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SATURDAY Vanguard, OCTOBER 16, 2021—41<br />

As soon as Timi came<br />

through the door of the<br />

roar<strong>in</strong>g party, all eyes<br />

were on her. Not because of her<br />

beauty of course. I’m sure if her<br />

mum were alive, she would be the<br />

last to call her pretty. But she’s<br />

always been very successful <strong>in</strong> her<br />

career and, as soon as the current<br />

manag<strong>in</strong>g director of the firm<br />

she’s worked with for decades<br />

retired, she was next <strong>in</strong> l<strong>in</strong>e A<br />

divorced mother of two, she’d<br />

paraded a str<strong>in</strong>g of men of means<br />

s<strong>in</strong>ce her divorce.<br />

Only, after a few years of<br />

courtship and us<strong>in</strong>g her to get<br />

favours from her numerous<br />

contacts, they’d dumped her. But<br />

like it’s said, there was always<br />

another man <strong>in</strong> the w<strong>in</strong>gs, ready<br />

to promise her last<strong>in</strong>g friendship.<br />

And the <strong>in</strong>curable romantic she’s<br />

always been, she always fell for<br />

their glib tongues.<br />

So, who was this man that now<br />

walked through the door with her,<br />

tower<strong>in</strong>g above her and look<strong>in</strong>g<br />

<strong>in</strong>credibly handsome? Surely he<br />

wouldn’t be another lucky ‘f<strong>in</strong>d’ of<br />

hers? By the time they’d hung<br />

around for the best part of an hour,<br />

words were out they were l<strong>over</strong>s.<br />

His name was Andy, an eng<strong>in</strong>eer<br />

bunmsof@yahoo.co.uk<br />

Pull off a new romance at 60!<br />

who had a successful bus<strong>in</strong>ess<br />

abroad. The ic<strong>in</strong>g on the cake for<br />

Timi was his be<strong>in</strong>g a divorce – he’d<br />

been s<strong>in</strong>gle for as long as Timi<br />

had, and if th<strong>in</strong>gs went the way<br />

they planned, he would be right<br />

there by her side as her husband<br />

when she would be confirmed her<br />

firm’s new manag<strong>in</strong>g director.<br />

All these facts came months<br />

later of course, as friends were<br />

dealt blow-by-blow reports on the<br />

progress of the romance. I was a<br />

bit anxious about Timi who<br />

always wore her heart on her<br />

sleeve. So when I ran <strong>in</strong>to her a<br />

few months before her expected<br />

promotion, I tried to h<strong>in</strong>t she<br />

should take this new relationship<br />

of hers with a shovel-full of salt.<br />

“What do you mean?!, she flared.<br />

“I’ve known Andy a long time you<br />

know! And we’d dated briefly <strong>in</strong><br />

the past. It was providence that<br />

made us meet aga<strong>in</strong> on an<br />

<strong>in</strong>ternational flight. Now we stay<br />

<strong>in</strong> each other’s houses whenever<br />

either of us travelled. Even when<br />

he’s away on bus<strong>in</strong>ess, I could<br />

always let myself <strong>in</strong>to his flat as I<br />

have extra set of keys.<br />

“You of all people should be<br />

happy for me! After all the<br />

adventurous users I’d been<br />

Sex is like go<strong>in</strong>g to the gym!<br />

SPEAK to any mother of<br />

young children and she’ll<br />

undoubtedly tell you that<br />

<strong>in</strong>timacy with her husband is not<br />

on her list of priorities. As far as<br />

most new mothers go, <strong>in</strong>timacy is<br />

usually tagged ‘the last job of the<br />

day’. But could hav<strong>in</strong>g children<br />

make your sex life with your<br />

husband even better – eventually?<br />

That with a bit of work, it can<br />

trigger a second honeymoon?<br />

Well, that’s what Sally said she<br />

disc<strong>over</strong>ed after three children<br />

and a sex life that left her husband<br />

gett<strong>in</strong>g a bit <strong>in</strong>different <strong>in</strong> the<br />

