Lot's Wife Edition 2 2017

Lot’s Wife 

edition two

IT MEANS THEY CARE? 

Relationships, be they partners, friends or family, can be a great 

part of life, but sometimes behaviours that we can brush off as 

someone 'just showing how much they care' can actaully be 

harmful or dangerous. Relationships should be about equality, 

respect and open communication. These are some red flags you 

should look for before or during any relationship. 

MONASH 

SAFER COMMUNITY UNIT 

T: +61 3 9905 1599 

E: safercommunity@monash.edu 

monash.edu 

Try asking yourself: 

• Do they show extreme moodswings, saying that they'll love you 

forever then getting angry and saying they hate you? 

• Are they expecting you to make big, unreasonable committments to 

them very early in the relationship? 

• Are they possissive, jealous or manipulative? Do they try to stop you 

from seeing your family and friends or spread lies about you to them? 

• Are they controlling of your behaviour, such as dictating where 

you go, what you can wear or even what you can eat? 

Never date someone out of pity and trust your instincts. If these 

behaviours sound familiar, the Safer Community Unit can help. 

For information, advice and support in a safe environment, please contact the Monash University Safer Community Unit on 9905 

1599 or just dial 51599 from a Monash phone.The Safer Community Unit website also lists resources and links to external agencies 

http://www.adm.monash.edu.au/safercommunity/ 

Adapted from Surviving Stalking (2002) by Michele Pathé

contents 

02/ 

editorial 

04/ 

msa calendar 

06/ 

office bearer reports 

08/ 

wot’s news? 

jessie lu & joanne fong 

11/ 

doing everything we can 

keyur doolabh & julia chetwood 

12/ 

dreaming of ivy league 

sophia mcnamara & linda widjaja 

14/ 

how to be a super broke uni 

student and survive 

chulani jithma kaluarachchi 

16/ 

international volunteering: 

selfless or selfish? 

devika pandit & julia thouas 

17/ 

in crisis: the greens must strive 

for electoral success 

jordan mosley & hugh brooks 

18/ 

a love letter to a lost america 

ben caddaye & lucy zammit 

20/ 

let’s talk about youth 

homelessness 

sachetha bamunusinghe & mohan lei 

22/ 

artwork: dinosaurs 

keely simpson-bull 

24/ 

what major should you choose? 

science & engineering sub-editor team & 

lin rahman 

25/ 

what’s the matter with 

anti-matter? 

isaac reichman & john henry 

26/ 

apathy and urgency 

lachlan liesfield & carly paterson 

27/ 

do patterns of social media use 

reflect personality traits? 

ambrose moore 

28/ 

science news 

science & engineering sub-editor team 

30/ 

student theatre: the MUST have 

dylan marshall 

32/ 

oscar bait: why the oscars are 

overrated 

nick jarrett & rachelle lee 

34/ 

the political is personal: an 

interview with judith buckrich 

evangeline yong 

36/ 

lucian and ‘the true history’ 

john henry & stephie dim 

38/ 

the beginner’s guide to 

melbourne’s art galleries 

jessica lehmann 

40/ 

the wacky and wonderful: jude 

perl 

manon boutin charles & sa pasa 

42/ 

why videogames are a great 

medium for storytelling 

rachael welling & angharad neal-williams 

44/ 

why reality tv is a blight on 

humanity 

marlo sullivan & audrey chmielewski 

46/ 

political acts: pioneers of 

performance art in 

southeast asia 

linh thuy nguyen 

48/ 

the human implications of 

scorsese’s taxi driver 

nick bugeja 

50/ 

cabin 85 

lachlan liesfield & john henry 

52/ 

the greenhouse 

joanne fong & anna tsuda 

54/ 

crazed anti capitalist 

nick bugeja 

54/ 

apprivoiser 

manon boutin charles 

55/ 

come back 

isaac reichman 

56/ 

wot’s life? with uncle trump 

donald trump 

57/ 

poetry: turn/whisky & gin 

shona louis & lucy zammit

edition two 

lot’s wife 

the team 

Editors 

Emina Besirevic 

Nick Bugeja 

Sophia McNamara 

Rob Staunton 

Design 

Hana Crowl 

Student Affairs 

Caitlin McIvor 

Dylan Marshall 

Sophie Ng 

Devika Pandit 

Politics & Society 

Mollie Ashworth 

Ben Caddaye 

Jessica Lehmann 

Lachlan Liesfield 

Arts & Culture 

Tim Davies 

Nick Jarrett 

Clarissa Kwee 

Linh Nguyen 

Creative & Comedy 

Manon Boutin Charles 

John Henry 

Georgina Lee 

Shona Louis 

Elizabeth Yu 

Campus Reporters 

Joanne Fong 

Jessie Lu 

Science & Engineering 

Tracy Chen 

Shreeya Luthra 

Isaac Reichman 

Rachael Welling 

Lot’s Wife is entirely run, written, illustrated, edited and designed by students. 

If you would like to get involved, we are always looking for new contributors! 

Say hi anytime: 

Lot’s Wife Office 

1st Floor, Campus Centre, 

Turn right at the MSA desk 

Or email us at msa-lotswife@monash.edu 

Advertising enquires: 

msa-lotswife@monash.edu 

Cover Art by Matilda Parolini 

Matilda Parolini is a Masters of Architecture student at Monash University and 

an illustrator. She combines several colours, textures and elements of symbolism 

in her work. While a keen artist in high school fueled her passion for creativity, 

she decided to pursue studies in Architecture. She manages to find herself 

turning to digital illustration because of its limitless possibilities, as another 

outlet of creativity which is quite different to her current studies. 

Instagram: @matildaparolini 

Lot’s Wife Edition Two 

March 2017 

Published by Mary Giblin at Printgraphics, Mount Waverley, Victoria. 

As you read this magazine you are on Aboriginal land. Lot’s Wife recognises the 

Wurundjeri and Boon Wurrung people of the Kulin Nations as the historical and 

rightful owners and custodians of the lands which this magazine was produced on. 

This land was stolen and sovereignty was never ceded. 

Lot’s Wife condemns and will not publish any material that is objectionable 

or discriminatory of any nature. The views expressed herein are those of the 

attributed writers and do not necessarily reflect the views of the editors or the 

Monash Student Association. All writing and artwork remains the property of the 

producers and must not be reproduced without their consent. 

© Lot’s Wife Magazine 

Level 1, Campus Centre 

Monash University 

Clayton, Victoria 3800 

Section Art by Julia Chetwood 

Julia Chetwood is a 3rd year Communication Design student at Monash 

University. She’s really into acrylic paint and mixed media right now, but has a 

long list of artistic passions, which include but are not limited to: copic markers, 

0.38 fineliners, digital drawings, finger-painting, watercolours and messy collages. 

You can find more about her and her #illustrations on instagram; 

@juliachetwood or on her very own website; juliachetwood.com

Kia Ora and welcome to the second issue of Lot’s Wife this year. O-Week was crazy and successful: we 

handed out so many copies of Edition 1 that we had run out of all of the copies halfway through week 2. 

Either we misplaced a whole bunch of boxes or people are actually far keener to read the magazine than 

we thought. It has been tough fitting this around class, and our academic work has gotten off to a bit of a 

rocky start, but hey, what’s uni without completely overloading yourself and burning out at some point? 

#puttingthehotintohotmess. Chances are though, we aren’t alone. Hopefully this magazine helps you to zone 

out and escape the impending uni-induced anxiety – even if it is just for a little while. We, along with our 

dedicated contributors and graphic designers have poured our heart and soul into it and if you do happen to 

find the odd typo or spelling mistake, do the right thing and don’t point it out to us! This is our newborn baby 

and she’s just perfect (to us, at least). 

Remember we are always looking for new contributors, and so if you think you could write or draw something 

that would look pretty sweet in Edition 3, drop us a line at msa-lotswife@monash.edu or pop by our office, 

located on Level 1 of the Clayton campus centre. At least one of us is in the office most of the time. Feel free 

to write us a ‘letter to the editor’, give us a question for our Agony Aunt, or come along to one of our weekly 

writers’ meetings whenever you feel like it. The times for writers’ meetings for this semester are Wednesdays at 

2pm in odd numbered uni weeks, Mondays at 4pm in even numbered weeks. We can’t make a magazine all on 

our own, that’s where our loving community kicks in. 

Lot’s of love, 

Sophia, Rob, Nick and Emina 

2-3

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MSA Calendar 

WHATS HAPPENING AROUND 

CLAYTON CAMPUS 

MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY 

27 28 

MSA WELFARE 

DEPARTMENT 

Mondays at 7.30pm 

in Wholefoods 

-Free Food! 

TACO TUESDAY & 

TEQUILA SUNRISE 

Sir John’s Bar 

29 30 31 

THE MSA 

BREAKFAST CLUB 


8.30-10am 

Week five 

03 04 

MSA WELFARE 

DEPARTMENT 


in Wholefoods 

-Free Food! 




05 

THE MSA 



8.30-10am 

06 

07 

Week six 

10 

MSA WELFARE 

DEPARTMENT 


in Wholefoods 

-Free Food! 

11 




12 

THE MSA 



8.30-10am 

13 14 

Week seven 

17 18 19 

MSA WELFARE 

DEPARTMENT 


in Wholefoods 

-Free Food! 




THE MSA 



8.30-10am 

20 21 

Week eiGht 

design by sam allen

student affairs 

student affairs 4-5

edition two 

lot’s wife 

OBR 

Office Bearer Reports 

PRESIDENT 

MATILDA GREY 

Happy week 5 everyone! I hope you have well and truly 

settled into university life. O-Week saw more students 

than ever engage with clubs, societies and the MSA. 

Our elected representatives spoke to big crowds of 

new students, and our student theatre group MUST 

put on brilliant O-Show performances! If students 

missed their opportunity to join clubs during O-Week, 

they got another chance to do so during our successful 

Week 1 Clubs Day. Since then, we have been busy 

running Members Week, an event organised to thank 

students for joining the MSA. We put on a range of activities 

including a petting zoo and puppies, loads of free food events, a photo booth, 

face painting, a giant inflatable slide, an outdoor film and much more! We also 

promoted and attended the National Day of Action that was held on March 

22nd, a protest held in opposition to attacks on education at Monash and all 

across the country. The Women’s Department and I have begun to organise the 

launch of our sexual assault campaign. This will soon be visible throughout 

campus events in an effort to change the culture around sexual assault at 

Monash. Remember to check out our Facebook page and website to keep 

updated around all of the fantastic things we are doing for you this year! 

SECRETARY 

JESSICA STONE 

Phew! The past few weeks have been hectic at the MSA. 

With a fantastic (well at least I hope it was) O-Week out 

of the way, Semester 1 kicked off with Zest Fest in Week 1. 

Member’s Week quickly followed and the MSA brought 

you guys puppies, petting zoos, free food and a movie 

night. So what’s next on the agenda? SummerFest is 

happening in Week 3, so make sure to come along to 

the Full Moon Party!!! It’s also Education (Public Affairs) 

Week so come get your activist on! 

TREASURER 

CAITLIN BROWN 

Hello Neighborinos! I hope Semester 1 is treating everyone 

well, and that you aren’t already too far behind in your 

lectures. It feels like O-week and Members Week have 

just flown by! But hopefully you managed to stop by to 

join some clubs and the MSA, pat some puppies and 

enjoy a free snag. We’ve had some great events, and 

it’s been lovely to see everyone’s faces at our events! 

We tried out some new events this year for Members 

Week, like our Photo Booth and the “Meet your MSA 

OB’s” Radio Monash interview – shout out to them for 

being super rad, making us all feel super comfortable and 

sharing a giggle with us! It’s been great to see the all the support students have 

thrown towards the MSA, both through buying memberships and rocking up 

to our events. It makes us all the more lucky that we get to give back to such 

great students! Get aroused by upcoming events such as the National Days 

of Action!! 

EDUCATION (PUBLIC AFFAIRS) 

COREY ROSEVEAR & JULIET STEEL 

Hello wonderful students, it’s only early into the semester 

but what a fantastic beginning of the semester we have 

had. O-week began with a bang! So many members of 

our great clubs and societies wearing stickers saying 

‘I’m a part of the movement: Make Education Free 

Again’. If you didn’t get one of these feel free to drop 

by the MSA and we will be sure to get you one. There 

are also a few spare copies of the awesome ‘Student 

Made Unit Guide’ hanging around which will give you 

the insider’s perspective of what you need to know about 

your units this year like whether you need the textbook or 

who is the best tutor! We also are still taking applications to our very exciting 

Activate Monash Leadership Program which will be ran with help of some 

of the most impressive progressive leaders of Australia. If you want to get 

involved and earn some volunteer points make sure you register at www. 

tinyurl.com/ActivateMonash and help change the world! 

EDUCATION (ACADEMIC AFFAIRS) 

HARINI KASTHURIARACHCHI & RAPHAEL TELL 

Hello everyone! Uni is well underway now and we hope that 

you’re coasting along and not drowning in assessments! 

Since we last spoke, Ed-Ac has been rather busy 

continuing our work with the Academic Progress 

Committee process! Now that most of the hearings 

have come to an end, we’re compiling the issues we 

encountered during the hearings so as to provide the 

university administration with clear recommendations 

on how to improve the APC process. We hope to make 

the process more regimented to ensure that students are all 

given a fair go when it comes to determining their academic 

future. We’re also extremely excited to announce that we’ve begun forming our 

entirely student-run Academic Affairs Committee. Students from all faculties 

will alert the committee to changes and restructures happening in their 

courses, and recommend solutions to ensure students don’t get unnecessarily 

screwed over by their faculties. If this is something that interests you, please 

don’t hesitate to contact us! 

WELFARE 

NICHOLAS VIRGO & PATRICK STEPHENSON 

Afternoon all. I hope your first week back at university was 

as inspiring and innovative as all the pamphlets said it 

would be. It has been a tumultuous two weeks in the 

Welfare Department with all the ups and downs of a 

scenic railroad. Our primary project during the start of 

semester has been our classic ‘Free Food Mondays.’ Our 

menu has ranged from Thai green curries to monstrously 

cheesy pasta bakes. We’ve had lines extending further 

than 150 meters which was quite daunting, yet we 

somehow managed to feed everyone. We deemed it a 

success. In collaboration with our free food events we have 

been focusing our energy towards initiating public campaigns surrounding the 

expansion of the Asylum Seeker Scholarship as well as the decriminalisation of 

the possession of drugs for personal use. It has become abundantly clear that 

the ‘War on Drugs’ is a complete waste of time and that we need to refocus 

our energy and resources towards harm minimisation, a strategy which has 

been proven to save lives. We look forward to kicking these campaigns off and 

hopefully changing a few minds and influencing a few lives.

ACTIVITIES 

SEAN GLASS & SARAH HARRIS 

Our semester is off to a smashing start! After serving over 

six thousand sausages to hungry O-week guests as well as 

a few thousand drinks in both rain and sunshine, we’re 

excited to continue bringing food as well as excellent 

events all throughout the coming semester. Following 

the success of our sold out Trivia Night, our next 

event will be a whimsical karaoke night as another 

excellent way for you to make new friends at uni 

and have a great time catching up with friends you’ve 

already made so far. Keep an eye out on Wednesdays 

from 12 until 2 on the Lemon Scented Lawn where we will 

be having our weekly BBQ accompanied by an hour of quality live music and 

hopefully sunny daizzzz! 

INDIGENOUS 

JAYDEN CROZIER & BRYDA NICHOLS 

Hey everyone, we’d like to start out by saying thank you to 

everybody who came to Wominjeka Monash! Wominjeka 

marks the first time our university has used this platform 

during O-Week to celebrate Indigenous people and 

culture. As the MCs, we had a fantastic time hosting 

the event. It was great to work in collaboration with 

the university in making the event possible. We are 

looking forward to having more events that build 

on this initiative to further celebrate Aboriginal and 

Torres Strait Islander culture. By the same token, while it 

is brilliant to work on these efforts to celebrate Indigenous 

culture, we must also look at some of the serious issues facing the Indigenous 

community. When the Fair Work Commission handed down their decision 

regarding the cuts to penalty rates, Bryda was interviewed in studio by NITV 

regarding the impact to Indigenous workers. In particular, she talked about the 

impact this will have on students and the accessibility for Indigenous students 

to higher education. Overall, this month we took advantage of the many 

opportunities to showcase our department and the work we do. 

WOMEN’S 

SHREEYA LUTHRA & NIKOLA GUZYTE 

Hello, again! O-week was an absolute blast, and we’re 

thrilled to have met so many wonderful women! Thank 

you to everyone who helped make it (and Zest Fest) 

so successful. We’re excited about all our upcoming 

events this year, and all the ways you can get involved: 

like our Facebook page, join our Facebook group 

(search MSA Women’s Department for both), send 

us an email if you’ve got an idea for a workshop or 

discussion group you’d like to see happen, drop in to say 

hello to us in our office, or submit writing and/or artwork 

for our women’s publication: Dissent! Also, be sure to keep 

an eye on the women’s room for an amazing mural designed and painted by 

incredible local Melbourne artist Abbey Rich. We’re keen as beans to see the 

finished product ourselves! Xoxo, your faithful WOfficers

edition two 

lot’s wife 

Wot’s News? 

Jessie Lu 

Monash QS Subject Rankings 

THE QS World University Ranking by Subject 

have been released, with Monash placing 2nd 

in the world behind Harvard in Pharmacy and 

Pharmacology. In other notable areas for Monash’s 

subjects, Medicine has improved 10 positions to 

29, Nursing improved to 12 from 16, Education 

remained at 17 from the previous high of 6th in 2014 

and Law dropped 4 places to 27th. 

Monash has heralded the rankings given in 2017, 

and rightly so – however, in the Oceanic region, 

Monash still often ranks behind the University of 

Melbourne and the University of Sydney in many 

subjects. 

Overall, out of the 46 subjected listed, Monash 

placed in the top 100 in 40 subjects and top 50 

for 23 subjects, improving on 20 subjects in 2016. 

Currently, Monash also ranks 65th in the QS World 

University rankings and 42nd in the Graduate 

Employability rankings. 

Monash Vice-Chancellor appointed 

Chair of Universities Australia 

PROFESSOR Margaret Gardner, President and 

Vice-Chancellor of Monash University, has been 

appointed as Chair of Universities Australia on 

its 10th anniversary. The peak body represents all 

39 universities of Australia. The outgoing chair, 

Barney Glover has welcomed Gardner as a profound 

proponent in driving universities to become major 

player in innovation and enterprise. Her focus is on 

excellence, diversity and equity in the university 

sector as Australian universities have a significant 

role to play in research as well as the economy in 

the current climate. 

The appointment comes following 

transformative times for which the roles of 

academics and intellectuals have been heavily 

challenged and where education has become an 

indispensable asset for Australia. In the era of “post 

truth” and “alternative facts”, Universities Australia 

has warned against the derision of expertise and 

highly evidenced research 

New Indigenous Strategy 

UNIVERSITIES Australia have unveiled their 

first ever Indigenous Strategy. This will be a 

national agreement to set targets to increase the 

growth of Indigenous enrolments by ideally 100% 

above the rate of non-Indigenous enrolments but 

by the minimum of 50%. After years in the making, 

the plan is deliberately ambitious, however only 

1.6% of university students are indigenous, despite 

making up 2.7% of the working age population. 

Thus, the target, seems to be absolutely necessary. 

If these targets are met, by 2020, there could be an 

extra 6,500 Indigenous students at university. 

Monash University has a very low Indigenous 

enrolment rate of 0.28%, equating to 199 students 

out of 70,000. Retention rates for Indigenous 

students, however, are significantly higher than at 

most other universities, currently at par with the 

non-Indigenous figures. At many points throughout 

the past few years they have been even higher than 

the overall retention rate with 94.3%for Indigenous 

students compared to the 88.8% overall in 2013. 

By 2025, Universities Australia are aiming achieve 

retention and success rates for Indigenous students 

equal to their non-Indigenous counterparts and 

equal completion rates by 2028. The extensive plan 

has further goals to advance Indigenous research, 

provide adequate support to Indigenous university 

staff, and build strong relationships with their 

communities. They also plan to lead in providing 

tertiary education opportunities and pathways for 

Indigenous students, and integrate a greater level 

of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultural 

content. 

Jason Brailey, the manager of Indigenous 

programs at the Monash Yulendj indigenous 

engagement unit, he has welcomed the 

announcement of the Universities Australia 

Indigenous study. Mr Brailey sits on the National 

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander Higher 

Education Consortium (NATSIHEC) which was 

consulted during the process of forming the 

strategy. Crediting the fact that the strategy was 

developed with great input from the indigenous 

higher education community, Brailey believes it 

is therefore much more likely to be more effective. 

According to Brailey, many of the measures 

outlined had already commenced at Monash, 

particularly through the Reconciliation Action 

Plan which has been seen as a guiding document 

for the period of 2016-18. 

Brailey didn’t seemed phased by the key targets 

of the Indigenous strategy. He explained that 

although they may be good to work towards, they 

were fairly unrealistic, especially for Monash, where 

the growth of the university has been exponential. 

He said that to increase indigenous students by the 

statistics and numbers set by the strategy would 

likely be unachievable given that the support and 

admissions standards currently in place already call 

for sustainable growth of indigenous enrolments. 

Monash had already set a goal of 200 Indigenous 

students by 2020, working in raw numbers rather 

than statistics. Brailey noted that Monash has also 

already seen a 17% increase in Indigenous enrolment 

over the past year. This increase may be attributed 

to the new Indigenous Entry Scheme, introduced 

last year, which allows Indigenous students to gain 

admission into specific courses given they meet 

certain requirements, including an ATAR of at 

least 50. Monash also offers other bridging courses 

for these students, prioritising academic support 

and preparation so that students are able to cope 

with the additional rigors of university once 

admitted. Despite the tentatively successful new 

program, Brailey expressed reservation towards 

some faculties which have their own individual 

indigenous units, perhaps questioning the efficacy 

of this decentralised structure. 

Despite the new goals and strategy, Brailey 

mentioned that Indigenous students were 

successful in their own right and that the programs 

relied on the students’ engagement. 

Brailey emphasised that Indigenous programs 

at universities can’t be solely judged on statistics, 

with completion rates often lower for Indigenous 

students as he explained a large portion are 

mature age students who may have other heavy 

commitments and those who don’t take full time 

loads to ensure their success and progression albeit 

not within the expected timeframe, persay 3 years 

for an Arts degree. 

There are many factors at play when examining 

enrolment, retention and completion rates for 

Indigenous students at a university such as 

Monash. Although it is the largest university in 

Australia, it has one of the lowest catchment areas 

for indigenous students, whilst having arguably 

better intervention programs for students that are 

underperforming, such as that of the Academic 

Progress Committee hearings. 

In Australia, there appears to be a two tiered 

system in terms of enrolments and retaining 

students, which also pertains to Indigenous 

students. Universities belonging the the Group 

of Eight tend to have better retention rates than 

enrolment rates compared to universities outside 

of that grouping which potentially have lower 

admissions standards and are willing to give 

Indigenous students opportunities. However, 

the academic support and previous academic 

framework to which they are coming into university 

with may not be adequate so that they do succeed 

in their chosen course. 

There has also been a recent overhaul of the 

funding given to Indigenous programs with a 

funding pool established, the Indigenous Student 

Success Programme. This has become a resource 

which universities can draw from and allocate 

flexible funds towards their social, academic 

and financial support for indigenous students, 

which has been positively received as different 

universities will require different specific resources 

to best assist their students. 

Opening of Monash Children’s 

Hospital and Walk 

ON Sunday the 5th of March, members of 

Monash University Paediatric Promotion, Interest 

& Training Society (MUPPITS) participated in 

the 2017 Walk for Monash Children’s Hospital. 

