Outandabout March 2022 Issue195

46 | OUT AND ABOUT COSTA BLANCA
CHANGE YOUR LIFE
Are you in a difficult relationship?
How are you coping with that? Do you
feel you are between a rock and a
hard place? Do you feel you are not
able to move because any move means pain?
Have you decided to stay, in spite of all the
problems? How are you going to be able to
deal with this?
However you answer the above questions,
remember that no one is perfect, and
relationships can be less than easy some of
the time, but if we are going to bring out the
best in each other perhaps it is time to look at
things impartially, and ask a few very direct
questions....what was it about my partner
that attracted me in the first place? What
has happened to that person? Have they
changed during the relationship? Then, have
I changed too?
Remember we are not trying to allocate
blame here. In a relationship between two
people at any given moment in time, we are
seeing the end result of having made various
choices in our lives. So now, if our life’s
choices differ vastly from those of the person
we are with, there is definitely going to be
conflict, unless there is plenty of tolerance.
A good relationship should be co operation,
not competition. If we are competing with
our partner, that immediately makes them an
adversary, and not a loved one!
Try to be the kind of person we would
want to be with. If we feel unloved, are we
LOVEABLE?? Problems arise when we give
up thinking about the other person, and this
can cut both ways! Selfishness never results
in happy relationships!
If the person we are with has become all the
bad things we can think of, perhaps they
have become that way without question. Do
we talk to our partners about meaningful
things? Have we discussed ground rules
in the relationship, and do we know what
hurts out partner, or is unacceptable? It is
never too late to try to communicate. It is the
foundation of every successful relationship.
Remember “It’s good to talk”!!
It is evident from listening to some of my
clients in the past, that sometimes the only
communication between them is when the
other person is doing something wrong!
Then the criticism starts. How does that
make anyone feel? Sadly, always being
negative and critical can never bring good
results. If we want to improve things we
could try using kindness and affection,
both are powerful tools and can be used
effectively. This is not as simple as it sounds,
but perhaps it is worth a try.
Being in a loving relationship should make
us feel GOOD! If that isn’t true in your case,
then to make changes you you need to be
strong and deal with the situation to achieve
what you need. Bad relationships do not
mend themselves, and remember, only YOU
have the ability to make the changes you
want in your life.
You CAN be happy!
Violet King
Take Care......Till next time!