Issue 01 - Loneliness

STRUGGLING WITH SOCIAL CONNECTIONS IN COLLEGE
Prior to attending college, I would say my
experience with social connections was
easier. Growing up and attending schools
in Oakland, I was surrounded by those
that came from similar socioeconomic
backgrounds. We just wanted to make it out
and eventually give back either to ourselves
or to our families and our community. The
stories of how our parents immigrated to
the U.S. for a better life resonated with most
of us. Even as someone reclusive as I am,
I was still able to make connections that,
so far, I haven’t been able to make at UC
Berkeley. Maybe it’s because I’d known my
friends from home for years, or because we
can all relate to each other; whatever it is,
these connections I’d made prior to college
had a really positive impact on me.
came true.” For the rest of the time I’ve
been at Berkeley, I haven’t been able to
make as strong connections. Sure, I made
some good friends and got along well with
my first-year roommates, but it wasn’t the
same. I couldn’t talk about the struggles
of being a low-income first-generation Indian-Lao
American cisgender male because
I was mostly surrounded by individuals that
did not come from these backgrounds.
I got diagnosed with depression and an
eating disorder in the Fall of my first year
of college, which probably contributed to
my not socializing as much as I had prior to
college. Things just seemed to get worse
socially; the only person that I really hung
out with most of the time was my girlfriend,
whom I’d also met in Summer Bridge.
I had high expectations for social connections
in college. I expected to make way
more friends in college since everyone is
supposed to be more open-minded and
we’re all on the same path of attaining a
higher education.
Part of my expectation came true while
attending Summer Bridge, which is the
summer program available to incoming
freshmen at UC Berkeley. It’s an opportunity
for scholars to take Berkeley classes while
staying in one of the on-campus dorms, and
to meet other incoming Berkeley freshmen,
potentially making long-lasting friendships.
I’m now in my sophomore year of college,
and I will still say that most of the friends
that I’ve made at Berkeley were from
Summer Bridge. I felt super connected to
my dorm floor, as if they were family.
That’s why I say “part of my expectation
12
That is why I’ve made it my mission to “go
out more”—literally out of my dorm—and
make new friends during my second year of
college. From my first year, I learned that I
can’t wait for potential connections to come
to me like I did prior to college; I have to
go out and search for them. Colleges are
full of students from various backgrounds.
It’s not like it’s one school where you’re
surrounded by people who look like you and
were raised like you. I’ve recently joined the
Southeast Asian Student Coalition (partly
because I’m half-Laotian and I wanted to
be in a community where I’m surrounded by
familiarity) so that I can increase my social
connections. And so far… it’s been looking
pretty good, and I have hope for myself this
year.
WRITTEN BY
HITESH KUMAR KHILWANI