MARCH 2022. Blues Vol 38 No. 3

underestimate the role nurses
play in giving you hands on care.
The nurses said I made their jobs
much easier because I laid perfectly
still, which is apparently
very important. They said that
the number of patients who can’t
keep still boggles their minds.
After a few more hours of
laying flat (hard to do) I was
released to go back to my room.
I could now sit up, but my right
leg had to remain extended with
no pressure on it.
I was discharged the next day
(Thursday) to go back to our
daughter’s apartment. I was on
restrictions such as no lifting
anything over five pounds, but I
could sit in a chair and watch TV.
The next day (Friday) I got out
of the apartment and walked
around the area. It’s a beautiful
area, but walkers have to watch
out for alligators (it is Florida).
On Friday, I began to earnestly
analyze my experience from
both a practical standpoint and
a spiritual introspection. From a
practical standpoint I started to
connect the dots in what I can
now see was about a two year
process that culminated in my
ending up in a Florida ambulance
and surviving something I
had no business of surviving.
About two years ago, just
before the pandemic, my heart
developed an irregular beat and
my resting heart rate was faster
than usual. I went to my doctor
and cardiologist. The irregular
heartbeat was diagnosed as
benign and treated with a drug
called Metoprolol which also
slowed my pulse. After starting
the drug, I was extremely fatigued
in the afternoons. I continued
to battle my way through
the fatigue, but it was not easy.
I had been on a high protein
diet (Atkins), but that diet basically
stopped working for me. I
theorized at the time it was due
to the Metoprolol slowing down
my metabolism.
Last August at my physical, I
had some blood work issues tied
in with the lower metabolism. My
liver enzymes were elevated. The
doctor said that I could no longer
be on Atkins. I had to go on a
low calorie-low fat diet. So I did.
That diet was/is working for me
and I’ve lost over fifty pounds and
I hope to be under 200 pounds
shortly.
About a month or so ago I
would inexplicably throw up my
food sometimes. I went to the
doctor and my liver enzymes
were elevated. I had a liver and
gastro ultrasound and that was
normal. The doctors were working
on that problem when they
cleared me to go to Florida.
While connecting the dots, I
recalled the fireman in the back
of the ambulance. He asked me
to clear my mind and point to
the epicenter of my sensation. I
realized that I pointed to the exact
same spot where my nausea
bouts began. As I look back on it,
the beginning stage of the nausea
episode was the same feeling
as the heart attack sensation.
After I would throw up, I felt fine.
Of course, I told my Houston
doctors this during my follow
ups. Apparently, the nauseating
liver experience and the coronary
experience had the same
point of origin: the 99.9% blockage
of my artery. New blood
work shows all my enzymes are
perfectly normal. My BP is 104/71
and pulse is 63. My primary care
physician told us yesterday that
she never says a heart attack is
a good thing, but in my case it
was. A fatal blockage was removed
and there was no damage
to my heart. While awaiting
official word from the gastroenterologist,
my liver is functioning
well and all my blood work is
normal. The debilitating fatigue
is gone.
The practical analysis of the
experience revealed that I had
no “classic symptoms.” No chest
pain, no radiating discomfort
in my arms, no heartburn, no
shortness of breath - not even an
abnormal EKG during the event.
I had nausea a month before.
I had sore muscles. I perspired
from my forehead on a cold
morning. I had an uncontrollable
urge to walk in circles. I say
all of this to tell you to listen to
your body. Don’t try to rationalize
away what it is telling you.
Make a pact with your spouse
(and anyone else you spend a
lot of time with) that you will
always err on the side of calling
9-1-1 for each other rather than
rationalizing the sensations away.
All the doctors and nurses were
very grateful for the 9-1- 1 call.
It made all the difference from
a practical standpoint. On a side
note, go to the hospital with your
spouse or family member and
spend the night, if possible. The
support and acts of aiding the
patient with small requests are
invaluable and help the patient
and the staff.
