Mermaid

FIGHTING 

WORDS 

The write to right. 

merma1 

COUNTY WICKLOW ARTS CENTRE 

Young Playwrights 

National Programme 

2021-2022 

The Plays 

--, 

funding 

litc➔raturc➔

Fighting Words: 

\bung Playwrights 

2021/2022 

Contents 

1. Ella and Ava's Guide to Master Deception 5 

by Aileen Molly Gordon 

2. Death by Chandelier 12 

by Annie McCarthy 

3. Moving on and out 20 

by Evan Shanahan 

4. The Interrogation 28 

by Eimear Sheehan 

5. The Note 35 

by Matylda Wijas 

6. The Search 

by Eve Swanton 

7. night watchmen 

by Rofsfn Faughan 

8. The Fall 

by Jack Leahy 

9. Esfera 

by Eva Garayalde 

10. Vloggers and Dragons 

by Solomon Traynor 

47 

52 

61 

65 

72

,..., 

,...., 

...., 

-, 

. , 

......,

Fighting Words 

Young Playwrights 2021-2022 

The Plays 

Ella and Ava, s Guide to Master Deception 

Aileen Molly Gordon 

SCENE 1: 

Spotlights show two girls ELLA and A VA on either side of the stage, the girls are 

talking on their phones. ELLAS side of the stage has a laptop for her to type on. 

There is no way this is going to work. 

Come on, this plan is fool proof! 

ELLA 

AVA 

ELLA 

Ava, our mothers threw a fit when they found out we were going to Dublin. There is 

no way they are going to let us go abroad, especially not to Greece of all places. 

AVA 

I'm telling you, I've got it all figured out. All we need to do is make sure we lie to 

them just enough for them to let us go, but not enough for them to punish us if they 

find out we lied. 

ELLA 

Okay, but we need to make sure we are on the same page about this. If this falls 

through I'm going to be in so much trouble. 

AVA 

Definitely. If we write down our lies, we won't get caught/ 

I'm making a word document now. 

ELLA 

(a projection behind the stage shows the document. ELLA types the title ELLA AND 

AVA'S GUIDE TO MASTER DECEPTION and types a numbered list) 

AVA 

Okay, so first we write down what's true. We can add our. .. embellishments 

afterwards. 

ELLA 

5



The Plays 

Right. So Allie invited us to her family's holiday home for the summer, true. She has 

relatives living next door for safety, true. We have planned out our transport and 

accommodation already, true. All our other friends are allowed to go, (winces) half 

true. 

AVA 

Well, that's not a complete lie. Nina and Gemma's parents haven't decided yet, but 

I'm sure they'll say yes. 

ELLA 

Next, since they will probably worry about our safety, I'm putting down that Gemma 

is being trained as a lifeguard and several of the group know CPR. 

AVA 

Incredible. When did you become so smart? 

L . 

-- 

- 

.. , 

 

Since I stopped listening to you. 

Rude. 

ELLA 

AVA 

 

ELLA 

Finally, I'm going to put that Allie and Nina have both travelled alone before so that 

they don't think that we don't know what we are doing. 

Perfect. This is so exciting! 

AVA 

ELLA 

Ava, we cannot mess this up. If we get anything wrong we will be grounded for life. 

AVA 

Come on, when has one of my plans ever gone wrong? 

....... 

....., 

....., 

'-' 

 

Well- 

Shut up, that was one time 

ELLA 

AVA 

ELLA 

....., 

6



The Plays 

Alright, I'm sending over the document now. 

(a ping sounds from AVAS phone, she taps it) 

Cute title. Not obvious at all. 

AVA 

ELLA 

Anyway, I'll call you back when I ask my mam later. 

See you then!! 

AVA 

(BLACKOUT) 

SCENE 2: 

Phone rings followed by ELLAS spotlight lighting up. She is waiting impatiently for 

AVA to pick up, when she does her spotlight lights up. 

Hey- 

Did you ask your mom yet? 

Chill out. No, not yet. You? 

AVA 

ELLA 

AVA 

ELLA 

Yeah, She thinks we are gallivanting too much. 

AVA 

Well now she's just making up words! Don't let her trick you. 

ELLA 

Also i've got kind of good news, kind of bad news. 

What is it? 

AVA 

ELLA 

7

So, my mam does not think your mam will let you go. 



The Plays 

.... 

She will. I'll get to her eventually. 

AVA 

ELLA 

But she said that if you are allowed to go, then I can go too. 

'--- 

Perfect! Only one more to go 

AVA 

\....., 

ELLA 

Ava, please, you need to convince your mam to let you go. I really want to go on this 

trip 

AVA 

I will, but i have to execute this perfectly, because if I let her think about it before she 

decides, she will see thats its a bad idea and wont let me go 

ELLA 

How about you guilt trip her? Tell her that if you can't go, i can't go and both our 

holidays will be ruined 

AVA 

For sure. I'll tell her that she's going to make me the odd one out in our friend group 

.._. 

I-, 

._. 

 

- 

Ooh, that's good. Can you fake cry? 

ELLA 

'-' 

AVA 

Anyone can fake cry with the right materials 

(suspicious) What are you going to do? 

ELLA 

AVA 

I'm going to pour micellar water in my eyes. 

\_,/ 

..... 

Would that not hurt? 

ELLA 

AVA 

'-' 

i...i 

8



The Plays 

No, I've done it before, just a bit sudsy. Besides, I will sacrifice my eyesight for 

Greece. 

You're insane! 

I know! Isn't it great? 

Sure. 

ELLA 

AVA 

ELLA 

AVA 

Anyway, if the crying doesn't work, I'll just buy the tickets. It's not like she can strap 

me down and force me to stay. 

Devious. I like it. 

What can I say? I'm a rebel. 

ELLA 

AVA 

ELLA 

Yeah right. You've got the face of a cartoon lamb. 

AVA 

A cartoon lamb wearing a leather jacket. 

Whatever. Go ask now. 

Alright, fine. Call later? 

Of course. 

ELLA 

AVA 

ELLA 

(Blackout) 

SCENE 3: 

9



The Plays 

Phone rings followed by AVAs spotlight lighting up. She waits for ELLA to pick up, 

when she does her spotlight lights up. 

Ella so- 

AVA 

Ooh, have you asked yet? 

ELLA 

AVA 

Yes, but you have to let me talk because we don't have a lot of time. 

What did you do? 

ELLA 

AVA 

Exactly what you said! I said everything it took to get mam to say yes. 

And? It worked? 

ELLA 

AVA 

Not exactly. I had to add in a few more embellishments that weren't exactly agreed 

on. 

