V18 N13

is filling out nicely. I just kind of
shave from the tragus (the little
flap in your ear that you probably
didn’t know had a name) down
to my jawline and clean up the
neck. I also hit the cheeks because
otherwise 85% of my face would
be beard and I’d look like that cake
guy from Food Network. As for
my weight, after a VERY up-anddown
week that saw me creep back
over 240 (Wednesday I shame ate
an Uncle Bill’s breakfast sandwich
and hosed half a ham-and-cheese
classic and bag of Herr’s before
bed) I was able to course-correct
and weigh in Sunday at 236. That’s
1lb lighter than last week and -16lb
overall. I am doing this for several
reasons — I’d like to live as long as
possible, I’d like to look as good as
possible, but mostly I want to get
lighter than Jack because I know it
will make him feel awful. I am 2.5lb
away from doing just that.
David Walter popped in to the
EZFS gift shop for a magazine the
other day. I said, “Flip to page 21
for a column by our handsome,
young writer, Terry O’Brien.” He
responded, “Young and handsome?
I’d like to meet him some
day.” BAM. Roasted.
Sweetheart of the Week: Ben
Cohen made his eagerly awaited
return to Cape May on Saturday
and handed me an envelope with
a card in it upon which he wrote
some of the nicest things anyone’s
ever said to me (and Tim,
and Cathrine, but mostly me…).
It was full of wit, pathos and, most
importantly, CASH. (The money
was nice, but the words would have
been enough. To be clear, I’m keeping
the money. Love ya, Ben!)
New Best Friend of the Week:
Johnny Rodriguez (along with his
fetching bride, Ashley) spent most
of last weekend at our tiki bar. We
swapped nerd credentials (we
both love Star Trek, comic books
and Orson Scott Card novels) and
my understanding.
There’s no reason anyone on
Earth should care about this, but
we received simultaneous calls
from Copiers Plus last Thursday.
(Listen, this column doesn’t just
write itself…)
Found a station rerunning my
favorite 90s sitcom, Newsradio, an
underappreciated gem that has
aged fairly well. Dave Foley, Maura
Tierney, Joe Rogen, Andy Dick,
Stephen Root… just an amazing
cast. But, like The Office stuck
around too long after Steve Carell
left, Newsradio should have hung
it up when Phil Hartman passed.
So this bad assorange and
black McLaren pulls in for gas last
week. I asked Cary, our gas station
manager, whose car it was. She
says, “Some old white guy.” A few
minutes later a man of about 30
emerged from Sunset Liquors, paid
for his gas and left in the McLaren.
Thirty. “Old.” I suddenly feel very
dusty. (Also, it was apparently
this McLaren that led police on
a high-speed chase down Sunset
Boulevard later that day. Man, I
wish I was that cool…)
Free Advice of the Week: We
here at Exit Zero Filling Station are
currently figuring out, on the fly,
how to run, in essence, our fourth
different restaurant in the last four
months. Ninety-eight percent of
the time this effort is seamless and
unnoticed because our kitchen and
management team do an excellent
job adapting and overcoming.
The ducks who appear calm on
the surface while paddling like hell
below. One percent of the time
we are humans who make human
mistakes. And one percent of the
time shit happens that we can’t
control. But I promise you, no one
wants you to get your food or drink
faster than we do, and if you find
yourself cursing out a server, manager
or owner because you had to
wait longer than anticipated (or
he eventually got up and played a because you ignored our instructions
not to leave home until we
10am-10pm l Curbside Pick-Up l Free Delivery
song with us. A fun couple I look
forward to seeing again. They’re call) the problem is yours, not ours.
Sunset & Broadway l 609-435-5052
also from Burlington, NJ, home of ’Til next time, don’t get caught
the world’s oldest coat factory, as is in The Undertow.
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