COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing bj numbers. It is national, political, military, and commercial. It is of the highest importance to the community ; because it pre-eminently teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers succeed according to their knowledge of the science of numbers. Witness the skilful management of majorities of the lower house. He who understands the true art of Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore nummis." Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection of that god of honest men, the light-heeled and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add to our store by subtracting from the stores of others, that we may add to our importance. Let us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion among our contemporaries, that we may see their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
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A<br />
148 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION^.<br />
sopher, and the quack an oracle ; in short, by this<br />
rule, " fools rush in where angels fear to tread."<br />
The rule of Assurance is founded upon the fact,<br />
that there are no bounds to human credulity ; well<br />
sustained assumption, with a very small amount of<br />
gumptions being alone requisite for miracles in<br />
commerce, trade, politics, or religion.<br />
EXAMPLES OF "ASSURANCE."<br />
1. Calling on a friend in cold weather, make<br />
bold to " roast the boiling piece," by placing your<br />
fundamental basis before his parlour fire; lean<br />
your back against his " marble," scrape your shoes<br />
on his fender, and puff your cigar to the detriment<br />
of his elaborate ornaments and gimcracks ; as to<br />
his wife and children being excluded from the fire,<br />
let that be "a part of your vQligion,^^ fieri facicts.<br />
2. Should you be invited to dinner, when you<br />
enter the house, walk at once into the dining-room,<br />
and make yourself at home by pulling off your<br />
boots, calling for a clean pair of shoes, a newspaper.
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