Karibu Magazine July 2022 (updated)

The Realities of
Gender Based
Violence
An article by Susan Wambui Kiongo-Walker (Middle Georgia, USA)
This topic has, unfortunately,
taken forefront attention lately
on social media due to the rise
in innumerable, horrific and
very sad cases of gender-based
violence (GBV) many of which
have had tragic outcomes. The
seemingly sudden influx of these
cases leaves one to wonder what
has become of our society, and
why. It is said to gauge the social
health of a country, community
or a population, one looks at how
that group of people treat their
feeble or weak members, mainly:
children, those with special needs
and women. Beforehand, men
were not included in this group,
but thanks to the emergence of
holistic health, we now understand
that weakness encompasses not
only physical but also mental,
emotional, and economic among
other aspects. Therefore, in talking
about Gender-Based Violence,
it would only be fair to include
men as well because they too are
subjects of violence. So then, to
gauge the social health of a people,
one ought to look at how humane
those people are.
GBV is normally considered
to happen mostly in the home
setting or in matrimonial or
love relationships, although
it does happen in other social
circumstances such as in offices
or where people come together
for a common goal. For the
sake of this article, we limit our
discussion to the home setting.
Perhaps the most disheartening
thing in this whole matter is
that when two people fall in
love, they never envisage a
relationship of sorrow and tears,
fears and suspicions, mistrust
and heartbreak. They dream of
the wonderful life they shall live
‘happily ever after’. However,
things do not always turn out
the way we dream. And did not
someone say that dreams are only
illusions of the mind? It takes
many by surprise when the sweet
love life suddenly turns sour,
then bitter. It is a reality that hits
many hard and because this is
usually unexpected, the outcomes
can be very unpredictable.
Take the case of Rehema, an
18-year-old girl who has just
finished college. She is happily
enjoying her new job which has
promising career prospects. She
has just lost her mother the same
year she started working. This
leaves her badly traumatized.
Her dad, from whom she thought
she could get comfort and
direction, remarries within a year
of her mother’s death and soon
becomes busy with his newfound
love. Ushered unprepared into
the harsh adult world, Rehema
feels alone and abandoned. She
desperately seeks solace from
anyone willing to show any sort
of concern. Quite unprepared
psychologically and emotionally,
she easily falls prey to a much
older man. he quickly lures her to
move in with him. He promises
security and provision for all her
needs. She believes him and soon
enough they have two beautiful
daughters. Then her heavensent
knight in shining armour
turns into her worst tormentor.
He starts having affairs with
other women, often failing to
come home at night. He neglects
Rehema and her children. She
also learns that he has another
family. Any attempts to find out
the truth from him are met with
harsh rebuttals and threats to
put her and the children out on
the street. What happened to the
loving, sweet man she knew? She
is living a terrible nightmare.
And although he is not physically
abusive, the mental and
emotional anguish is intolerable.
Her meagre salary is not enough
to meet the needs of her two
children and herself. After
weighing the options seriously,
Rehema decides to leave the
relationship and struggle alone.
If only she could find peace of
mind…
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5TH EDITION | JULY 2022