Catholic Outlook Magazine Lent & Easter Edition 2022

By looking at marriage as something that God
wants for us, we’re opening ourselves to new
possibilities of love for ourselves and for others.
“We talk about grace and the opportunity to have
children and grow your family.”
When a bride and groom join together in Christian
marriage, they’re embarking on more than a pathway
to personal happiness. A loving marriage with God at
the centre will ‘spill over’ into their family, their friends
and their community.
Looking at it this way, marriage is a way of living
out the love God wants for us. Basing our marriage
on love for others draws us closer to Him, and by
sharing that love, bring others closer as well.
Many people may not see marriage in terms of
being what the Catholic Church calls a ‘vocation’,
but long-time marriage educators in the Diocese
of Parramatta, Rowena and Angel Penano, say the
word hints at what marriage is all about.
“ “
”
It’s called a vocation
because it is something you
do not just for yourself, but
for others, out of love,
says Rowena.
“And that is a mirroring of God’s love for the world.
It’s a thing that helps others.”
Joan and Declan Sally are also pre-marriage
educators in the Diocese of Parramatta and say a
healthy marriage is always “evolving and growing”.
“The feedback we get is that people love the premarriage
course because it’s a chance to talk about
things they might not have heard before, like the
meaning behind the Church’s vows and the notion of
entering into marriage freely and wholly – two single
people coming together to form one unity,“ says Joan.
When a couple in a marriage see themselves in
partnership with God, they can also call on grace
when times get tough, say the marriage educators. It’s
something Rowena and Angel found out themselves
and remind new couples of, for when they experience
the inevitable bumpy times in a relationship.
“Our issue came down to different ideas about
finances, which came from different ways of looking at
money in our families of origin. In the end, it was grace
which helped us through, and to remember that we
loved each other. We were able to call on the grace of
the sacrament to strengthen us,” says Rowena.
We say that grace is one
of the ‘superpowers’ of
Catholic marriage,
”
she says.
The educators say it’s important for couples to
discuss difficult topics and to have strategies to
deal with and resolve the conflicts that will arise
in any marriage.
“We talk about marriage being a circle of connection,”
says Joan. “It’s not only about ourselves, but about
God and others. It’s bigger than us.”
Marriage preparation courses are held
face-to-face or online throughout the year.
For more information and bookings go to
www.parracatholic.org/pmp or call the MET
Marriage Team on (02) 8838 3460.
Debra Vermeer is a freelance writer.
Keeping the ‘we’ in marriage
• Stay connected. Find regular time to connect with
each other. It can be as simple as morning and
evening hugs or a phone call through the day.
• Make regular deposits in your marriage account. If
you build up deposits of fondness and admiration, it
will provide a buffer in the hard times.
• Be gentle with each other. Be aware of the language
you use and always try to speak gently and with
respect, especially during an argument.
• Remember the love that brought you together. Your
spouse is your best friend, the person you love. It’s very
hard to stay angry when you operate in this mindset.
• Be forward-thinking. Try to understand each other
and identify the pressures that might arise and
positive strategies to respond.
• Live your vocation in your Domestic Church. Allow
your faith practices to enhance your marriage and
support your journey together to eternal life.
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