The brand new hospital is set to finally open its 

doors this April, 4 years after the building process 

began. The hospital will have 230 beds and is only 

the second tertiary paediatric hospital in Victoria. 

This walk and fun run for has so far raised over 

$160,000 for the new children’s hospital dedicated 

for Monash Children’s. 

M-Pass Q & A 

MONASH is currently in the process of swapping 

students’ old ID to the new M-Pass, indicated by its 

disputably unattractive ‘M’ motif, incorrect photo 

aspect ratios and some photos printed so dark that 

the faces are unrecognisable. Many students still 

have yet to receive their M-Pass for a multitude of 

reasons despite the fact that Monash Connect has 

said that all of the new M-Passes have been printed, 

that each batch of cards have been sent out, and 

that the aim was for the M-Pass to have fully 

replaced the old IDs by April. Lot’s Wife consulted 

with Monash Connect to figure out some FAQ’s 

regarding the M-Pass. Here are some answers: 

What do I do if I haven’t received the M-Pass? 

Ensure you have your correct home address on 

WES as the cards are currently being printed off 

site at the Card Office (until the 3rd of April when 

Monash Connect should receive the machines and 

card stock to be able to print them). If the person 

at the old address you have on WES is kind enough 

to send it back to Monash, the card office will call 

you to then get your actual address before sending 

it out again. If not, either go in person to Monash

Connect or make a query on the form online to get 

your card reprinted and sent out again. 

Will everyone have to have both old and new student IDs? 

Yes, until security has updated all the card 

readers on campus so that the new M-Pass can be 

used to access secure buildings as the old card’s 

current primary use is to do that but is also being 

accepted as ID. New students would have also been 

issued the old ID from Monash Connect as they 

only had the card printing facilities for the old one. 

What is the point of the new M-Pass? 

There are advanced security features – we 

were told to shine a torch through the old ID and 

new M-Pass to compare the two. The increased 

functionality of the card was also a driving factor. 

Initially it is being used to link to the online library 

account to borrow books, print, photocopy and 

pay fines but there is a view that the M-Pass may 

eventually be more integrated into university life 

so that is it will be able to be used to purchase items 

on campus if the food and shop vendors jump on 

board with this idea as it has the capacity to do so. 

If my face is unrecognisable on the M-Pass, do I have to 

get a new card? 

No, it will still be accepted as ID and will be valid 

for exams, however if you would like a new card 

with a recognisable photo, visit Monash Connect 

or make an enquiry on the specific M-Pass form to 

receive a new card without charge. (Lot’s Wife does 

not guarantee that your photo on the replacement 

card will be recognisable) 

Why has the transition between cards been such a drawn 

out process? 

The primary reasons given were that it had lots 

of moving parts and required great organisation for 

it all to occur. Many processes had to be overhauled 

for its implementation, such as library systems, 

security systems for the advanced technology of 

the card to be compatible with, and that only the 

card office was printing them and sending them 

out. 

No more Moodle 

A confirmed major change to affect all students 

will be that Monash will be moving to the Blackboard 

Learning Management System (LMS) sometime 

within the next year, likely at the beginning of 

2018. The reason for the change away from Moodle 

is yet to be determined, however Taran from 

Monash Connect said that it may just be due to the 

end of the contract that exists between Monash 

and Moodle. However, Monash seems to be eager 

in updating their user experiences, so far already 

with upgraded interfaces for the My.Monash and 

eSolutions websites. Universities that currently use 

Blackboard include the University of Melbourne, 

RMIT and the University of Sydney. We can only 

hope that this time, there is a smooth transition 

and that the Blackboard LMS will not crash in 

SWOTVAC or during peak assignment periods as 

Moodle has done in the past. 

SSAF Breakdown 

WE have had an eventful few weeks recently 

on campus, with visiting puppies, the petting zoo 

and photobooth in MSA Members Week, and the 

inflatable slide and food trucks, twilight cinema 

and Full Moon Party at Summerfest. 

People may be wondering if their Student 

Services and Amenities Fee, the maximum being 

$294 for full time students based on campus is 

being put to good use. 

A history of the SSAF shows that the fee existed 

in the form of compulsory student unionism before 

2005, by where upon enrolment, all students were 

generally required to join their student union 

and pay a fee for student services and amenities 

distributed mainly towards the union and partly 

towards the university. The fee was paid even if 

the student decided to opt out of their union. In 

2005, the Liberal Howard government legislated 

for Voluntary Student Unionism (VSU) which 

abolished the compulsory up-front fees with 

the primary support base of this motion came 

from the Australian Liberal Students’ Federation. 

They argued for freedom of association and the 

financial burden that it might take on students. 

The introduction of VSU, however, was very 

contentious. 

Barnaby Joyce, a National Party senator at 

the time, crossed the floor and voted against the 

Coalition’s bill in order to protect the culture 

that existed on campus, by in large thanks to the 

union fees, wanting to save sporting facilities and 

the collegial spirit. This forced Howard to obtain 

the support of Family First as all other political 

parties at the time, including Labor and the Greens, 

were in vast opposition. This opposition included 

student unions and universities themselves, which 

not only preferred the deliverance of services and 

student cultural activities to enhance campus life 

and experiences from students themselves, but also 

saw student unions as legitimate representative 

bodies. 

During the time where VSU existed, student 

unions struggled to provide social, academic, and 

political services without guaranteed revenue 

streams. In response to this issue in 2011, the 

Labor Gillard government introduced the SSAF, in 

order to fund amenities such as sporting facilities, 

childcare and counselling and services such as 

student advocacy and support and health clinics. 

This did not ensure that all students were members 

of their student union but gave universities a 

pool of funding to which they could distribute 

themselves, in order to ensure the deliverance of 

essential non-academic services for students and 

to enhance university life through funding for 

student clubs, health and wellbeing, sport and 

recreation, and employment and career advice. 

In 2016, Monash collected a total of $9,602,756 

from the SSAF, dividing it such that 40% went 

towards the management of student associations 

and 40% towards health and welfare services 

including counselling sessions as well as the 

provision of student experience programs and 

sporting activities. More than 80% of those 

university managed SSAF funds were contributed 

to works that improved student facilities such as 

the clayton running track and Northern Plaza 

improvements, in addition to the 20% of overall 

SSAF funding already allocated towards capital 

and service improvement projects largely going 

towards students’ recreational use. 

Of the $9.6 million collected by the university 

from SSAF, on top of the $3.8 million from this 

pool given to student associations, an additional 

$2.6 million was provided by the university itself to 

meet minimum guaranteed funding levels, giving 

a total of $6,447,083 across 7 student associations. 

As set out by The Higher Education Legislation 

Amendment (Student Services and Amenities) 

Act 2011, they are allowed to provide set services 

including student representation at all decisionmaking 

levels in the university, government and 

wider community. It also includes student advocacy 

and student welfare programs, sport, debating, 

artistic and social activities, the provision of food, 

information sessions including academic forums, 

and participation in University events such as 

Orientation, Open Day and similar events, studentinterest 

clubs and societies, as well as a range of 

other services such as legal aid, all directly aimed 

to benefit students. 

The allocation of the SSAF by each university 

has strict guidelines as set out by The Student 

Services Amenities, Representation and Advocacy 

Guidelines to ensure appropriate spending on 

specific areas which cannot be for provision of 

academic service, to support political parties or to 

aid in an election of a person to a governmental 

body. The distribution must involve consultation 

between the University and various student 

representatives. Following the announcement of 

the SSAF, in December 2011 the Monash University 

Council approved that the distribution of SSAF 

funds collected by the University be allocated for 

provision of certain services as set out below. This 

has remained unchanged. 

To account for this, Monash set up the SSAF 

Advisory group in 2012. This includes elected 

student representatives to consider submissions of 

each Campus Service Council for potential facilities 

and service improvements to be funded from the 

20% of SSAF that is directly beneficial to students. 

The SSAF is an additional $294 on top of our 

already expensive university fees, however it seems 

that there are strict guidelines on how it is spent 

to directly benefit students, striking a balance 

between fostering an enjoyable campus culture 

but not inextricably linked to joining the student 

union. 

International Women’s Day 

INTERNATIONAL Women’s Day was held on 

March 8 in commemoration of the movement for 

women’s rights. The MSA Women’s Department 

marked the occasion with an outdoor movie to 

introduce the Women’s Department to anyone 

interested. They also had participants in the IWD 

rally and march in Melbourne which called for a 

wide range of requests, stemming from gender 

inequality. Monash celebrated the occasion 

through social media posts highlighting Vice- 

Chancellor Prof Margaret Gardner and Monash’s 

stance to achieve true gender equity, and Monash’s 

vision of celebrating a diverse and inclusive culture. 

Melbourne International Comedy 

Festival 

THE Melbourne International Comedy Festival 

is on from the 29th of March to the 23rd of April. 

Its comprehensive program is set to feature a 

diverse and wide range of comedians, many also 

hailing from overseas with Urzila Carlson, Ruby 

Wax, Judy Long, Richard Gadd, Tom Ballad, Wil 

Anderson, Frank Woodley and Mae Martin just a 

few highlights of the line-up. Comedic shows with 

a revolving line-up of comedians include the Blind 

Dating Show Spectacular where they participate in 

a Bachelor-esque style competition and Shaggers 

where the primary topic is sex feature alongside an 

engaging array of events such as The 28th Annual 

Great Debate, The Gala and Good Az Friday from 

the team at Triple J. Many shows are free, so if 

you’re in need of a laugh in the midst of semester, 

MICF might be the place to escape to. 

Monash has the largest 3D printer in 

the world 

MONASH has acquired the world’s largest 

3D printer from Concept Laser, a German 

manufacturer. The $3.5 million Xline 2000R printer 

is one of five in the world, the only one outside 

of Europe and the U.S. and only one available 

for contract manufacturing in the southern 

hemisphere. Amaero Engineering, a Monash spinoff 

company, is now managing the 3D printing 

initiative’s commercial prospects. Amaero will be 

showcasing their advanced 3D metal printing at 

the upcoming Avalon airshow. 

Construction, Transport and 

Parking: Wot’s the Plan for Monash? 

LOT’S Wife Campus Reporters held an interview 

with Paul Barton, Director of Business Support, 

from the Buildings and Property Division. 

We asked Paul to explain the construction 

going on outside, when it will cease, and 

how the university can justify the >> 

student affairs 8-9

edition two 

lot’s wife 

massive inconvenience that this construction is to 

students. Paul’s explanation focused mostly on the 

Learning and Teaching Building, which is due to 

be completed in Semester 1, 2018. He emphasised 

that it is going to benefit the whole university, 

not just certain departments. While the Faculty of 

Education will belong there, there will be lecture 

and tutorial rooms for every faculty in the building. 

“It will be transformative”, he says. There will also 

be informal spaces for studying and socialising 

“to keep with with the changing demands from 

students”. The lecture theatres will better respond 

to modern learning methods, with a far greater 

number of power outlets installed in each lecture 

theatre for students to use and charge their devices 

during class. Older buildings will be taken down 

with classes moved to the new building, including 

the Rotunda building. 

Paul also mentioned that the area around the 

Matheson library will be completely levelled out 

in order to make the campus more wheelchair 

accessible. 

We then asked Paul why the new Halls of 

Residence buildings, which were built about a 

year ago, included no underground carparking. He 

said the biggest reason was the cost – the money 

allocated to the halls was only enough to build the 

halls, and not extra parking. He also mentioned 

that it is because Monash is trying to encourage 

students to use public transport or bike to campus, 

rather than drive. He mentioned there will be a new 

bike arrival station at the southern end of campus, 

and Monash is encouraging students to use the 

bike-share program, which involves “attractive” 

red American-made bikes that are available for 

students to use around campus. 

When asked if there is a chance Monash would 

introduce a train station at Clayton campus, Paul 

said it would be very unlikely. He mentioned that 

having the 601 bus was an alternative to the train 

station, and while the queues are still very long, 

they are introducing more frequent buses and 

hopefully longer, bigger buses. He said that the 

articulated buses would hold 120 people instead of 

the 70 people capacity that they currently have, and 

that in the short term, PTV would allow students 

to enter from both doors of the bus, increase the 

frequency of the 601 in peak morning times with 

multiple buses following each other to transport 

students together and install the faster myki 

readers on the 601 specific buses to help alleviate 

congestion and reduce boarding times. He also 

mentioned that building a new train station at 

Clayton campus is a government issue, and while 

Monash would be receptive of the idea, the power 

is out of their hands.He said that the 601 bus has 

been having a 20% increase in use year after year, 

something completely “unprecedented” that makes 

it a “victim of its own success”. 

When asked why there was a fee with carpooling, 

Paul explained that Monash was the only university 

that didn’t have a fee attached to it, and they 

felt compelled to add one. He also said that he’s 

confident it won’t slow down the use of carpooling, 

despite an initial drop. When asked about why 

the blue permit prices continued to increase each 

year, he said that it has only ever increased from 

a consumer price index (CPI) perspective. He said 

that driving to university is simply not sustainable 

anymore, and that Monash hopes to see a greater 

diversity of transport options, more uptake in 

the Car-share program, especially for university 

residents and more people biking or taking public 

transport to campus instead. At the moment 

there aren’t a great number of places that students 

can lock their bikes, but there will be more when 

the construction is finished, a response to the 

increasing cyclists. 

Paul mentioned that the new bus-loop now 

holds 20 buses instead of 13, and Monash hopes 

to see a “turn up and go” system take place. This 

means students can simply turn up to the bus loop 

and get on the bus, and not feel like they have to 

check the timetable first. 

Campus Report 

Joanne Fong 

Wot’s New vs Wot’s the Same 

Wot’s New 

Optus store 

Popped up on the ground floor of Campus Centre 

for all your cellular and broadband needs. 

Bus Loop 

In a stunning turn of events, the renovations 

of the bus loop have been finished and are looking 

top notch (except for the construction side and the 

misspelt Caulfield shuttle bus sign) 

My.monash page 

Changed to eerily resemble a lesser version of 

Windows 10 

Learning capture 

Accessible via Moodle, surprisingly easier to 

access than MULO (for now – pending judgement) 

Wot’s Old 

Construction is everywhere. As usual. 

Renovations still ongoing to the Matheson 

library and the detours around construction are 

continuing to elongate transit times to class 

601 Bus 

As forecast, in the first few weeks of uni there 

were reports of massive lines for 601 bus which 

seem to be still ongoing in the mornings 

Parking 

The inability to find any parking even remotely 

close to classes unless arrival was before 0900hrs, 

particularly in the first few weeks 

Jaffys 

Have continued to be just as confused as ever, 

slowly finding their bearings as they settle in 

Socialists 

When you’re minding your own business walking 

through campus centre and someone approaches 

you, they’ll try make you sign up for protests when 

you all you want is to go to class/pee/be left alone. 

Fantastic Food and Where to Find It 

After the devastating closure of Campus 

essentials, Gym Chicken and Asian Grocery last 

year, as well as Joe’s Pizzeria this year (the wait 

continues for its reopening at Logan), other new 

food places have popped up in attempt to fill the 

void these have left behind. These include: 

Roll’d 

Vietnamese, located just outside Campus Centre 

near the Lemon Scented Lawns 

Subway 

Oldie but goldie, on the bottom floor of Campus 

Centre 

Secret Garden Eatery 

Quaint trendy brunch place with a wide variety 

of offerings, located at the bottom of Hargrave 

Ma Longs Kitchen 

Dumplings, noodle soups, steamed buns, rice 

dishes, all can be found in Hargrave at the bottom 

level 

If you’re up for food but not up for cashing 

out every time you want a pick me up, be sure to 

remember these times and places to find free food 

on campus: 

Free Food Mondays 7:30pm 

Dinner at Wholefoods 

Every Tuesday 12pm-2pm 

MSA Departments hold a BBQ on Lemon 

Scented Lawns 

Every Wednesday from 8:45am 

Free MSA Breakfast Club, Airport Lounge – 

outside of Sir John’s Bar 

Every Wednesday 12pm-2pm 

Hump Day BBQ on Hump Lawn 

Every Thursday night (Nott night) 

MSA Food Van at Halls of Residence 

You Know How to Cook Wot? 

How to survive up to week 12 without permanent 

emotional damage. 

Dry ingredients: 

· 2 cups humour 

· 25 tbsp. salt 

· ¾ cup of repressed rage 

Wet ingredients: 

· 3L vodka 

· 1ml chaser (soft drink/juice of your choice) 

· 1 blanket 

· 3 cups of emotional stability 

In a large bowl, add the wet ingredients to the 

dry and mix well. Add extra salt liberally as this is 

a very salty concoction. Fold in all the ingredients 

till texture is runny and thin, like the blood of your 

enemies. Place in a pan and into oven at 260 °C and 

bake till golden brown. Allow to cool then move to 

fridge and refrigerate overnight so that it is as cold 

as you are on the inside. Cut into bite sized pieces 

and enjoy.

doing everything 

we can 

article by keyur doolabh 

illustration by julia chetwood 

Ask any medical student why they decided to go into medicine, and at some point you’ll hear 

the phrase ‘I want to help people.’ Human motivation is a complex thing, but I don’t doubt 

that it’s true – most of us want to give back to the world. And on face value, medicine is a 

pretty good career for it; those same medical students will probably be involved in many lifesaving 

efforts that have earned the medical profession a reputation for doing good. 

But as well as being philanthropists, doctors are also scientists. So how much good will your 

average doctor do over their career? 

Research by the career-optimising organisation 80,000 hours shows that although doctors are 

directly involved in saving lives day-in and day-out, the marginal utility of the average doctor’s 

career is only 20 lives. What does that mean? It means that if you hadn’t chosen to do medicine 

at uni, someone else with slightly worse grades would have taken your place – that’s a safe 

assumption, given how competitive medicine is to get into. That person with slightly worse 

grades would probably have been a slightly worse doctor than you, and when you add that 

difference up over a whole career, twenty people would have died that you could have saved. 

If you chose to open a lemonade stand instead of studying medicine, twenty people would 

eventually die who would have lived. 

Now that’s nothing to be sneezed at – after all, we’re talking about twenty graduations, twenty 

loving partners, twenty contented retirements. But at the end of the day, that’s a lot less good 

than most of us like to think we do; over a forty-year career that’s one life every couple of years. 

That might make us think twice about all the sacrifices we make in the name of doing good. 

So am I saying that you should consider dropping out of medicine and open up that lemonade 

stand you’ve always dreamed of? No, thankfully there’s a way to turbocharge the amount of good 

you do with your medical career: rather than doing good directly through your work, do good 

through charitable giving. The average doctor’s salary is $105,000 ten years after graduating, and 

donating even 10% of that could make a huge difference in people’s lives without significantly 

decreasing your quality of life (and that’s a research-backed fact). 

In consideration of this, how can we grow our altruistic impact as much as possible? One way 

would be to give a higher proportion of your salary. That would be admirable, but thankfully 

there are other, less painful options. You don’t have to go into the highest-paid, most competitive 

specialties for the sake of maximising your salary, either. Perhaps the most effective way to do the 

most good is through some good old-fashioned bargain hunting. 

Let’s crunch some numbers: you could go into the most highly paid speciality in Australia, 

neurosurgery. You might decide to give away 10% of your $600,000 annual income to Guide 

Dogs Australia, which can provide a seeing-eye dog to someone for $40,000. Alternatively, you 

could decide that the slog to get into neurosurgery is too much, and pursue your childhood 

dream of opening a lemonade stand. You might earn $10,000 a year, and again decide to give 

away 10%. But rather than going for Guide Dogs Australia, you do some bargain hunting, and 

give to the Fred Hollows Foundation, which can restore sight through a $25 cataract operation. 

As the neurosurgeon, you’d help 1.5 people work around their blindness each year, but running a 

lemonade stand you’d actually cure 40 people of their blindness each year. These figures, based on 

Peter Singer’s famous TED talk ‘The Why and How of Effective altruism,’ are fairly back-of-theenvelope, 

but they’re only meant to show that with a bit of bargain hunting, you can multiply the 

impact of your giving by orders of magnitude. 

Now let’s be honest, bargain hunting is hard. It’s not necessarily that we’re lazy (though that 

could be a part of it), but maybe we just don’t know what to look for in a charity. Thankfully there 

are some fantastic organisations out there that not only find the absolute most effective charities 

in the world, but also provide fully transparent reports on how they come to their decisions. 

Givewell.org is one of these organisations, or if you think that we shouldn’t be speciesist and also 

consider giving to charities for animals, Animal Charity Evaluators is for you. 

The idea of marginal utility should make us rethink how we go about pursuing altruism through 

medicine. Doing everything we can doesn’t have to mean going the extra mile for all of our 

patients. It can be as simple as a small, regular and well-targeted donation. 

Previously featured in The Auricle. 

student affairs 

10-11

edition two 

lot’s wife 

dreaming of 

ivy league 

article by sophia mcnamara 

illustration by linda widjaja 

Have you ever thought about attending Harvard, 

Yale or Columbia, but considered it simply 

inaccessible? One student, who gained admission 

to a handful of the world’s top-tier universities, may 

just change your mind about that. His name is Jamie 

Beaton: he’s 21 years old but his game-changing 

business plan has made him worth approximately 

$40 million. Yes, I know what you’re thinking, but no, 

it’s not because his father gave him a small loan of a 

million dollars. 

How it began 

All throughout his teen years, Jamie had his heart 

firmly set on attending an Ivy League university. He 

performed in a league of his own academically, while 

taking on all the leadership and extra-curricular 

opportunities that he could get his hands on. With 

stellar high school results, he applied for about 

25 different universities in Australia, the United 

Kingdom and the United States. Despite his evident 

intelligence, these highly competitive university 

applications were not easy for him to comprehend 

as a teenager from New Zealand. He was faced with 

an incredibly complicated application process, full of 

various layers and facets to be considered. 

“It was near impossible to navigate alone” he says. 

Whilst hedging his hopes on going overseas, he felt 

increasingly concerned when many of his peers were 

unsuccessful with their first course preference, after 

following the ‘conventional’ advice they were given 

at school. In early 2013 however, one particular set 

of emails dramatically changed the following years 

of Jamie’s life. 18 year-old Jamie from New Zealand 

was accepted into every university he applied for, 

including Harvard, Oxford, Cambridge, Stanford 

and Yale. Choosing his original dream of Harvard, 

Jamie was soon on a plane to Boston for their mid- 

2013 intake. Although Jamie is only 21, he has now 

graduated from Harvard with a Bachelor of Arts in 

Applied Mathematics-Economics, and a Master of 

Science in Applied Mathematics, two years ahead of 

schedule. 

It didn’t happen overnight for him though: Jamie 

took a very focused, intensive and strategic approach 

to his course work during his schooling. Being told 

by teachers across the board that he needed to ‘slow 

down’ only inspired him to move faster. Throughout 

high school, he took ten A-level exams, which was 

more than double what most students in his year sat. 

He managed it all through very early preparation, 

and by having a lot of inspiring advisors and tutors 

helping him master the content quickly. He was 

also constantly striving to uncover new realms of 

knowledge beyond the classroom, often resorting to 

his own self-directed study beyond school hours. “I 

believe my ability to self-study was a key factor in my 

college applications and my ultimate acceptance into 

Harvard”, he explains. 

After countless weeks of confusion spent on 

mastering applications, and considering every minor 

detail, Jamie realised he couldn’t sit still any longer. 

He came up with an idea that could really shake 

things up for naïve, misled high school students 

who were constantly told to aim lower than needed, 

especially those in New Zealand and Australia who 

saw American universities as nothing but a fantasy. 

