The Good Life – November-December 2023

“Krampus also has a basket to place children in … because
that’s the most efficient way to carry 25-90-pound children.”
town of Bethlehem. People purposely try to find the
Caganer relieving himself amidst the town’s hustle
and bustle. What a bunch of peeping Toms and
Thomasinas.
SANTA’S NOT-SO-MERRY GOAT-DEMON
While most Christmas customs in the Alpine regions
look incredible, the following practice lacks every
ounce of the Yuletide joy and light we so desperately
crave this time of year.
This tradition, practiced in Austria, Slovenia,
Croatia, and northern Italy, involves Krampus, an
anthropomorphic goat-demon that follows Saint
Nikolaus (aka, Santa) around to punish naughty
children. His gnarly appearance includes horns and
a nasty, long tongue that could slurp up a cup of hot
chocolate like a straw in 0.2 seconds.
Sure, Saint Nikolaus is okay and all, but why is he
hanging out with a demon who follows him around
kidnapping and whipping kids with a birch rod?
Maybe he’s not as jolly as we once thought. Krampus
also has a basket to place children in … because that’s
the most efficient way to carry 25-90-pound children.
To make this tale worse, Dec. 5 is Krampusnacht, a
night where hordes of men dressed up in elaborate
Krampus costumes walk through the streets of
otherwise picturesque Alpine villages. Off script,
they usually disturb the peace, committing drunken
crimes fit for a goat-demon. Properties get vandalized,
fights break out, and the season of peace and light is
darkened by none other than a demonic character in
the night.
Leave it to demons to dampen the Christmas spirit.
30 | THE GOOD LIFE