bedroom.<br />

“After hav<strong>in</strong>g children, a<br />

woman’s needs become mundane,<br />

th<strong>in</strong>gs such as her husband’s<br />

laundry or gett<strong>in</strong>g the meals ready.<br />

But a man’s libido rema<strong>in</strong>s. With<br />

our three children all under ten<br />

came the exhaustion of<br />

motherhood. I went from be<strong>in</strong>g a<br />

bubbly, flirty th<strong>in</strong>g to an anxious,<br />

snappy creature who lived <strong>in</strong> old<br />

wrappers tied across my chest.<br />

Dan, my husband’s demands<br />

became more of a bother. When<br />

met by my cold shoulder <strong>in</strong> the<br />

bedroom, he’d ask: ‘Have you<br />

gone off me? When I f<strong>in</strong>ally<br />

acquiescent after a few months<br />

with great reluctance, it’s usually<br />

<strong>in</strong> the missionary position and<br />

ma<strong>in</strong>ly because I didn’t want his<br />

need be<strong>in</strong>g met elsewhere.<br />

“I must have tackled more than<br />

I could chew – what with erratic<br />

house – helps and a randy husband<br />

– that my doctor diagnosed<br />

depression and gave me antidepressants.<br />

It was then Dan<br />

realised I really had a problem<br />

and he became more sympathetic.<br />

At least he could see that my lack<br />

of desire for sex wasn’t down to<br />

him. On one occasion, he even<br />

confessed he’d feared I was<br />

hav<strong>in</strong>g an affair – with three<br />

young children to look, after!?<br />

“When I was with my friends, our<br />

ma<strong>in</strong> <strong>top</strong>ic of conversation was<br />

how a house full of children left<br />

us do<strong>in</strong>g all we could to avoid sex.<br />

But I know Dan deserved more.<br />

He was a good husband and I<br />

wanted to satisfy him. Could<br />

anyth<strong>in</strong>g br<strong>in</strong>g the buzz back?<br />

Oddly enough, the trigger was a<br />

silly domestic row. I was still mad<br />

at him as I left for work <strong>in</strong> a huff.<br />

Then I remembered I still had<br />

some money meant for him <strong>in</strong> my<br />

bag. A colleague had advertised<br />

some l<strong>in</strong>gerie that I thought were<br />

ridiculously expensive. With<br />

sadistic delight, I splashed out his<br />

money on quite a few. At least with<br />

them, I might just be able to<br />

reignite a long-dormant spark.<br />

“And so, that night, while Dan<br />

was lock<strong>in</strong>g up, I changed <strong>in</strong>to my<br />

new undies and slipped <strong>in</strong>to bed.<br />

Instigat<strong>in</strong>g sex for the first time <strong>in</strong><br />

years was such a turn-on. When<br />

Dan saw me <strong>in</strong> bed, his mouth<br />

dropped open. It was the best sex<br />

we’d had <strong>in</strong> years. It felt like those<br />

early days when all that mattered<br />

was us. My libido had been kickstarted.<br />

See<strong>in</strong>g how happy it had<br />

made us, I came up with a plan<br />

<strong>in</strong>spired by an article I once read.<br />

I decided we should try to have<br />

sex every day for a week. Dan was<br />

delighted. And while we managed<br />

only three nights – exhaustion, TV<br />

and one of the kids be<strong>in</strong>g ill – we<br />

had fun try<strong>in</strong>g.<br />

“I realised what I’d been<br />

<strong>in</strong>volved with, I’ve<br />

f<strong>in</strong>ally met a genu<strong>in</strong>e<br />

man who wants to<br />

marry me!” Marriage?<br />

That was a new twist to<br />

the tale. Timi is a glam<br />

gran of 60 who has<br />

three grandchildren.<br />

