Perception Spring 2023

Frater Maeus
S. Oppenheimer
You speak my name and I lament
The timing of our meeting
At the edge of the sulfur pit
You shouldn’t have met me
When I searched fire and funeral pyres for purpose
Stained hands sifting
For something
Even pitiful things
To complete me
Will me to life
In the fallout of my damnation
And so I found you
Bleeding neon luminance
Clinging to a broken halo of radiance
An amalgamation of broken hands- hands which
Raised you to the stars and whispered
“This could all be yours”
Your child-eyes looking on in awe
They fell silent as they threw you from your pedestal meant to break
Built from dreams thrust upon you
Which pierced your skin from the inside out as you fell I
met you after my dreams left- I pulled them out like teeth
Clawing upwards, outwards on blistered hands
You should have met me in the sky- radiant
Basking in pyrite euphoria
Bright, brilliant, beautiful
Before I danced in my own ashes
Before I found peace among the damned
How did it feel, seeing again
A new fate, hand extended, watching you in awe
Beckoning your broken grace towards bleeding warmth?
You flinch as I touch
Your ash dusted skin
My radioactive fingertips pressing your cheek
Burning you with the trace
Of the cleaning fires from which I forged myself
You twitch with throbbing pain as I lead you
Walking endlessly
Hand in unforgivable hand
How did it feel to sin?
I’ve grown to accustomed
Learned better than to try and curse careless gods
With the hands they sculpted- with my own pain upon them
In their reflections- they were promised to us
In my heart I still pray to them, still hold their light
But my fingers are far too broken to clasp themselves
So I clasp them in yours
How did it feel, reaching for your promised stars
Only to touch scar tissue
From the same pain of which you bleed?
Your demon eyes search the sky in desperation
For redemption, I tell you this is the end
Burning your palms on boiling sands
You don’t have to walk alone
I will guide you home
You should have met me when I knew what that was
You speak my name now
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