The Good Life – March-April 2019

You might be a
parent when…
things like “Peppa
Pig Live” at the civic
center seem like a
great way to spend a
Friday night. In reality, it’s a
nightclub for toddlers complete with a hysterical
crying girl in the bathroom cleaning vomit off her shirt,
loud music blaring overhead and a $20 cover charge
for a wrist band (or, in this case, a plastic light-up
wand).
You might be a parent when… you find yourself in a
reverse hostage negotiation, trying to talk your way IN
instead of out. “Think of how your friends are going to
feel today if they have to go down the slides without
you… you don’t want to let them down, do you? Come
on, let’s at least go in and see what’s for breakfast.”
You might be a parent when… poop becomes an
acceptable talking point at the dinner table. And it
doesn’t matter if you’ve got company, you cannot pass
up the mind game opportunity to reinforce how fun it
is to poop in the potty compared to your pants.
You might be a parent when… “Costco” becomes
date night. Next time you’re at the big box store, pay
attention… that couple that’s got an empty cart slowly
meandering through every single aisle as if the outside
world has ceased to exist? They’re parents who’ve
successfully lined up a trustworthy sitter.
Sure, you give up the identity you’ve built up over
the years, along with any credentials you
may have earned, the moment you
become a parent, but you’re
now “Mom” or “Dad”...
and no other title
comes with so many
rewards (or as many
snacks). •
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