ELLA 

Ava! That's the entire reason we created the guide! What did you say? 

AVA 

Well, since Nina isn't allowed go now I knew my mam would ask about that - and 

seeing as Nina is the most responsible one, if she thought it was a bad idea my mam 

would shut me down at once 

ELLA 

So? What did you say instead? 

AVA 

Well, I told her that she was going on holidays at the time so she's not available. 

ELLA 

Ava! What happens if our mothers find out we lied? We will never be let out of their 

sight again. 

AVA 

L.. 

'- 

- 

..._ 

- 

- 

._. 

--- 

--- 

...., 

'--' 

'-' 

'-' 

...,J 

._. 

10 

'-'



The Plays 

Yeah ... about that- 

Oh no! 

ELLA 

AVA 

You might want to prepare a speech for when she comes home 

How did you- 

ELLA 

AVA 

Our mothers met when they were in town today. 

You're joking. 

Nope! And they found the document. 

WHAT? How? 

ELLA 

AVA 

ELLA 

AVA 

I don't know how but when I logged on this morning it said that it was shared with 

your mams email, I thought you did it. 

ELLA 

Ava, why would I send the document full of lies I was keeping from my mother, to my 

mother? 

AVA 

I thought it was weird too, but you are the majority shareholder of our joint brain so 

ive learned not to question things. 

ELLA 

Damnit, she must have logged onto my computer and sent it to herself. This is bad, 

really, really bad. 

AVA 

We need to come up with something quick, before our mams come home and we 

are doomed! 

11



The Plays 

Both phones ring simultaneously as the projection shows incoming call from Mam. 

BOTH 

Crap. 

A VA 's side of the stage goes to blackout leaving only ELLA. 

'- 

'-- 

Mam! Stop reading my private emails! 

Blackout. 

ELLA 

,.._ 

\_. 

DEATH BY CHANDELIER 

Annie McCarthy 

\.... 

,._. 

SCENE 1 

Employment Office. A Young girl (FLORRIE) is in an office where a woman sits 

across from her. It is an employment office. Florrie wears typical 1920's dress. 

EMPLOYMENT MANAGE(typing something on typewriter) 

So, you are looking for a job. Any preferences? 

FLORRIE 

I want to work in the police. Or as a crime journalist or a/ 

EMPLOYMENT MANAGER: (without looking up) 

From your CV you are hardly qualified. A job like that needs serious experience. 

FLORRIE 

I could do a job like that perfectly well. I have brains, and am a fast learner/ 

EMPLOYMENT MANAGER 

Where's the proof? You might believe that yourself but I can't write it down unless it 

is hard fact. 

FLORRIE 

But if that is the case how am I ever going to get a detective job? 

'-' 

 

....... 

I-- 

1,,.,,J 

....... 

 

.__. 

 

12



The Plays 

EMPLOYMENT MANAGER: (irritated) 

Listen dearie your future is of no interest tome. I care about your job here and now. 

FLORRIE: But surely there must be something? 


There isn't! Now do you want my help or not? Qualifications? 

FLORRIE (Crestfallen) 

I worked in a shop for two years. EMPLOYMENT MANAGER: And why did you 

leave? (she looks up) FLORRIE: I shouted at a customer. 


Right, that complicates matters slightly. There isn't much at the present moment 

,anyway .. It's February, most people like to have new employees broken into a job by 

Christmas or new year. (flicks through a leaflet) 

There is an office job, but you need to be proficient in shorthand, typing, and filing. 

And there is a factory opening up, yes I think there should be a lot of jobs in April. 

FLORRIE 

Ah, well I don't think I can wait that long. Money problems, you know. 

Would you move somewhere for work? 


If I had to. 

FLORRIE 


I have one job for you. They want a maid, in Yorkshire, at a big house called 

Felpersham Hall. They say (she reads) they want a maid just to clean and serve at 

the table. It is a very small household, you see. 

I don't really want to be a maid. 

FLORRIE 


You're probably right. A tragic accident happened there on New Years. Some say it 

was murder, while others say it was cruel hand of fate(pause) Lord Felpersham was 

holding a big masquerade ball. It was for all the upper class. Anyway the countdown 

began and everyone took off their masks and ... the chandelier suddenly fell down 

and crushed three people. They died ,one being Lord Felpersham's son, and a few 

were injured. 

FLORRIE 

13



The Plays 

Murder! I thought that only happened in books ... 

SCENE 2 

Kitchen. FLORRIE is standing in a kitchen facing an older woman ( MS.BURNS) The 

kitchen is dim and they are wearing servants' clothes. 

MS. BURNS (she speaks in a thick Yorkshire accent). 

So, you've come about the job then. 

Yes, that is, I have ma'm. 

FLORRIE 

'-- 

 

-- 

...... 

MS. BURNS 

Well, I don't mind telling you that I aint half surprised. I didn't expect a soul to come 

for the job really. 

FLORRIE 

.. _ 

'-- 

So, you don't need a maid then? Oh please tell me you do! I really need this job. 

MS. BURNS 

Not especially so m'girl. But, then again, you've come from London. 

FLORRIE 

It was a long way, you know. (She sighs, theatrically) Why were you so certain no 

one would apply? 

MS. BURNS 

Why, the accident of course! Surely you must have heard of it? It was about six 

weeks ago. It was new years eve. The masquerade ball and the chandelier and 

then ... 

FLORRIE 

I suppose you knew them very well. 

MS. BURNS (weeps) 

Sorry dear but well it is so, so sad. I mean I saw him grow up. That poor boy. And 

those other girls too. 

FLORRIE 

Of course, it must have been awful for you. 

MS. BURNS 

 

._, 

..... 

..._. 

 

...., 

...., 

...., 

..... 

14



The Plays 

Yes, such a tragedy after his lordship was just about to get the supporting chain 

fixed, why the day after boxing day a workman was here measuring up. 

Goodness, how terrible! 

FLORRIE 

MS. BURNS 

But 'tis always the way. The minute someone wants to get something done, 

something happens which stops it. 

Awful! 

FLORRIE: 

MS. BURNS 

Oh , but it was a wonderful night. (a glazed look comes over her eyes) All the ladies 

had on their best gowns. And those masks, what lovely masks. The mask Master 

Felpersham had on. A bright yellow mask, how comical he looked. The maids and I 

roared when we saw him. But that was him all over. A funny, bright, charming young 

man. (she weeps into a handkerchief again). 

Do you have any other servants left? 

FLORRIE 

MS. BURNS 

No. When his Lordship, and her Ladyship, and their daughters left for London a 

fortnight ago, they sacked all the servants, bar me. Mr. Smith, the butler, retired. 

