ACC Accord Summer 2021 Issue 111

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Stephen Lawrence, Breonna Taylor and others. After being very angry, I decided enough was enough I could no longer stand by and allow such treatment to continue without taking action. I wrote a couple of emails, one to BACP and the other to ACC. I wrote to ACC even though at the time I was no longer a member, I had left as I did not see myself represented in accord. To my surprise and delight I got a call from Kathy Spooner, from that phone call the Inclusion and Diversity group, now ACCEnT, was formed. The group was formed to ensure diversity is represented across ACC. Within months of the group forming we drew up a list of things we wanted to achieve, such as representation on the ACC board, to act as a consultation/ advisory group, to be able to share ideas and support each other, to increase the take up of counselling by exploring and devising ways to get more black men interested in counselling from both sides of the couch, and other things. Getting black men more interested in counselling has been a passion of mine for several years. Over the last 15 years or so I have been meeting with a group of black men from various churches to sit, eat and have real, honest conversations. I started this group with a friend of mine, who I had been meeting with, and recognising how much we were getting out of our conversations, we decided to share the benefits with other black men. The group meets monthly, and conversations have been varied - marriage, raising children, racism in the church and society, the murder of George Floyd, issues with siblings, etc., always considering what the Word of God has to say on the topic. The men who have attended the group have felt energised and go back into their environment, with added tools to help in their relationships at home and in their workplaces. Others have thought that they were the only ones going through the issues and were glad to hear that they were not alone. We were invited to a local church men’s group to talk about counselling and the benefits of this group. One of the comments made about counselling was, “why should we talk to strangers about our problems?”. They clearly recognised they were going through some issues and yet felt they could not or did not want to talk through the issues. I am aware of the message that I and other men got, when growing up, about “being a man”, “men are not supposed to cry”, “we are to suck it up”, “be brave”, etc. Sadly, these messages stay with us and I did bottle things up which was not good for me. One of the things that came out of the meeting with these men is that a few of them came for counselling as they recognised the need to talk. The murder of George Floyd came a few days before our monthly meeting. Having had our discussion I was able to excise a lot of the anger that I was feeling and it was this, and through listening to and expressing what was going on for me, that I came to know that I had to do something, hence the emails to ACC and BACP. The other more challenging thing which I had avoided for a long time, was having the discussion with white people. I was far too angry with white people and just did not feel they “Why should we talk to strangers about our problems? cared enough to want to have the discussion. I have tried in the past, but comments such as “I’m not racist”, “I have black friends”, “I don’t see colour”, “Why is race an issue?”, have very quickly shut down any discussion. However, the Black Lives Matter protests across the world have made having the discussion on racism more accessible. Having spoken to several white people my assumptions were wrong. Whilst there are some who did not want to talk about racism most did, and that was healthy for both parties. I felt more encouraged after those discussions as it meant there is hope for the future. My supervisor and counsellor are both white and I was not sure if I was going to raise the issue with them. However, the first thing my supervisor asked me was 'how was I feeling', - that was a nice opening question, as it showed me it was about me. Being honest with myself meant I was able to have some open and honest discussions with friends and family. I want to end with this from Dr Martin Luther King Jr “Our loyalties must transcend our race, our tribe, our class, and our nation; and this means we must develop a world perspective.” Leroy Harley Dr Martin Luther King Jr. 40 accord Summer 2021 www.acc-uk.org • www.pastoralcareuk.org