Jamie identified the need for a service, which could 

accelerate the aspirations of high school students 

to international universities. He decided to launch 

a company that could help other students achieve 

their dream: whether it was Ivy League, Medicine at 

their local university, or anything in between. He was 

sick of seeing talented, well-rounded, driven students 

told there was ‘no need’ to apply for a tertiary course 

outside their home country. 

The business 

In 2013, Jamie and his partner Shandre officially 

founded education consultancy firm Crimson 

Education. “We both put in many awesome, sleepless 

days and nights to grow Crimson to where it is today; 

operating in 10 cities and with a network of over 2,000 

tutors and mentors worldwide” says Jamie. During 

the early days of the business, while waiting for the 

American university calendar to begin mid-year, he 

kept himself very busy. He was working part time at 

an investment unit, chairing a government-funded 

organisation called YouthFund that made grants 

for youth-led initiatives, all the while completing 5 

subjects at the University of Auckland in second-year 

Maths and Economics. Jamie and Shandre invested 

all the money they had at the time, which was only 

several hundred dollars, for some initial website 

subscriptions and a company registration. Once 

Jamie established the Crimson team in New Zealand 

and soon after Australia, he divided his focus across 

his Harvard studies and in 2016, graduated from a 

double degree before gaining admission to further his 

study with a Masters of Business Administration at 

Stanford. “It has been a crazy, rewarding journey so 

far”, he says. 

While Ivy League universities have a notorious 

reputation for being only accessible to insanely 

privileged students, Crimson takes on clients who are 

very far from the elite upper-east-side of New York. 

They aspire to help students realise their potential 

by assessing their candidacy, and then connecting 

them with tutors, mentors and consultants who can 

set them on a clear path to achieve their academic 

and career goals. Jamie says that they “see students 

achieve what they never thought was possible, to the 

point that the landscape of opportunities they can go 

on to achieve in their life is fundamentally reshaped”. 

When Crimson gets a student from Camberwell into 

the University of Pennsylvania, or from rural New 

Zealand to a full scholarship at Duke University, it’s 

nothing short of a complete game-changer for the 

individual, their family, and their community. Despite 

the stereotypes around these prestigious universities, 

and the exceptional help Crimson offers them, Jamie 

still insists that a lot of the success his clients achieve 

is self-driven. “Obviously, circumstances that are 

beyond your control can have a large impact on your 

life, particularly in self-realisation, motivation and 

psychological development” he states. “However, I 

truly believe that the ability to self-motivate and 

persist through hardships can help you overcome any 

number of circumstances and help you succeed.” 

Despite what many might think, Crimson 

understands that most students can’t afford to pay 

the cost of a non-subsidised tertiary degree. But, 

many of the universities Crimson’s clients aim for 

don’t require students to have a lot of money. In the 

case of Harvard, for example, “no American college 

is more affordable”. At Harvard, parents earning 

less than $65,000 USD annually are expected 

to contribute nothing. “Admission is based on 

relative performance with consideration of your 

environment” says Jamie. The college also specifically 

states that “wherever you are from, whatever your 

citizenship, applying for financial aid will not 

hinder your chances of admission”. Crimson seeks to 

overcome these misconceptions about prestigious 

universities and bring the focus away from money 

and back to nurturing student talent, regardless of 

socio-economic background. Crimson also provides 

financial aid that any student can apply for. It is 

means-tested and merit based, so families can qualify 

for subsidies or free tuition. They’ve also launched 

free online platforms such as ask.crimsoneducation. 

org and hub.crimsoneducation.org, which are a 

big part of their focus. They emphasise that it is 

merely a widespread misconception that Ivy League 

universities are financially inaccessible, as institutions 

like Yale and New York University award nearly all of 

their students with scholarships. “A reason Harvard 

is so competitive is because they have hundreds of 

millions available in financial aid, for students who 

get in but can’t afford it” Jamie explains. 

Jamie’s advice 

Crimson is now providing students with the service 

Jamie always needed but never received. Accordingly, 

he says that the most basic and accurate business 

advice is to simply find a problem and solve it. 

“You need to find a problem that affects a niche 

market, and work out how to meet that demand 

by solving the problem” he says. After that, “agility 

and responsiveness to change is essential”. He 

particularly emphasises that you need to focus on 

your differentiated contribution to the world. “Kickstarting 

your business will require a lot of time, effort 

and sleepless nights, it can be an exhausting journey.” 

He says that for a disruptive business to grow and 

thrive, you must accept and embrace making ripples 

in the industry you are tackling. “If you aren’t creating 

ripples, you aren’t innovating hard enough!”

From his own experience, Jamie realised that what you study, how 

you study and your intensity of study is incredibly important for 

setting you on a rewarding career path. “It can also help you seize 

additional personal development and growth opportunities in the 

early stages of your life”, he adds. He believes that self-motivation 

and hard work simply play the most pivotal role in a students’ ability 

to excel at university and maximise their potential. “I understand 

that it can be hard to pursue beyond the standard curriculum 

as you’re often told you’re taking on too much, or that it’s not 

necessary, but choosing to be curious beyond the standard syllabus 

can only do you good” he explains. To Jamie, being passionate about 

what you’re studying is vital. “Once you realise the area of study that 

you are passionate about, it becomes so much easier to excel and 

realise your maximum potential.” 

If Jamie could say anything to his younger self, it would only be to 

have more confidence in his ability, and to trust his own judgment. 

“Trusting your ability and your own judgment is vital in growing 

as a person and can help you uncover new passions that will fuel 

your desire to succeed.” Jamie explains that it’s so easy to become 

the victim of the ‘tall poppy syndrome’ that plagues communities 

in Australia and New Zealand. “It’s so easy to just coast through 

secondary school and university without shaking the status quo 

or putting yourself out there by risking failure for the chance of 

a big reward” he says. Once he began trusting his own judgment, 

his confidence and conviction grew. “The whole process of life and 

education is like a marathon: you need to have the right motivation, 

the persistence, the endurance and the strategy.” 

Through global expansion and careful investment, Crimson is 

worth approximately $205 million today. While he has earned an 

impressive amount financially, unlike most students, there are 

no parties or holidays happening any time soon for Jamie. All his 

capital goes straight back into growing his business so Crimson can 

continue to unlock the potential of more students each day. Jamie’s 

lifestyle can be summarised in three of the words he frequently 

gives as advice: work insanely hard. “Taking the path less travelled 

is hard work, really hard work – but the end result can make it all 

worthwhile”, he summates. 

Jamie’s success not only inspires students all around the globe to 

aim higher than they’ve ever been told, but it also proves that Ivy 

League dreams are for more than just the ‘elite’ members of society. 

At the end of the day, Harvard doesn’t need any more student 

money. They’re far more interested in your brain, and what change 

you can bring to the modern world. 

----- 

Many thanks to Jamie Beaton and the whole team at Crimson Education for 

making this article possible. For more information on Crimson Education, 

visit crimsoneducation.org. 

Jamie at his graduation 

student affairs 12-13

edition two one 

lot’s wife 

how to be a super broke 

uni student and survive 

article by chulani jithma kaluarachchi 

Food 

Even low cost restaurants can get expensive if that’s where you’re 

eating most of your meals. The more you eat in, the more you save. 

Stocking your room with microwavable foods can provide quick, 

inexpensive alternatives. Buy yourself a massive bag of frozen 

vegetables. Then get some rice (sometimes it is cheaper than 2 

minute noodles). Invest in some soy sauce. Eat the home brand oats 

for breakfast each morning. Drink lots of tea. People will ask what 

your bikini body diet is and you will just be able to laugh. The ‘Uni 

Student’ will be the go-to diet of any runway model soon enough. 

And guys… trust me, there will always be free food on campus. There 

has not been a week in my university life so far where I haven’t been 

able to locate some form of free food. Whether it’s a barbecue for a 

club or free food Mondays, there will be free food on campus. 

Always remember rent money 

Put rent money first in your budget. You may be able to get away 

with a few days without going grocery shopping but you won’t be 

able to go a few days without paying rent. Your landlord will be less 

forgiving then your refrigerator. 

Clothing 

With some patience, you can buy clothing at thrift stores for no 

more than ten cents on the dollar. Buy your clothes when they are 

going out of season. Wait until it is the end of the season and get 

it at half the price. There are many cheap ways to get clothes. If 

nothing works out, there are tonnes of good clothes in the survival 

centre (1st floor – Campus centre) that anyone can take home for 

free! 

Transportation 

If you use public transportation, consolidate your trips so you don’t 

need to use it so much. Fewer trips will mean fewer fees paid. And 

even if you have a car, use the campus shuttle as much as possible. 

The more you do, the less gas you’ll need to pay for. 

Go to the library 

Whether it’s your university library or your town library, go there. 

If you can scrimp and not pay for an internet connection for your 

apartment/townhouse/shoe box, you will probably save $80. Plus, 

libraries aren’t that bad or boring. Free books. Free magazines, good 

Wi-Fi, cute people, what’s not to like? 

Ditch the credit card 

There are two problems with credit cards: 

1/ You’re likely to spend more by using them 

2/ The bill that comes next month, plus interest! 

When we pay with credit cards it doesn’t quite feel like we’re 

spending our own money, perhaps because until the bill comes in we 

aren’t! In that situation, we’re tempted to give ourselves the benefit 

of the doubt when we’re not sure we can afford something, meaning 

we’ll buy it now and trust that we’ll be able to afford it later. But 

when you’re a university student, later is never better! Pay cash for 

what you need, and the credit card balance will begin to drop each 

month, freeing up more cash for current expenses. 

Find a part time job 

Don’t just find a job, but one that will either complement your 

course schedule or help you prepare for life after university. If you’re 

more ambitious, or have greater need for income, see what kind of 

work is available in your field of study. This is also a way of thinking 

long term. The earlier you can begin working in your chosen 

field, the greater the advantage you’ll have over other students at 

the point of graduation. It can be the simplest kind of work, but 

sometimes just having the name of a relevant employer on your 

resume can be a huge advantage. 

Go part time for a semester or snag some financial aid 

Sometimes the answer to your money problems is to take a 

temporary breather. By cutting your school schedule back to part 

time for a semester or two you’ll free up your time to work. In 

addition to having more time to earn money, the reduction in your 

course load can cut back directly on uni-related costs enabling you 

to save even more money. True, it will extend the time you’ll be in 

uni overall, but it may also be a pause that refreshes you for the 

final push. From a financial standpoint, university is often a matter 

of muddling through; of finding ways of doing a lot with very little. 

It can seem like an uphill fight, but it may help to realize that the 

budgeting skills you’re leaning along the way will be among the 

best skills you’ll acquire in university. Get creative and embrace the 

effort! 

At the end of the day… 

You probably won’t be swimming in cash for a while just yet. The 

birthday wish lists you send to your parents will consist of better 

quality hair products, clean underwear and an order for this week’s 

groceries. You will have a life crisis because you can’t afford a 

hair dresser to give you a trim so you will consider risking doing 

it yourself. Let’s face it, you will bottom out your bank account, 

but you will gain mad budgeting skills and a whole lot of “life 

experience.”

politics/society 

politics/society 14-15

edition two 

lot’s wife 

international volunteering: 

selfless or selfish? 

article by devika pandit 

illustration by julia thouas 

Australians like to work hard and travel harder. 

Combining travel and volunteering is the go-to 

solution for young Aussies who wish to kick back 

responsibly. 

However, this seemingly beneficial practice is 

plagued with a few problems. The quest to ‘uplift’ 

downtrodden communities through development 

volunteering programs raises many ethical concerns. 

I believe this trend disguises several biases, which 

expose the contested nature of international 

volunteering. 

Volunteering is traditionally a philanthropic activity 

that many regard as civic duty, accompanied by terms 

like ‘altruism’, ‘egalitarianism’ and ‘giving back to the 

community’. 

However, in the past few decades, there has emerged 

a simultaneous trend of development volunteering, 

predominantly of an international character. This 

is an activity wherein “civic conscious and morally 

upright citizens expend their time and resources 

in a foreign country with the aim of creating social 

change”, explained my friend, after a volunteer 

teaching program in Siem Reap, Cambodia. 

I was not satisfied with his explanation. Teenagers, 

greenhorns at life, embarking on international 

programs promising to ‘make a difference’ and be 

‘agents of change’ – could it really be that simple and 

straightforward? 

Upon more probing, Patrick recommended Student 

Volunteer Placements International (SVPI), an 

Australian volunteering organization offering 

placements in Nepal, Myanmar and Cambodia. He’d 

enjoyed living in wi-fi serviced dorm accommodation 

and teaching English language in local schools. It was 

an unforgettable experience, visiting scenic hotspots 

and updating his Instagram with generic shots of 

locals. Patrick was successful in his application owing 

to an important criterion – a passion for ‘having fun, 

exploring and experiencing village life’, as mentioned 

in the SVPI Handbook. 

This account fits in with the definition of 

‘voluntourism.’ The combination is geared towards 

fulfilment of the donor and donees’ needs – as 

ingrained by different media. I think otherwise. 

Voluntourism is a convenient guise for economizing 

development volunteering. University students, 

for example, are subject to heavy application fees 

to enroll for programs like the one in Siem Reap. 

However, there is much to gain. ‘Cultural exchange’, 

an impressive resume and marvellous photos! I 

question the ethical nature of this activity. 

Firstly, I believe international volunteering programs 

do not provide a wholesome local experience 

for student volunteers because the latter are far 

removed from realities of the host country. Hostel 

accommodation, Wi-Fi, bottled water, these 

‘necessities’ dictate that students leave behind a 

comfortable lifestyle in Australia to engage with 

the local community in developing countries in a 

comfortable manner. 

This process is notoriously described as ‘challenging 

and eye-opening’ when in fact all the student has 

done, is learn traditional cooking and handicraft work. 

I hence view international volunteering as a paradox. 

There is no attempt at blending with the locals, which 

aggravates the unspoken divide between them and 

superiorly placed student ‘visitors’. 

Moreover, this draws attention to a critical but 

often ignored theme in international volunteering 

– cultural imagery. Development-speak employs 

a casual tone for phrases like ‘First World donors’ 

or ‘Third World recipients’ that encourage implicit 

cultural imagery – First World (white) citizens as 

experts and therefore saviours of helpless Third 

World (brown) masses. I think this leads to a heavy 

downplaying of local capabilities and overestimation 

of volunteers’ skill sets. 

I recently came across a friend’s Facebook post 

advertising 40K Globe Internship Program, popular 

with the Australian university cohort. The pictures 

made me wish I’d grabbed the opportunity, but upon 

thinking some more, I laughed at my ignorance. 

Students from prestigious schools and universities, 

with no experience or training whatsoever, traveling 

to Indian villages for rural empowerment are often 

revered by their hosts as capable of ‘uplifting’ the 

impoverished through donations, seminars and street 

plays. 

This privilege is not granted on the basis of expertise, 

a finding generated by Volunteer and Services 

Enquiry Southern Africa (VOSESA) about host’s 

perspectives of development volunteers in Southern 

Africa. Hence, I believe it is unethical to exploit this 

privilege by offering to help another without knowing 

how to do so. It promotes the idea of university 

students as possessing the expertise to embark on 

international programs and lauding them as effective 

‘agents of change’. Rarely do volunteering programs 

insist upon any formal training, which is necessary 

when a cross-cultural exchange is expected. Popular 

programs like AISEC too, do not include any prior 

training in relevant fields. 

Hence, it is primarily a matter of power bestowed 

upon students from developed nations, perhaps 

through the winning combination of a privileged 

color in the racial hierarchy, and financial security. 

This power is superficial. To assume that a group 

of 18-year-old students are well equipped to deliver 

lasting change in a Third World country – is 

problematic. This not only elevates students to a godlike 

position in the host country, but also undermines 

local capacity and resources, suggesting progress 

as attainable only through international funding/ 

volunteers, regardless of the latter’s motives, training 

or expertise. 

I substantiate my views through a relevant example. I 

recently encountered an English Teaching Fellowship 

Program (ETF) in Colombia, a joint initiative of 

the Heart for Change and the Colombian National 

Ministry of Education. This program is open to all 

students who possess a Bachelor’s degree in any field, 

but the only prerequisite for teaching English is to be 

‘fluent in English, preferably native speakers’. 

This puzzled me for two entirely different reasons. 

One, the explicit partiality towards native English 

speakers who are automatically elevated to the 

level of ‘teaching experts’ owing to origins from 

an English speaking country. I strongly believe 

that English language or any other for that matter 

cannot be taught as a hobby in a casual manner. It 

is a responsibility to equip another with a popular 

medium of communication. Therefore, I consider 

it unethical to trivialize this responsibility by 

permitting anybody to be a teacher, that too based on 

their colour and race. 

Secondly and more importantly, I question the 

long-term impact of such programs, as to whether 

any successful development has been recorded 

through such activities. Having gathered volunteer 

program data from several friends, I propose that 

such programs attempt to revolutionize a society 

and resolve its issues in short spurts and with 

minimal effort. Volunteers are often unaware of 

these details and many tend to use the opportunity 

as ‘voluntourism’ in a self-indulgent manner rather 

than intended development volunteering. From this 

viewpoint, it seems that programs are ingeniously 

designed to benefit First World ‘donors’ while status 

quo remains unchanged for Third World ‘recipients’. 

The overriding problem continues to flourish – 

volunteers sacrifice a privileged lifestyle for a short 

while to empower the host nation, more often than 

not a developing country. They graciously dissociate 

themselves from the prestige and power bestowed 

upon them by their ‘developed’ culture. They engage 

with the host culture in a manner most lopsided and 

imbalanced, and shortly return home, labelling the 

experience as one creating social change. 

Although this does not conform to what would be 

regarded as morally and ethically correct actions, such 

considerations are not entertained because ‘as long as 

we are gaining, there is nothing to lose’.

in crisis: the greens must 

strive for electoral success 

article by jordan mosley 

illustration by hugh brooks 

In December 2016, the Greens unexpectedly tumbled into the media spotlight 

as reports surfaced that a radical-leftist splinter group, ‘Left Renewal’, had 

materialised in the party’s New South Wales branch. Billing itself as ‘a socialist 

tendency comprised of rank-and-file, NSW Greens members’ the faction’s 

manifesto openly calls for the end of capitalism. It was labelled as a system of 

‘perpetual violence’, and noted that ‘violent apparatuses’ such as the police ‘do not 

share an interest with the working class’. 

Since its inception, the new faction has caused a great deal of internal havoc in 

the NSW Greens, including but not limited to: bringing sourness into internal 

preselections, invoking the ire of old party icon Bob Brown, and assaulting police at 

one of Sydney’s anti-Australia Day rallies (Left Renewal member Hayden Williams 

was charged last January). Lee Rhiannon, Greens senator for NSW, has defended 

the presence of Left Renewal, saying that the faction’s aims were consistent with 

Greens principles, and presented ‘a legitimate contribution to political debate 

in the party’. Current Greens leader Richard Di Natale, on the other hand, has 

suggested that the group “find a new political home” and labeled its position on 

capitalism a “ridiculous notion.” 

Apart from the juicy revelation that yes, like the Libs or Labor, the Greens can 

also suffer the plague of ideological and factional turf-war, this internal saga in 

many ways signifies a deeper anxiety and confusion over the role and direction 

of Australia’s third party. While Left Renewal is not typical or representative 

of the Greens nationally, its presence does challenge Senator Di Natale’s bright 

proclamation that the Greens are now Australia’s ‘natural home of progressive 

mainstream voters’. This was the kind of mantra that attracted me to the party in 

early 2014, months after the election of Tony Abbott, before I left two years later 

(but that’s another story). 

Over the past fifteen years, the Greens have effectively evolved from a single-issue 

environmental party into an all-encompassing humanitarian leftism, projecting 

its social-activist platform into issues as diverse as climate change, asylum seekers, 

LGBT rights, public health care, and social housing. In doing so, the party has gone 

from marginal to mainstream, winning the support of middle-class, inner-city 

voters who had defected from Labor. The Greens took advantage of the vacuum 

left behind by the demise of Australian Democrats, whose vote was quietly and 

naturally absorbed. Due to this, the Greens have achieved considerable electoral 

victories, currently holding nine seats in the federal Senate, one federal Lower 

House seat (Adam Bandt in Melbourne), as well as winning 10 percent of the 

national Lower House vote at the last federal election, representing nearly 1.4 

million voters. State lower house seats have also been won in Victoria and New 

South Wales, with the party currently holding two and three seats respectively in 

these States’ Parliaments, mostly clustered in inner city Melbourne and Sydney. 

While for many years it has looked as if the Greens were an exponentially 

increasing force, capable of infiltrating territories once safely held by Labor and 

the Liberals, growth has not been a completely even or successful journey across 

the board. This was most visible at the last federal election. The party’s strategy to 

win lower house seats and return its senators in Victoria and NSW. In Melbourne, 

the Greens did not pick up any new lower house seats, but did come close in the 

seat of Batman, where candidate Alex Bhathal achieved a 9.5% swing, narrowly 

losing by a 1% margin against Labor’s David Feeney, a massive improvement from 

the 10% margin in 2013. Large swings were also recorded in Wills, Melbourne Ports, 

and Higgins, with the Greens in some cases jumping ahead of Liberal and Labor 

candidates to become the second largest party. By contrast, in NSW, attempts to 

seize the seats of Grayndler and Sydney proved dismal, as the Greens’ candidate for 

Grayndler, Jim Casey, failed to increase the primary vote above the 22% recorded at 

the previous election, leaving high-profile Labor MP Anthony Albanese in relative 

safety. Results were similarly discouraging in the Senate, as Senator Lee Rhiannon 

took 7.91% of the statewide vote, compared to 10.87% taken by Richard Di Natale in 

Victoria. What went wrong? 

The answer to NSW failure and Victorian success lies in the differing campaign 

approaches, candidate selections and policy promotions that were used in 

Melbourne and Sydney. In Melbourne, the party has promoted itself by taking a 

moderate and cooperative tone, spruiking the achievements of Melbourne MP 

Adam Bandt. On his website and in campaign materials, Bandt has prominently 

emphasised his achievements in passing so-called ‘Denticare’ legislation, which 

enabled lower and middle-income families to access dental treatment through 

Medicare. During this time, Bandt also won concessions from the Labor Party 

which established a climate change committee that later imposed a so-called 

‘carbon tax’, which was later repealed by the Abbott government. While these 

concessions have had varying degrees of success, they do point towards a view of 

Green politics that seeks social change through compromise and cooperation with 

the two major parties. 

Across the border in NSW, the Greens candidate for Grayndler Jim Casey, became 

embroiled in a number of ideological gaffes. He claimed that he would prefer 

right-wing Tony Abbott as prime minister instead of Labor’s Bill Shorten, as the 

former would provoke a more aggressive social justice movement that would 

include “an anti-war movement that was disrupting things in the streets… and a 

climate change movement that was starting to actually disrupt the production 

of coal.” Writing in the Guardian, Casey viewed capitalism as a system that was 

likely “to collapse under its own weight”, insisting that the system is built on the 

‘“equality and misery of a vast majority of the working people”,a dead giveaway for 

Left Renewal sympathies. The point here is not whether Casey is right or wrong. 

What is at stake here is the appeal of such sweeping rhetoric to mainstream voters, 

which largely alienates many moderate-minded people. A while back, I remember 

talking to a multiple-time Greens candidate at a party fundraiser, who showed a 

great passion for tackling climate change. “I wouldn’t be in the Greens if I were 

in NSW,” he said, in reference to the radical elements present in Sydney. Another 

Greens candidate, described ‘Left Renewal’ as “mad.” With such opinions floating 

within the Greens, one can only wonder how the party’s far-left could possibly 

appeal to the wider voting populace. Election results speak for themselves. 