Said he doubted they would be back and there was no point in him staying. They left 

as soon as the inspector told them they could. (a doorbell rings) I am sorry but that is 

the baker's delivery and I don't want to keep him waiting. I shall be back in a 

moment.. 

( Ms. Burns leave the room) 

FLORRIE(To the audience) 

It is odd, this tragedy. No one is sure if it was just an accident or if it was murder. But 

surely if it was a murder, a complete maniac must be the culprit. There is no telling 

who would have been standing under the chandelier at that possible moment. Or 

when the chandelier would have fallen, because of course the chandelier must have 

been cut earlier than the party. No one could cut a chain suspended in the air in front 

of a crowd of people. This murder is impossible. 1-i don't 

think that I can solve it. And in that case, is there any point in me staying here? 

Beat 

FLORRIE 

15



The Plays 

But then again, I have no other prospects. If I turn down this job, I will have to beg to 

afford the journey home. I will be destitute, not a penny to my name. And also what 

has every book ever told me? A first time detective never turns down a case! Why 

what would Sherlock Holmes think of me! 

Ms. Burns re enters. 

MS. BURNS 

So m'dear. Are you willing to stay here then? There won't be much work in it. 

FLORRIE 

Well I have given it some thought and ,yes, I will take the job. MS. BURNS: Very 

good . I'll show you to your room. 

The lights dim to show a passing of time. Florrie stands alone in the kitchen. 

.._. 

.. _ 

 

'--' 

'-- 

FLORRIE (to the audience) 

This past month I have learned that in books, murders are different. In books the 

clues jump out to greet you. In real life, you have to search and search to no avail. I 

have looked all over the house. I have asked Ms. Burns many questions. But still, 

nothing. I am no further on in this case than I was whilst still in London. I have begun 

to lose confidence and doubt my detecting talent. 

A man (LORD FELPERSHAM) enters. 

Hello, who are you? 

I am the new maid, m'lord. 

LORD FELPERSHAM 

FLORRIE (curtseys) 


Are you? Yes, Ms. Burns did write something about you. 

FLORRIE 

Yes sir, I have been here for a month. Many commiserations Sir about the passing of 

your son. 

LORD FELPERSHAM (looks away). 

Yes, it was awful, the type of thing that never leaves you. My wife is still heartbroken, 

of course. She refused to come down here with me, even though I told it would be 

the last time. 

FLORRIE 

.__. 

--- 

'--' 

._., 

.__. 

........ 

.__. 

I....J 

I...., 

'--' 

........ 

16 

w



The Plays 

The last time sir? 


We'll probably sell it. The upkeep of a house like this ... that's why I. .. 

FLORRIE: 

What? 


Oh nothing. Just a slip of the tongue. 

FLORRIE 

You mean, that soon I will be out of a job? I have come all the way from 

London! 


I am low on money and selling is the only option. 

FLORRIE 

Well, if I am going to leave soon, I may as well speak freely. I have somequestions 

for you m'lord. 

Excuse me? 


FLORRIE 

I am suspicious of Mr Smith. From what Ms Burns told me, he just left straight after 

the murder, possibly avoiding questioning! It strikes me as something I might do if I 

were guilty, don't you think? 


I assure you, it was not Mr Smith. 

FLORRIE: Oh, well in that case. What about the other servants? I know they were 

dismissed but out of everyone it was easiest for them to do it. 

It was not the servants either. 


FLORRIE 

How can you be so sure? They could have easily done it. (she stares at him 

defiantly) Now sir, earlier you said something about that's why you ... now sir that is a 

very suspicious thing to say. In fact if I dwelled upon it for long enough, anything 

would come into my head. And if I was to go to a newspaper with that/ 

17




The Plays 

.. 

What do you want, money? 

FLORRIE 

I want the truth. I think you are a murderer and I want to know if my sucpicions are 

correct. 

Beat 


Running a house like that, it takes its toll. There was always something, a fallen 

slate, a broken gutter, a rottend up, they're monstrous. Anyway, it had come to the 

point when it looked like we would have to leave. I didn't tell my wife, which I 

regretted when she told me she was throwing this lavish, new years eve ball for the 

county! But then I thought, I could use this to my advantage. So I plotted very 

carefully and came up with my plan. If the chandelier should happen to fall, in the 

party, and injure a few people, I could claim hefty insurance. 

FLORRIE 

but sir, that all sounds good in theory, but how could you make sure that it would fall 

in the party? And if so, why were you arranging to have it fixed ... Oh. that man who 

was fixing it, he wasn't an actual expert was he? 

.... 

--- 

..___ 

.__ 


Caught on have you? That man was no more a workman than I am. He is a criminal, - 

who specifies in that sort of thing. He came and measured it, and I paid him off and 

he told me how far to cut into it so that it would fall when I wanted it to. 

FLORRIE 

How did you cut it without anyone seeing you? 


I created a diversion. The gardener was cutting vines from the outside of the house. 

I know that at twelve he nips off for a cigarette. So I walked around via the back 

entrance to the kitchen, and let in the dog. I knew that in readiness for the night's 

party there would be dishes on the table, and the dog never could resist a meal. So I 

let him, and as he created bedlam, I strode around to the front, grabbed the axe and 

small ladder of his, and ran into the dining room. I then proceeded to make the 

correct slit and whollah! The stage was set. But of course, I failed to see Mr. Smith. 

He saw you! 

FLORRIE 


....... 

\-J 

'-' 

L-.J 

 

 

.,_, 

18 

u



The Plays 

He was polishing the silver. He came out, just to see me make the cut. Of course, I 

lied my way out of it. But after the party, Mr Smith became suspicious and 

threatened me. I gave him an annuity, and now he settled near the equator living the 

life of a king. Anyway on the night, when the clock struck twelve, I ushered everyone 

into the middle. 

Goodness. 

FLORRIE 


I had told Mr. Smith I only wanted light to come from the chandelier. Atmospheric, and 

all that. So when the lights went out and the screams began I thought that I had 

succeeded. But then I heard that someone wasn't breathing and then who it was ... 

(pause) has that settled your need for knowledge? Well whether or not I have just 

given you the information to my demise. You could blackmail me to my final breath. 

And I can't live with the guilt any longer, so ... (he exits the stage) 

But sir! Wait, please. 

FLORRIE 

The noise of a gunshot goes off. Florrie is left standing in the kitchen alone. The 

curtain closes. 

