The Dreamed Basketball

My field goal percentage is soooooo low that
any one of my teammates would pass the ball to
an orangutan before they’d pass to me.
1
Bermúdez, who’s point guard of my team and my
best buddy, makes a fake, but he’s really unlucky;
the ball bounces off his foot, and he loses it.
Bounce, bounce, the ball’s coming in my direction.
Five seconds to go.
I catch it.
Why have I spent the whole game asking for it?
I’m scared to death!
The crowd roars, a lady flings up her arms, and
the salami goes flying out of her sandwich.
The coach yells:
“Shoooooooooot!”