Which brings us to the future of the Greens today. Should they protest and stick to 

strict, radical principles, or compromise and go for electoral success? By now, the 

answer should be blisteringly obvious. While Mr. Casey and his ilk are entitled to 

their views, one must question how blanket statements on the evils of capitalism 

and ‘the system’, which call for the tearing down of myriad ‘institutions’, could 

possibly be desirable to small business owners, pensioners, or tradespeople; or the 

people who scan your groceries; or, for that matter, anybody who falls outside of 

Sydney’s hard industrial-left. While Left Renewal may call it ‘protest’, I would call 

it ideological purism, an attempt to give the Australian public a revolution no 

one even asked for. People open to voting Green are interested in strong public 

hospitals, a decent tariff for the solar panels on their roofs, and legal same-sex 

marriage, issues I heard raised when I sat at Sunday market stalls. If Left Renewal 

wants to pursue any meaningful social change, it should seek the reform of 

institutions, the law and society, not its destruction. But to give them some credit, 

the faction actually is succeeding in destroying one institution: the NSW Greens, 

and by extension, itself. 


edition two 

lot’s wife 

a love letter to a 

lost america 

article by ben caddaye 

illustration by lucy zammit 

Dear America, I think it’s time we sat down and had a talk. 

I know you’ve been going through a lot lately, what with the slow decline of your 

middle class and a veritable maniac as your new democratically elected leader. But 

lately I’ve come to realise that we’ve drifted apart and I’m beginning to think that 

we’re no longer right for each other. 

It’s become clear that you’ve changed. Perhaps I’ve changed the way I look at you. 

Once upon a time, I gazed upon your timeworn shores with fondness and found 

courage in your moral righteousness. I can still remember the first time I heard the 

poetic words of Emma Lazarus inscribed on the Statue of Liberty… 

‘Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame, 

With conquering limbs astride from land to land; 

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand 

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame 

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name, 

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand 

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command 

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame. 

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she 

With silent lips. Give me your tired, your poor, 

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, 

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. 

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, 

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!’ 

These words accompanied my ascension in the world. When I was born, I was filled 

with an exuberance that can only come courtesy of youth. I looked out into the 

world and saw you as my mentor. I looked at your Federation and it inspired mine. I 

remember when I was vulnerable, with Japan on my door. It was you who came and 

stood steadfast by my side. Since then I’ve followed your lead, and together we’ve 

gone into Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf, Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria. It has cost me deeply, 

and the scars of war still play on my memory. But I had always thought that it was 

for the betterment of our pursuit of liberty. 

You were born out of a struggle for freedom. Your first statement to the world 

was bold – a declaration that all are created equal and are endowed with certain 

unalienable rights, among these life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It was 

these ideals that inspired my actions and the actions of other nations around the 

world. In following your lead, it was for the benefit of our shared ideals and in 

furtherance of freedom and democracy; or at least that’s what I thought. 

Lately you’ve changed the way you speak, the way you act. You’ve shut yourself off 

to those who, in a different time would have found refuge in your open embrace. 

Your minorities live in fear, ostracised and paraded as criminals for the God they 

find comfort in. When you attempted to bar the entry of peoples based on their 

country of origin you lost your moral credibility. What scares me even more is that 

the social progress you’ve made is diminishing. 

You’re failing to respect the bodily autonomy of women, revoking the fundamental 

freedom to decide whether or not to have a child. The passage of Act 45 in 

Arkansas sickens me to my core. 

The hard-fought civil liberties of your people of colour are being violated. Kids 

are growing up today in fear of the police that are supposed to protect them from 

violence, not perpetrate it. When the poverty rate for people of colour surpasses 1 

in 4, you know something is terribly wrong with your system. You’ve closed your 

golden door. Your status as leader of the democratic world is in doubt and I fear 

that this is only the beginning of your descent inward and away from what used 

to define you. 

Your actions lately have made me reflect greatly on the things we’ve been through 

together. Now that I’m seeing a different you I realise it’s been there all along – I’ve 

just made excuses for it.

Your nation was born in a time of abhorrent slavery where the subjugation of other 

human beings was lauded for its economic benefit. Even though you came out of 

the civil war determined to end the practice, I don’t feel as if you’ve ever fully come 

to terms with your past. The injustices of the practice still lives in your society. 

You haven’t made steps to come to terms with the genocides of your founding, 

and you’re still abusing your Native population. Native Americans, Alaskans and 

Hawaiians figure as large percentages of your prison system even though they are a 

small part of your population. 

I admit I was naive. I only have to look to Iraq where it’s impossible to overlook the 

deaths of 150,000+ innocent civilians. I can’t deny we had a hand in those deaths. 

Casting my gaze back further I am again horrified in the role I played in the half a 

million civilian deaths in Vietnam. That’s been on my conscience for quite some 

time and I don’t think I could be a part of where your new America is going. You’re 

still bombing innocent people in Syria, Yemen, and Iraq. Those aren’t the actions of 

a nation that believes in ‘life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.’ I can no longer 

hold my head with pride and declare that standing with you is for the betterment 

of all when all I see when I gaze back is a trail of devastation and loss. 

As you focus inward, stepping back from your role as the leader of the international 

order I hope I have the courage to do the opposite. I’ve grown up. I can’t ignore 

the fact that I’ve developed a vibrant multicultural soul, welcoming people from 

all over the world with the declaration that I am the sunburnt land of the fair go. 

Threaded in my fabric is the toil of those wanting a better life, and the solemn 

belief that what defines me is not origin, complexion, language or culture. What 

defines what I am is the celebration of diversity. It’s part of my narrative, and I can’t 

partner with a nation that works to reject it. I’m far from perfect., I’ve got a lot of 

work to do on myself. I still have to make things right with my traditional owners, 

I still torture kids in juvenile prisons like Don Dale and by God I have to close 

the fucking detention camps. But I’m hopeful that perhaps I can regain my moral 

standing. 

I’ve been in love with the idea of you, rather than what you really are. I think for 

me to continue to grow we need to take separate paths. You’ll always hold a special 

place in my heart, but I must forge my own way forward. 

Love your long-time friend, 

Australia. 


edition two 

lot’s wife 

let’s talk about 

youth homelessness 

article by sachetha bamunusinghe 

illustration by mohan lei 

Melbourne is a great city that we should consider 

ourselves lucky to live in. However, the harsh reality 

is that Australia isn’t the lucky country for every 

young person. Youth homelessness is a serious issue 

that affects approximately 26,238 young people 

Australia-wide. Sadly, this topic seems to be largely 

forgotten in many ways. It is important to be aware 

and generate discussion around the issue. 

Youth homelessness is caused by many factors 

including family breakdown, violence, unemployment, 

mental health issues, alcohol and/or drug issues 

and poverty. These causes are present in the 2008 

documentary film The Oasis, which focused upon the 

lives of homeless youths staying in a housing centre 

in Sydney. The documentary explored individual 

stories of each youth, who due to a difficult past, were 

eventually forced to leave home. The loss of social and 

emotional connections with family and friends, along 

with housing, food, water and basic services, further 

exacerbated their descent into homelessness. 

This issue is one that stems globally, with youth 

homelessness increasing in developing countries. 

Even though the causes of homelessness in 

developing nations are mostly similar to developed 

nations, developing nations generally have graver 

influencing factors such as significant periods of 

poverty, low standards of living and rural to urban 

migration. Moreover, the attitude towards this issue 

varies in different nations depending on political, 

social, cultural, religious and economic values. In 

some developing countries, gathering data relating to 

homelessness is non-existent due to the significance 

and broad prevalence of the problem. 

As the complexities of youth homelessness differ 

in various countries, so do the approaches taken. 

However there are two main standpoints to consider. 

Firstly, a proactive approach to prevent the causes 

of youth homelessness. This includes increasing 

affordable education, family services as well as health 

and rehab facilities and employment opportunities 

to better prevent homelessness from occurring. 

In particular, education that focuses on academic 

aspects, health, family violence, alcohol and drugs, 

is key in substantially preventing individuals from 

falling into serious issues. 

Secondly, a reactive approach can be taken to assist 

those already in the cycle of homelessness. This can 

include access to affordable housing or government 

housing that not only provides individuals 

accommodation and safety, but also an actual 

address to reference when looking for employment. 

Additionally, a co-ordination of social services that 

provide important resources and necessities should 

be increased. Non-governmental organizations or 

non-profit organizations are particularly important 

in supporting areas that may not receive enough 

government assistance. 

As young people, we have the power to instigate 

change. The following are a number of admirable 

organisations that rely on support to deliver 

invaluable services to the community. There are 

numerous non-governmental and non-for-profit 

organizations in Melbourne looking for volunteers or 

even just a simple donation. 

Salvation Army Melbourne Project 614: An organization 

which provides support by supplying meals, clothing 

and counselling, as well as pathways for training, 

volunteering and employment. Many volunteer 

opportunities are available including the Marketplace 

where you can assist in customer service duties in a 

supermarket, Hamodava Café where you can order 

and serve food and beverages for disadvantaged 

communities, and the AMP 614 Youth Bus which 

involves preparing food and socializing with other 

young people. 

Crêpes for Change: A non-for-profit crêpe van created 

and run by young people. The crêpe van is present 

at numerous markets, festivals and events, where 

money made from each crêpe goes towards initiatives 

tackling youth homelessness. Volunteers are required 

for van procedures such as making crepes and 

running the till. As a van volunteer I can confirm it 

is also great fun! There is also the new mobile coffee 

cart that can cater for any sort of event. Barista and 

crêpe training is provided! 

Lighthouse Foundation: An organization providing 

homes and services to homeless youths suffering from 

long-term neglect and abuse. Each Lighthouse home 

provides the safety, counseling and guidance for 

young people to assist in creating a future pathway 

away from chronic homelessness and disadvantage. 

Opportunities include the Community Committees, 

which involve providing support mentoring, practical 

help and fundraising for a Lighthouse home. 

Volunteers are also required for assisting with events 

and administration. 

Sacred Heart Mission: An organization providing 

services and support to disadvantaged communities, 

including homeless youths. Volunteers are required 

for Op Shops where you can develop customer service 

skills and help raise funds for services, such as the 

Our Meals Program, which involves serving meals at 

their main dining hall. Also, volunteers to help with 

reception, administration and event fundraising are 

needed by the organization. 

These are just a few of the volunteering opportunities 

available in Melbourne. Spending a few hours of your 

week helping out organizations is a great initiative if 

you’re interested in discussing and tackling the issue 

of youth homelessness. So get out there and give it a 

go. Get involved!


edition two 

lot’s wife 

illustration by keely simpson-bull

science/engineering 

science/engineering 22-23

edition two 

lot’s wife 

what major should 

you choose? 

words by science & engineering sub-editor team 

illustration by lin rahman 

Sitting in class stressing 

about your major? 

Worried about the most 

important choice in your 

degree that will literally 

definethe rest of your life? 

Well your friendly Science 

& Engineering Sub-Ed 

Team have created a 

simple flowchart to help 

you decide.

what’s the matter 

with antimatter? 

article by isaac reichman 

illustration by john henry 

We see symmetry in nature all the time. At our 

scale, almost every species on earth has some form 

of external body-plan symmetry; notable exceptions 

exist, the flounder fish. But the symmetry of objects 

extends into natural processes and even fundamental 

physics principles. One such symmetry arises with the 

property of matter known as charge; a rather abstract 

notion that we can understand as a driving principle 

behind circuitry and chemistry. But, questions as 

to why the most basic components of nature have 

the charges they do and what the significance of 

charge is are the questions that are on the minds of 

physicists. An experiment conducted by The Alpha 

Collaboration published in Nature earlier this year 

sought to expound on and explore these questions. 

First, however, some background. 

In 1928, a young physicist, Paul Dirac, developed an 

equation that married Einstein’s Special Relativity 

– the theory of the very fast, with Schrodinger’s 

quantum wave mechanics – a description of the 

fundamental nature of matter. His goal was to 

produce an equation that accurately describes the 

quantum behavior of matter at high speeds. But 

Dirac had outdone himself; not only did the equation 

seamlessly blend special relativity with quantum 

mechanics, but it made unexpected predictions. 

In the same way that the square root of 4 is both 

positive 2 and negative 2, when solving his own 

equation for the electron, Dirac found that there were 

two energies for the resulting particle – one positive 

and one negative. Instead of discarding the negative 

solution, Dirac supposed that it may represent a 

different particle, one with characteristics identical 

to the electron in every way with the exception of 

one – its charge. Thus the solutions to the equation 

are a negatively charged antiproton and a positively 

charged positron. The notion of antimatter was born. 

Following this, Dirac’s idea was treated as being an 

artifact of the mathematics. That is, until antimatter 

was discovered four years later in 1932. 

Since then, the last 85 years have seen an incredible 

amount of knowledge and application as a result of 

the discovery of antimatter. One such example is 

our current understanding of radioactive decay, in 

particular beta-radiation, in which either a proton 

or neutron transforms into the other, producing an 

antimatter particle. This property of the decay is 

actually exploited in a modern medical technology 

– positron emission tomography, or P.E.T. scanning 

for short. 

Whilst we’re at it though, an aside. Beta radiation, 

when you hear about it, can seem as if its reasoning 

is pulled out of thin air. It turns out that its cause, is 

actually due to a fundamental physical force known 

as the weak interaction. The weak interaction is one 

of the four fundamental mechanisms for change in 

the universe, and can cause an interchange of matter 

with antimatter as well as altering the constitution of 

protons and neutrons. There’s some modern physics 

for you. 

Oh, and in case you’re curious, when normal matter 

and antimatter engage with one another, they 

undergo a friendly process known as annihilation 

and are converted into pure energy in a quantum 

explosion. In fact, on the same trail of logic: if matter 

and antimatter create pure energy, can the reverse be 

said? Astonishingly, the answer is yes! This is actually 

the main method of antimatter production; we pump 

enough energy into a vacuum or fire it at an object 

and the result is a plethora of matter and antimatter 

particles. When this happens with an electron and 

positron spontaneously in a vacuum, it is known as 

pair production. 

We’ve already established that the only difference 

between particles and their respective antiparticles is 

their charges. We also know that atoms are composed 

of positive protons and negative electrons (with 

most having neutral neutrons for stability), making 

them neutral overall. So it stands to reason if we 

just flip the charge of every constituent – protons to 

anti-protons etc., then the overall properties shouldn’t 

change –because the atoms don’t have total charge 

anyway. So here are the real questions: is the logic 

right, does anything change? 

Now we’re equipped to talk about the experiment. 

One of the most well-understood systems in all of 

physics is that of the hydrogen atom: composed of a 

proton and an electron. But a classic way of probing 

hydrogen is to give the electron some energy and see 

how it responds. The goal of the experiment was to 

determine whether or not anti-hydrogen responds 

the same as normal hydrogen. Due to the obvious 

issues in handling antimatter, the anti-hydrogen 

must be created, contained and experimented on 

in very creative ways. First, the basic ingredients 

must be made in a particle accelerator. Then, the 

anti-hydrogen was cooked up by combining its preprepared 

ingredients: an antiproton and positron. 

It was then trapped and contained in a magnetic field 

so that it wouldn’t interact with anything made of 

matter. In order to determine its response to light, 

the antihydrogen was stimulated with a laser and its 

response recorded. 

The results were rewarding and found an identical 

response to light from anti-hydrogen as they found 

from hydrogen. As far as interactions with matter 

and antimatter go, the experiment found light 

doesn’t seem to care which is which. This is a big step 

experimentally into understanding the fundamental 

symmetries of the universe. 

But here’s the rub: why is there more matter than 

antimatter in the universe, and why are we made of 

matter? We look out at the cosmos and see galaxies 

and stars only composed of one. We know this is 

true because otherwise there would be annihilation 

constantly and we could see its effects. Perhaps it’s all 

antimatter and we’re the only matter. But that raises 

more questions of its own and answers less of ours. In 

any case, this is a big problem in modern astrophysics 

and cosmology. Had the experiment shown a 

different response to light from anti-hydrogen we 

might have an inkling; but no cigar. Every day we 

understand antimatter and its properties better both 

experimentally and theoretically. Its origins and 

seeming lack of ubiquity on the other hand? Right 

now it’s a matter of speculation. 


edition two 

lot’s wife 

apathy and 

urgency 

article by lachlan liesfield 

illustration by carly patterson 

June 5th, 2013, The first reports of the National 

Security Agency’s (NSA) mass surveillance 

programs were released to the public. You heard 

about it, of that I am certain. You were outraged, 

disappointed, yet maybe unsurprised. But at that first 

moment of confirmation, you were worried. You used 

incognito mode every time you browsed, thinking 

it might do something, you cleared your cache and 

history, and wondered if something you’d looked 

up would leave you with some unwanted attention. 

More allegations emerged about the US government 

spying on its citizens, though they got less and less 

coverage. By the time a month had passed, the effect 

of the leaks on you had faded. You’d forgotten. Your 

interest had waned. Though for some the effects are 

far from over. They are not ‘out of sight, out mind’ like 

they might be for us. 

Residing in Russia after having been granted 

temporary asylum there –which has recently been 

extended to the year 2020, Edward Snowden, a 

champion of U.S intelligence transparency continues 

to promote issues of privacy and anonymity. 

Still he constantly involves himself in live video 

conference talks in every corner of the world, 

including in Melbourne where he spoke last May. In 

conversation with Julian Morrow of Chaser fame, 

Snowden reiterated to the audience that powers of 

Australian Intelligence services are now “much more 

unrestrained than they are in the United States, 

despite how dire the situation is there”. The respected 

outsider acted more or less as a light through the fog, 

reminding us of what is happening right in front of 

our eyes. 

Snowden reaffirmed for his audience that there have 

been some successes from his actions three years ago. 

In the United States, the requirement for the Foreign 

Intelligence Surveillance Court (FISC) to approve or 

deny surveillance requests was established. The Email 

Privacy Act, which would prevent general acquisition 

of private emails, was introduced as a bill to the 

United States Congress and the specific NSA program 

Snowden’s leak exposed has since been shut down. 

But there have been failures too. The FISC did not 

deny any requests last year; the Email Privacy Act has 

stalled in the US Senate. In Australia, public outrage 

has not been matched by policy. Under the National 

Security Legislation Amendment (2014), increased 

penalties for disclosing information about security 

operations were introduced –the legislation applies 

to both those within and outside of the intelligence 

community. This had the effect of making it harder 

for whistle-blowers and journalists to bring such 

material to light. Where was all the fuss kicked up by 

both the media and the public when it was passed? 

Why do we look away in the first place? I wonder if 

reading it now might change anything. 

It is often hard then to feel as if any progress is 

being made. But there are small steps. European 

responses were more wholehearted, though still 

lacking, with a general wave of condemnation from 

European governments. Importantly, there was a 

German investigation into strategies to prevent the 

re-emergence of mass surveillance. But equally they 

have dawdled on implementing any actual measures 

to do this. 

In the final days of his administration, President 

Obama commuted the sentences of many prisoners, 

including Chelsea Manning who was convicted of 

espionage in 2013. During his presidency, however, 

the rules for data sharing between the NSA and 

other intelligence agencies were loosened. This 

meant that all the excessive personal data collected 

by surveillance programs will continue to be in the 

possession of the Federal Government of the United 

States. While Obama’s commutations set some 

precedent – though nothing formal, for the treatment 

of whistle-blowers, the issues raised by them and the 

need to protect whistle-blowers like them seem to 

have receded from any real scrutiny. 

Australians have largely dismissed the Snowden leaks 

as a rather irrelevant, foreign problem. We cannot do 

that with the Panama Papers, released in mid-2016. 

Major Australian companies such as NAB, ANZ and 

BHP Billiton were named in the papers, alongside 

Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull – although he 

himself was not implicated of any wrongdoing. Such 

allegations are something we must acknowledge and 

confront. 

These are merely a few of many leaks that continue 

to be reported about and subsequently forgotten. 

There were ‘The Drone Papers’, published by The 

Intercept. These papers detailed how people end up 

on US kill lists – though the leaks themselves have 

not been without due criticism. Furthermore, there 

were many other leaks published by the International 

Consortium of Investigative Journalists, concerning 

deaths and displacement in Zambia and the 

Democratic Republic of Congo by Australian mining 

interests. 

All these stories have come and gone, already bowing 

out of the spotlight, often with limited public impact. 

Do you remember seeing it on television? Do you 

remember it as trending news? As a top rated post? 

Why do we forget so quickly? These sorts of crises 

are now a constant. It seems as if every week, 

there’s another story breaking. We are forced to 

discard them so quickly just to keep up with what’s 

happening next. From leaks, to wars, to elections 

and administrations, there is so much news we 

don’t have the time to understand its gravity or its 

consequences. 

Even now, we regularly follow leaks of questionable 

ministerial spending by the Federal Government, 

with new accusations of wrongdoing emerging 

almost daily. How about the explosive reports 

coming from the United States regarding Russian 

interference in their presidential election? 

Is it that we toss aside any information doesn’t 

immediately affect us? Surely not, because responses 

to the actions of government wrongdoing both here 

and the US have been vivid and immediate. We do 

watch each other’s backs, though not necessarily 

for long enough. It is doubtless that governments 

and corporations will continue to act illegally and 

uncompromisingly to serve their own interests. But 

we cannot allow the existing voter apathy to evolve 

into ‘corruption apathy’, in essence the normalisation 

of these revelations after we’ve spent our collective 

outrage. Every morning it seems we can wake up to 

another story that would have been unthinkable a 

year ago. With an extended public push, not only 

just when these issues arise but instead until we see 

a resolution, perhaps then we would be able to unite 

together in a fight for greater political transparency, 

integrity, and legitimacy.

do patterns of social 

media use reflect 

personality traits? 

article by ambrose moore 

The number of worldwide social media users is expected to reach 2.5 billion by 

2018. Whether an individual’s personality can be accurately reflected in their use 

of social media has been examined and discussed by many researchers over this 

period. Prior to research being done on this topic, it was widely assumed that an 

individual’s personality and their use of social media were not necessarily distinct 

from one another, but due to inconsistencies, an individual’s social media use 

cannot reliably predict that individual’s whole personality. Through the analysis 

of some research studies into whether an individual’s ‘Big Five’ personality traits 

(extraversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness and neuroticism) can be 

accurately predicted through examining their use of social media, it is evident that 

there are in fact reliable and quantifiable correlations between patterns of social 

media use and these Big Five personality traits. The results suggested that, rather 

than escaping from or compensating for their offline personality, Online Social 

Networking site (OSNs) users appear to extend their offline personalities into the 

domains of OSNs. 

The article ‘Manifestations of personality in online social networks’ used 

two studies; self-reported Facebook-related behaviors and observable profile 

information, examining how personality is reflected in OSNs. The study revealed 

several connections between the Big Five personality traits and both self-reported 

Facebook-related behaviors and observable profile information. Extraversion was 

not only positively related to self-reported frequency of Facebook usage (Study 1), 

but also engagement in the site, with extraverts (vs. introverts) leaving observable 

traces of higher levels of OSN activity. However, the validity of the conclusion may 

be questioned, as they have only looked at Facebook-related activity, thus reducing 

the ability to generalize across all OSNs. 

In contrast ‘A tale of two sites: Twitter vs. Facebook and the personality predictors 

of social media usage’ examined how the Big Five personality traits, along with 

Sociability and Need-for-Cognition, affect an individual’s informational use of 

the two largest OSNs: Facebook and Twitter. Although the methods of each study 

differed, the results showed congruence. That is, both studies reported that the 

total number of friends a user has correlates significantly highly with extroversion. 

However, the results attained by these two studies may not be reliable as they did 

not take into account the effect of what may be considered confounding variables, 

such as socio-demographics and life satisfaction, gender and age. 