19



The Plays 

Moving On and Out 

Evan Shanahan 

Two men (JAKE and ADAM) enter stage right. They enter an aging, worn down 

apartment. Stains all over the rug, all the appliances look like they're from the 

naughties. The characters are in their early 20's, though they are played by men in 

their 30's. As they walk in, ADAM is in a very heated, yet one-sided debate with 

JAKE. 

ADAM 

I'm telling you! This is the idea to get me into super stardom! Just imagine this, me, 

ADAM! On Broadway writing, directing and acting in Romeo and Juliet 2. Tell me 

with a straight face that that's not an instant hit. 

Pause. 

JAKE 

Wah? That's ... not a hit, I'm sorry. Plus ... I think there are dozens of unofficial 

sequels to that. 

Like what? 

Pause. 

Lion King 2? 

ADAM 

JAKE 

ADAM 

That's a real thing? Wah// Alright, I think you need to sleep, honestly. 

JAKE 

I know, I was just pre-occupied by a man talking about the continuation of Romeo 

and Juliet. 

ADAM 

Hardy, har, har. Now c'mon, go to sleep, you got work in the mornin', right? 

JAKE 

Yep ... oh! Hey, would you want to grab some dinner with me tomorrow? New 

takeout place opened down the street. 

ADAM 

Oh cool! I'd be up for that! I'm free I think ... yeah, auditions are next week ... alright 

that sounds good! 

JAKE gives a thumbs up as he sluggishly walks to the other side of the apartment 

where his bed/couch is. He slowly lays down as the lights dim out. Scene end. 

20 

"'- 

..._ 

-- 

....... 

-- 

--- 

'-J 

'-- 

'--' 

1-J 

1-.1 

'-"' 

:,_; 

'-"' 

w



The Plays 

The lights come back on abruptly and JAKE jolts up, looking over to ADAM leaning 

on the kitchen counter. There's junk food on the counter. The characters, JAKE and 

ADAM, are now in their thirties. 

JAKE 

Ugh ... morning ADAM// wait what's with the snacks on the counter? Our blood 

pressures definitely cannot, will not deal with that! 

ADAM 

Oh! Yeah, those are for movie night! I figured since, we haven't done one in ages, 

we'd test it out again. Also, the movie tonight? Lion King 2! Eh? Remember? The 

whole Romeo Juliet 2 idea conversa II yeah you remember! 

JAKE 

What? Oh, yeah, yeah .... 

ADAM 

Well, anyways, you wanna grab breakfast before your shift? New McDonalds just 

opened where the old takeout place was. 

JAKE 

What?!? Why!? How could they do that to a small business?! That place was great! 

(Beat) Only a couple rats lived there ... I can't believe McDonalds would do that... 

alright, I've decided, get your things, we're getting rid of that place. 

ADAM 

Eh? Dude, it's McDonalds, how, what would we do? 

Pause. 

I ... I'll figure it out before work starts. 

JAKE 

JAKE and ADAM exit stage right. The lights dim to show that it is now night-time. 

Scene end. 

JAKE and ADAM enter stage right. 

ADAM 

Sooo, guess who got an acting gig?! Me, I did, in case you didn't get that yet. I 

dunno, I feel kind of good about this one! Happening in like two days I think? 

Pause. 

ADAM 

You, you alright JAKE? You didn't eat anything at McDonalds and barely served 

anyone at work. 

Pause. 

JAKE 

21



The Plays 

Didn't feel like it. 

ADAM 

You still mad about the McDonalds thing? It's okay, you can tell me. 

Pause. 

A little. 

JAKE 

ADAM 

Look, hey, it's movie night, just put it out of your mind for now, alright? We got 

snacks, and I'll be able to get a reference from like ... pfft, something like ten years 

ago? 

ADAM walks backwards over to the couch and falls onto it, catching him by surprise. 

Pause. 

Ten years? 

JAKE 

ADAM 

Well yeah, I remember that it was exactly ten, because that's when I got into acting 

and// oh! And I had the Romeo Juliet 2 idea. Hehe, the sequel to a play where the 

main characters die at the end ... anyways, c'mon, Lion King 2 time! 

JAKE awkwardly moves over to the couch as ADAM scoots over to make room for 

his friend. Pause. After a couple of seconds, ADAM falls asleep, but JAKE can't. All 

the lights around the stage slowly fade out until it's one spotlight on JAKE. He puts 

one hand on his head in realisation of time passed. Another light shines down on 

stage right, and a voiceover of JAKE can be heard. (Every time that JAKE 

(VOICEOVER) has lines, a light shines down on stage to show their presence.) 

JAKE (VOICEOVER) 

Wow ... ten years, huh? And you're still living here? Woah, I mean// hey? It's better 

than living with your parents, right? Well, maybe ... you'd think that in a decade you'd 

settle down with someone // get a house II have kids ... right? 

JAKE's (VOICEOVER) voice gets louder. 


(Beat) So, tell me, WHY AM I STILL HERE? 

STOP TALKING! 

JAKE 

All the lights come back on abruptly, meanwhile ADAM awakes abruptly. 

ADAM 

Woah. What's happening? I. .. Sorry, I fell asleep, what happened? Is the movie any 

good? 

JAKE 

'-- 

'-- 

'-- 

...... 

'-- 

-- 

'- 

·- 

....... 

._... 

....... 

I....., 

I....., 

 

1....,1 

__, 

22

No, no, it's, it's fine, you go back to sleep ... 

ADAM 

Well, if you're sure you're feeling alright (beat) night JAKE ... 



The Plays 

ADAM falls back asleep, and the lights fade back out except the spotlight on JAKE. 

JAKE is lost in thought when a letter is thrown onto stage, entering stage right. He 

looks over to ADAM, still sleeping, then to the letter. JAKE rises from the couch and 

walks over. He crouches down to look at it. 

Oh no, no, no, no ... but, but. .. 

JAKE 

JAKE slumps to the floor. JAKE (VOICEOVER) can be heard. 


"Eviction notice"? Oh well. .. it was bound to happen at one stage or another ... 

JAKE looks to ADAM, then back to the letter. He walks over to the couch, sinking 

himself in. The lights cut out. Scene end. 

After a few seconds, the lights come back in full force. ADAM is heating up 

something in the microwave on the counter. JAKE is curled up in the middle of the 

floor. 

ADAM 

Momin' JAKE, how was the movie? I'm gonna be honest, fell asleep after the 

opening. (Laughs) JAKE looks up at ADAM. 

JAKE 

You're really not missing out on much, it's Romeo and Juliet, but with lions. 

ADAM 

Are you kidding me?!? That sounds incredible! Heh, so anyways, heating up some of 

your McBurger leftovers from the other night, if you want any? 

