPHY 

I am an engineer; wired to observe the realities of this 

world. For 50 years I’ve witnessed this reality: men 

tend to trail behind women when it comes to spiritual 

intensity. I’ve seen many families where mom is active 

in her faith and local church but dad isn’t; very rare 

that dad is active and mom is not. Having worked with 

teenagers for years, it’s common for teens to step away 

from faith when dad isn’t actively engaged. 

As a pastor, I have a burning desire to help men grow 

spiritually. When a man grows spiritually there’s a 

significant positive ripple effect in the lives of his family, 

business, and neighborhood that lasts for generations. 

In the Bible, God is searching: I looked for someone 

among them who would build up the wall and stand 

before me in the gap on behalf of the land so I would 

not have to destroy it, but I found no one (Ezekiel 

22:30). 

God was looking for someone who would stay true 

to Him amidst all the temptations this world offers; 

someone who would fight for their spouse, children, 

church, and pastor; someone quick to forgive, seek 

forgiveness, and focus on unity; someone who was all 

out devoted and all in surrendered to God. And God 

found? No one. My prayer is that when God searches 

the Red River Valley, He finds 1,000s of men who fit 

this description! 

In Judges Chapters 13-16, Samson was a powerful 

man continually plagued with a dangerously weak 


LUST 

ENTITLEMENT 

PRIDE 

Just like Samson, you are wired for greatness 

but we must learn from his mistakes. As men, 

we sometimes make great commitments to 

inferior causes and it costs us dearly. 

will. Samson was a miracle baby; created to help the 

Israelites find freedom from the Philistines. Samson 

made three vows to demonstrate his commitment to 

God and God alone. He was to never drink alcohol, 

touch anything dead, or cut his hair. 

Just like Samson, you are wired for greatness but we 

must learn from his mistakes. As men, we sometimes 

make great commitments to inferior causes and it 

costs us dearly. We may spend more time researching 

what rifle or TV to buy than we spend reading the 

Bible, building spiritual strength. There are men who 

are aggressive in their work or hobbies but passive in 

leading their family spiritually; men who are passionate 

about their favorite sports team but have no zest for 

God. 

There are three attitudes, displayed by Samson, that 

make strong men weak. 

Lust is when a man sees something he desires, his 

emotions kick in and he must have it. And when a 

man obsesses about his desire, he forgets all logic 

and his values. He may lust after a woman, a career 

advancement, a boat, or a challenge to conquer. 

Samson went into Philistine territory and saw a 

gorgeous woman ( Judges 14:1-3). He had to have her 

even though he was not to intermarry with someone 

who did not worship God. “I want it” makes strong men 

weak. 

Samson tears a young lion apart with his bare hands. 

Later he passes the dead carcass and it contains a 

swarm of bees and honey. He violates his vow by eating 

the honey ( Judges 14:5-9). Entitlement says “I deserve 

it.” I killed the lion, I haven’t had honey for months, it 

looks so good…I deserve some. I’ve been working hard, 

putting in long hours…I deserve to buy that boat. She 

has been moody and distant lately…I deserve to explore 

a romantic relationship outside of my marriage. “I 

deserve it” makes strong men weak. 

Samson, despite his vow, throws a bachelor keg party 

( Judges 14:10). Pride says “I can handle it. Other men 

have struggled with this but not me.” This jacked guy, 


uilt like a brick wall, says “I’m 

strong, I can handle it” and his party 

becomes a huge mistake! 

This is what happens to strong, 

well-intentioned men, over and 

over again. God gives us great gifts, 

amazing opportunities, unlimited 

potential and we think: “Just one 

drink, one smoke, one pill; I deserve 

it, I can handle it. I want it.” And 

before long that substance owns us. 

“I deserve that motorcycle. It won’t 

distract me.” And before long we are 

drowning in debt, absent from our 

family and that toy owns us. “I’m 

just going to flirt. I can handle it. It’s 

not a big deal if she stays overnight. 

I deserve some sexual pleasure.” 

At the end of Samson’s life, his 

eyes are gouged out, his hair cut, 

bound with chains on public display 

in front of 3,000 enemies. He is 

the entertainment as they laugh at 

him. Lust, entitlement, and pride 

can take you somewhere you don’t 

EVER want to go; far deeper into 

sin and destruction than you could 

imagine. 

WITH GOD’S POWER, 

NO MATTER WHERE 

YOU ARE, YOU CAN 

BE CHANGED. 