The results from a similar study ‘Who interacts on the Web?’ revealed that 

while extraversion and openness to experience were positively related to social 

media use, emotional stability was a negative predictor. These findings differed 

depending on gender and age. While extraverted men and women were both 

likely to be more frequent users of social media tools, only the men with greater 

degrees of emotional instability were more regular users. The relationship between 

extraversion and social media use was particularly important among the young 

adult cohort. Conversely, being open to new experiences emerged as an important 

personality predictor of social media use for the more mature segment of the 

sample. 

Another study ‘The relationship between personality traits and social media use’ 

utilised similar methods, comparing not only how the Big Five personality traits 

affect someone’s use of social media, but how income, gender, education and life 

satisfaction play a role as well. However, the results show that only two personality 

traits (conscientiousness and openness to experience), two demographic attributes 

(education and income level) and life satisfaction are significant predictors of 

social media use. The relationship with the other factors explored were not 

significant. 

However, if we consider ‘personality’ as the definition of a person’s ‘full character’, it 

encompasses an individual’s age, socio-demographics, gender, level of income and 

life satisfaction. This is because the Big Five personality traits within an individual 

are influenced by such other factors over their lifetime. 

Another study ‘Self-presentation and belonging on Facebook: how personality 

influences social media use and motivations’ examined the relationship between 

the Big Five and the use of Facebook to fulfill belonging and self-presentational 

needs, by allowing participants to complete a survey assessing personality and 

Facebook behaviors and motivations. ‘Personality, gender, and age in the language 

of social media: the open-vocabulary approach’ looked specifically at how 

someone’s personality affects their use of language over social media producing 

data that stimulates a comprehensive exploration of language that distinguishes 

people. 

In the studies ‘Social network use and personality’ and ‘Predicting personality with 

social media’ the self-reporting of subjects was replaced by more objective criteria; 

measurements of the user-information uploaded on Facebook. In comparing the 

publicly available information of a social media user to their Big Five personality 

traits, the article ‘Predicting personality with social media’, claimed to have 

shown that a user’s Big Five personality traits could be predicted from the public 

information they share on Facebook. This was suggested following the results that 

key correlations existed between positive emotion words (e.g. love, nice, sweet) and 

agreeableness. More friends correlated with more extroverted people (although, 

these extroverts tended to have scant friendship networks). These methods provide 

a straightforward way to obtain personality profiles of users without the burden of 

tests, and this will make it much easier to create personality-oriented interfaces. 

Social media has come to dominate today’s methods of communication resulting 

in a radical alteration in consumption patterns, as social media allows consumers 

to interact readily with other individuals as well as commercial entities. Producers 

may seek to investigate what kinds of people shop online for what kinds of 

products in order to advertise their products more effectively. In addition to 

this, Human Resource Management is always investigating the personalities of 

job applicants to ensure that the right people are employed for the right job. A 

significant amount of research has sought to answer the same question: ‘can an 

individual’s personality be reflected in their social media use?’ 


edition two 

lot’s wife 

Science News 

Science/Engineering Sub-Editor Team 

Submerged Landmass Zealandia a 

Candidate for Continent 

ZEALANDIA, a region that is two-thirds 

the size of Australia in the southwest Pacific 

Ocean, is a step closer to being recognised as 

a continent. It covers a nearly 5 million square 

kilometre area that centres on New Zealand 

and encompasses New Caledonia, Norfolk 

Island, the Lord Howe Island group and 

Elizabeth and Middleton reefs. 

The area is believed to have once been a 

part of Gondwana – a supercontinent which 

made up the majority of landmasses in the 

Southern Hemisphere. However, 94% of the 

landmass sunk below sea level between 60 to 

80 million years ago. 

A paper published in the journal of the 

Geological Society of America -reportedly the 

first robust, peer-reviewed scientific paper 

to define and describe Zealandia, contends 

it is distinct enough to constitute a separate 

continent. 

Source: Geology Society of America Today 

What’s the Buzz? Bees Can Learn 

New Tricks 

BUMBLEBEES have displayed surprising 

cognitive flexibility in a recent study 

published in Science. This ability to learn 

means that, despite their small brains, certain 

species of bees could develop completely novel 

behaviours in response to environmental 

pressures. 

The bees were tested in a task that involved 

moving a ball to a goal for a reward after 

a demonstration. It was found that bees 

completed the task quicker if they first 

observed a live or model demonstrator. 

Bees were also able to solve the task more 

efficiently than in the demonstration. Unlike 

the demonstrator, when given a number of 

balls to choose from, the bees used the ball 

closest to the goal. This occurred even when 

the demonstrator’s ball colour differed from 

the ball chosen. 

Source: Science 

WHO Top 12 Bacterial Threats to 

Human Health 

THE World Health Organisation (WHO) 

has published a list of antibiotic-resistant 

“priority pathogens” that pose the greatest 

threat to human health. This catalogue of 12 

families of bacteria aims to address growing 

global resistance to antimicrobials by 

promoting the research and development of 

new antibiotics. 

The listed bacteria are resistant to multiple 

antibiotics, can develop resistances to new 

treatments, and pass along genetic material 

for other bacteria to become drug-resistant. 

The WHO list divides these bacteria into 

three categories, according to the need for 

new antibiotics: medium, high and critical 

priority. 

The criteria for compiling the list were: 

the deadliness of infections; long hospital 

stays required for treatment; frequency of 

antibiotic resistance; infectiousness; ease of 

prevention; treatment options remaining; 

level of research and development of new 

antibiotics. 

Source: World Health Organisation 

Brain Scans Spot Autism Signs in 

High-Risk Babies 

MRI brain scans can adequately forecast 

autism spectrum disorder (ASD) diagnoses in 

‘high-risk’ babies whose siblings have autism, 

according to a US Infant Brain Imaging Study. 

In the study, researchers scanned the brains 

of 106 ‘high-risk’ infants at age 6, 12 and 24 

months. They found that ASD diagnoses and 

behavioural signs of autism in ‘high-risk’ 

babies could be correlated with faster than 

average brain growth 8 out of 10 times. 

These findings could potentially be used 

as an ASD diagnostic tool as neither genetic 

nor behaviour diagnosis methods have been 

successful. However, this research cannot 

yet be applied to a general non-‘high-risk’ 

population; a larger study replicating the 

results needs to be conducted before findings 

are conclusive. 

Source: Nature 

Facts are a Bit Woolly on the Woolly 

Mammoth Resurrection 

A Harvard genetics team has spliced 45 

mammoth-like edits of DNA into the Asian 

elephant genome using the gene-editing 

tool Crispr. This has been widely reported 

alongside headlines saying woolly mammoths 

could be ‘de-extinct’ in two years. 

These headlines are based off a quote 

from Harvard geneticist Prof George Church 

during an American Association for the 

Advancement of Science annual meeting. 

Church said his team was aiming to produce 

a hybrid elephant-mammoth embryo, an 

elephant embryo with mammoth traits. He 

speculated that it could happen in a couple 

of years. 

The research project at its current stage has 

no plans to resurrect a mammoth. The project 

has two goals: using mammoth genes to save 

the endangered Asian elephant and helping 

to fight global warming. 

Source: The Guardian, New Scientist, Medium 

Earth’s Deepest Ocean Trenches are 

Highly Polluted 

ACCORDING to a discovery published in 

Nature Ecology and Evolution, deep ocean 

trenches, six to eleven kilometres below the 

surface, are 50 times more polluted with toxic 

and industrial chemicals than river systems 

in China. The pervasiveness of pollution 

suggests better management and monitoring 

of these environments are needed. 

The study analysed tiny deep-sea 

crustaceans and found that even the deep-sea 

wilderness is impacted by human degradation. 

It also showed a strong correlation between 

the level of pollution on the surface and deepsea 

waters. 

The investigation was conducted by a team 

of Scottish researchers on the world’s deepest 

marine trenches: the Mariana Trench in the 

west Pacific Ocean above Australia, and the 

Kermadec Trench near the north-eastern tip 

of New Zealand. 

Source: ABC 

illustration by nicole sizer

arts/culture 

arts/culture 28-29

edition two 

lot’s wife 

student theatre: 

the MUST have 

article by dylan marshall 

In a fractured digital landscape, live theatre seems obsolete. It 

does not offer the convenience and on-demand nature of Netflix, it 

does not promote a rewatchable or sharable experience and it does 

not always provide a particulaly palpable piece of entertainment. 

Instead theatre offers something different; a singular moment, an 

artistic flair that burns both brightly and swiftly, yet continues to 

smoulder within the minds of its respective audience. Theatre can 

be a heart wrenching, personal experience, a comic amalgamation of 

Shakespeare’s work or a rock musical about mental illness. Theatre 

may not be similar to other popular mediums, but that does not 

mean it is irrelevant, in fact it could be seen as essential because of 

this very reason. 

At Monash, the requirement and need for such a medium can not be 

underestimated. The Monash University Student Theatre (MUST) 

provides an outlet for self expression, whilst also promoting relevant 

discourse in regards to issues facing the world today, a fact that the 

theatre’s Artistic Director, Yvonne Virsik, believes contributes to the 

program’s success. 

“[Theatre]'s a form in which we can uniquely investigate what it means 

to be human, tell great stories and provoke discussion and awareness of 

political issues. At university, it provides a great resource for encouraging 

conversation, increasing social awareness and knowledge of other cultures 

and lifestyles and for experimentation with new technologies and artistic 

forms.” 

Such a form of cultural expression involves a lot of student 

involvement. Even individuals who choose not to act can still 

expand their skill set in other areas of the theatre. The director of 

MUST’s forthcoming musical (Next to Normal, which opens in late 

May), Stephen Amos, describes this oppurtunity and community 

best. 

“In first year, student theatre was an amazing way of helping me find my 

feet, and do something that I was passionate about, alongside my studies! 

Most of all though I think it's the whole community and groups of people you 

meet and make connections with that really make it so worthwhile. I think 

MUST really has something for everybody too, whether it's seeing a show, 

working on one backstage, getting to know a new role in an assistant stage 

management position, or being on stage as an actor!” 

Besides the roles Amos lists, students can also light stages, direct 

performers, plan and build sets, promote shows, photograph theatre 

events and even develop sound design. There are so many different 

areas for creative minds to truly thrive within MUST and refine 

their own abilities, as well as learn new ones. Skills such as these can 

not be taught in a lecture hall or in a tutorial, they are talents that 

are nurtured and fostered within a practical environment. Justin 

Gardam, the director and writer of MUST’s next upcoming piece, 

the tentatively titled Late Show (running from the 7th to the 13th of 

April), summarised this point, stating: 

“Student theatre challenges you. It fosters the sort of mindsets and practical 

problem-solving you’ll need to thrive in your industry, whether it be theatre, 

commerce, or medicine. It gives you great collaborative skills. It pushes you 

out of your comfort zone, and gives you the confidence to take risks, fail, fail 

a few more times, and finally succeed.” 

Many of MUST’s other directors have reiterared similar thoughts on 

how the student theatre was integral to their development as artists, 

allowing them to take forward steps in the theatrical landscape 

and thereby inject fresh blood into a dying industry. In some ways 

MUST provides an art institution that is both ingrained within the 

university, but is also part of a far broader branching industry. As 

Virsik descibes: 

“MUST is a vibrant feeder of the arts sector in Australia. Scratch the surface 

of a company and you'll find ex-MUSTers influencing our culture and 

heading the surge for exciting, responsive, innovative projects.” 

Since the removal of the Bachelor of Performing Arts degree, 

Monash has been lacking in hands-on, practical courses for arts 

students, however MUST has supplied an avenue for creativity, 

whilst also connecting students to possible contacts within the 

industry. Such a resource is invaluable to Monash students. The 

director and co-writer of MUST’s O-Show 2017 and last year’s Jamie 

and the ATAR, Fraser Mitchell, has gone so far as to establish his 

own company, T Minus Theatre, by utilising the skills he learnt at the 

student theatre. 

“MUST provided me with a supportive environment and me the opportunity 

to apply my skills. I value that more than anything. My new show, Jamie and 

the Asynchronous Temporal Atomic Reverberator, was originally developed 

at MUST and we went through a lot of shitty drafts before we found the 

show we liked. Those first mistakes were essential to the show's creation and 

we wouldn't have been able to make those mistakes without student theatre.” 

Mitchell’s musical comedy, aimed at high school students, will be 

on at the Metonoia Theatre as part of the Melbourne International 

Comedy Festival. 

As aforementioned, another inviting element of Monash’s student 

theatre is the importance placed on self-expression. For many, one’s 

university life represents a transitional period from reliance to 

independence and in such a state it can be difficult to unearth one’s 

purpose, passions and even identity. It’s easy for these factors to be 

shaped by our actions, but the people we surround ourselves with 

can also construct them. MUST offers both of these fundamental 

building blocks of the self, through the supportive community 

and the near unlimited opportunities to flex, often neglected, 

creative muscles. The director of the Awakening remount (at 

fortfivedownstairs in May), Daniel Lammin, contributed much of his 

success in the industry to these factors. 

>>

“I started studying theatre at Monash planning on becoming an actor, but 

if it hadn’t been for MUST and the encouragement and support of that 

community, I wouldn’t have discovered that my love and skill in directing 

was even greater. I couldn’t have done it without their support, which is 

part of the reason I’ve come back to make work with MUST so often and 

to mentor the next generation of theatre makers they’re fostering. I feel I 

owe that to them for everything they gave to me. Their importance to me is 

part of who I am as a theatre maker, and their importance to the Melbourne 

theatre community as a whole is impossible to calculate.” 

Lammin went so far as to commend MUST for their guts and 

faith in his projects, which hints at the limitless approach adopted 

towards self-expression within the community. However, this 

attitude is not consistent throughout all areas of the industry, with 

companies struggling to pay larger casts outside of the popular, 

westernised musicals. This flaw within the wider industry highlights 

what could be the most underrated and important parts of student 

theatre, the students. These are individuals who bring enthusiasm, 

creativity and a unique voice to an industry that is struggling to 

keep its foothold within public popularity. It’s this youthful energy, 

which results in brilliant, unrefined creations, skyrocketing the next 

generation of theatre makers into innovative and original projects. 

Helena Dixon has experienced this effect first hand, allowing her to 

build confidence and even step up to direct MUST’s stage version 

of Frankenstein (running from the 11th to the 20th of May), thereby 

helping her to contribute to the culture that she has truly flourished 

in. 

“MUST provides this fantastic space for a bunch of really weird, wonderful 

and talented students to come together and share in a common passion. It's 

provided me with a place to learn and grow in ways completely different 

to what I've learnt from my degree. Especially as a science kid, it has been 

my main creative outlet, which I will always be thankful for. And honestly, 

because of the people I've met through student theatre I'm a lot stronger 

and more confident in my abilities both inside and outside of the theatrical 

sphere.” 

The constant difficulties faced when justifying theatre’s relevance 

is probably best explicated and directly tied to the texts of 

Shakespeare and whether they still have a place within our society. 

Niamh Percy, the director of Monash Shakespeare Company’s (MSC) 

first semester’s show, The Complete Works of Shakespeare: Abridged, 

still thinks there is great value in the bards work. 

“To many people Shakespeare is something they have to tolerate at high 

school and never deal with again. I think this is such a sad attitude; 

Shakespeare can be so exciting and different - as Monash Shakespeare 

Company has started to prove! Shakespeare has done so much for our 

culture and language, enriching the modern day more than most realise. It's 

important to appreciate that I think!” 

Her show, running from the 27th of April to May 6th, aims to shift 

this attitude by combining all 37 of Shakespeare’s plays into one 

90-minute piece of hilarity. The second semester show, directed by 

Gina Dickson, takes a different approach by interpreting Taming 

of the Shrew, one of the bard’s more controversial comedies, into 

an empowering piece for the modern day woman. Both of these 

interpretations perfectly encapsulate the importance of student 

theatre, as they provide social commentary and entertainment out 

of 400-year-old texts. 

Without MUST or the MSC theatre would not have it’s same 

potency or risk-taking abilities, these performances project the 

voices of a generation and breath new life and new interpreatations 

into the Australian art sector. Through innovation, creativity, 

passion, experiementation, failure and community; student theatre 

breaks new ground, questions normality and reignites the flames of 

a dying, but undoubtedly necessary cultural medium. 

To get involved in the MUST or MSC Season: 

- Sign up for the MUST e-bulletin via the web site: msa.monash.edu/must 

- Like the MUST and MSC Facebook pages 

- Check out the info and audition sign ups in the MUST corridor 

- Come see the shows! 

- If you are desperate to get involved in a specific crew role, make an 

appointment via email with MUST's Artistic Director, Yvonne Virsik: 

yvonne.virsik@monash.edu 

arts/culture 30-31

edition two 

lot’s wife 

oscar bait: why the 

oscars are overrated 

article by nick jarrett 

illustration by rachelle lee 

Annually, the Academy Awards return to centre stage for film enthusiasts and 

fashion diehards across the world. The awards bring all of our favourite celebrities 

with them, igniting storms of gossip over seemingly budding relationships, 

outrageous fashion designs and the occasional tid-bit of debate over the awards 

themselves. Yet despite the glitz and glam that surrounds the ceremony, the Oscars 

have consistently failed to select the most deserving nominees and winners of 

various categories, favouring popular sentiment over the most dynamic and artistic 

films. 

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences bears the annual burden of both 

nominating and selecting the winner from the pool of films that qualify yearly. 

With more than 7,000 members, the voting for the nomination is split into sections 

(i.e., actors can only nominate actors and not directors) whereas the voting for the 

winner is polled from all members regardless of your occupation. This method, 

whilst arguably one of the best for all award shows, is intrinsically flawed. 

Take last year’s ‘Academy’s Whitest’ award night, where the show and members 

were criticised for not selecting people from different ethnicities. The hashtag 

#OscarsSoWhite became a trending Twitter topic and boycotts were staged by 

numerous actors and filmmakers. In response, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & 

Sciences culled its previously much larger membership, in an attempt to diversify 

nominations. In doing so, they also took the opportunity to change the system of 

voting, creating a system to favour a ‘consensus’ best film, rather than a simple 

‘most votes’ scheme (only voting for Best Picture has been changed so far). 

When the Academy looks to determine the winner of the Best Picture race, they 

first check to see if one film has over fifty percent of the number one votes (voting 

is from one to six). In the probable likelihood that no film has a majority, they 

eliminate the film with the fewest number one votes, even if they were to have 

the most cumulative votes overall. They then take the number two votes on those 

ballots, and reassign them as number one votes. If one film then has more than 

fifty percent of the number one votes, it becomes the winner. If not, the process 

continues until one film has over fifty percent of the votes. In this method, the 

Academy is potentially forgoing the overall votes in return for what has been 

described as an Electoral College-like system (and we know how well that can turn 

out). Surely the film with the most accumulated votes should be the winner? 

Among other issues plaguing the Oscars, there is also the incredible lack of 

consistency with the awards. American Hustle in 2013 was nominated for ten awards, 

including all six major categories (Actor, Actress, both Supporting roles, Best 

Film and Director). It failed to win even a single award. Yes, maybe that speaks to 

individual performances above all else, but how can a film so highly rated in all ten 

diverse nominations not win a single award? Whilst, I do not necessarily believe 

the film deserved to win Best Picture, or the other categories, the logical flaws are 

evident when something is so widely acclaimed and nominated and yet fails to 

win over films with fewer nominations. 

Take Martin Scorsese’s filmography as another example. Despite his film Taxi 

Driver being recognised by the US Library of Congress as ‘culturally, historically 

or aesthetically’ significant, it lost the Oscar for Best Picture to Rocky, and failed 

to win a single award in its year of contention. How can something so culturally 

significant and revered be so overlooked? Scorsese was was not even nominated 

for best director. Seemingly, the awards mean little in retrospect, with numerous 

award winners being overshadowed by those which failed to win. Similarly, 

Scorsese’s Best Picture win came with The Departed in 2006. Whilst, no doubt an 

entertaining movie it lacked the artistic qualities of fellow nominated films such as 

The Last King of Scotland or Letters to Iwo Jima. 

Not only this, but to even be in contention for an Oscar, a film must be globally 

marketable. What independent, arthouse film manages to reach the same scope 

of audience as one that is backed by a well-known production company and 

containing box-office bankable stars? It cannot possibly hope to compete, leaving 

the awards cycle full of only those films which contain the same generic formulae: 

star power, massive production companies and deep pockets for marketing. Would 

a film like The Revenant have been as widely released had Leonardo DiCaprio, 

Tom Hardy and Domhnall Gleeson not starred? Probably not. Would it have then 

garnered enough attention to win the awards? Definitely not. To win an award, a 

film needs this global recognition, which means smaller budget and more artistic 

films are often left unrepresented and forgotten in ceremonies like the Academy 

Awards. 

In light of the recent Oscar ceremony and the low-budget film Moonlight winning 

Best Picture, I do acknowledge that there are exceptions to this rule, yet the 

dominant narrative still plays out in favour of star-powered films. 

Even further, how are we categorising what a ‘Best Picture’ even is? As I have 

suggested, the Oscars do not typically select the most artistic films, and don’t 

get me started on foreign films, which are largely ignored in the main categories 

(with a slight exception for Elle this year). So what is the best film? Should the 

‘best’ not be the film that the most people enjoy and flock to see? Star Wars: Rogue 

One, or Captain America Civil War, or Finding Dory all topped the box office in 2016. 

Yet we ignore the fact that these films have been the most successful by global 

attention to focus on slightly more artistic films, and yet only include the bankable, 

Hollywood films that fall into the category of semi-arthouse productions. There 

is an underlying discrepancy in the way that the award shows – particularly the 

Oscars – operate, allowing them to pick various films that in no way meet either 

two main categories for success (artistic measure and financial success). 

The Oscars are fun, they are bright and they do provide some direction into 

popular and entertaining films that contrast with the box-office-powerhouse 

superhero genre. Let’s just not hide from what they are: a bright and loud way of 

annually showcasing some good films and performances – just not always the 

year’s finest.

arts/culture 32-33

edition two 

lot’s wife 

‘the political is personal’: an 

interview with judith buckrich 

article by evangeline yong 

The second wave of feminism, the civil rights movement, the 

election of Gough Whitlam in 1972. These are socio-political 

triumphs that seem increasingly distant to us, lost in a labyrinth 

of penalty cuts, Donald Trump and political disillusionment. It is 

for this reason that Judith Buckrich’s life and memoir, The Political 

is Personal resonates so powerfully with our generation. 

The Political is Personal is a memoir of a life lived daringly, at the 

intersection of turbulent but thrilling periods of history. Judith 

Buckrich contextualises her private experience within the 

framework of events that forged a resurgent, post-World War 

society and shaped her own journey as a writer, historian and 

political activist. Vulnerable, wise and witty, Buckrich’s narrative 

is a challenge to complacency and cynicism, a reflection of the 

author’s own extraordinary personality. 

So it is with a sense of trepidation that I walk through the 

streets of Prahran, lined with sleek boutiques and snug cafes to 

interview the author herself. I worry that she will be impossibly 

poised and confident, a formidable presence. 

Instead, I find a person whose laugh is great and generous; 

someone with warmth, graciousness and humour. Qualities 

which reverberate through her relentlessly honest writing. In 

simple, eloquent words Buckrich crafts a fascinating image of a 

historical era in which baby-boomers believed they could change 

the world. “An extraordinarily inspiring time, a good time to 

be alive,” she says fondly, lingering on memories of being a law 

student at Monash University in the 1960s, at the hub of social 

and political change. 

The Political is Personal reads with the same striking ease, 

openness and buoyancy that the writer displays in person. I ask 

her how she gained such authenticity of voice, how she had the 

courage to expose her private life. Her answer is immediate, 

direct. “I just am like that,” she shrugs. “I could not have done it 

any other way.” 

