Viva Lewes Issue #150 March 2019

HEALTH
Psychotherapy
Mending the mind
What do you think of when you
hear the word ‘psychotherapy’?
Woody Allen? Tony Soprano?
Certainly the ubiquitous couch…
If you have no first-hand experience
of therapy, you may be
drawing your knowledge more
from (American) films and television
than reality. So what actually
is it?
“That’s probably the most
frequently asked question,” says
Mark Vahrmeyer, psychotherapist
and co-founder of Brighton and Hove Psychotherapy,
which runs its Lewes practice from The
Barn in Southover High Street.
“Put simply,” he continues, “it’s a ‘talking’ therapy.
Probably the most helpful answer is that psychotherapy
is a relationship in which past losses can be
worked through. We can’t undo what experiences
we’ve had or what losses we’ve experienced, but
psychotherapy can help. It can enable people to
find meaning.”
Developed by Sigmund Freud in the late 19th
century, psychotherapy has since evolved into various
forms, but is characterised by its emphasis on
communication, and the significance it places on
the relationship between client and therapist.
“The difference between counselling and psychotherapy,”
clarifies Mark, “is that psychotherapists
are trained to work at a more profound
level and to look at deeper patterns. Counselling
is helpful for where someone has suffered a
bump in the road, such as a bereavement, but
psychotherapy works to repair attachment damage,
which is more deeply rooted and dates back
to early childhood.”
‘Attachment’ is the term used to describe
the close bond between parent and child, he
explains. “To a young infant
who does not yet have the use
of words, everything can feel
intrusive, from a passing vehicle
to thunder or a flash of light.
The infant needs the parent to
take in psychic material, and to
use thier mind to make sense
of it for the child – but, for all
sorts of reasons, this can go awry,
leading to a fear of rejection or
abandonment.Through psychotherapy,
people who didn’t have
that secure attachment in childhood can learn
what went wrong, and how to hold on to new
relationships.”
Mark says that clients mainly self-refer (“not
knowing what’s wrong but sensing something
is missing”), and include children, adolescents,
adults, couples and families, with different forms
of psychotherapy tailored to suit each. “We
have a broad area of expertise, and specialise in
different modalities and client groups. The most
important thing is the client-therapist relationship,
as all modalities have the same goal. Just
as different languages have different words for
the same thing, so therapists might work slightly
differently, but the purpose is always the same:
to gently shine a light on what’s going on.”
At its most basic, he concludes, psychotherapy is
about helping people to feel okay.
“Everyone who has endured neglect or abuse
invents a story about being special. Psychotherapy
is about learning to be ordinary. How do we
endure the ordinariness of life and relationships?
It’s not about quick fixes or ‘being happy’ – it’s
about being okay as we are.”
Anita Hall
brightonandhovepsychotherapy.com
Photo by Katie Vandyck
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