Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

Chapter 1: The Dominant
What is a Dominant?
Just as we might expect any reasonable discussion of the solar system to focus
first upon our sun, we’re going to begin our examination of
Domination/submission (D/s) relationships by taking a look at the self-appointed
center of the D/s universe, the Dominant. In any relationship, it is always the
interplay of personalities that helps us to understand the true nature of the
relationship dynamic at work. It isn’t so much about what happens inside of
their heads, as it is about what happens between the partners in the relationship.
This is very much the case in a D/s relationship, where the true expression of
one’s core personality is enhanced by a partner who not only understands it, but
encourages it and thrives upon it. After all, it’s hard to be a leader without a
follower, and vice-versa.
In this chapter, we will explore the part that the Dominant plays in this little
waltz. Some of the questions we’ll address are: What is a Dominant? What
drives a Dominant? How does someone know if he or she is a Dominant? How
does one approach, or please a Dominant? What are the risks and drawbacks of
being a Dominant, or being involved with one? We’ll discuss those, and other
relevant questions, because at the risk of appearing to contradict what I’ve just
said in the preceding paragraph, it is important to understand what is going on
inside of a Dominant’s head as a precursor to understanding what occurs
between a Dominant and his or her submissive.
Knowing a Dominant’s heart and mind can often be a difficult thing. A
Dominant, generally speaking, does not appreciate being psychoanalyzed,
categorized, or labeled. The reason can be simply stated thusly: Scientia
potentia est. Knowledge is power. For a Dominant, life is all about power, in
one form or another. It needn’t always be about power over other people.
Sometimes, it can be as simple as the power to control or change his own life
circumstances, to alter his environment, or to choose his own path.
If you really want to learn about a person’s true character, the part of him that
stays safely tucked away from view most of the time, just give him a little