feature Pregnancy loss by Amanda Padley Pregnancy loss affects around 1 in 4 women and if not personally affected then most of us know someone who has been. Yet despite the high statistics, it remains an often taboo subject with women, partners and families struggling to find help. In April this year, the government announced that 26 new dedicated NHS hubs would be created to support thousands of pregnant women and new mothers who would be able to access specialist help and support. The 26 hubs will bring maternity, reproductive and psychological services together as part of the NHS long term plan. Around 6000 women will be able to access care for a wide range of maternity and mental health services. The hubs are planned to be open by April 2022. While there is a recognition of the devastating effect of pregnancy loss, nothing is mentioned about post-abortion support for women. My name is Amanda, I’m an art psychotherapist working for a charity in North Wales called IPAC Options. IPAC focuses on unplanned or crisis pregnancy and pregnancy loss, including abortion, and is part of the PCN (Pregnancy Centres Network), a network which has currently around eighty five centres across the UK and is expanding. Many centres have waiting lists, an indication of the need for the work. Along with crisis pregnancy and post abortion support, I have also met with clients who have experienced multiple miscarriages and also those who are going through the gruelling process of fertility treatment. The centres are not just for women but also their partners, as pregnancy loss can affect the wider family or be a secret invisible grief. ART THERAPY I think I have always had a fascination with the miracle of birth. The words of Psalm 139, ‘for I am fearfully and wonderfully made, knit together in the secret place,’ have always held an awe for me; so it felt natural to specialise in this area. For many years as an artist I had worked dyadically with women and children, but it was the women’s stories that captivated me rather than working with children, so when I began my placement I chose a women’s centre. Art therapy uses visual expression and art materials as the primary source of communication. Sometimes words are inadequate, particularly with trauma, so using symbols and metaphors enables us to speak from deep within and express ourselves through artmaking. That is not to say that art therapists don’t talk with their clients. I have primarily worked with adult women, and women like to talk! The women at the centre responded really positively to art therapy, and as they shared their stories, I became aware of how many had been affected by pregnancy loss and post abortion grief. A WOMAN’S CHOICE In this country it is a woman’s choice and legal right to terminate a pregnancy. However that does not mean it is a simple choice; often complications and coercement have influenced that decision. I have had clients confused and angry that no one had warned them about the negative consequences of abortion. They told me, ‘A friend had one and she was fine.’ Another recalled that they had seen a character on a soap opera have a termination and just move on; then why did they feel this way when it was only a bunch of cells? Confusion, grief and anger often accompany post abortion work. There is always the ‘What if’ and the ‘What would have been’ at the back of the mind. For some women post abortion loss or trauma, is an unspoken secret, complicated and a disenfranchised grief, a taboo not recognised by society and difficult to find help for. Figures published by BPAS (British Pregnancy Advice Service) state 95% of women felt they had made the right choice, 5% did not. In 2019 alone 207,384 women had abortions (Dept of Health and Social care) so 5% means 10,369.2. Over ten thousand women did not feel they made the right choice. As Christians we have the biblical model of God’s recognition of unborn life, but the rights of the foetus are outweighed in our society by the rights of the mother www.acc-uk.org • www.pastoralcareuk.org accord Summer 2021 41
Page 1 and 2: Issue no. 111 Summer 2021 e-accord
Page 3 and 4: editorial Editorial by Sue Monckton
Page 5 and 6: feature Weinstein. Millions of indi
Page 7 and 8: feature or purpose. They may questi
Page 9 and 10: feature not mean a return to ‘nor
Page 11 and 12: The beginnings of this journey tie
Page 13 and 14: feature This may look a bit confusi
Page 15 and 16: feature Spirituality and support in
Page 17 and 18: feature users benefits everyone.
Page 19 and 20: News & Diary New Head of Membership
Page 21 and 22: pastoral care Current Support Numbe
Page 23 and 24: Counselling CHANGES TO MEMBERSHIP R
Page 25 and 26: feature government to implement a f
Page 27 and 28: feature “to lead gently.” There
Page 29 and 30: feature males:102 females) to compl
Page 31 and 32: pastoral care behaviour (including
Page 33 and 34: feature explanation and clarificati
Page 35 and 36: feature feelings of coldness, super
Page 37 and 38: feature works two days a week as a
Page 39: feature Meeting ACCEnT Forum Member
Page 43 and 44: feature Supporting a nation in mour
Page 45 and 46: In Touch Table Talk for Wellbeing -
Page 47 and 48: In Touch Do you have a female frien

ACC Accord Summer 2021 Issue 111

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