It is this fearlessness, this embrace of one’s humanity, that allows 

Buckrich to speak and write with such passion and intensity 

about her life. Tumultuous and full of lucky ‘chances’, she admits, 

one of sheer determination and tackled with an unquenchable 

zest. 

Her lifelong love of literature, she says, was sparked by “voracious 

reading”. “To be able to read and read and read…that was my 

world,” she tells me. When I question her about how her interest 

in history began, she laughs at the memory of how immeasurably 

boring history lessons were – “Gee, they taught it badly!” – and 

emphasises how important it is to have “interesting”, “passionate” 

people teach it. “That’s the thing,” she muses, “if you’re going to 

be involved in history, you have to understand the ideas that are 

making a certain time.” 

For her, it was the experience of reading Dostoyevsky and other 

revolutionary Russian authors that informed her understanding 

of these political notions; writers also well-loved and read by her 

father, Antal Bukrics, who was a communist. 

Both in The Political is Personal and in our interview Buckrich 

affectionately recalls her father’s influence, mentioning their 

social, political and metaphysical conversations while “looking at 

the stars”. 

“Growing up with someone who is conscious about what’s 

going on in the world…is a pretty important thing,” she ponders, 

relating slivers of her father’s intriguing history as a member 

of the communist party in the United States and a storyteller 

himself, who wrote poems that he destroyed and which she tried 

to recover. 

It was at Monash University, however, that the political world 

really infiltrated Buckrich’s personal life and consciousness. She 

describes the atmosphere at Monash in 1969, and what it was 

like to be a university student leaning forward, her eyes lighting 

up and face animated. “It was,” she says with evocative joy in her 

voice, “like someone put wings on your back… Monash was the 

absolute centre of student movement, in Australia, not just in 

Melbourne.” 

Mentally toying with a whole spectrum of memories, Buckrich 

grasps at dynamic word-pictures, “vibrant, marvellous, fabulous”, 

conveying that vastly complex and novel experience of new 

music, theatre, literature, and ways of thinking, speaking and 

acting. “The Labor Club newsletter came out every single day,” 

she laughs, “and there was actually a serious article in The 

Age that said a revolution was going to happen in Melbourne, 

starting at Monash!” 

In a few moments of happy, soaring nostalgia, she paints an 

exuberant picture for me of “long-haired” boys, dishevelled 

students arguing at cafes about politics instead of attending 

lectures, and of watching the moon landing with her boyfriend, 

“madly in love”, while sitting in the lounge of the Student Union. 

“I’ve never forgotten what that was like. We were watching the 

landing on the moon, and this was a whole new world. It was all 

somehow to do with us, and to do with our future.” Her voice, 

contemplative, almost dreamy, immerses me in all the emotion 

surrounding infinite possibility. 

Yet this euphoric stage of her life was far from troublefree. 

With characteristic frankness, Buckrich talks about her 

frustration with largely male-dominated and male-run political 

movements at Monash. “The thing that spurred me on,” she says 

emphatically, “was that here we were, supposed to be in this kind 

of revolutionary state, and it was all the men who were running 

everything!” 

>>

She also discusses the difficulty of reconciling her 

feminist ideals with the social norms of the time, 

especially when charting a different, unprecedented 

course in life. “[It was] the struggle to match the 

kind of social change that was happening into my 

own life,” she explains. “I did not espouse the social 

changes of not getting married, I was very free and 

had many lovers. But as a first generation of young 

women doing that…it was full of danger.” 

In spite of these obstacles, Buckrich was and is 

irrepressible, fashioning a path for herself completely 

unique, entirely her own. In considering the 

evolution of her career as an author, she is very much 

a believer in the concept of flexibility and flux in 

one’s life. 

“Who knows how these things happen? Opportunities 

came along, and I took them,” she tells me simply. 

“It’s a strange thing, life; something stirs in you, and 

you follow that.” 

It was only in 1991, while she was still working 

as a teacher, that one of these “lucky chances” 

materialised, in the form of a friend’s casual comment 

that she should write a book about St. Kilda Road. In 

1996, A History of St. Kilda Road was finally published, 

leading to a career during spanning thirty-five years 

in which she has published thirteen books. 

Judith Buckrich’s book, The Political is Personal: A 20th Century Memoir is published by Lauranton 

Books and available from Readings Carlton, Readings St. Kilda, Collected Works (Swanston Street 

Melbourne), the Prahran Mechanics Institute and The Avenue Bookstore (Glenhuntly Road, Elsternwick). 

Her advice for aspiring authors, therefore, is 

unsurprising: to be open to every opportunity to 

write. Her own experience is illuminating, as she 

gives examples of different social, political and 

cultural contexts that have opened windows of 

potential and moulded her identity and authorship, 

such as moving temporarily to the U.S. in 1971 where 

she “really became a feminist” and drew inspiration 

from the Women’s Liberation Movement and activists 

like Angela Davis. 

Thus The Political is Personal is significant, a testament 

to the past, present, and future, to the power of 

possibility. An idea that started as a tribute to the 

legacy of Buckrich’s father and which evolved into 

a story about her parents, herself, and the historical 

and political events that framed and enriched their 

private lives. 

In view of the present and the future, I ask Buckrich 

for her perspective on our generation and what we 

can do to make the political personal in our lives; 

to engage with a progressively disengaged political 

system. As I list refugee rights among the social 

and political challenges of this age, I wonder at the 

success of young people back then: their rallies, 

political progress, their hopefulness – all of which we 

seem to be denied. 

Buckrich’s response is refreshingly down-to-earth, 

and quietly articulate. “Keep explaining to people 

that these things matter,” she says. “We can’t close 

ourselves off in a little cocoon.” Ultimately, she 

brings the historian’s perspective, a touch of needed 

wisdom and balance in the midst of our culture of 

media frenzy, and a visionary’s optimism, the greatest 

gift to our disenchanted generation. 

“I suppose the great gift from my father is that of 

hopefulness, that life is a struggle, you can’t give 

in, you have to keep on going, not giving way to 

cynicism, remaining hopeful for the future. As a 

historian, you do see how things have always gone. 

There have been periods of such darkness in the 

world. More than ever, we have to be hopeful.” 

arts/culture 34-35

edition two 

lot’s wife 

lucian and 

‘the true history’ 

article by john henry 

illustration by stephie dim 

Compared to the classics of Homer and Plato, the ancient satirists 

don’t reach a wide readership in Australia. Trawling through 

the average bookshop tends to show the current demand in what 

people read nowadays. When it comes to the classical canon, this 

is restricted to Homer’s epics, some Plato and Aristotle, the cant 

of Seneca, the ramblings of Herodotus, and a smattering of Greek 

tragedy. It’s not surprising that satirists like Juvenal and Horace 

don’t show up, for the simple reason that their lack of relevance have 

damned them to relative obscurity, perhaps combined with their 

failure to deliver any laughs. On Book Depository, a cheap copy of 

Homer or Plato ranks within the top 3,000 bestsellers overall, but the 

satirists, naturally, don’t come close to that mark (Juvenal scrapes 

in the top 90,000, Horace … 200,000). Although they wrote satires, 

to the modern reader Juvenal comes across as more crude and 

vicious than funny, whereas reading Horace is a trying experience 

that seems more properly reserved for a classroom of miserable 

schoolchildren in the Victorian era. But there is one satirist, much 

unread, who writes material that is actually entertaining: Lucian. 

Lucian of Samosata was a Syrian-Greek author that wrote in the 

2nd century C.E., around the time of the Roman emperor Marcus 

Aurelius (the one played by Dumbledore in Gladiator). Unlike 

his predecessors in the satiric tradition, he had a taste for the 

fantastical, going beyond social criticism into some surreal and 

evocative writing. He railed against the superstitions of an age of 

cults and mysticism, lambasting lies, frauds and folk remedies, and 

some of his works bear striking hints of science-fiction fantasy long 

before the likes of Cyrano de Bergerac and Jules Verne. In his most 

famous story, The True History, Lucian describes a fantastic voyage 

that embarks from the Westernmost port of Spain to the moon, 

to inside the belly of a giant whale, to an island of cheese in an 

ocean of milk, an island brimming with dead heroes and pederastic 

philosophers, a skirmish with pirates in hollowed-out pumpkin ships 

with pepitas for artillery… all this surrealist imagery is crammed into 

a surprisingly short work. 

Admittedly, it’s important to put The True History into historical 

context – Lucian was mocking the ridiculous tales that earlier 

writers like Herodotus uncritically repeated, and was not intent on 

setting out a sprawling Tolkien universe; he was just carrying out 

the absurdity of these tales to their very extremes. Nonetheless, 

here was a man in the age of the Antonines who was writing about 

imperial space wars between the sun and the moon, with a cosmic 

battle raging between gigantic vultures and winged ants! This tale 

is over 1,800 years old, centuries before the Dark Ages, the Middle 

Ages, and the Renaissance; it is scarcely an exaggeration to say that 

The True History is, on the face of it, one of literature’s greatest 

anachronisms; and for that fact alone it deserves a wider reception. 

Combined with his no-nonsense approach to the superstitions of 

his age and inventive blend of satire and philosophical dialogue, 

Lucian’s works probably read as the most modern to our eyes, of the 

surviving texts that remain from antiquity. He is distant from the 

days of the Athens of Plato or the Roman Republic, but he did not 

absorb the later doctrines of the Stoics or the Neoplatonists, that 

otherwise would have made him a more familiar figure to a monk 

in the Middle Ages. His playful derision towards folk superstitions 

and religions (including a particularly unflattering passage on 

Christians) is undoubtedly an influence on the birth of modernity in 

the 18th century Enlightenment. He was read and enjoyed by writers 

like Gibbon and Voltaire. 

Despite the considerable gap between his age and ours, the 

imagination and eclecticism in a work like Lucian’s True History can 

still greatly appeal to a modern reader. Tellingly, when the classicist 

Andrew Wilson translated Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s 

Stone into Ancient Greek, it was Lucian’s work, and not that of his 

predecessors, which was used as a stylistic model.

arts/culture 36-37

edition two 

lot’s wife 

the beginner’s guide to 

melbourne art galleries 

article & photography by jessica lehmann 

We live in the best city in the world and it is a pulsating cultural 

hub. We have no shortage of cultural activities to immerse ourselves 

in. For those new to Melbourne, or those who have been here a long 

time but hoping to mesh with the hipster Brunswick crowd, read on 

to delve into the art galleries of Melbourne. 

1/Centre for Contemporary Photography (CCP), 404 George St, Fitzroy 

Photography is often said to be the most accessible form of fine 

art, and so the CCP is a perfect place to start your cultural journey. 

Opened in 1986, this not-for-profit organisation consists of five 

spaces in which both current and historically relevant photography 

is showcased, including works from both new and established 

artists in Australia and beyond. A fantastic feature of the CCP are 

the photography courses and lectures it offers at the forefront of 

contemporary art practice. This makes it a great place for curious 

minds, whether new to photography or veterans. 

3/ Gertrude Contemporary, 200 Gertrude St, Fitzroy and 44 Glasshouse 

Road, Collingwood 

The place for cutting-edge current art is Gertrude Contemporary. 

Located in a converted warehouse and fixated on the presentation 

and exhibiting of contemporary art as well as its creation. Twenty 

exhibitions are presented annually featuring work by Australian 

and international artists. Artist studios are located adjacent to 

the gallery, fostering a creative environment with strong focus on 

cultivating connections and interactions between audience and 

artist. They have also recently expanded to two sites, presenting 

major exhibitions in Fitzroy and solo projects by Gertrude Studio 

Artists at Gertrude Glasshouse, Collingwood. Gertrude is a place 

that can be revisited time and time again, offering new insights into 

contemporary art practice. 

4/ SEVENTH, 155 Gertrude St, Fitzroy 

SEVENTH is an experimental artist-run space aimed at 

consistently broadening the horizons of artists, curators, writers 

and subsequently, the wider public. It is voluntarily operated by a 

board of artists and art professionals who champion accessibility 

and affordability. There are four gallery spaces of varying sizes 

and a night-screen projector where an artistic piece is displayed 

each night and can be viewed from the street. Multi-disciplinary 

artistic forms are presented with a mixture of curated, group and 

independent shows. Each show has an opening night with an 

eclectic, upbeat crowd, which is a great opportunity to mix with 

local art aficionados. 

2/ National Gallery of Victoria, 180 St Kilda Road/Federation Square 

Comprised of the NGV International and The Ian Potter Centre 

in Federation Square, the National Gallery of Victoria (NGV) is 

Australia’s oldest public art gallery and showcases a wide range of 

artworks from around the globe. The NGV is enormous in size and 

it is easy to spend a whole day wandering around the permanent 

collection levels which include painting, sculpture, indigenous art, 

fashion, textiles and multimedia. There are also regularly changing 

curated exhibitions. Furthermore, a huge upcoming exhibition 

from December 2017-April 2018 called the ‘Triennial’ was recently 

announced, featuring the work of 60 artists and designers from 30 

countries, surveying the world’s best art and design, across cultures, 

scales, geographies and perspectives. Definitely one not to miss.

5/ Monash Gallery of Art (MGA), 860 Ferntree Gully Rd, Wheelers Hill 

The MGA is the premier gallery for Australian photography. The 

grounds are beautiful and well worth a wander, particularly the 

sculpture park. But a pivotal feature of the MGA is its accessibility; a 

person who has little knowledge of art could walk in and be greeted 

by informative staff, a well-stocked bookshop and exhibitions 

often accompanied by detailed explanatory texts. The MGA also 

holds regular floor talks and education programs. The William 

and Winifred Bowness Photography Prize and the subsequent 

exhibition is held annually. The prize is open to any Australian 

photographer, whether amateur or professional. All genres of 

photography are eligible, provided that the work has been produced 

in the last 12 months, with the winner receiving a $25,000 cash 

prize. The MGA spotlights the talent of Australian photographers, 

both contemporary and historical, and how they express personal, 

historical and political ideas. 

9/ The Ian Potter Museum of Art, Melbourne University, Swanston Street, 

University of Melbourne Parkville 

Another university-affiliated art gallery, the Ian Potter Museum of 

Art, is focused keenly on educating visitors, particularly students, 

and has a strong relationship with Melbourne University’s academic 

departments. Often exhibitions include alternatives to traditional 

art forms. For example, the upcoming exhibition Syria: Ancient 

History – Modern Conflict from 28 Mar to 27 Aug is informed by 

the fieldwork undertaken by University of Melbourne researchers 

with a key focus on objects within the context of unrest. The Potter 

is worth a visit for those overwhelmed by abstract concepts often 

found in contemporary art spaces and enables visitors to engage 

with the work through various rigorous public programs. 

6/Flinders Lane Gallery (FLG), 137 Flinders Ln Melbourne CBD 

Flinders Lane is a commercial gallery representing mid-career, 

emerging and indigenous artists run by Gallery Director Claire 

Harris. There is no clear aesthetic or trends in this space. Rather, 

artists who have developed technical skills and cultural sensitivity 

are represented. There are two gallery spaces; a permanent viewing 

area and an extensive stock room that can be viewed online. 

Exhibitions throughout the year feature gallery artists in both solo 

and group shows. FLG also hosts Exploration, an annual survey of 

promising, unsigned artists and recent art school graduates. This is a 

place where the artworks have a certain level of profundity and the 

artist’s great skill and respect for the creative is evident. 

7/Australian Centre for Contemporary Art (ACCA), 111 Sturt St Southbank 

One of the most impressive architecturally designed places in 

Melbourne, the striking Wood Marsh designed exterior of ACCA 

is reason enough to make the trip to the gallery. Focusing on 

contemporary and often challenging art, it offers an interesting 

space to explore artistic ideas not considered in many other historic 

institutions in a fun and exciting way. They also have a well-stocked 

bookshop for everybody’s artistic literary needs. ACCA has brilliant 

public programs with talks and tours allowing visitors to easily 

traverse an art show that is sometimes difficult to navigate. 

8/Monash University Museum of Art (MUMA), Building F, Monash 

University, Caulfield campus, 900 Dandenong Rd 

Our very own university art gallery is a convenient stepping stone 

into the art scene. Have a free hour between tutes? Pop over to 

Caulfield campus and explore MUMA, with different exhibitions 

throughout the year, and you can undoubtedly find something that 

stimulates your mind. Free ArtForum talks on various art topics 

are regularly held by the Monash Art Design and Architecture 

department, often with high-profile guests, every Thursday at 

1.00pm in the Lecture Theatre (G1.04) on Caulfield Campus. There 

are also various public programs including the stimulating ‘Boiler 

Room’ lectures. See their website for more details. 

10/ C3 Contemporary Art Space, Abbotsford Convent, 1 St Heliers St, 

Abbotsford 

C3 is located in the basement of the beautiful Abbotsford Convent. 

It comprises of six exhibition rooms exhibiting a wide range of art 

forms. This hybridised public art and artist-run space encourages 

artists to exhibit risk-taking and experimental works making a visit 

here truly fascinating. Afterwards, make sure to stroll through the 

historic gardens and have a bite to eat, as vegan pay-as-you-choose 

restaurant Lentil as Anything always poses a good option. 

This list is by no means exhaustive and everyone has very different 

and distinct art taste. Some feel enthusiastically passionate about 

contemporary art, while others love nothing more than a bathtub 

nude by Degas. Just as everyone enjoys different music or certain 

clothing styles for no apparent reason, art is an idiosyncratic 

experience. The most important point to be taken is to try new 

things and experience art as you would do any other leisurely 

activity, at your own pace with what feels right. Go forth and be 

enlivened! 

Photography: 

1/ Exterior of Centre for Contemporary Photography (CCP) 

2/ Exterior of SEVENTH Gallery 

3/ Exhibition shot of ‘Sister Corita: Summer of Love’, at 

The Ian Potter Museum of Art 

arts/culture 38-39

edition two 

lot’s wife 

the wacky and wonderful: 

jude perl 

article by manon boutin charles 

illustration by sa pasa 

I first heard about Jude Perl when the singer from 

Toehider, my favourite Aussie band, retweeted one 

of her jokes on Twitter. I followed her instantly as 

it was the funniest Twitter account I had ever seen 

(that was before Donald Trump started using it too). 

I instantly became a huge fan of her music, which 

at the time was just the EP 3am and some sick-ass 

covers on Youtube (Virtual Insanity, anyone?). I was 

blown away. When she started acting, I was in France, 

far away from any show she was doing in Melbourne, 

but I followed her closely on social medias and 

Youtube. A few years ago, Jude Perl got into music 

comedy. I see her as a female version of Tim Minchin, 

a very specific but at the same time broad form of art 

I had never seen in France, my home country. 

My top 3 favourite recent tracks would be “Is it Just 

Me?” the cute and absurd “Our Love: a Power Ballad” 

and above all, the mildly politically engaged “I’m a 

good person” in which you inevitably will recognise 

yourself. Or is it just me? 

I’m pretty excited about going to my very first 

Melbourne Comedy Festival this year (from March 

29th to April 23rd). Hundreds of comedians from all 

over the world playing in Australia’s cultural capital 

city (yep that’s us, sorry Sydney). And I got ten times 

more excited to see that Jude was going to be there 

again this year. It took me a few minutes to ‘instant 

buy’ tickets and I found myself halfway into writing 

her a message begging her to accept to talk to Lot’s 

Wife. Here we are. She said yes. 

Hey Jude, how are you today? 

I am feeling good and mildly gassy. 

That's awesome...I guess. You were Monash student, 

that's pretty cool. What did you study and what 

kind of memories do you have from Monash 

University? 

Yes indeed, I studied music at Monash. I have lots of 

happy, strange and emotionally erratic memories of 

Uni. My best memories from Monash were playing 

in the funk ensemble (which is as cool as it sounds) 

which was run by Tony Floyd (amazing drummer 

and all round magnetic ball of energy). I learnt an 

enormous amount about musicianship, song writing 

and performing from Tony Floyd. 

Cool! Were you a good student? And, most 

importantly, did you know about Lot's Wife? 

My grades got steadily worse over the duration of 

my course, I'd say on average I was a solid 6 out of 10 

student. I did not know about Lot's Wife and I am 

currently filled with regret for that. 

It’s not too late to start reading it! You’re a 

comedian as well as a singer-songwriter, musician 

and the face of a sugar company. When did you 

start music and when did you start acting? 

I started performing (playing piano and singing) while 

I was in high school. I was constantly changing my 

mind with what I wanted to do when I was younger, 

eventually I focused on music and started doing 

gigs and working as a musician. I did some acting in 

school and I loved it, but like my previous answer, my 

enthusiasm probably exceeded my skill. I was always 

obsessed with comedy, and had secretly wanted to do 

that since I knew what stand up comedy was. I did it 

for the first time in 2014 and it just seemed to make 

sense to combine my passion for music and comedy. 

From your videos and presence on social media, you 

seem to be a nerdy oddball. You always point at the 

weirdest stuff in everyday life in an interesting way, 

just as if you were an alien watching us from afar. 

Would you say you're playing a character or are you 

really an eccentric person? 

I think I'm mostly being myself. Or maybe not. I don't 

know. I'm not really sure who I am. I promise I'm not 

an alien. Or maybe I am. I don't know. I need to sit 

down. 

So in 2012, you've released an EP called 3am and the 

single "Girls and Boys" became pretty big. How did 

you feel about that reception? 

It was really exciting, especially it being my first 

single, first EP, first video. I loved getting to do the 

interview and live performance on Fox FM. 

I feel like “Girls & Boys” was the first song I wrote 

that was dipping my toes into being a bit silly with 

songwriting, which eventually lead to music comedy. 

I'm really grateful and proud for how it turned out. 

Recently you've sold your soul and your image 

to the Sugar Company, who financed your debut 

album Modern Times. How was this experience? 

I am contractually obligated to tell you that working 

with the Sugar Co has been an overwhelmingly 

positive experience and without their help I'd 

probably be repeatedly walking into piles of sawdust 

for no reason. 

OK that’s...very interesting. Can you tell us about 

your new show, Roommates: the musical? 

Yes. Yes I can. So this is my third solo comedy show, 

I'll be performing twelve shows from April 11th - 

23rd at the Malthouse Theatre. The show explores 

how different parts of ourselves interact using the 

metaphor of a share house. 

Do you have any inspirations or heroes at the 

moment in the Melbourne scene? 

As you know, I'm a massive fan of Toehider [note: a 

progressive rock band from Melbourne] and I'm super 

excited for the new album coming out this year. There 

are so many comedians in Melbourne that I love, and 

especially leading up to the Comedy Festival next 

month, so much to choose from. I especially love 

Anne Edmonds, the Chimp Cop crew (Adam Knox, 

Timothy Clark, Rosie and Ben Vernel), Kirsty Webeck, 

Celia Pacquola, David Quirk, … ahhhh there's too 

many to mention! 

For our readers who don't know anything about you, 

what would you suggest they check out first? 

I have a few playlists on my Youtube channel 

(youtube.com/judeperl). One of them is called 'Jude 

Perl: Selling Out' and the other is 'Jude Perl: Comedy 

(live)' If you don't like any of the videos on these 

playlists, then your standards are just ruthlessly high 

and we can't be friends. 

I’ll definitely be checking them all out as soon as 

I’m home. For those who can’t wait, can I put you on 

the spot and ask you to tell us a lame joke? 

>>

Alright. This is the first joke I remember writing as a 

teenager: 

“There are people out there who will have sex with anything 

that moves… 

But I say, why limit yourself?” 

I'm not proud of it... I'm sorry.... please come to my 

show, I promise I've gotten better. 

Yeah you have gotten better. We’ve been talking 

about your past at Monash and the Melbourne 

International Comedy Festival happening now. 

What about your future plans? More music? More 

comedy? Both? Or maybe something different? 

