Issue 01 - Loneliness

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A KISS WRITTEN BY TREVINA TRAN Was it right? Had I sacrificed my emotional timeline in favor of the movie scene first kiss? A stone bench in Yerba Buena park, overlooking the city and the sunset. It was picture perfect. Yet, emotionally blurred. The night sky, speckled with stars -- my cheek, speckled with your kisses. There are small candle flames, but no fireworks today. The air feels a little too tense. Was it me? Intimacy, admittedly slightly damp, with a hint of resolve to make it a memorable night. I wander home eventually. “Are you judging me” I ask my best friend. “Not really … just When did you grow up” I didn’t know. Did I? Unless I didn’t grow up. Unless this wasn’t really me. Did I choose the pretty memory over the rightful timing? The pattern continues. 11
STRUGGLING WITH SOCIAL CONNECTIONS IN COLLEGE Prior to attending college, I would say my experience with social connections was easier. Growing up and attending schools in Oakland, I was surrounded by those that came from similar socioeconomic backgrounds. We just wanted to make it out and eventually give back either to ourselves or to our families and our community. The stories of how our parents immigrated to the U.S. for a better life resonated with most of us. Even as someone reclusive as I am, I was still able to make connections that, so far, I haven’t been able to make at UC Berkeley. Maybe it’s because I’d known my friends from home for years, or because we can all relate to each other; whatever it is, these connections I’d made prior to college had a really positive impact on me. came true.” For the rest of the time I’ve been at Berkeley, I haven’t been able to make as strong connections. Sure, I made some good friends and got along well with my first-year roommates, but it wasn’t the same. I couldn’t talk about the struggles of being a low-income first-generation Indian-Lao American cisgender male because I was mostly surrounded by individuals that did not come from these backgrounds. I got diagnosed with depression and an eating disorder in the Fall of my first year of college, which probably contributed to my not socializing as much as I had prior to college. Things just seemed to get worse socially; the only person that I really hung out with most of the time was my girlfriend, whom I’d also met in Summer Bridge. I had high expectations for social connections in college. I expected to make way more friends in college since everyone is supposed to be more open-minded and we’re all on the same path of attaining a higher education. Part of my expectation came true while attending Summer Bridge, which is the summer program available to incoming freshmen at UC Berkeley. It’s an opportunity for scholars to take Berkeley classes while staying in one of the on-campus dorms, and to meet other incoming Berkeley freshmen, potentially making long-lasting friendships. I’m now in my sophomore year of college, and I will still say that most of the friends that I’ve made at Berkeley were from Summer Bridge. I felt super connected to my dorm floor, as if they were family. That’s why I say “part of my expectation 12 That is why I’ve made it my mission to “go out more”—literally out of my dorm—and make new friends during my second year of college. From my first year, I learned that I can’t wait for potential connections to come to me like I did prior to college; I have to go out and search for them. Colleges are full of students from various backgrounds. It’s not like it’s one school where you’re surrounded by people who look like you and were raised like you. I’ve recently joined the Southeast Asian Student Coalition (partly because I’m half-Laotian and I wanted to be in a community where I’m surrounded by familiarity) so that I can increase my social connections. And so far… it’s been looking pretty good, and I have hope for myself this year. WRITTEN BY HITESH KUMAR KHILWANI
Page 1 and 2: SOCIAL MEDIA MAKES ME ANXIOUS P7 TH
Page 3 and 4: A ZINE BY YOUNG PEOPLE, FOR YOUNG P
Page 5 and 6: LETTER FROM THE EDITOR: ROBIN RASKO
Page 7 and 8: My sophomore year of college I live
Page 9 and 10: LONELINESS ALARM CONNECTION LEM PRO
Page 11 and 12: Bumping into people I knew meant lo
Page 13 and 14: Photography feat.Christopher Lloyd
Page 15: It was a relief to no longer be con
Page 20 and 21: felt like everyone had friends, whi
Page 22 and 23: awkward moments as a society, but t
Page 24 and 25: CLOSING NOTE: CAROLINE FITZGERALD A
Page 26 and 27: EDITOR IN CHIEF: ROBIN RASKOB CREAT
Page 28: VOLUME 1, ISSUE 1: THE LONELINESS I

Issue 01 - Loneliness

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