My weighty spiritual introspection
was initiated after our
return flight home. I received a
call from the nurse who assisted
in the catheterization. She called
to make sure that I was receiving
follow up care in Texas. I reassured
her that I was receiving
care from my primary and cardiology
doctors. I recalled that she
said she got goosebumps when
she saw the blocked artery. I
thanked her and her friends for
saving my life. She said, “God
isn’t through with you yet.” I
knew that I was experiencing
some form of “survivor’s guilt”
and I told her that I had no idea
why God saved me among so
many who did not survive, but
my new mission is to try and figure
out what He wants of me.
As one connects the dots
practically, Christians (I can only
speak for my beliefs) connect
the dots in the realm of faith.
Becky, Bethany, Joel, and I started
to connect all the circumstances
that had to happen for
my life to be saved. It quickly
spiraled out of control revealing
an obvious divine intervention
on my behalf. Biblical Christianity’s
thesis on the “meaning
of life” is that we are created to
experience a personal relationship
with our Creator. As one can
imagine, that experience and all
it entails is extremely personal
and infinitely complicated.
Since the beginning of time
people have tried to “dumb
down” this experience that we
have with our Creator. It’s too
easy to put God in a box and
describe the Creator in simplified
terms. One theological term
utilized in our quest to make
an immensely perplexing God
understandable to finite minds
is “anthropomorphic language.”
For instance, a Disney cartoon
will assign human characteristics
to non human things. Think
of a certain mouse running all
over Orlando giving out advice
while singing and dancing. Disney
is the master of “anthropomorphic
language.” Theologically
speaking, in the same way, we
assign God human characteristics
knowing God is not human.
We do these things because our
minds cannot produce an image
of God that doesn’t have them.
As an illustration, when you
think of God, do you see God’s
hand giving Adam life as painted
on the ceiling of the Sistine
Chapel? Genesis does say that
man was created in God’s image,
but that means in the spiritual
sense. He created us in the image
of eternity.
Our first inclination when experiencing
a miraculous event is
to praise God because He (anthropomorphic
pronoun) is good.
He is good, but not because He
intervened on my behalf. We
humans like the old standby that
serves us well in science, but
not in philosophy or religion. It
is called “cause and effect.” The
oldest book in the Bible, “Job,”
demonstrates that cause and effect
is ridiculous when it comes
to God. Job’s friends tried to
say that he was being punished
because he sinned against God.
The opposite of this fallacy is
also ridiculous: you receive good
from God because you are good.
It sounds correct on the surface,
but it’s absurdly simplistic and
intensely callous to those who
are experiencing tragic circumstances
in their lives. God doesn’t
work like that.
I do know that God has a plan
for each of us. I do not know
what that plan is in specific
terms, but I know that it somehow
involves speaking Truth to
the face of Falsehood. Job went
through some desperately difficult
times, including times of
divine intervention on his behalf.
I think I now know, in a small
way, what he must have felt like.
Job didn’t have all the answers,
nor did he try to extrapolate his
experience to others. If you open
your Bibles to the Book of Job,
Chapter 13, Verse 15a, Job says,
“Though he slay me, yet will I
trust in him.”
In the “Great American Novel”,
Moby Dick, by Herman Melville,
Chapter IX ‘The Sermon’, there is
a preacher called “Father Mapple.”
Father Mapple is modeled
after the real life preacher who
preached at the Whaleman’s
Chapel in New Bedford which
still stands today. Melville’s
sermon is a stand alone masterpiece
within a masterpiece.
It concludes with these words,
“And eternal delight and deliciousness
will be his, who
coming to lay him down, can say
with his final breath—O Father!—
chiefly known to me by Thy
Rod—mortal or immortal, here
I die. I have striven to be Thine,
more than to be this world’s, or
mine own. Yet this is nothing; I
leave eternity to Thee; for what
is man that he should live out the
lifetime of his God?”
I told my Cath Lab nurse that I
did not know why God saved me,
but I intend to find out. I do not
know what that may look like,
but I trust God.
96 The BLUES POLICE MAGAZINE The BLUES POLICE MAGAZINE 97