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LORD FELPERSHAM Fighting Words Young Playwrights 2021-2022 The Plays .. What do you want, money? FLORRIE I want the truth. I think you are a murderer and I want to know if my sucpicions are correct. Beat LORD FELPERSHAM Running a house like that, it takes its toll. There was always something, a fallen slate, a broken gutter, a rottend up, they're monstrous. Anyway, it had come to the point when it looked like we would have to leave. I didn't tell my wife, which I regretted when she told me she was throwing this lavish, new years eve ball for the county! But then I thought, I could use this to my advantage. So I plotted very carefully and came up with my plan. If the chandelier should happen to fall, in the party, and injure a few people, I could claim hefty insurance. FLORRIE but sir, that all sounds good in theory, but how could you make sure that it would fall in the party? And if so, why were you arranging to have it fixed ... Oh. that man who was fixing it, he wasn't an actual expert was he? .... --- ..___ .__ LORD FELPERSHAM Caught on have you? That man was no more a workman than I am. He is a criminal, - who specifies in that sort of thing. He came and measured it, and I paid him off and he told me how far to cut into it so that it would fall when I wanted it to. FLORRIE How did you cut it without anyone seeing you? LORD FELPERSHAM I created a diversion. The gardener was cutting vines from the outside of the house. I know that at twelve he nips off for a cigarette. So I walked around via the back entrance to the kitchen, and let in the dog. I knew that in readiness for the night's party there would be dishes on the table, and the dog never could resist a meal. So I let him, and as he created bedlam, I strode around to the front, grabbed the axe and small ladder of his, and ran into the dining room. I then proceeded to make the correct slit and whollah! The stage was set. But of course, I failed to see Mr. Smith. He saw you! FLORRIE LORD FELPERSHAM ....... \-J '-' L-.J .,_, 18 u
Fighting Words Young Playwrights 2021-2022 The Plays He was polishing the silver. He came out, just to see me make the cut. Of course, I lied my way out of it. But after the party, Mr Smith became suspicious and threatened me. I gave him an annuity, and now he settled near the equator living the life of a king. Anyway on the night, when the clock struck twelve, I ushered everyone into the middle. Goodness. FLORRIE LORD FELPERSHAM I had told Mr. Smith I only wanted light to come from the chandelier. Atmospheric, and all that. So when the lights went out and the screams began I thought that I had succeeded. But then I heard that someone wasn't breathing and then who it was ... (pause) has that settled your need for knowledge? Well whether or not I have just given you the information to my demise. You could blackmail me to my final breath. And I can't live with the guilt any longer, so ... (he exits the stage) But sir! Wait, please. FLORRIE The noise of a gunshot goes off. Florrie is left standing in the kitchen alone. The curtain closes. 19
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Mermaid

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