I'm mostly focusing on comedy and music comedy 

at the moment, I have been enjoying it immensely. 

Without sounding cliché, I feel like I can actually be 

myself and say the things I want to say in the comedy 

world. 

That’s awesome. I’m looking forward to seeing you 

doing more and more stuff, and of course handing 

you a hard copy of Lot’s Wife Issue 2 at your April 

shows! 

Roommates: The Musical is on from 11 April- 23 April at the 

Malthouse Theatre. 

arts/culture 40-41

edition two 

lot’s wife 

videogames are a great 

storytelling medium 

article by rachael welling 

illustration by angharad neal-williams 

‘Are videogames art?’ 

This is all you need to say to stir the pot in the gaming community. 

Ask them; are videogames on the same level as film, novels, or 

television? Some vehemently say yes. ‘Of course they are’. But the 

rest? 

‘No, they’re just for entertainment.’ 

‘It doesn’t matter. Videogames are a waste of time.’ 

‘You don’t play games for the story.’ 

But I do. As a child I was obsessed with The Sims 2, an infamous sim 

game where you take control of the lives of virtual people (or Sims). 

It’s a game entirely without plot, but full of story. You can’t play 

without first creating your Sims. Do you want a family? A young 

couple with children they are struggling to support? Should they 

live in the city or the countryside? Who do you marry, or divorce? 

What do you name the little baby Sims? The act of playing itself 

tells a story. 

This is true for all games. Story is the rendering of human 

experiences in a way that can be shared – in a way that canvasses a 

journey. Maybe we don’t all fight monsters or shoot heavy duty guns 

in war-torn countries. But we all face challenges and we all make 

choices, which are fundamental aspects of modern gaming. Games 

all tell a story, and by being interactive, they let us engage with the 

story in ways unavailable to other mediums. 

Every game has a story because every game has an objective. Hit 

that thing. Score those points. Find something. Kill something. Don’t 

get seen. Escape this room. And so, the story goes something like 

this: you are given a task. Through skill, smarts or luck you achieve 

it. And now you receive a reward. It’s a description that encompasses 

a clear majority of not only videogames, but film, literature and 

other traditional forms of storytelling. So maybe you don’t play a 

game for the story, but by playing you act it out whether you want 

to or not. Perhaps it’s a bit of a stretch to say Pong has a story, but 

my point stands. Games are almost always quest narratives; and 

playing, and winning, makes you the protagonist. 

Interactivity is the key here. Even in games where the plot is not 

the focus, story finds other ways to come through. Take the most 

recent instalment of the Hitman series. It is arguably a simple game 

where you play as an assassin dropped into different environments 

with the singular goal of offing people. But the ways you murder 

people are virtually endless. Do you want to be the super calculated 

assassin, staking out your target to discover that they like a bit of 

golf, before planting a golf ball rigged with explosives in their kit 

bag? Or do you want to go the more guns-blazing route and murder 

almost everyone you find on a trail of death to your target? 

Even in games when the who and why of the story isn’t the focus 

(your target’s identity is never terribly important), the how shines 

through. Games tell stories through the way we play them – the 

hitman always kills the target, but the character of the assassin 

comes through in the player’s approach to the game – and the 

interactivity lets us tell the same story in ways unique to each 

player. 

Close friends all the way down to incidental acquaintances will tell 

you that I love Dragon Age, a series of dark fantasy games. Dragon 

Age, alongside many role-playing games, sets out to make story one 

of the focuses of the game. Because while most games have story 

content – such as cut-scenes to progress the plot, readable books to 

flesh out the world, and character backstories – Dragon Age makes 

telling the story part of the game. The player starts off by creating 

a character - I made a scrappy elf who liked to make bad jokes and 

was deadly with a bow – and then, at key points in the game, my 

character was given choices. Which warring faction to support, 

whether or not to exile a group of rogue warriors, which monarch 

to endorse and so on. And what I chose affected not only the world 

my character lived in, but future plot points in the game. Recent 

landmark games like Skyrim, Until Dawn, The Walking Dead, Life is 

Strange and The Witcher series all take a similar approach, making 

choice and story not just window dressing, but core mechanics of 

the game. 

Games are essentially the same each time they’re played. In Dragon 

Age, the setting, backstory, and motivation for the plot doesn’t 

change. But characters can be one of four races and three classes, 

with a multitude of backgrounds and combat styles. One friend of 

mine chose to make his Dragon Age character a sarcastic dwarf with 

a penchant for cleavers, while another made a straight-laced human 

with a shiny heroic personality and a shinier golden sword. We all 

played essentially the same story (plot twist: your character saves 

the world), but with permutations and combinations that made it 

ours. So unlike a film or a book which are unchanging, games can 

tell stories from multiple perspectives. 

And some games push this further. Her Story has the player sort 

through four hours of police interviews with one woman by 

searching for individual snippets using keywords, with the game 

suggesting you start with ‘murder’. 

Depending entirely on the words the player choses, the story can 

unfold in literally endless ways as you discover more and more 

of the woman’s testimony. One might never get the full story, or 

they might stumble upon the key plot twist fifteen minutes in. 

Gone Home gives the player an empty house to explore at their 

leisure, finding notes, books, letters and pictures all telling the story 

the player’s little sister and her eventual disappearance – again 

unfolding according to the player’s decisions. In the detective 

thriller LA Noire, how ‘good’ you do has subtle effects on the story. 

Miss some key evidence or ask a suspect the wrong questions? The 

story shifts and changes, as accomplices escape and leads go cold. 

Videogames unlock the shackles of linear and standardised 

>>

storytelling, making worlds feel more organic, and the stories more 

realistic. Life isn’t a three-act drama; it’s a world to explore and 

discover at the pace we choose. Life is a game. 

‘But for fuck’s sake,’ people shriek. ‘Are videogames art?’ 

Of course they are. They take time to create and are made to say 

something, even if all there is to say is ‘Have fun’ or ‘Doesn’t this 

look pretty?’ Storytelling is an art. Games tell stories. How can there 

even be a debate? 

Perhaps the good news is that, outside of my waxing lyrical 

about them, videogames are being legitimised as an art form. 

The Annual BAFTA Game Awards ceremony is in its twelfth year, 

with nomination categories such as Best Story and Best Artistic 

Achievement. Game Design is now a Bachelor’s degree; a family 

friend teaches the second-year unit at Swinburne on storytelling 

in games. I’ve seen reviews that call a game’s cut-scenes ‘cinematic’ 

and watched as Fifa 17 (a game about goddamn literally just playing 

football) was given an 8-hour long story mode with choices and 

dialogue options. A game about playing football! 

But I am confident that as gaming continues to age, and as gaming 

communities grow larger and more diverse, the medium will 

continue to change and challenge the way we approach storytelling. 

At least then maybe the film industry will stop feeling the need to 

make those awful videogame movies (here’s looking at you, Assassin’s 

Creed). 

arts/culture 42-43

edition two 

lot’s wife 

why reality tv is a 

blight on humanity 

article by marlo sullivan 

illustration by audrey chmielewski 

Reality TV. Love it or hate it, reality TV shows fill our 

screens, especially the free-to-air commercial stations. 

Our love affair with reality TV has even spawned a 

double-reality show. It is now possible to sit in your 

living room on a couch and watch on screen a range 

of people in their living rooms on their couches 

watching TV. I’m looking at you Gogglebox. 

Sure reality TV is a great way to watch other people 

behaving badly and is good for a laugh, but reality 

programs are contrived set-ups and fill a large number 

of prime-time TV slots. If only the commercial 

stations would put on more of the critically acclaimed 

dramas and documentaries that abound on streaming 

services like Stan and Netflix, they might see a rise 

in viewers who switched to streaming when we 

struggled to find anything engaging to watch on 

free-to-air TV. 

But reality TV is not unique. International versions 

of many well-known reality formats, like The Bachelor, 

Farmer Wants A Wife and the Real Housewives series 

are shown across the world. I confess I quite enjoy 

watching a couple of these reality shows. Yet it often 

feels as if I’m watching an impending car crash. It 

can be so hard to look away from the screen as the 

‘stars’ yell, cry and verge from one chaotic confession 

and exposé to the next. There are hugs, altercations 

and displays of extreme emotions before lengthy 

discussions on these things that have just happened, 

as though we didn’t just watch it all. 

On a recent catch-up with friends, I wondered why 

we spent a good part of our time together talking 

about recent episodes of Married at First Sight. I found 

I could barely follow the discussion on whether one 

couple would stay together or if another couple was a 

sham. Our conversation sounded like we were talking 

about mutual friends, but not only were they people 

we didn’t know, we were also unlikely to ever meet 

them. 

The issue is that we talk about these characters like 

they are real people, friends even. It is worth noting 

that reality show casts generally present a distorted 

view of society, featuring mostly photogenic people, 

but lacking diversity of culture. Yet, while the people 

cast in these shows are real, their depiction on our 

screens is manipulated to increase viewership. This 

raises the question of ethics. When a show purports 

to be depicting authentic issues and situations, can a 

show be called reality if it features editing as well as 

character and plot storylines? 

One fictional drama on our screens poses this and 

many other questions with regards to the dating 

show format. The show unREAL gives a look behindthe-scenes 

on the set of Everlasting, an invented 

show eerily similar to The Bachelor. It is here that the 

extensive editing and manipulation of contestants 

that usually goes unnoticed by audiences is exposed. 

While occasionally stories of cast manipulation come 

to light in the media, more often our news headlines 

are a mix of frivolous reality TV discussions and 

serious stories. When a light plane crashed with fatal 

results in Melbourne’s north in late February, it was 

listed side-by-side in the daily news headlines with 

the cheating scandal of My Kitchen Rules. These stories 

are not of equal weight, yet the continued interest in 

these programs means that each unexpected twist 

becomes news, not just on the show, but on social 

media and more tabloid and commercial outlets. 

Even the reporting of politics has become a strange 

type of reality TV, whereby our news of daily politics 

comes in soundbites, from outbursts in parliament 

to unusual comments in interviews. We often end up 

talking about politicians’ behaviour rather than their 

policies. Is it likely Donald Trump would have become 

the 45th President of the United States had he not 

been a star in his own reality show? 

There is a saying of disputed origin, often attributed 

to Eleanor Roosevelt: ‘Great minds discuss ideas, 

average minds discuss events, small minds discuss 

people.’ 

When we talk about people, especially people we 

know only through our screens, we contribute to an 

ever-increasing stream of gossip and rumors. Ideas, 

on the other hand, have been known to evolve into 

inventions, businesses and solutions to real-world 

problems. Reality TV encourages us to talk about 

people. 

Imagine what the world could become if we talked 

more about ideas.

arts/culture 44-45

edition two 

lot’s wife 

political acts: pioneers of 

performance art in 

southeast asia 

article by linh thuy nguyen 

Exhibition: February 11 - May 21 

Gallery One, Arts Centre Melbourne 

Free, Open Daily 

Curator: Dr Steven Tonkin 

Artists: 

Dadang Christanto (Indonesia/ 

Australia) 

Le Wen (Singapore) 

Liew Teck Leong (Malaysia) 

Khvay Samnang (Cambodia) 

Moe Satt (Myanmar) 

Melati Suryodarmo (Indonesia) 

Tran Luong (Vietnam) 

F’n’F (Face and Fingers), 2008-09 

Moe Satt 

This exhibition, Political Acts: Pioneers of Performance 

Art in South East Asia — presented as part of the 

inaugural Asia TOPA: Asia-Pacific Triennial of 

Performing Arts — showcases the work of seven 

contemporary artists from the South East Asia 

region. As the exhibition states: ‘performance art is 

a radical alternative practice providing avant-garde 

artists with a creative means to critically explore 

social, political, economic and environmental issues … 

an ideal means for artists to express their social and 

political activism.’ 

Performance art involves the artists placing 

themselves at the centre of the work, using their own 

corporeal body as stage, canvas, spectacle, megaphone 

and manifesto; both the medium and the art work 

itself. The body is both subject and object. The 

resonance of these works is found in their ambiguity, 

in the deliberate and often bewildering nature of 

their staging. Didacticism is eschewed in favour of 

open interpretation and subtlety, where concrete 

meanings are not easily grasped or readily available. 

In particular, in order to circumvent persecution and 

censorship from often repressive political regimes, 

cultural critique is often obliquely referenced — 

cloaked in metaphor, so to speak. Performance art 

has been a medium that ‘challenges and violates 

borders between disciplines and genders, between 

private and public, and between everyday life and 

art — it follows no rules.’ Broadly, performance art 

encompasses a broad range of artistic practices that 

involve bodily involvement and live action, predicated 

on the manipulation of four elements; time, space, 

the performer’s body, and the relationship between 

audience and performer. Performance art pieces are 

traditionally works intended to be experienced and 

witnessed in the moment, and thus demanding 

a form of witnessing from the viewer, a level of 

complicity and engagement by being present — not 

simply as an observer but a participant. However, 

increasingly, these performances are extended beyond 

their initial staging and given a second life by being 

documented through film or photography. 

The works in Political Acts are grounded in the 

specificity of each artist’s local experience and 

cultural context, and the socio-political legacies 

of their respective countries. Khvay Samnang, 

a Cambodian artist born in 1982, explores the 

environmental and social consequences of rapid 

urban development in Phnom Penh, while Lee Wren’s 

(Singapore) works often interrogate the experience of 

existing as an ethnic minority. Dadang Christanto, an 

Indonesian artist based in Australia from the late 90s, 

has constructed a new installation work specifically 

for this exhibition. Titled Slaughter Tunnel (2015- 

2017), it is a narrow and dark U-shaped passageway 

in the centre of the gallery space, constructed out 

of recycled cardboard. The inside of the tunnels is 

covered from top to bottom with hundreds of small, 

crudely drawn portraits of faces, pinned to the walls 

with tassels of red wool. 

The experience of walking through the tunnel is 

unsettling and haunting; the space is oppressive 

and claustrophobic. Christanto’s work can be 

interpreted as responding to his own personal 

history, in which, as a young boy, he lost his father 

to the anti-Communist purges of 1965-66 (the 

documentary The Act of Killing (2012), directed by 

Joshua Oppenheimer, is about the participants of 

these killings in the present day). However, Slaughter 

Tunnel also resonates beyond this limited biographical 

meaning, reflecting on the myriad of anonymous 

victims of state-sanctioned terror around the world 

today. As Christanto himself states: ‘my work is open 

to interpretation, so anybody is able to engage in a 

dialogue with that work.’ 

The works that most intrigued me were by Tran 

Luong, a Vietnamese artist from Hanoi (my 

own home town). In particular, Tran Luong’s Coc 

Cach (2013-2016), a video montage of Communist 

propaganda images superimposed with iconic 

wartime photographs and images, alongside with 

his giant, three video installation Lap Loe left 

me reflecting on the weight of history and the 

subsumption of the individual by ideology. 

By placing all seven artists together in a single 

exhibition, these works become a form of collective 

documentation, transcending across national borders 

to articulate a common mode of social engagement 

through a shared medium of embodied critique. 

The works are intentionally ambivalent and oblique, 

leaving the burden of interpretation up to the viewer. 

‘For performance art you don’t really need a proper space. It can 

happen anywhere.’ 

- Moe Satt 

‘Talking about politics, society or psychology is meaningless 

unless it can be manifest in the physical body.’ 

- Melati Suryodarmo 

‘I am an image maker. I create images with my body.’ 

- Lee Wren

Splash! #8, 2003 

Lee Wren 

Coc Cach, 2013-16 

Photo still 

Tran Luong 

Lập Lòe, 2012 

Tran Luong 

Rubber Man #3, 2014 

Khvay Samnang 

Body+Dots+Politics(Yellow), 2016 

Liew Teck Leong 

Sweet Dreams Sweet, 2013 

Melati Suryodarmo 

Tooth Brushing, 2017 

Single channel video, duration 6mins 

Dadang Christanto 

Steam rice man, 2001 

Tran Luong 

Lập Lòe, 2012 

Tran Luong 

Slaughter Tunnel 

Dadang Christanto 

arts/culture 46-47

edition two 

lot’s wife 

the human implications of 

scorsese’s taxi driver 

article by nick bugeja 

Last year, the Australian Centre for the Moving Image (ACMI) presented a 

fantastic retrospective on the American film director Martin Scorsese. As 

an avid fan of cinema and an even greater fan of Scorsese’s films, I voraciously 

anticipated seeing his 1976 magnum opus, Taxi Driver, on the silver screen. 

Taxi Driver is a film that immediately places the viewer firmly within the venal 

streets of ‘70s New York. It throws us into the political and social context of that 

era as we come to know the anti-hero of the film, Travis Bickle (Robert De Niro), 

a Vietnam war veteran. Other than a brief allusion, we never encounter Bickle’s 

experience of the war directly. Rather, Scorsese makes us cognisant of the impact 

of the war through Travis’s behaviour; his sleeplessness, his Army jacket, his 

snap into a rigid fighting stance when confronted. While the presence of the war 

surreptitiously lingers in the background of the film, it never really manifests itself 

as a central thematic concern. Instead, the war paves the way for Travis’s personal 

ills, giving the viewer greater understanding of the erratic psychological processes 

embedded within him. 

The designation of simplistic labels to those who are broadly considered ‘the other’ 

is damaging; calling the homeless ‘lazy’, telling women who have experienced 

domestic violence ‘to get up and leave’ and condemning those who have criminal 

pasts as ‘psychopaths’ are expedient ways for us to avoid deeper analyses of 

prevalent social ills. It places blame on the individual, rather than the unequal 

structure of society itself. 

Perhaps the worst thing that this kind of thinking does is that it perpetuates a 

culture of misunderstanding. Without acknowledging the plights of individuals, 

we will never begin to reduce suffering and negative discriminations. 

Only when we fully comprehend the complexity and multifaceted nature of 

human existence will we be able to diagnose and resolve problems in modern 

society. For Travis, perhaps with better veteran counselling and engagement 

services, and greater reception to his loneliness and bleak outlook on life, Taxi 

Driver would not have ended in the misanthropic, macabre way that it did. 

It is no secret that Travis is a character who is profoundly troubled. Scorsese always 

confronts us with this fact, providing shots of Travis staring contemptuously at 

African Americans, wandering about with an armoury of weapons, and of course, 

that famous scene when Travis looks into a mirror and asks: “are you talkin’ to me?” 

The screening of Taxi Driver at ACMI was powerful, even more so when 

experienced on the sizeable screen. It was to my utter disappointment, however, 

that some patrons behind me summed up their viewing experience by a simple 

denouncement: “he’s a psycho.” 

I’ve heard this assessment of the film before, and I have always launched into a 

robust defence of the complexity of Travis and Taxi Driver. To merely denounce 

Travis as a psychopath is to deny Scorsese his filmmaking dexterity, while also 

undermining the genuine human implications of the film. 

Indeed, Taxi Driver is a film that perfectly positions us to observe and apprehend 

Travis’s psychological processes. We are in his mindset for all but two scenes 

during the entirety of the film. Travis’s ever-persistent voiceover gives the viewer 

access to his dangerous and unstable view of the decadence of ‘70s America; to 

his insatiable desire to get rid of the ‘scum’ and ‘filth’. Travis operates as a kind of 

noir-ish figure – always alone, navigating the streets in his grimy yellow taxi. This 

feeling of isolation within the urban setting of New York is a pronounced feature 

of the film, central to understanding the motivations and actions of such a volatile 

character. 

In many ways, Travis is a repulsive character. He is racist, hate-filled, creepy 

and excessively prone to violence and volatility. However, Scorsese does not 

unequivocally condemn Travis, but rather illustrates to the viewer how this 

character is the way he is. We can understand Travis as existing within a real-world 

framework, and therefore relate his ills – and the ills of ‘70s New York – to our own 

society. 

If we disregard Travis as a one-dimensional psychopath, we deny his humanness. 

To do so is consistent with the lamentable ways in which ‘the other’ is often 

fallaciously labelled and compartmentalised in contemporary society. 

Indeed, there are quite a number of individuals and groups that are perceived as 

‘the other’ in the West; those who are racialised (i.e. not white), those who depart 

from heteronormative definitions of sexuality; those with disabilities; those who 

are homeless; those who have committed criminal infractions.

creative/comedy 

creative/comedy 48-49

edition two 

lot’s wife 

cabin 85 

article by lachlan liesfield 

illustration by john henry 

Assuming nothing serious had occurred, Emanuel returned to his 

room and began the newspaper he had originally planned to read 

on the trip down. So to his newspaper. He had no way of contacting 

work about the train, and would have to explain his lateness as the 

result of a delay, or a particularly overzealous attendant who had put 

his bags in the wrong compartment. One of them would see him 

suitably forgiven. 

Again the train pulled off, but evidently no one had boarded 

either. Something must have been wrong with the station then? 

Renovation work, or repairs. He recalled one of the stations being 

scheduled for something like that earlier that month. They must 

have been mid-way through it by now then. Yes, that must have 

been it. 

Emanuel heard the sound of the train’s horn again. They were 

nearing the next stop. 

His worn, khaki suit felt stiff as he pulled himself peeled himself 

from the seat. The wait between stops was long, and his back felt 

as equally as inflexible as it did after a day in his cubicle. Emanuel 

pulled the sliding door open to the passageway, again it seemed he 

was the only person who wanted to exit. This did not surprise him, 

most rode this line directly into the city, and this was just a minor 

pause. The passageway was free even of the crew as he made his way 

toward the door. Activating the door, a familiar voice spoke. 

Emanuel K had missed his stop. Hat over his eyes, en route to his 

job at the bank, he had fallen fast asleep the moment the train left 

off. 

Jolted into consciousness, Emanuel snatched his satchel and dashed 

for the door at the next station, fearful of being late to work. 

Waiting impatiently for the train to stop, Emanuel tapped his foot 

over and over as the carriage pulled into the next station, . Again, 

the dragging wait for the light to flash above the door played on his 

patience, eager was to alight the train and catch a cab in the hope of 

making it to work. 

But it seemed this would be denied to him. 

A tall attendant, dark hair and surly moustache, as impeccably 

groomed as his pressed and cleaned uniform, held his hand before 

the door 

"I am sorry sir, but you cannot get off at this station" he said 

impassively. Emanuel’s mouth fell open with a look of doubt. The 

attendant, Monsieur Jean by his nametag, had directly refused 

him leaving the train. Had there been some emergency he had not 

become aware of? When Emanuel pressed Monsieur Jean, who 

looked in no way French, he was told to simply to: 

“Wait in your cabin for the time being, sir.” 

“I am sorry sir, but you cannot get off at this stop,” spoke Monsieur 

Jean, whose sudden appearance and close proximity made Emanuel 

pull back his hand back in shock. Monsieur Jean now kept his whole 

body between Emanuel and the doorway, politely, but firmly, barring 

the way. A look of uncertainty, and even mild concern spread over 

Emanuel’s face, but Monsieur Jean was soon to console him with 

the words, “wait in your cabin for the time being sir”, repeating the 

phrase as before. Emanuel raised his voice to speak, before clenching 

his fist around his newspaper and returning to his cabin. He did 

not hear Monsieur Jean leave, though when he turned round again 

to demand an explanation, once more conjuring his courage in the 

hope of receiving an explanation, Monsieur had left the doorway, 

presumably returning to his duties aboard the trains other carriages. 

The train rocked as it pushed on toward the city. There were scarce 

few articles left in the paper for Emanuel to read through now, 

limited now to advice columns and the personal ads, both areas 

he tended to avoid. The steady rocking of the train threatened to 

send him to sleep again, though the desire was staved off by the 

ever-increasing anxiety he felt as he moved further and further 

away from the bank. It was a commendable position, though with 

few prospects for higher employment. The branches location and 

overall obscurity ensured the highest Emanuel could see himself 

rising was general manager, a man of modest hours and an equally 

modest salary. 

