NG16 Oct/Nov 2021
Local business directory and community magazine
Local business directory and community magazine
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Top Tips<br />
Flip it Over<br />
When cutting a large loaf of bread, turn it over and start to cut it<br />
on the soft bottom side to save it from being squished.<br />
B Grift<br />
Heat Conductor<br />
Line an ironing board with aluminium foil, refl ective side up, and<br />
replace your ironing board cover over the top. The foil will refl ect<br />
the heat making it quicker and easier to iron your clothes!<br />
J Smotherley<br />
Sticky Cleaner<br />
Use the sticky side of a post-it note to clean the keys on your<br />
keyboard. Just slot the sticky side in between the keys and slide it<br />
along the row.<br />
F Trueman<br />
TopJokes<br />
What did the number 0 say to the number 8?<br />
Nice belt!<br />
L Woodhouse<br />
How many tickles do you have to give an octopus?<br />
Tentacles!<br />
P Grimshaw<br />
Cat’s<br />
What’s the difference between an old abandoned bus station,<br />
and a lobster with breasts?<br />
One’s a crusty bus station, the other’s a busty crustacean!<br />
H Clark<br />
Crackers<br />
Whoever invented knock, knock jokes should be given a no bell<br />
prize!<br />
A Clarke<br />
Want to smooth frizzy hair?<br />
Want to smooth frizzy hair? Lightly spray your hair with hairspray, then<br />
roll the can from the roots to the tips to fl atten out the ends and stop the<br />
frizz.<br />
B Grift<br />
Lettuce Spinner<br />
Put just washed lettuce in a clean tea towel and spin it round and round<br />
outside the house to reduce the water and not damage the lettuce.<br />
A Clarke<br />
Hair Remover<br />
To remove pet hair from cushions and soft furnishings put a rubber glove<br />
on your hand and rub the item. The glove will attract the hair and create<br />
balls of hair that can easily be thrown away.<br />
J Hinkley<br />
Why did the fi sh blush?<br />
Because it saw the oceans bottom!<br />
J Smotherley<br />
What nails do carpenters hate to hit?<br />
Fingernails!<br />
F Trueman<br />
What’s the best thing about Switzerland?<br />
I don’t know but the fl ags a big plus!<br />
J Smotherley<br />
Have you heard the butter joke?<br />
Never mind, you’ll spread it!<br />
H Clark<br />
WINNING<br />
ENTRY<br />
Dropped a whole jar<br />
of mayonnaise all over<br />
the kitchen fl oor!<br />
Flipping Hellman!<br />
H Clark<br />
WIN A £20 ONE 4 ALL VOUCHER<br />
Send your top tip or joke for inclusion in the next mag.<br />
The best one will win a £20 One 4 All voucher!!<br />
Please email your entries to cat@ngmagazines.org.uk<br />
and include your name, address & tel no.
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