V18 N29

10/10: West Cape May
Lima Bean Festival
PHOTOGRAPHS BY ALEKSEY MORYAKOV
Effendger family
Undertow
Terry O’Brien’s legendary column... social satire, shameless plugs — and general self-indulgence
I
write to you this from atop a rather large
stack of pins and needles. Why? Because,
by the time you read this, our dinner
theater production of my original show,
Young Dracula, will be in the books. Huge
success? Abysmal failure? I DON’T KNOW!
Because, as I write, on a drizzly, miserable
Sunday afternoon (although one in which the
Eagles are showing a surprising amount of grit
versus the Steelers), the show is still two days
away (Tuesday, so you may still be able to catch
the odor of the smoldering wreckage of my
acting career if you catch the wind right), so I’m
in the kind of terror-filled limbo, straining to
glimpse into the future and failing.
I’m reasonably sure my cast mates will
do very well — they’re all solid professionals
who do their homework and come prepared.
A finer group of actors you will not find. The
same, however, cannot be said of me. To be
fair, though, the show was written in a manner
that even the most seasoned professional
would have problems memorizing it correctly;
a Laurence Olivier, an Alec Baldwin, a Parker
Smith (I know, I wrote the part for him and he
played it 100 times and if he just could have
delayed his vacation for a couple of weeks
it’d be HIM chewing at his nails right now
instead of me, but I digress). So I get to be mad
at myself twice. Once for struggling with my
lines, and again for writing said godforsaken
lines.
But I’m probably over-worrying. I’m sure
everything will be fine and a good time will be
had by all. Besides, I never like being OVERprepared
for these things, and half the fun is
figuring out what I’m going to say next.
We at Exit Zero Filling Station, me and my
Not Ready for Premium Fuel Players and the
West Cape May Christmas Parade organizers
are very grateful to everyone that purchased a
ticket and made this, “Hey! Let’s do a play in the
barn!”Mickey Rooney-esque production such
a success. (As of 4pm Sunday, the 4:30 show
was over 50% capacity and the 7:00 show was
SOLD OUT.)
And just so you know, this wasn’t really
my idea, I said to Jack Wright a few weeks ago,
“Hey Jack Wright, why don’t we do a staged
reading of one of my shows for Halloween?
You know, maybe put on some costumes, set
up a few microphones, read from our scripts.”
Jack, as Jack does, said, “Why don’t we just do
a whole show?” If there’s a bigger Go Big or
Go Home guy than Jack Wright, I haven’t met
him yet.
My big fear is that weather, my failing
memory or unforeseen technical issues make
a hash of the whole thing. My bigger fear is
that all goes perfectly and Jack says, “Let’s do
another one!”
George, Kathy, Rosemary, Bill
wise men say
only fools rush in
but i can’t help falling in malt with you.
Miller family
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MALTED CHOCOLATE PEANUT BUTTER, YOU’RE GONNA MALT IT.
Available at cape may peanut butter co, 516 CARPENTERS LN & CAPEMAYPEANUTBUTTERCO.COM.
PORCH SIDE PICK UP AND FREE DELIVERY AVAILABLE. SEE WEBSITE FOR DETAILS.
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October 15, 2020 EXIT ZERO Page 21