Domination & submission _ the BDSM relationship handbook ( PDFDrive )

I stated previously, most people can perform
admirably in either a dominant or submissive role as needed in their day-to-day
lives. To learn whether you are psychologically hard-wired to be a submissive,
you need to dig a little deeper than that. One way to
do that is to consider where your mind retreats to when it needs to find its happy
place - the mental sanctuary where you find joy, where your soul can
recharge. Another way to accomplish the same thing is to take note of
what happens when you are under a great deal of stress or duress, when fear and
confusion short-circuit your ability to act out a role. It is in those moments of
dread and anxiety that the facade is stripped away momentarily and the
foundational character traits are laid bare for all to see. The
question isn’t whether or not you are fearful. The question is: When
experiencing terrible fear, do you instinctively become a leader or a follower?
If you find more comfort as a follower than as a leader
in times of great stress or danger, then you just may be a submissive.
Does it give you a thrill when the person you love takes charge in the bedroom?
Once again, let me caution you about
misinterpreting the question. This is not a question about whether you can or do
take charge sexually in the bedroom. This question is about how you feel when
someone else does. Remember, D/s isn’t necessarily about what you do. It’s
about who you are, how you relate, and how you feel. Some people find this
difficult to believe, but your competency at demonstrating dominant behaviors in
your sex life has nothing to do with whether or not you may be a submissive.
But whether or not having your hair pulled during rough sex sends tingles to
your crotch just might. If the mere thought of your partner showing you who’s
boss in the bedroom causes your heart to go all aflutter, then you just may be a
submissive.
Do you seem inexplicably attracted to highly assertive, self-confident people?
Have you developed a sort of intuitive