COMIC ARITHMETIC
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing bj numbers. It is national, political, military, and commercial. It is of the highest importance to the community ; because it pre-eminently teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers succeed according to their knowledge of the science of numbers. Witness the skilful management of majorities of the lower house. He who understands the true art of Addition, Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore nummis." Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection of that god of honest men, the light-heeled and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add to our store by subtracting from the stores of others, that we may add to our importance. Let us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion among our contemporaries, that we may see their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
Arithmetic is the art or science of computing
bj numbers. It is national, political, military,
and commercial. It is of the highest importance
to the community ; because it pre-eminently
teaches us to take care of Number I. Our ministers
succeed according to their knowledge of the
science of numbers. Witness the skilful management
of majorities of the lower house.
He who understands the true art of Addition,
Subtraction, Multiplication^ and Division, as here
laid down, will not be considered a mere cipher in
tlie world; but will, in all probability, make a
considerable /^wre ; and in the figurative words of
Horace, be "Dives agris dives positis in foenore
nummis."
Let us, therefore, under the guidance and protection
of that god of honest men, the light-heeled
and light-fingered Mercury, be diligent so to add
to our store by subtracting from the stores of
others, that we may add to our importance. Let
us so multiply our resources, by encouraging dimsion
among our contemporaries, that we may see
their reduction in the perfection of our own practice.
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THE PUFF SCHOLASTIC. 167<br />
they be unfortunately destitute of these, they may<br />
produce testimonials<br />
of fitness from their washerwomen<br />
; but those who do not indulge in the<br />
luxury of a clean shirt<br />
may be recommended by<br />
the teacher of any Social sect to which they may<br />
belong. These certificates must certify them to<br />
be bumble headed, addle-pated, numbscuUed, good<br />
for nothing else ; that they wear dickeys and are<br />
donkeys.<br />
Upon entering the Institution the seminants<br />
will be forced to forget everything they ever<br />
knew, by a machine invented by Mr. Combe for<br />
" Razing out the errors of the brain," and which<br />
has been used with the happiest effects at the<br />
Glasgow Normal Establishment.—A perfect Tabla<br />
Rasa being thus produced in vacuo, on Locke's<br />
principle, the professors will commence teaching<br />
their pupils to know a great A from a bull's<br />
foot, how many beans make five, and other<br />
branches of the pure mathematics.<br />
As all the seminants will be naturals, Natural<br />
Philosophy will be a principal object of study, and<br />
the mechanical system of Dr. Lardner will be the<br />
text- book.<br />
History will be imparted through the<br />
renowned histories of " Jack the Giant Killer,"
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