International School Parent Magazine - Spring 2024

At some point, most ex-pat families
are likely to move countries, for
sure, it’s no mean feat relocating
your family to pastures new.
Claire Holmes, Head of School
Counselling, Tanglin Trust School,
Singapore has been an expat for 25 years; in
her professional role she is passionate about
facilitating smooth transitions, helping
young people and their families consider
relocation carefully. Her work inspired the
Moving On Series which comprises of
two activity books, the first, Leaving Well
and the second, Arriving Well, there’s a
Facilitator’s Guide too. In this article Claire
shares some tips for global transitions and
about her new series.
Preparation is key
Once you know you’re uprooting, the key to
a successful move is preparing in advance.
Being intentional about transitioning well
ensures important parts of the moving
process are not forgotten. How we leave a
place greatly impacts how we arrive at the
next. If we leave well, chances are we’ll
arrive well too. Moving is a time when
children feel a lack of control; however, they
feel empowered if they engage with their
leaving process as much as possible.
When should you tell your children about
the move?
A general rule of thumb is, when you know
for sure you are moving, it’s time to tell
your child/ren. It’s vital that children find
out from you first to maintain trust. In your
conversation, let them know why the family
is moving and do your best to answer any
questions. All children react differently
when they receive the news, depending
upon their age and affinity to their current
country; this can vary from excitement to
reluctance and anything in between.
What to bear in mind
You’ll most likely be bombarded with
questions, you may not know the answers
to some, this gives you a chance to research
together or help your child embrace the
unknown. Transitions are a time to boost
listening skills, listen more than you talk,
keep the ‘door open’ for conversations. Take
opportunities to let your child/ren know
what they’re experiencing sounds normal,
you get that it’s tricky, but you know they
can cope and you’re ready to support them.
Give as many choices as possible, about the
move and in general, this is empowering.
Even if you are not totally sure about your
global transition, stay positive but listen
to your child’s perceived challenges too.
Make time for your own self-care, this will
help you be calmer and more measured in
supporting your children.
Leaving well
You and your children will most likely
experience the pre-departure rollercoaster
of emotions, perhaps, feeling both excited
and scared, and other feelings too. On the
right is the acronym GUTS 2 (the 2 indicates
there are two S’ to consider), a checklist of
sorts which provides the nuts and bolts for a
smooth exit, and therefore, a smooth entry.
The Leaving Well Activity Book helps the
‘the leaver’ understand and plan around
these five points.
How to find the GUTS 2 to
leave well
is for Goodbye: plan how to say
G farewell to the four P’s: people,
places, pets, and possessions.
is for Unload Feelings: acknowledge
U and express how you feel about the
move.
is for Thank you: think about how to
T say thank you to people who have
made a difference.
S
S
is for Self-care: look after yourself to
boost wellbeing
is for Say hello: get curious about
your new destination
INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL PARENT SPRING 2024 | 59