Have Faith November Issue

A Brand New Look
conflict raged so hard. With that said,
let’s pick up the story.
...So there I am, A Catholic raised,
battle hardened veteran with a million
life questions running around my head
with no answers. The mental health
professionals could not get to the root
of my PTSD, my Faith had literally been
smashed to pieces in the military, and I
was at the point of losing all hope. Yet I
found myself sat in the military chapel of
a Cathedral (It seemed the right place for
me to be) asking for God’s help.
I was answered. Not straight away, and
not in any way which would challenge
reality but subtly and in the right timing.
It came with the urge to write down
everything in my head. I don’t know why
as I was never academical or anything
special with the English language but
I had to just write. The result was
spectacular. I wrote a poem which
seemed to spark the beginning of the end
of the PTSD. I can remember weeping
uncontrollably for hours after writing it.
When I calmed down, for the first time in
years, I felt a sense of relief and peace,
The next 5 years, in short saw me create
a whole network of assistance to help
veterans. I have to say, so many lives
were not only changed but certainly
saved. The bottom line was, I was now
doing the job that God had wanted me to
do, Everything I had been through, had
learnt, had suffered was all parts of God’s
plan for me to be in exactly the right
position to help others. God truly had
answered, Not only had he answered me,
he had been there all along,
But let’s get back to the faith I needed to
sort out. I had been raised as a Catholic.
Something I could not go back to after
serving in Northern Ireland. My big
problem was my past. How could I tell
people I was a Christian when I had lived
a very unchristian existence? My answer
came after reading about St Paul. I
related to him so much. He, like me had
an unchristian past. Yet, he turned to our
Lord as you all well know and gave his
life in the Word of Christ. I think the big
point for me was, he was human. Had
human faults, had human tendencies
and yet showed that change was possible.
That was it.
So, for me I have become a student of
Christianity. Let me explain how I see
that. Firstly, I still do not feel worthy to
call my self a Christian. But my learning
to be one has begun. I am still making
mistakes, though not as big as they were,
I still do not know everything I should
about my faith but I have the rest of my
life to learn as much as I can. My final
test will be standing in front of God
on the day of my Judgement. If I am
welcomed into His house, I will have
qualified to be a Christian.
To me, this thinking will keep me on a
good and true path but I will always be
open to learning and not in a position
which puts me above myself. So I have
begun by writing my reflections and
thoughts in the hope that they may be of
use to others. Where I go from here, I do
not know but I’m sure God does and he
will let me know in his own good time,
After all his timing is faultless.
www.havefaith.org.uk 03 |