A third time the train jolted to a stop, a third time Monsieur Jean 

barred his way. Taken with frustration, Emanuel attempted to 

occupy his time by visiting one of the other passengers with whom 

he shared this carriage. Shuffling past his cabin, he knocked on the 

door to its left. A sour voice answered back to him. 

>>

“Yes?” A woman — many years his senior — bid him inside her 

compartment. Clearly not one for travelling lightly, a selection of 

fold- out suitcases furnished her with everything she could need 

for an extended field journey, including mirror, iron, and washbasin. 

She sat meekly on the seat, as if her seemingly perfunctory frame 

merely hovered over the cushions rather than displacing them with 

any weight. 

Her enviable collection of luggage was matched only by the wealth 

of jewellery she kept within them, much of it spilling over the sides 

as if she’d been unable to decide what to wear that morning and 

had haphazardly thrown them back in into drawers as one does 

with clothes when rushing for a party. She was a Dowagess, she 

explained, her voice harsh voice cracking as she spoke. Emanuel said 

little during the interaction, the Dowagess apparently quite content 

to spill her opinions at a moment’s whim, the deficiency of the cabin 

service, the length of the trip, all to her were equally detestable 

as they were topical. The train was deathly silent; and despite the 

soundproofing of the cabins, it felt as if they were the only two in 

the carriage, if not the whole train. 

The Dowagess’ conversation droned on: “never free” she was, “now 

she could finally be herself,” she said. Emanuel increasingly desired 

the sound of the next train horn, unable to think of a polite reason 

to depart. Instead, frustration, a question quite simply burst out of 

him: Why could they not get off the train? 

Before the Dowagess could answer in her sandpaper voice, the cabin 

door slid open. 

A whirl of movement found a pair of lithe hands tightly gripping 

his arms. Sleeves pulled taut, he was spun back to face the carriage. 

Monsieur Jean stood straight-backed before him. 

“I am sorry sir, but you cannot visit the private cabins of others,” 

Monsieur Jean rattled off. Emanuel K. did not protest, and chided 

himself for not predicting this outcome. He was held in place by 

two men — the train guards presumably — whose freshly pressed 

uniforms held a surprising stiffness as he was pulled up against 

them. 

“Wait in your cabin for the time being, sir,” he heard Monsieur Jean 

calmly say as he was escorted back, the guards promptly opening the 

door and tapping him inside in one efficient movement, drawing the 

exterior blind as they left. 

Sealed inside his cabin, Emanuel considered why he was continually 

denied exit. Nothing was mentioned of it in the paper, which, within 

the next few minutes, he would have succeeded in reading cover to 

cover in order to distract himself from the preposterous situation 

he was in. 

Emanuel rhythmically tapped his foot against the bottom of 

his seat, reading through the statements for his late afternoon 

appointment, familiarising himself with the facts so that when he 

arrived, if he arrived, he could attempt to make up for lost time. 

It did not hold his focus for long. The situation on the train had 

become increasingly present in Emanuel’s mind, his thoughts over 

and over: what in fact could be going on? Was there even an issue 

outside? Was it something happening on board? One possibility 

sparked his mind. He had not looked properly into the other 

carriages, he was not sure if this was isolated simply to his. 

He would find out. 

under the weight of an impressive collection of medals, bestowing 

upon him an air of authority that singled him out as the train’s 

captain. Flanked by the same two guards, and Monsieur Jean behind 

him, the Captain and his crew had effectively barred his way. The 

captains bearded chin lowered just enough for the words, 

“I’m sorry sir, but you cannot change compartments” to flow 

familiarly from his mouth and into the ears of a disconcerted 

Emanuel K. The man’s honey-coated voice did little to calm him as 

the guards walked forward and promptly lead him back to his room, 

the Captain repeating that familiar phrase, 

“Wait in your cabin for the time being, sir.” 

So flustered by these events was Emanuel K. that it did not cross his 

mind that trains do not typically have a Captain. Thoughts swirled 

in his head. Surely such peculiarities could not be isolated to him 

alone. 

Was it that the guards had a special interest in him, or was there 

simply some issue they refused to announce? Either way it played 

on Emanuel’s nerves. 

The Dowagess, he would ask her as to his predicament, perhaps her 

position would make her privy to information he was not. 

Stepping into the hallway, Emanuel’s head darted around. Satisfied 

the crew were out of earshot had moved on, Emanuel K. turned 

toward the Dowagess’ compartment. 

Again, the girth of the train’s captain blocked his path, backed again 

by the silent guards and the implacable Monsieur Jean. He was not 

even surprised to see them this time. Emanuel heard no sign of the 

Dowagess in her compartment, no babbling to herself as last time. 

Angered, Emanuel K. listened to the Captain speak. 

“I’m sorry sir…” Emanuel K. cut him off, he knew the rest. 

“Wait in your cabin for the time being, sir” The Captain continued 

in that polite tone he imagined a diplomat would use during 

negotiations; exasperation behind a cordial façade. 

Padding back into his cabin, Emanuel K. threw himself onto the 

seat beside the window, the familiar rattle of the tracks underneath 

rumbling through the walls. Emanuel had lost complete track of 

time now, his inability to leave the carriage leaving him lost within 

the walls. How far along the line was he now? What station would 

he be refused next? Emanuel’s arms shook with rage as he reached 

out to draw the blind. 

His eyes darted up, a startling sight beheld him. 

A hand, tight around the string held the blind in check over the 

window, plump fingers gripping its coarse length. Turning his face 

up, Emanuel K. noted the crew bending down across his window, 

bodies tightly packed into the cabin, who, from Emanuel’s lowered 

position, now seeming impossibly tall and impossibly wide. Weary 

of the coming words, Emanuel K. looked on in complete horror as 

the crew announced in unison: 

“I’m sorry sir” 

Emanuel screamed. 

Emanuel K. slid across the chair toward the door. He would ask, 

nay, demand an answer from this Monsieur Jean who continued to 

impede him. Emanuel burst into the hall, only to find it deserted. 

Emanuel K. was awfully ambivalent about this fact. Initially 

brimming with purpose, such energy now deserted him. The 

emptiness left him on edge. The blinds were drawn to the dining 

carriage, leaving Emanuel no way of knowing if Monsieur Jean was 

there. 

Emanuel K., however, had forgotten to check behind him. The 

sudden bump of another body against him sent a shriek from his 

lungs as he jumped around to face what had hit touched him. 

Before him stood a short, pudgy looking man whose shirt sagged 


edition two 

lot’s wife 

the greenhouse 

article by joanne fong 

illustration by anna tsuda 

The white roses are her favourite. 

Delicate snow petals, spilling out from the centres, like a ballerina’s 

tulle frozen forever mid pirouette. 

A violent assault of deep reds, canary yellows, rich blues; each more 

colourful than the last surround her in the greenhouse. The roses 

are like her children, all scrambling for her attention, for her eyes to 

linger for just a second more upon their technicolour cries. 

Amid the harlequin chaos the white roses sit patiently, quiet, 

solemn. Their subdued silence sings loudest of all. 

She still loves every rose in the garden of her greenhouse though. 

She feels guilty for having favourites. 

At first she would visit every so often; a few minutes at first, which 

turned into a few hours, then whole days. 

Eventually leaving became too hard. So she just never left. 

It’s peaceful here. She feels secure. It’s not like how things were on 

the outside. Dark and shadowy and turbulent. Everything was too 

overwhelming as though she was being suffocated by the invisible 

grasp of her monsters. 

Sometimes he comes to visit her. He is the one thing from the 

outside that she allows in. 

She knows that he wants her to leave, leave the safe haven she has 

made for herself in the greenhouse. But she can’t. 

When he talks she gets drawn into what he has to say. It makes her 

feel wistful, a strange twinge of melancholy fluttering in her chest. 

He lulls her with soft coaxing anecdotes; how there was a galah in 

the backyard that didn’t run away when he approached it, how the 

leaves of the elms on his street were starting to golden, or how he’d 

left the stove on to boil water and had come back to a pot burnt 

black. He tells her how much he misses her. So, so much. 

He reminds her that there is life outside. She would have forgotten 

long ago otherwise. 

Each time he’s with her, her greenhouse starts to get fuzzy, like the 

remnants of a dream before it slips through your fingers like sand. 

sitting next to a cosy fireplace with heavy rain outside, homemade 

spaghetti nights, fighting over who got to finish the last serving. 

Memories with him, experiencing all those things. 

Memories with him; shivering, trembling, shallow breaths, burning 

holes into her skin with his mouth. 

Every day he comes, the roses decay. She keeps finding more of their 

shrivelled little corpses scattered along the branches of the bushes, 

faded and stained brown. 

She desperately puts her nose to the buds, searching for a hint of 

fresh perfume but all she can smell is death. 

There is a bitter taste in her mouth, metallic like she has gargled 

blood. 

It’s all his fault. Poisoning her with his stories, taking her away from 

her garden with his allure. 

When he’s there, the gold rays of sunshine that stream down 

through the glass seem to taunt her, knowing that she will never 

venture beyond the walls to feel its warmth on her skin. 

One day he comes to visit, but she ignores him. 

“Go away.” She is pruning the roses carefully with a small pair of 

clippers. She doesn’t look at him. Looking at him is too hard. 

“Why?” He asks. 

She continues to prune the roses as if he weren’t there. Snip. Snip. 

Snip. 

“What’s wrong? 

Snip. 

It hurts to breathe. The silence chokes her. 

Snip. 

Snip. 

“You can’t come visit me anymore,” she says finally. 

It scares her. 

Memories of the outside start to seem more vibrant, more alluring. 

Memories of dipping her feet into the cool wet sand of the ocean, 

“What? Why not?” 

Snip. 

Snip. 

>>

Pause. 

“You’re killing the flowers.” 

Sni- 

Her hand falters, slipping, dragging against the rose bush’s thorns, 

slicing into her flesh like butter. Her fingers are on fire. She is on fire. 

Her eyes flash up at him, burning. “You’re ruining everything.” 

He sighs. “Why can’t we go back to how it use to be? When you 

weren’t like this?” He asks exasperated. 

“What do you mean?” 

“I hate you being here, in this place. I hate you not being at home 

with me.” 

“I like it here. I feel safe here.” 

“You’ll be safe with me.” 

“I’m safe in my greenhouse.” 

“Ha. Your greenhouse?” 

“Yes!” 

“Don’t you understand? This isn’t real – none of this is real!” 

“Wha – “ 

She feels dizzy, the rose bushes, the earthy scent of dirt, the 

greenhouse walls all start to blur and distort. The vibrant colours 

start to fade, dissolve; sickly sweet sugar-coated lies. 

“Wha- what do you mean?” 

The glass walls start to crack. The sun streams into the darkest 

corners of her mind. It’s liberating, it’s horrifying, it’s terrifying. Fuck. 

The world is grey. Grey linoleum floors and dull grey walls. A thin 

grey mattress covered in a single sheet on a cool metal bedframe. 

She blinks. Hard. Once. Twice. Why won’t the grey go away? 

“Stop!” Her vision is blurry. Everything hurts. Why won’t it stop? 

Stop. Stop. Stop. 

She plunges the rose clippers straight into his chest. 

Stop. 

He chokes, staring at her in wide disbelief. She gazes back blankly 

at him. 

With one sharp jerk she wrenches the blade out. Then she thrusts it 

back in again. Again. Again. Again. 

The blood spurts out of him slowly at first, a rusty drink tap being 

turned on for the first time in years. And then it gushes out all at 

once. 

Everything is red. Warm, warm, warm on her fingers and hands and 

arms and clothes. 

The room is spinning. 

The walls, the bed, the floor are all marred with splatters of crimson. 

She looks down at her hands, a pair of blunt craft scissors glistening 

red clutched tightly in her fist. 

She scans the walls around her, garish childlike drawings of roses 

scrawled with coloured crayons, cut out clumsily and thumbtacked 

on every inch possible. 

This isn’t real. It can’t be. 

She blinks. Hard. Once. Twice. 

And then it all rushes back. 

Everything is still again. Everything is better. The greenhouse walls, 

the flowers, the colours have all solidified again. Everything is real 

again. Familiar. Safe. 

The dirt of the garden bed is soaked with blood, still warm. Alive. 

Small white rosebuds are starting to dot the branches around her. 

She smiles. They are beginning to grow again. 

Where are her roses? Where is her garden? Where is her greenhouse? 

“You’re crazy.” His voice cuts her like jagged glass. “You’re fucking 

crazy! Why can’t you just-“ 


edition two 

lot’s wife 

Crazed Anti 

Capitalist 

Nick Bugeja 

EXCLUSIVE!!! 

LAST Sunday night, it was reported that 

26-year old Travis Riddle blew up the central 

offices of Channel 15. The past week has been 

defined by shock regarding the incident, but 

new information about his motivations has 

come to light. 

In our EXCLUSIVE interview with Riddle, 

he states that a “hate of capitalism” drove him 

to commit the horrific act. “I guess I did it 

because I hate capitalism,” said Riddle. “TV is 

a form of capitalism, so yeah.” Riddle is facing 

up to one day and four hours of jail time over 

the incident (Read our article on ‘Why all 

young people are thugs and deserve to go to 

jail’ on Page 12). 

Apparently an advertisement for the 

esteemed reality show, ‘Speed dating for 95- 

year olds’ set Riddle off. “I was [on hardcore 

drugs] sitting there with the TV on, and I 

heard Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No.2. 

I looked up and saw it was featured on some 

ad for a reality show. I got angry at capitalism 

and went to destroy Channel 15.” 

When our Pulitzer-prize winning journalist 

Tracy Grimshape told Riddle that an 

advertising agency was probably to blame 

for the ad, Riddle muttered “oh well…..shit…. 

at least I’ll be out of jail in a few days. I’ll fix 

them up.” 

Riddle’s childhood sheds light on his 

motivations for committing the hateful 

crime. His mother and father were both 

aggressive communists, having campaigned 

for Mark Latham’s Labor Party in 2004. 

One Nation candidate Michael Sillypants 

said “like any normal person, I like a little 

bit of classical music. Especially Russian 

composers like Vladimir Putin and Sergei 

Rachmaninoff. I personally thought it was 

great when Piano Concerto No.2 was played 

on ‘Speed dating for 95-year olds’. It left me 

and my wife in tears because it made Mal and 

Bette’s break-up so much more emotional.” 

Sillypants continued by saying “one day and 

four hours is a joke. Not only did Riddle end 

a lot of lives, but he offended the Australian 

love of Russia and reality TV.” Sillypants has 

since declared that he thinks Riddle should 

be put to death on the steps of Flinders Street 

station. “He is probably not white”, said 

Sillypants. 

‘Speed dating for 95-year olds’ screens at 6:30pm 

on Channel 15. 

apprivoiser 

article by manon boutin charles 

Avant, j'avais la tête pleine de mots. Je les balançais, comme ça, presque sans 

réfléchir. Sur le clavier, sur l'écran, ils s'animaient. Je les laissais faire leur vie parce 

que de toute façon, sitôt sortis de mon esprit, dès qu'ils passaient par mes doigts, je 

ne les reconnaissais plus. 

Avant, j'avais la tête pleine de mots. Je ne structurais pas ma pensée. Je ne savais 

pas ce que ça voulait dire. Mais je la transformais en mots. Des mots supers rudes. 

Des mots effrayants. Des mots très forts. Parfois trop forts. Mais c'est parce que je 

pensais très fort. C'était intense. C'était profond. Je ressentais des choses magiques. 

Et des choses terribles. 

Aujourd'hui, je pense beaucoup. J'ai la tête pleine de sensations. Mais que sont-elles 

? Comment fonctionnent-elles ? Je ne sais pas comment les apprivoiser. Je ne sais 

pas comment me les approprier. Je fais des rêves que je n'arrive plus à interpréter. Je 

rêve de choses dont je n'ai plus envie de parler. Personne n'a envie d'écouter ce dont 

je veux parler. 

J'ai envie de crier des mots. De chanter des chansons super fort. De m'exprimer. 

Mais je ne sais pas comment. Plus le temps passe, moins j'arrive à extérioriser toute 

ma créativité. Elle est là, coincée entre deux informations capitales dans mon 

esprit. Avant, je lui disais de rester tranquille et de se faire oublier. Maintenant, je 

lui ai tellement dit qu'elle a peur. Elle est devenue timide. Elle n'ose plus se montrer 

quand je l'appelle. Elle n'a plus envie de jouer avec moi. 

J'aimerais regagner sa confiance, lui dire que je l'aime et qu'elle me manque. Mais 

elle a trop peur, elle a trop mal encore. Elle est retournée à l'état sauvage, et il faut 

que je l'apprivoise. 

"Que signifie apprivoiser ? 

- C'est une chose trop oubliée, dit le renard, ça signifie « créer des liens »..." 

Le Petit Prince, Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

come back 

words by isaac reichman 

I saw you yesterday 

In a vacant mood I passed with mind 

Closed my eyes and travelled through time 

Just to meet you again 

In the same place, yet different 

As the same person, yet different 

I now know fear 

For each time I close my eyes 

And visit that place of solitude 

I know it may be the last time 

I see you — 

The last time I recognise your face 

Then, to never be able to tell your hair 

Apart from their’s in a crowded room 

Able to tell your eyes 

From countless strangers, all of which 

Equally beautiful, all of which 

Equally not you. 

I am no longer able 

Maybe I have never been so 

For I do not know you 

Not truly 

Though as I drift through the pages of my past 

Smelling that bergamot which clings to the paper 

As it clung, like a perfume, 

To your olive skin (or was it fair?) 

Acquired from all the tea stained mugs 

You knew as the friends 

May still know 

That would sit besides you in that coffee house 

Where I saw you 

Where I see you still when I sit in that same chair 

I sat in, at some point since 

Don’t let me forget the subtleties 

Your Auburn hair and shy glances 

They bring me back to you 

If only for a moment 

I can’t... grasp it 

Your face is as familiar to mine 

As that sight of green fields from some 

Innocuous painting 

By some innocuous painter 

That everyone knows 

But no one can name 

(As I have known since I was but a boy 

Sitting beneath a cherry tree 

Picking shapes from the clouds) 

Even that strains an effort 

The arrow drives us relentlessly forward 

I will not know you tomorrow 

So, let me dream 

We are both sitting in that coffee house 

As we once both did 

But now I sit alone 

As I have done for a lifetime 


edition two one 

lot’s wife 

wot’s life? 

with uncle trump 

Q. 

A. 

Why have the taco prices at Sir John’s Bar been 

raised to $3? I’m not really happy about that! 

I eat tacos all the time. I love tacos. Tacos are the 

greatest. And I love the Mexicans. Nobody has more 

respect for the Mexicans than I do. They are rapists 

and murderers, but nobody respects them more than 

me. I respect them so much that we need to BUILD 

THE WALL. I am so so glad Sir John’s is helping us 

build our great, tremendous wall. I have so much 

respect for Sir John’s that we are building one in 

Trump tower. HUGE news. We might also build a 

Trump tower in Clayton. Can you believe it? We are 

excited. 

I have the hots for a Mexican guy I see at work 

everyday. I’m a bit shy so I don’t know how the 

flirting game works. How do I let him know I’m up 

for it? 

Wrong. You don’t like the Mexican guy. These are 

FAKE feelings. Date someone else (someone you 

can’t take your hands off). But make sure you have 

big hands….. I’ve been knocked about my hands, 

and you know if you say someone’s hands are small 

something else must be small. I guarantee you there’s 

no problem, I guarantee you. Ask anyone, they’re 

impressed. Can you believe it? Even I’m impressed. It’s 

just tremendous. And don’t make the same mistake 

as Robert Pattinson with Kristen Stewart. So much 

out of her league. Can you believe it? Probably bad 

(or SICK) guy. Kristen Stewart is defiantly a disaster 

(or PIG). Like Rosie O’Donnell: ratings failure! She has 

nothing on Donald. 

Hi Uncle, I’m in a terrible situation where my 

housemate have a crush on me, what can I do? 

Ignore it. Unless their a stunning beauty. If they are, 

DRAIN THE SWAMP! Otherwise DELETE THEM 

FROM YOUR LIFE NOW! If nothing works,blame it 

on the Chinese (Chinese hoax!). Watch out for the 

Ginese. Never trust a Ginese. 

My linguistics lecturer can’t write “cognition” or 

“grammar” properly. Should I just tell the Unit 

Coordinator that there’s a problem? 

Take them to the department of Immigreatin and 

get them deported. We will secure the borders and 

make America safe again. I also have the best words. 

Nobody has better words than me. I know words, I’m 

very highly educated. I have a good brain, probably 

the best brain. 

Dear Uncle, where would you recommend me to eat 

on campus? 

Eat a Trump steak. I love steaks. I know them 

(STEAKS). They are my favourite food, and the Trump 

steaks have just raised the steaks. They are flavourful 

pieces of meat (like IVANKA, who I would be dating 

(If she wasn’t my daughter)). I know we won’t make 

any Trump dim sims. You don’t know what’s in dim 

sims (probably DOGS!) Even President Trumble eats 

our Trump steaks. He said: ‘Trump steaks are the 

greatest!’ Good man, really good man. 

Why did Lot’s Wife have you on their cover in 

edition 1? 

Every magazine has me on their cover. Lot’s Wife 

is the best magazine. It’s tremendous. Lot’s Wife is 

a great magazine, and I’ll tell you why it’s so great: 

because it has Donald Trump on the cover. Believe 

me, Lot’s Wife is so much better than everything else. 

The other student magazines are epic failures, just sad 

and failures. Only I can make Lot’s Wife the best, and 

I did people. The rest are just desperate (and SAD).

‘turn’ and 

‘whisky & gin’ 

words by shona louis 

illustration by lucy zammit 

Turn 

Peering down into the glass table 

In the depths of the reflection, 

The umbrella above me stirred. 

The sun was much too bright, just as I like it. 

When we sat on the grass at the foot of the library, I beamed at you, 

Utterly content, 

And your eyes 

Gleamed 

As I did. 

The sun was much too bright and later 

You would find patches of red 

Across your forehead and neck. 

You told me about what you’d done in Afghanistan. 

Not concerned 

For yourself, 

But for me. 

And it was as though I had known already, 

I trembled all the same, 

It shook me— 

But I clung to your lips. 

I told you about my stint in hospital 

Not concerned 

For myself, 

But for you. 

I do not know if you shook as I did. 

We nuzzled into one another, seeking 

What we could, 

Inhaling and exhaling 

Together. 

But the sun didn’t mind the rampant surging of our minds 

As we began to fall into one another. 

Whiskey & Gin 

We wandered 

Past the tortoise and smiled 

At his age, 

At ours. 

Later, with the butterflies 

“You disarm me.” 

In the Japanese garden, 

We travelled 

Giddy as we were. 

We held each other close in 1964 

And rotated in a party. 

The following hours 

Shrieked, collapsed and beat 

In our lungs, 

Our cage, 

Our city, 

Our fever, 

For jazz. 

In the evening 

Our mouths are alcoholic 

And you talk about our ‘Adult future’. 

What’s in three months? 

What’s in a lifetime? 

We are both young and old 

The spectrum of age 

Waxes and wanes 

And the moon is high. 

The heavy grating tide of the trams 

Bore through us, 

Carried us through the streets. 

The hum of the world sounded 

Like a gong 

When I closed my eyes, the ground was gone 

And in its place, 

The sea. 

You and I were drifting, 

As though just below the surface, 

The language of the city was suddenly 

Ours. 

I am the froth of a wave, 

You are the sand between toes, 

The night blusters, 

The spray clings 

To us. 

creative/comedy 

56-57

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Lot's Wife Edition 2 2017

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