JAKE 

Nope, I'm good. Still, guess I'm not over having McDonalds taking over the old 

takeout place. 

ADAM 

Aww, c'mon! We had the same thing at the takeout place for// like // a decade! 

Maybe we can switch things up every once in a while? 

Pause. 

Maybe later. 

JAKE 

Pause. JAKE (VOICEOVER)'s light is shining down on stage brighter than the other 

lights. 


23

Tell him. Now. 

Pause. 

JAKE (Sighs) 



The Plays 

Okay ... Uhm, hey, I've gotta go to work now, but could we talk over burgers later? 

ADAM 

Alright, it's a date. Heh, this'll also act as my first date in a while. 

Both JAKE (VOICEOVER), JAKE and ADAM take a moment to have a slight laugh 

over what ADAM had said. 

JAKE ( Calming down) 

Hehe ... okay, okay, I gotta go now, talk later, promise I won't stand you up. 

ADAM 

Heh, hope so// anyways, enjoy work, see you soon! 

JAKE exits stage right. All of the lights become brighter than usual for a second, 

before fading back out. Scene end. 

The lights fade back in. ADAM is laying on the couch. JAKE (ON-STAGE) enters 

stage right after a couple seconds. ADAM looks over to him. In the middle of the 

room, there are now two chairs facing each other. 

JAKE 

Against my better judgement, I bought wraps from the new McDonalds. 

ADAM is slightly taken aback by this. He gets up off the couch in awe. 

ADAM 

The wraps?! Those are pretty expensive! Haven't had a fancy dinner in a while! 

(Laughs) 

JAKE throws ADAM a wrap. 

JAKE 

Alright ... dinner time. C'mon we ... we need to talk. 

ADAM 

Vague and mysterious, pretty cool, pretty cool. .. 

ADAM makes his over to and sits down in one of the chairs. JAKE (VOICEOVER)'s 

breathing can be faintly heard throughout the conversation. Pause. 

ADAM 

So, forgot to tell you when it happened but. .. that gig I was talking about? Didn't go 

too bad! Everyone on set was really nice and ... umm ... 

Pause. 

ADAM 

You know, these wraps, aren't bad! Thanks for picking them up! (Clears throat) 

L - 

I.... 

--- 

.._, 

....., 

1-J 

I..., 

 

'-' 

\-,,i 

 

24

Hmm ... 

Pause. 

ADAM 



The Plays 

Look, JAKE? I know when something is up with you, you can tell me what's 

happening. If it's a secret, you know I'll take it to the grave! Long pause. 

We're being (Beat) we're being evicted. 

Pause. 

What? 

JAKE 

ADAM: 

After ADAM had said that, JAKE (VOICEOVER) inhales before the lights cut out 

slowly. Scene end. Lights slowly come back in, revealing ADAM laying on grimy 

apartment's floor, fidgeting, panicked and lost in thought. Meanwhile, JAKE lays on 

the couch like it's a psychiatrist's couch. ADAM stops and looks over to the couch. 

ADAM 

JAKE? Sorry, uhm ... how long have you known? About the eviction notice I mean. 

Pause. 

. . . Since movie night. 

ADAM gets up off the floor . 

JAKE 

ADAM 

JAKE! That was almost, something like, two weeks ago! Why didn't you say 

something? We could've done something! Anything! 

JAKE 

Well, you had an acting gig; I didn't want to mess it up. I know it means a lot to you 

and/ I. .. 

ADAM 

No, JAKE, it's ... that gig amounted to nothing, and I knew that coming in. I just 

wanted to do something fun. It wasn't gonna by my 'big break'. 

JAKE 

'Something fun'? ADAM, why do you think I've been working at a cafe instead of 

doing gigs with you? For almost six years? Because we need to pay rent, ADAM. 

You can't pretend you're twenty anymore! This? THIS IS WHY WE'RE BEING 

EVICTED! 

One reason anyway ... 

Pause. 

JAKE (Mutter) 

JAKE (Sighs) 

25



The Plays 

Sorry. I ... got off-topic there for a second .... 

Pause. 

ADAM 

Yeah, don't worry about it, (Whisper) you're probably right. Look ... we still have time 

to do something, right? I mean ... I don't really know what that is? Haven't had time to 

do any research ... but I know we can figure it out! 

JAKE gets up off the couch. 

No. 

Huh? Wait JAKE / before you ... 

JAKE 

ADAM 

JAKE 

No. I don't know// I'm really not sure what I'm thinking right now but, something 

needs to change. What that is? I wish I could tell you, but it starts with getting out of 

here. 

Pause. 

ADAM 

But, but where are we gonna go? I don't wanna just crash at friend's houses or live 

with my mom or dad, they've gotta take care of themselves. I don't think they'd be 

able to house me again ... 

Pause. 

JAKE 

I think we have to. I don't like it, sort of hate it in fact, but. .. it's that or sleeping on the 

sidewalk. 

JAKE walks over to the kitchen counter, grabs his and ADAM's phones, and unplugs 

the microwave, handing the phones to ADAM and grabbing the microwave himself. 

JAKE 

I think my cousins live an hour or two away from here, they won't mind if I drop in 

and if you can't find anywhere to sleep, you're always welcome to come along. 

ADAM: Heh, thanks, that means a lot. Got a couple of friends living couple hours 

away, I'll see if they mind. But either way, I'll visit you. 

JAKE 

Sounds like a plan, might drop by every once in a while. 

Pause. 

Okay, let's go. 

ADAM 

Having their items in hand, they head to exit stage right, just before, they look to 

each other and nod firmly. For the last time, they look back at the apartment. They 

.._ 

L- 

._. 

- 

..__. 

'--I 

.__.. 

.__., 

'--' 

1-, 

..... 

s-J 

L-. 

26

exit stage right. Scene end. 



The Plays 

JAKE and ADAM are no longer in the apartment, instead, they are waiting at a bus 

stop. JAKE is still holding on to the microwave. 

So ... (Beat) is this it? 

ADAM 

JAKE 

C'mon, don't be dramatic, I'll visit! You know/ that. .. 

ADAM 

No, I really mean it! What if one of us moves away or passes ... okay that's a bit 

extreme ... but the statement stills stands! It's just that (Beat) maybe we should've 

stayed in that grungy old apartment. .. 

Pause. 

JAKE 

ADAM, look at me. I've finally had a coherent thought about this whole ... THING, 

and if you want to hear it, it's this. If we hadn't left the apartment now, we'd probably 

have died of old age in there. You/ have potential, use it. 

But! 

Pause. 

ADAM 

JAKE 

ADAM? The bus is on its way, and I'm sure your old friends are waiting for you, 

right? 

