COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing bj numbers. It is national, political, military, and commercial. It is of the highest importance to the community ; because it pre-eminently teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers succeed according to their knowledge of the science of numbers. Witness the skilful management of majorities of the lower house. He who understands the true art of Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore nummis." Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection of that god of honest men, the light-heeled and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add to our store by subtracting from the stores of others, that we may add to our importance. Let us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion among our contemporaries, that we may see their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
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32 FIGURES FOR THE MILLION.<br />
determination of the blood to the head, and then<br />
radical rabidity breaks out into rebellion. Overfeeding<br />
requires bleeding. There is a tendency<br />
in every industrious nation to get on too fast.<br />
Taxation is the fly-wheel which softens and<br />
regulates the motion of the national machinery,<br />
the safety valve which prevents explosion, while<br />
that accumulation of taxation called the dead<br />
weight is a " dogger' to keep things down.<br />
Whenever there is a " rising," it is a sure sign<br />
that taxation is too light ; consequently taxation<br />
should be so accommodated to the habits, tastes,<br />
and feelings of the people, as to fit them at all<br />
points, like well-made harness.<br />
If they grow too<br />
enlightened we can double the window-tax; if<br />
they be disposed to kick, put on the breeching in<br />
the shape of an income-tax ; if they go too much<br />
by the head, we can raise the price of malt, and,<br />
by way of a martingale, put a duty on spirits<br />
if they jib, we can touch them on the raw with<br />
"the house duty;" if they step out too fast,<br />
tighten the " bearing rein" by 10 per cent, on the<br />
assessment; and should any attempt be made to<br />
bolt, we can secure them with a curb, by a tax<br />
on absentees.
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