2_-_court_of_mist_and_fury_a_-_sarah_j._maas

away from the shore.
“You looked at me,” Rhys said, “and I knew you had no idea who I was. That I might
have seen your dreams, but you hadn’t seen mine. And you were just … human. You were
so young, and breakable, and had no interest in me whatsoever, and I knew that if I stayed
too long, someone would see and report back, and she’d find you. So I started walking
away, thinking you’d be glad to get rid of me. But then you called after me, like you
couldn’t let go of me just yet, whether you knew it or not. And I knew … I knew we were
on dangerous ground, somehow. I knew that I could never speak to you, or see you, or
think of you again.
“I didn’t want to know why you were in Prythian; I didn’t even want to know your
name. Because seeing you in my dreams had been one thing, but in person … Right then,
deep down, I think I knew what you were. And I didn’t let myself admit it, because if
there was the slightest chance that you were my mate … They would have done such
unspeakable things to you, Feyre.
“So I let you walk away. I told myself after you were gone that maybe … maybe the
Cauldron had been kind, and not cruel, for letting me see you. Just once. A gift for what I
was enduring. And when you were gone, I found those three picts. I broke into their
minds, reshaping their lives, their histories, and dragged them before Amarantha. I made
them confess to conspiring to find other rebels that night. I made them lie and claim that
they hated her. I watched her carve them up while they were still alive, protesting their
innocence. I enjoyed it—because I knew what they had wanted to do to you. And knew
that it would have paled in comparison to what Amarantha would have done if she’d
found you.”
I wrapped a hand around my throat. I had my reasons to be out then, he’d once said to
me Under the Mountain. Do not think, Feyre, that it did not cost me.
Rhys kept staring at the table as he said, “I didn’t know. That you were with Tamlin.
That you were staying at the Spring Court. Amarantha sent me that day after the Summer
Solstice because I’d been so successful on Calanmai. I was prepared to mock him, maybe
pick a fight. But then I got into that room, and the scent was familiar, but hidden … And
then I saw the plate, and felt the glamour, and … There you were. Living in my secondmost
enemy’s house. Dining with him. Reeking of his scent. Looking at him like … Like
you loved him.”
The whites of his knuckles showed.
“And I decided that I had to scare Tamlin. I had to scare you, and Lucien, but mostly
Tamlin. Because I saw how he looked at you, too. So what I did that day … ” His lips
were pale, tight. “I broke into your mind and held it enough that you felt it, that it terrified
you, hurt you. I made Tamlin beg—as Amarantha had made me beg, to show him how
powerless he was to save you. And I prayed my performance was enough to get him to
send you away. Back to the human realm, away from Amarantha. Because she was going
to find you. If you broke that curse, she was going to find you and kill you.
“But I was so selfish—I was so stupidly selfish that I couldn’t walk away without