JAKE puts down the microwave and both JAKE and ADAM walk over to each other 

and awkwardly hug it out for a second. Afterwards, JAKE picks up his microwave 

and ADAM steps back to the bus stop. 

I'll see you around? 

Yep. 

ADAM 

JAKE 

The lights slowly fade out. JAKE (VOICEOVER) finally releases the breath he had 

taken during the dinner scene. 

27

The Interrogation 

Eimear Sheehan 



The Plays 

... - 

1-o 

One rainy day at a Chicago Police department. Charlie waltzes in and takes a seat 

across from Naomi in the interrogation room. She flicks through some paperwork 

before clearing her throat and begins staring at Naomi dead in the eyes until she 

starts speaking. 

CHARLIE 

Hi, I'm detective Moore, do you mind if I ask you a few questions in relation to the 

murder of Rory Lewis? 

1-o 

...... 

...... 

Naomi adjusts herself in the chair and rests her elbows on the table. 

NAOMI 

I am more than happy to tell you what I told the other officer, I have no idea what 

happened to Rory. I had nothing to do with it. Can I please go now? 

CHARLIE 

I'm afraid we'll have to keep you here until we are done with our questioning. Also, 

I'm a detective not an officer, big difference. 

Naomi stares at her blankly. Charlie clears her throat and sits forward. 

CHARLIE 

Rory Lewis was your employer I believe, at the florist he owns, yes? 

....... 

.__ 

...... 

..... 

NAOMI 

Ready Set Grow, that's the name of it, and yes, I worked for him for 2 and a half 

years. 

Charlie takes a long moment to think 

1...1 

Fights? 

Excuse me? 

CHARLIE 

NAOMI 

CHARLIE 

i..... 

._.. 

You and Rory, did you ever fight, argue, disagree? 

NAOMI 

..... 

28



The Plays 

Never 

Never? 

CHARLIE 

NAOMI 

Well. .. I mean occasionally there would be a disagreement but that was the kind of 

fight that would be over and done with by the end of the day. 

CHARLIE 

It's interesting you say that because we umm talked to the law firm next to your florist 

shop and they called it more than a 'disagreement'. 

Charlie puts air quotes over the word disagreement. She then leans forward with a 

very serious look on her face. 

CHARLIE 

When was the last time you saw Mr. Rory Lewis alive? 

Are you really suggesting/ 

NAOMI 

CHARLIE 

I'm not suggesting anything, I just want the truth. That's all. 

Naomi stares straight into Charlie's eyes before saying 

NAOMI 

Thursday. Thursday evening, I just finished my shift. That was the last time I saw 

him. 

CHARLIE 

What time did you finish? 

NAOMI 

I usually finish around 5 but that day he let me off early, so I suppose it was half 4 

when I left. 

CHARLIE 

Was it just you and him until then? No one else? 

NAOMI 

We have a cleaning lady who comes in on Thursday mornings, but apart from that 

no. No one else. 

29



The Plays 

Charlie gets up out of her chair and paces the room for a minute. She suddenly 

stops and looks right at Naomi. 

CHARLIE 

Hhmmm will we just go over what we have so far? Your boss Rory Lewis was 

murdered Thursday evening. It was just you and him for the whole day besides a 

cleaner in the morning. You claim you left early but you were the last person to see 

Rory alive. Interesting ... things aren't looking so great for you, are they? 

Charlie sits down again, and Naomi doesn't hesitate to respond. 

NAOMI 

Well, I'm not a detective but I presume whoever killed him saw him after I did. 

... - 

.__ 

.__ 

CHARLIE 

Wow you're quick ... almost like you have it prepared. 

NAOMI 

I can't prepare the truth, and that's all you're looking for right? 

...... 

Charlie ignores her last comment. 

CHARLIE 

So, you claim you left around half 4, what did you do then? 

NAOMI 

I walked back to my apartment and on the way, I stopped at the supermarket to get 

ingredients to make my dinner. When I got home, I cooked, ate, and watched a 

movie and then went to bed. 

Naomi smiles and leans back in her chair. 

...... 

k_l 

...... 

What dinner did you make? 

Pause 

I don't see how that is relevant. 

CHARLIE 

NAOMI 

CHARLIE 

--J 

1-J 

 

'-' 

Chicken Curry. 

Well good thing you're not a detective so. Answer the question. 

NAOMI 

'--i 

1......: 

30



The Plays 

Charlie smiles. 

CHARLIE 

My favorite. Now tell me this, what ingredients go into a chicken curry? 

NAOMI 

I don't really remember. Beat. This seems like a huge waste of time. 

Charlie writes something down in her notebook. 

CHARLIE 

What movie did you watch? 

NAOMI 

Legally Blond on Netflix. 

CHARLIE 

That's interesting given they took it off Netflix only 2 weeks ago. It's my go-to chick 

flick you see. 

NAOMI 

Well, I must be mistaken, I pirated it now that I think about it. 

Charlie gets up to pace around the room once more. 

CHARLIE 

You have a lot of holes in your story and no witnesses. 

NAOMI 

Well unless you prove me guilty, I'm innocent. 

The lights dim, when the stage lights up again Charlie is leaning against the wall, 

flicking through her notebook. She studies a page for a moment and then closes the 

notebook and slowly walks back over to the desk and takes a seat. 

CHARLIE 

We had someone go down to the supermarket near the florists. When we showed 

them the photo, they couldn't recognize you? 

NAOMI 

Well, I don't recognize everyone who comes into the florist even if they've been there 

before. It wouldn't surprise me that no one recognized me because I had my hood 

up, it was raining and it was late in the evening, I probably looked different. 

Charlie shakes her head. 

31



The Plays 

CHARLIE 

That's lucky 

What's lucky? 

NAOMI 

CHARLIE 

The rain, the hood it would be impossible to recognize you on the security tapes. 

Perfect. 

L. 

\._. 

Naomi smiles 

NAOMI 

.__ 

It's not luck, it just happened to be raining when I was walking home. 

Pause 

Was Rory a good boss? 

CHARLIE 

,.._ 

Yes, yes, he was. 

NAOMI 

CHARLIE 

So, he was fair, honest, hardworking. Yes? 

Not exactly that/ 

So, what? What was he exactly like? 

NAOMI 

CHARLIE 

NAOMI 

I mean it was nothing really, I had to work long hours and he didn't. I mean he kept 

most of the profit from the business even though I did most of the work. But I mean 

that was fine, really, I didn't hold it against him. 

Was that what you two fought about? 

CHARLIE 

'---' 

...... 

 

'-' 

1,-J 

..... 