With God’s power, no matter where 

you are, YOU can be changed. A 

real man says “God, I want you. 

Thank you for offering me a new 

start. I don’t deserve anything. All I 

have is a gift from you. You died for 

my salvation. I’m weak. I need your 

strength and guidance.” What do 

you need to ask God for today? Our 

enemy, satan, loves to make strong 

men weak; satan sucks. God loves 

to make weak men strong; God 

rocks! • 

Jon Hauser 

Jon is the founding and senior 

pastor at www.prairieheights.com 


LOCAL HERO | CHARISM 

LOCAL HERO: CHARISM 

A Community Anchor for Kids and Families 

WRITTEN BY: BRITTNEY GOODMAN 

PHOTOS BY: URBAN TOAD MEDIA 

CHARISM, pronounced “Care-ism,” is a nonprofit 

organization currently centered in the Jefferson 

Neighborhood of Fargo, grounded in a caring mission for 

at-risk children and their families. CHARISM’s acronym 

translates to “Community Homes and Resources in 

Service to Many,” and current Executive Director, John 

Fisher, described the idea behind the organization as 

coming from the definition of “CHARISM”: “gift of 

grace and strength.” To Fisher, serving with grace and 

strength is what drives CHARISM. 

CHARISM’s acronym translates to 

“Community Homes and Resources 

in Service to Many.” 

CHARISM is a neighborhood support center for 

underserved youth and their families, providing 

programs and services to improve their quality of life. 

Their programs foster neighborhood connections 

as well as providing a safe and welcoming place for 

students. 

Fisher, serving in the executive director’s role for the 

past three years, described CHARISM’s mission as 

“empowering people:” “Some kids do not feel like they 


are good enough. We want to show them the world – 

that there are possibilities. We want them to know that 

their story is not written and to not live as if it is. They 

have the opportunity and the drive. Go for it. They can 

change the story.” 

CHARISM’s mission and programs provide “a 

safe anchor point for people,” explained Fisher. He 

continued: “And when you are connected to an anchor 

you do not stay in just that one spot. You move… you 

might drift one way or the other for good or bad. But 

you are always tethered to something you can go back 

to. We will always be there and accepting them with 

strength and grace.” 

Established in 1994 in Fargo by five local churches 

collaborating with Community Homes, CHARISM is 

not a religious organization. Fisher explained that the 

churches and Community Homes all saw the need to 

do more than provide housing. One of their first steps 

was establishing a director for leadership and Julie 

Gunkelman was the original director, serving for 21 

years until her retirement in 2015. Fisher applauded 

Gunkelman for serving “vigorously and with great skill” 

during her tenure at CHARISM. 

Three of CHARISM’s main programs are the Check 

and Connect Youth Program, STEAM programming, 

and GAP. 

Check and Connect is, according to Fisher, a “brainchild 

of University of Minnesota Extension” and CHARISM 

currently has it implemented in Ed Clapp, Jefferson, 

Fargo South, and Carl Ben schools. It has two parts: 

(1) check on the students – their attendance, grades 



“Some kids do not feel like they are good 

enough. We want to show them the world – that 

there are possibilities. We want them to know 

that their story is not written and to not live as if 

it is. They have the opportunity and the drive. Go 

for it. They can change the story.” – John Fischer 

and behavior and (2) monitor the students. CHARISM adds students 

to their caseload with parents’ permission. CHARISM staff looks at 

removing barriers to the student’s success, asking questions such 

as “What is keeping the student from getting to school on time?” 

Fisher explained: “Many things can create a barrier and contribute 

to a student struggling.” James Nagbe, a Check and Connect Mentor 

and Development Director, according to Fisher, has been “pivotal” 

in getting Check and Connect off the ground and keeping it moving 

forward and has many students in his caseload. He involves the 

students, parents and teachers in the solution. 

CHARISM also administers an After School STEAM (Science 

Technology Engineering Arts and Math) Club serving Lewis and 

Clark, Ed Clapp, Jefferson Elementary Schools and Carl Ben Middle 

School. 


CHARISM’s Grocery Assistance Program (GAP) provides 

food for up to 150 families a week. On Tuesday and Thursday 

afternoons and Friday mornings, CHARISM passes along 

food from the Great Plains Food Bank to “people who need 

it the most.” Fisher continued: “The food pantries can only 

give people food on a regimented basis. That leaves gaps. We 

want to fill that gap. We have some people that come to us 

where we are their main food source.” 