Tell me, what sane man<br />

with a supposedly good<br />

job gets married to a<br />

60-year-old?<br />

Experience had<br />

thought me to keep my<br />

mouth shut whenever<br />

anyone I tried to<br />

counsel mentions love.<br />

NO matter what is<br />

said, they seldom listen.<br />

“And he’s a stud too,” she<br />

breathed. “For the first time s<strong>in</strong>ce<br />

I kicked my no-good husband out,<br />

I f<strong>in</strong>ally found a man who is free<br />

to parade me as his partner. And<br />

he’s taken the <strong>in</strong>vestment side of<br />

my life under his w<strong>in</strong>gs. We have<br />

some profitable projects we’re<br />

currently <strong>in</strong>volved with...”<br />

Warn<strong>in</strong>g bells started clang<strong>in</strong>g,<br />

but I kept my mouth shut. When it<br />

comes to bus<strong>in</strong>ess deals, Timi is<br />

as ruthless, as they come. Thanks<br />

to her bus<strong>in</strong>ess connection, she’s<br />

made a lot of m<strong>in</strong>d-bugl<strong>in</strong>g deals<br />

miss<strong>in</strong>g: how mak<strong>in</strong>g love unites<br />

a couple. The next morn<strong>in</strong>g we<br />

were more demonstrative <strong>in</strong>n our<br />

affections. Sex is like go<strong>in</strong>g to the<br />

gym – you might not fancy it to<br />

start with, but once you make the<br />

effort, you get addicted. It became<br />

a naughty secret between us – we’d<br />

send each other sexy texts dur<strong>in</strong>g<br />

the day and gaze at each other<br />

<strong>over</strong> d<strong>in</strong>ner. I suddenly<br />

remembered what I’d found<br />

attractive about my husband. It<br />

felt so dar<strong>in</strong>g – adults frolick<strong>in</strong>g<br />

<strong>in</strong> the same house as the children!<br />

Before we had children, the fact<br />

that sex was on tap made us<br />

complacent...”<br />

So all you readers read<strong>in</strong>g this<br />

and th<strong>in</strong>k<strong>in</strong>g ‘if only’, Sally<br />

stressed – if she could do it – after<br />

three children and ten years of<br />

almost non-exist<strong>in</strong>g libido –<br />

anyone could. “Believe me,” she<br />

concluded, “you’ll want to shout<br />

about it too!”<br />

and has impressive property to<br />

show for it. Who knows what other<br />

profitable doors this Andy wonder<br />

could open for her?<br />

Friends were prepar<strong>in</strong>g a few<br />

congratulatory parties for her<br />

promotion when the bubble burst.<br />

Andy had disappeared! “What do<br />

you mean disappeared?” I asked<br />

the friend who broke the news as<br />

if she was actually glad Timi had<br />

met her come-uppance. “That<br />

crafty rogue bided his time,” she<br />

expla<strong>in</strong>ed. “For close to two years,<br />

he spent a lot of her money and<br />

lavished attention on her; gave her<br />

m<strong>in</strong>d bugl<strong>in</strong>g sex and <strong>in</strong>troduced<br />

her to his four children as their<br />

step-mum. The crunch came when<br />

Andy <strong>in</strong>formed Timi of a property<br />

currently go<strong>in</strong>g for a song <strong>in</strong><br />

Brita<strong>in</strong>. They could both buy the<br />

property and turn it <strong>in</strong>to m<strong>in</strong>i bedsits<br />

for s<strong>in</strong>gle tenants. Timi fell<br />

for the impressive e-mail he sent<br />

her, show<strong>in</strong>g all the property’s<br />

features, what they both could do<br />

with it and how much they would<br />

be rak<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> when the bedsits were<br />