NAOMI 

I mean yes, sometimes obviously we fought over those kinds of things, but every 

business has that. 

 

32 

\..,;



The Plays 

CHARLIE 

Do they? Specifically, what was your most recent disagreement, shall we say? 

Naomi suddenly sits up straight. 

I don't remember. 

Ok walk me through the day again. 

Naomi sighs 

NAOMI 

CHARLIE 

NAOMI 

We're going in circles. I've told you everything that happened on Thursday. I want my 

lawyer now. 

I'm not done with my questioning yet. 

CHARLIE 

NAOMI 

Well, you can't keep me in here forever, time is running out. 

Charlie sits down and thinks for a minute. 

Did you ever want a florist of your own? 

CHARLIE 

NAOMI 

Yes, I did, but I wouldn't have the business skills Rory had. 

CHARLIE 

Actually, I had a look at the accounts, he was losing money and it looks like he would 

go out of business in several weeks. 

Naomi looks quite shocked for a moment 

NAOMI 

Wow ... I umm didn't know that. 

He never told you? 

CHARLIE 

NAOMI 

33



The Plays 

No ... never. I always thought we were doing great, and he wasn't paying me enough 

out of greed. 

Naomi takes off her jacket and sighs. Charlie jumps up and points at a large splatter 

of blood on her t-shirt. 

L. 

What's that? 

CHARLIE 

i..._J 

Naomi glances down at her t-shirt and a look of panic crosses over her face. 

CHARLIE 

Naomi Green I am arresting you on the suspicion of murder of Rory Lewis, anything 

you say or do can be used against you in court of law, you have the right to remain 

silent, you have the right to an attorney, if you cannot afford an attorney the state can 

provide you with one. 

Bad day to wear white. 

NAOMI 

I...., 

'-- 

...._ 

'--' 

...._ 

 

....... 

'--' 

 

'-' 

w 

34



The Plays 

The Note 

Matylda Wijas 

Two detectives are running after criminals. They are clearly walking in circles. 

Sanders (female, early 20's), Jones (male, early 20's) 

Sanders found a note and called the number on it. Jones got suspicious, wondered 

what it was. Jones figures it all out but it's too late 

Set in a forest, animal sounds, crunching leaves under their feet. Both characters are 

out of breath 

SANDERS 

Oh, that was close 

JONES 

Yeah, I hope we never have to do that again 

SANDERS 

Do you have any idea where they're headed? 

JONES 

I think I might've seen them going left, or right, I'm not sure 

SANDERS 

You're not sure where they went? 

Yeah, they either went left, or right 

You're actually so stupid, you know 

JONES 

SANDERS 

JONES 

Hey, you're the one who didn't keep an eye on them! It's your fault they ran away! 

SANDERS 

Well, I was checking the thing that they dropped! You're the one who was supposed 

to go after them! 

JONES 

If you learned how to properly communicate, maybe I would've heard you telling me 

to go after them! 

35



The Plays 

SANDERS 

You're annoying. 

Beat 

SANDERS 

I need to take a quick phone call, give me a second 

JONES 

Alright. 

Sanders moves away, lights dim. Lights come back on and Sanders comes back 

Sanders: Where are we? 

- 

JONES 

In the middle of a super secret mission, perhaps? 

No, I'm serious, where are we? 

I don't know ... don't you have a map? 

SANDERS 

JONES 

SANDERS 

This crumpled piece of paper? It's not really a map ... it's a note ... 

JONES 

- 

....... 

 

Interesting ... What does it say? 

Nothing important, it's silly 

SANDERS 

,._, 

...... 

Jones comes close to Sanders, tries to get a look at the note. Sanders quickly 

moves away from him. Sanders puts the note in her coat pocket. It sticks out a bit. 

SANDERS 

We were just along the motorway, how did we get here? We didn't walk into the 

forest, did we? 

JONES 

I don't think we did. (excited) Ooh ... do you think we teleported? Do the criminals 

have some kind of superpowers? Do you think they could take us to ... Austria? I've 

always wanted to go skiing!!! 

36 

._,, 

I,_, 

\-.I



The Plays 

SANDERS 

It's the middle of summer, there's not going to be any snow there now Jones: You 

might be right. 

Beat 

Do you think they're escaping to Austria? 

SANDERS 

JONES 

That's where their safe house apparently is, according to the files Sanders: What 

files?. The ones back at the station 

SANDERS 

I see. Come on, follow me, I'll find a way out. 

JONES 

Are you sure? I mean, this is a very thick forest Sanders: It'll be grand, there's 

always a way out Jones: But what if we get lost? 

SANDERS 

We won't. 

JONES 

What if someone attacks us? 

You've got to be kidding me right. 

now 

SANDERS 

JONES 

And animals? What if there's animals here? Like a fox? Or maybe ... I don't know ... 

SANDERS 

Of course there will be animals here, idiot, we're in the middle of the woods! Jones: 

What if it gets dark? I know you're scared of the dark ... 

SANDERS 

37



The Plays 

(sarcastically) Well, I trust you will save me from the awful, scary, frightening dark 

Jones: Sanders! THERE'S SOMETHING ON ME! IT'S CRAWLING! 

Sanders starts laughing while Jones runs around the stage. 

I'm serious Sanders! Get it off! Get it off! 

JONES 

Sanders takes of something from Jones' back, holds it close to her face, inspects it. 

SANDERS 

(serious) That's what I thought. It's a Pholcus phalangioides 

JONES 

What does it mean? What is that phalanges thing, whatever you said 

SANDERS 

It's a spider, very deadly, one bite could kill a man 

Sanders looks closely at Jones' neck 

Oh no! 

What? 

I'm afraid it's too late. 

What? What's wrong? Too late for what? 

SANDERS 

JONES 

SANDERS 

JONES 

SANDERS 

Looks like you have five minutes left to live before your throat gets swollen and that'll 

lead to asphyxiation, you'll probably die out here before we get help. 

JONES 

........ 

 

--- 

......, 

'-J 

...... 

'--' 

What? Did it bite me? Call an ambulance! Sanders! 

\--' 

SANDERS 

It was so nice working with you Jones, it's going to be hard to say goodbye, 

especially in these circumstances ... 

\-J 

38



The Plays 

JONES 

No! I'm not dying! Call an ambulance! Quick! Sanders! 

SANDERS 

You were the best partner ever, we've solved so many cases in the past 7 years, you 

are a true friend. 

No! I am not dying. 

JONES 

SANDERS 

I'll miss you so much, you'll have a cool funeral though- Jones: I won't have a funeral 

because I'm not dying! 

You're in denial, Jones. 