In addition to the three signature programs, CHARISM also 

hosts other outreach events and runs a community garden. 

CHARISM serves clients from many ethnicities including 

Indian, Bhutanese, Nepalese, Vietnamese, and many West 

African countries. Fisher posed, “If you want to see the 

world, come to our Food Pantry or to one of our programs.” 

Fisher has goals including “a pipe dream” that CHARISM 

would be “doing our programming in every community 

school in Cass and Clay Counties that need our help.” He 

wants to grow the Check and Connect program at every 

school: “We have this misconception that schools are going 

to take care of everything. And they can’t. And they need help. 

They need the CHARISMs of the world to walk with them 

and help them.” 

Fisher wants CHARISM to be a household name in our 

community – a “known entity.” 

Fisher said, “CHARISM is a real team. The real heroes are 

on my team working with people every day. And our clientele 

is for the most part very appreciative and hard-working, 

looking out for their families.” 

“The real heroes are on my team 

working with people every day. ” 

– John Fischer 

Directing CHARISM is personal for Fisher, coming from a 

family who struggled financially: “I remembered when they 

came into our house and repossessed all of our furniture. I 

have been there and so many of us have, not knowing where 

the next meal is coming from. My mom could not afford 

childcare so I remember playing in the employee break room 

at the sewing shop where my mom was employed.” Fisher 

continued: “It is tremendously personal to me, this work we 

do.” Fisher remembers a turning point as a child when he 

was “kicked out” of his church’s youth group for heckling. 

The youth minister talked to him and said, “You are better 

than this.” Fisher described it as a “turning point” in his life. 

“The people we work with, many are trying to find a job and 

provide for their family. We help them with interview skills, 

applying for the jobs while keeping their children safe in 

a good environment,” Fisher asserted. CHARISM’s afterschool 

program provides quality care and a safe space from 

2 pm – 6 pm. They even take some children home afterward 

to give the parents the extra amount of time to work or find 

work. 



CHARISM’s Over the Edge 

Fundraiser 

Fisher explained, “We have people in our 

community who do not have an anchor – no 

family here. Most of the rest of us have extended 

family to go to in times of need. They don’t have 

that. They did nothing wrong; they are working 

their tails off and they need a little bit of help.” 

But help costs money. CHARISM has a 

sliding scale for payment for their after-school 

program: “It costs us $17 a day to do it and most 

participants pay from $1-2 a day.” 

Giving Hearts is also a big fundraiser for CHARISM. This 

year, they are also thankful that FM Raise Your Spirits 

selected CHARISM as its recipient for the proceeds from the 

FM Raise Your Spirits event. 

Fisher mentioned three specific organizations as “wonderful 

partners”: United Way of Cass and Clay County, Southeast 

That is where fundraising and donations come 

in. Because CHARISM’s fee for service is so low, 

CHARISM relies on private donations, grants 

and fundraising events. 

One recent event for CHARISM was the Over 

the Edge fundraiser, which they have facilitated 

in 2017 and 2018. People raised funds by 

rappelling over the Black Building in downtown 

Fargo. Fisher said, “It is just a blast. Participants 

had a great time.” 


Education Cooperative and the FM Area Foundation. 

Light the Way is another fundraiser – a gala-style 

event where they recognize community heroes, 

volunteers and the people they serve. 

Fisher described CHARISM’s Executive Board as 

“tremendously supportive,” including the officers 

– Board Chair, Terry Stroh; Kevin Zimmer; Eddie 

Scheely; and Dr. Forrest Sauer: “They put in a ton 

of time for us and are great advocates.” 

CHARISM currently has seven full-time staff, two 

full-time volunteers, and 15-25 part-time people. 

Residing in Moorhead, Fisher has been married to 

and is “totally in love with” his wife Abby of twelve 

years. They have “three great children,” Julia, Esther 

and John. Originally from Kentucky and Tennessee, 

Fisher is also a pastor and started the downtown 

Fargo church, Sojourn. 

When asked, “What does the good life mean 

to you?” Fisher responded: “The good life 

is my background, my faith and what I do 

with CHARISM. It is people that are either 

fulfilling or living the life that they feel 

best serves themselves and those around 

them, that they are intrinsically feeling 

value, success and love but they are also 

dispensing that love to others – showing 

others that they are valued and loved.” He 

continued: “I think about the most joy-filled 

people I know, and they do not have a lot of 

money, but they give a lot – they invest a lot 

in others.” •

The Good Life – November-December 2018

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