24 Seven May 2019

FEATURED CONTENT
THE ROLLER COASTER
OF GRIEF
HARRIET CABELLY, LCSW
EALING WITH loss and
D
grief is one of the life’s most
difficult tasks. It is one we
are never prepared for and
yet is inevitable. Inherent in life is loss, pain
and grief.
Loss comes to us in many forms besides
the obvious death of a loved one. When we
lose anything that has major significance
and value in our lives, like a break-up of
a relationship/divorce, our health to a
critical illness, and even seemingly normal
life transitions like retirement, becoming
an empty nester, or giving up a home after
many years, feelings of grief set in.
What exactly is grief? It is our natural
response to the loss of someone or
something that we have valued, loved and
felt connected to.
We tend to think of it as an emotional
response, which it certainly is, but it can
show itself in other areas, such as physically
and mentally where our body and mind feel
it as well.
We can think of it as a whole being response
to a deep pervasive sadness. The word grief
comes from the Latin verb meaning ‘to
burden’. A grieving person is burdened with
the heaviness of very strong feelings.
We must hold on for dear life as we are
tossed and bounced on a topsy-turvy ride of
grief.
Here are some succinct pointers in holding
on:
Give yourself permission to feel. As
uncomfortable and difficult it is to feel
such overwhelming emotions of sadness,
know that you’ll get through it (even
though it doesn’t feel like it at the time).
Don’t berate yourself for feeling bad or for
crying yet again; otherwise we compound
our natural sadness and pain with selfimposed
recriminations. Then we’re upset
for being upset. Nobody wants to feel these
most painful feelings. But it is in the going