eventually let. He even made it<br />

possible for her to speak with the<br />

estate agents.<br />

“His firm would handle the<br />

reconstruction so they could save<br />

a few pennies. Our love-struck<br />

aunty fell for it. She sent <strong>in</strong><br />

thousands of pounds as downpayments<br />

and later flew down to<br />

see the progress be<strong>in</strong>g made at<br />

reconstruction. The builder was<br />

quite helpful too, answer<strong>in</strong>g all the<br />

questions Timi wanted answers to.<br />

She was so impressed, she sent <strong>in</strong><br />

more money. That was when Andy<br />

s<strong>top</strong>ped all contact with her. She<br />

couldn’t believe it. She travelled<br />

out and hurried down to his house<br />

but all the locks had been changed<br />

and none of the neighbours knew<br />

where to f<strong>in</strong>d him. She was still<br />

mak<strong>in</strong>g frantic enquiries about his<br />

whereabouts when he sent her a<br />

text he was <strong>in</strong> hospital and<br />

seriously ill. He would get <strong>in</strong> touch<br />

as soon as he felt better.<br />

“When next Timi visited their<br />

build<strong>in</strong>g site, the rubble were still<br />

there with no workers. On <strong>in</strong>quiry,<br />

she was told it was council<br />

property. Furiously, she tried to<br />

get hold of Andy with no luck. In<br />

the end she got hold of one of his<br />

daughters who didn’t look<br />

shocked at what her dad just did.<br />

“He does it all the time,” she said<br />

look<strong>in</strong>g at Timi with pity. Timi<br />

begged her to ask Andy to get <strong>in</strong><br />

touch or she would use all her<br />

connections to destroy him when<br />

next he showed up <strong>in</strong> Nigeria. ‘Why<br />

don’t you do just that?’ Andy<br />

challenged when he called a few<br />

days later. “I’ve just left the<br />

hospital after pay<strong>in</strong>g hefty bills<br />

from the venereal disease you gave<br />

me. You say any nasty th<strong>in</strong>g about<br />

me and I would let the world know<br />

what a disease riffled trollop you<br />

are!’<br />

Needless to say, that was the end<br />

of discussion leav<strong>in</strong>g our glam<br />

gran with no romance, no<br />

prospective husband and a chunk<br />

of her sav<strong>in</strong>gs gone, but happy to<br />

still have a job!<br />

Honeywell, FRSC collaborate on road safety awareness<br />

For the safety of lives and<br />

property dur<strong>in</strong>g Mber<br />

months especially Christmas<br />

period, the yearly road safety<br />

awareness <strong>in</strong>troduced by Road<br />

Safety and Honeywell Flour Mill<br />

Plc. has kicked off <strong>in</strong> a way to<br />

rem<strong>in</strong>d travellers especially<br />

drivers the need to observe road<br />

safety roles to avoid road<br />

accidents and avoidable deaths<br />

on our roads.<br />

Speak<strong>in</strong>g dur<strong>in</strong>g the awareness<br />

exercise, Assistant Corp<br />

Commander (ACC), Emmanuel<br />

Obi, Unit Commander RS2.15<br />

Ojota said, “we are here today<br />

because of the collaboration we<br />

have with Honeywell, <strong>in</strong> respect<br />

of our Mber month flag-off<br />

awareness with a theme:<br />

“Ma<strong>in</strong>ta<strong>in</strong> Self-Speed, Avoid<br />

Night Travel, Enjoy Quality Road<br />

Experience”. It has been ongo<strong>in</strong>g<br />

programme s<strong>in</strong>ce Road Safety<br />

started, that towards the end of the<br />

year, we try to sensitise our<br />

motorists on the right way to use<br />

the roads and tell them that the<br />

month of December is like any<br />

other month <strong>in</strong> the year. This, we<br />

have been do<strong>in</strong>g every year, and it<br />

is not an <strong>in</strong>-house programme.<br />

Awareness has always been go<strong>in</strong>g<br />

on and we have what is called,<br />

‘advocacy visit’ where we visit<br />

parts, churches and mosques to<br />

keep creat<strong>in</strong>g road safety<br />

awareness. It has been an ongo<strong>in</strong>g<br />

th<strong>in</strong>g <strong>in</strong> Road Safety”.<br />

However, Commander Obi said<br />

that what we are try<strong>in</strong>g to preach<br />

now is for drivers to avoid <strong>over</strong><br />

speed<strong>in</strong>g, get your valid driver’s<br />

lisence, don’t <strong>over</strong>load vehicles,<br />

ensure that your tyres are <strong>in</strong> good<br />

condition. “We also disencourage<br />

night trips because of the<br />

condition of our roads and<br />

<strong>in</strong>security <strong>in</strong> the country”.<br />

In addition, Mr. Dayo Adeniyi<br />

who is the lead trade market<strong>in</strong>g<br />

function, Honeywell Flour Plc.,<br />

said,<br />

“We have been <strong>in</strong>to this<br />

partnership with Road Safety up<br />

to a decade to create awareness<br />

dur<strong>in</strong>g Mber months because of<br />

our <strong>in</strong>terest <strong>in</strong> the life of Nigerians.<br />

Unfortunately, dur<strong>in</strong>g this season,<br />

a lot of lives are lost which need<br />

not be so, because of low<br />

awareness, ignorance and other<br />

practices of drivers. We will<br />

cont<strong>in</strong>ue to collaborate with Road<br />

Safety to ensure that the<br />

awareness and <strong>in</strong>formation is out<br />

there to our drivers and populace<br />

L-R: Trade Market<strong>in</strong>g Manager, Honeywell Flour Mills Plc, Mr.<br />

Adedayo Adeniyi; Customer and Channel Market<strong>in</strong>g Manager, Mrs.<br />

Ebele Oluwalana; Area Commander, Federal Road Safety<br />

Commission, Ojota Unit, Emmanuel Obi; Head Human Resources,<br />

HFMP, Mrs. Bisi Duduyemi and Head Corporate Strategy, Mr. Gbolaro<br />

Olulade, dur<strong>in</strong>g Honeywell/FRSC ember month safety campaign, <strong>in</strong><br />

Ikeja, Lagos…on Thursday<br />

at large on the need to take life<br />

easy at this time”.<br />

In terms of result of this<br />

awareness, Adeniyi said, “I want<br />

to believe that the Road Safety has<br />

the record of reduction <strong>in</strong> road<br />

accident and lives lost dur<strong>in</strong>g<br />

these periods.<br />

Speak<strong>in</strong>g about Honeywell<br />

Flour Mill Plc, he said <strong>in</strong> terms of<br />

our bus<strong>in</strong>ess, more people<br />

patronise us because they are life<br />

and the lives we are able to safe<br />

through this awareness is also to<br />

the benefit of our nation, Nigeria.

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