The Synergy Project Magazine - October 2020

BEING FILIPINO:
CONCEALING ETHNICITY,
SCHOOL LUNCHES
AND RECIPES
By: Mariel Bumanglag
“Kain na!” a voice calls from
the kitchen. Let’s eat! As you walk
down the stairs, you can already
hear the chorus of sisig sizzling on
the stove. You already know that
your family is scattered around,
frantically setting down placemats
and plates. When you reach the
kitchen, you’re met with the sight
of an array of dishes, from savory
meals to sweet desserts. You pull
out a seat, circled by close family
and distant relatives. Like it always
has, the food on the table brings
everyone together, even if just for
one meal.
When people ask me how
Filipinos greet one another, I find
myself stumped. We say “hello”
too but when coming up with an
answer, a shrug always seemed to
be my response. One time, I asked
my mom the same question.
“You can say ‘kamusta?’”
She’d tell me.
“No, but that’s ‘How are
you?’” I’d whine, unsatisfied with
the translation.
“We welcome people into
our homes by saying ‘kain na tayo!’”
Let’s eat together now!
I’d shrug, thinking that
inviting people to eat with you was
an odd greeting.
Looking back at that answer
years later, I see the truth in her
answer. Every time I leave a Filipino
dinner with relatives, we’re left
carrying armfuls of leftover food.
When my mom visits one of her
friends, she comes home and with
her, old containers with cassava
cake, lumpia, and buko pandan.
After finishing enough food for
a trio, there’s always someone
beaming and pushing the tray of
pancit my way, a gesture I know too
well. “More food?”
To remember the time
in my life when I was ashamed
of eating the chicken adobo my
parents would make for lunch, it
makes a wave of sadness wash
over me. As a young child, with
barely anything to worry about,
I’d gladly wave goodbye to my
neighborhood friends as my dad
carried a steaming bowl of sinigang
to the table.
Once I started getting
older and entering the last years
of elementary school, my Filipino
pride began to waver. All of the
other kids in my class didn’t look
like me. They all had pale skin,
narrow noses, and fair hair. Every
day, I’d see Lunchables and juice
boxes pulled out of bags. There
was always a rotation between
oddly-shaped chicken nuggets,
deflated hamburgers, or Eggo
waffles on white trays with
chocolate milk cartons. If you asked
these kids what lunch looked like to
them, I’d bet you all my money that
none of them would guess sinigang
and rice or banana leaf-wrapped
suman.
After I realized that I
was too unlike my peers, I made
changes. Emulating the cool, white
teenagers I’d watch on Disney
Channel, I started addressing my
parents as “mom and dad.” I asked
my mom if she could start packing
me peanut butter sandwiches
instead of anything with rice,
tiptoeing my way out of bringing
anything that would warrant a
scrunched face and pinched nose.
Once I moved to a school
and spent time with other Asian
students, watching them embrace
their cultures and their native
languages, it made me want to do
the same. I began sharing more
of my culture when people asked,
describing foods we ate at family
gatherings and singing video-oke.
The years of neglecting
the importance of my ethnicity
make me feel like I’m not “Asian
enough” because I speak broken-
Tagalog at home and I don’t eat
as many Filipino meal-foods as
I wish I did. When asked about
Filipino traditions, my mind goes
blank. I have no knowledge of any
widespread Filipino traditions with
such magnitude as Chinese New
Year or important ceremonies.
Despite being exponentially
more comfortable being Filipino,
I still haven’t shaken everything
I considered to be “normal” or
“beautiful.” I hate taking off my
glasses in front of others because
I think that people won’t like the
combination of my small eyes
with my broad nose. I’ll find skin
cleaners hidden in my cabinets,
an array of them adding “skin
whitening” as a pro for the product,
and wonder if my arms look nice
even if they’re on the darker side.
I am still learning how
to be comfortable with making
mistakes, with learning more about
the Philippines and the culture
and Tagalog. For me, baking my
favorite dishes allowed me to bond
with my mom, to hear her stories
of the Philippines, and to take a
step closer to learning more about
my heritage. Perhaps trying the
recipes of these Filipino desserts
and meals will make you want to
bring leftovers home in a former
ice-cream container as well!
16 THE SYNERGY PROJECT MAGAZINE