SANDERS 

JONES 

Call an ambulance! I am too handsome to die! 

Sanders starts laughing again 

What? What now? 

It was just a twig you idiot. 

Jones gets upset. 

Come on, it'll get dark soon 

JONES 

SANDERS 

SANDERS 

They walk around. Sounds of owl hootingJones is still scared. Sanders is scared too, 

but doesn't show it. 

How long have we been here? 

JONES 

SANDERS 

My watch says we've been here only five minutes. 

39



The Plays 

JONES 

It feels a lot longer though. 

SANDERS 

\_. 

It does. 

They continue walking. 

 

JONES 

Sanders, I'm hungry. 

SANDERS 

What do you want me to do about it? 

'-- 

JONES 

I don't know, I just thought I'd let you know in case I died. 

SANDERS 

You wouldn't die so fast from hunger, (under her breath) unfortunately Jones: I 

suppose so. 

SANDERS 

But then again, you did think a twig poisoned you. 

JONES 

Shut up! 

Continue walking. Sanders finds a stick behind a tree. Jones doesn't see it Sanders: 

Did you hear that? 

.__ 

..__, 

'-" 

__, 

JONES 

Hear what? 

SANDERS 

It was like, I don't know, something behind us Jones: What do you mean? 

\-.,I 

\.,_; 

\-.I 

\-.I 

\..J 

40



The Plays 

SANDERS 

There's something behind us ... 

JONES 

(scared) Like what? A bird? 

SANDERS 

No definitely not that, something bigger Jones: A badger? Please no, they're 

terrifying Sanders: No, something much bigger than that Jones: What is it? 

SANDERS 

I don't know, PROBABLY A GIANT SPIDER Sanders uses the stick to scare him. 

JONES 

AHHH!!! You're so mean! Get off me! Leave me alone Continue walking. 

JONES 

Have we walked past this tree before? 

SANDERS 

I don't know, it looks familiar though 

Jones: And this tree, and that one, and all trees. They all look the same to me! 

Sanders: They do look oddly similar to the ones we just passed .... 

Do you think we're going in circles? 

JONES 

I doubt it. 

SANDERS 

Well, can you check the map? 

JONES 

Huh? 

SANDERS 

41



The Plays 

JONES 

I mean, the note, whatever, the thing the criminals dropped. 

SANDERS 

I don't think you'd want to read it. 

.... 

JONES 

Sanders, I'm a detective, nothing can scare me. 

SANDERS 

Say that again. 

JONES 

I'm a detective ...? 

SANDERS 

No, the other part 

Jones: (gets comically upset/fake sad) Everything scares me. 

SANDERS 

....., 

There you go. 

Beat. 

JONES 

......., 

What does the note say? 

SANDERS 

That a new type of frog has been discovered in Irish forests. 

 

JONES 

Really? What are they like? 

SANDERS 

I..,., 

You can't see them, they're tiny and mossy in colour. 

JONES 

What do they do? 

\-J 

'....J 

42



The Plays 

SANDERS 

They are so small, they jump in your ear when you're not looking and slowly eat your 

brain until you've lost all your memories. 

Are you serious? 

JONES 

SANDERS 

Yep. That's why they have two tongues, to eat more in less time Jones: That's 

insane! And unbelievable! 

Probably because it's not true. 

SANDERS 

Shut up. 

They continue walking. 

JONES 

How long have we been here? 

JONES 

SANDERS 

AbouL. (checks watch) five minutes? Jones: But that's what it said about half an 

hour ago Sanders: I know, it's strange. 

It's as if time stopped here. 

JONES 

SANDERS 

Or just got messed up. 

JONES 

Or we time travelled! 

SANDERS 

43



The Plays 

Or my watch stopped working, that's probably it. 

Continue walking. 

Is it a clue? 

JONES 

No, it's just a note, that's all. 

SANDERS 

I..,. 

JONES 

I see. Can I read it? 

SANDERS 

.. 

No. 

JONES 

Why not? 

Because there's nothing on it. 

SANDERS 

 

Then why can't I see it? 

JONES 

SANDERS 

'--' 

Because it's just a number, nothing interesting. 

'-,J 

JONES 

\...I 

What number? 

SANDERS 

\-J 

Pi. 

\,,_I 

44



The Plays 

You're funny, pie is a food, not a number. 

JONES 

SANDERS 

Come on, it's getting late. 

Continue walking. Jones sneakily takes the note from Sanders' pocket, reads it, 

gasps Sanders: I told you not to read it! 

You know that I can't help myself! 

Beat 

JONES 

JONES 

This says to call the number and ask for a private plane. 

SANDERS 

Oh God, why did you have to get involved in this? I tried to keep you out of this 

Jones, you can get in serious trouble now. 

What do you mean, keep me out? 

Sanders doesn't say anything. 

JONES 

JONES 

But, if we do what the note says, do you think they'll turn themselves in? 

SFX if plane flying. 

SANDERS 

I doubt it. And even if we did do what it says, where would we get the money from? A 

private plane costs money, you know. 

JONES 

45



The Plays 

You're right. We shouldn't do anything illegal just to catch some bad guys ... Lights 

suddenly tum off. SFX of a plane. Sanders screams (she's scared of the dark). 

Did you actually call 

SFX of plane crash. 

JONES 

,.._ 

._.... 

....... 

.__, 

 

"'-' 

\_,; 

 

I-, 

46

The Search 

Eve Swanton 



The Plays 

It is the middle of the night. The scene takes place in a forest, and everything is 

covered in a thick coat of snow. Three teenagers, RILEY, LYN and ASHLEY, walk 

onstage. All three are holding flashlights. 

Haley! Are you there? 

LYN 

It's no use. We've looked everywhere. 

(RILEY rolls her eyes.) 

ASHLEY 

Of course you would say that. 

RILEY 

(ASHLEY ignores this. LYN glares at RILEY angrily. ASHLEY turns to LYN and 

RILEY with a shy smile.) 

Long Pause. 

ASHLEY 

So ... it's really nice to meet other friends of Haley's ... 

RILEY 

Yeah. Because you were such a good friend of Haley's. 

(She says this with all the sarcasm she could muster. LYN jabs her elbow into 

RILEY's side, then turns to ASHLEY, smiling warmly.) 

LYN 

Don't worry about her, she's just been pretty agitated since this whole thing went 

down. I guess the journey from Wichita was hard on her. 

(LYN laughs awkwardly. ASHLEY looks flustered, not swayed by Lyn's attempt to 

stop an argument.) 

ASHLEY 

Even if we did have some bumps in the road, I still care about her. If I didn't care, I 

wouldn't be out in the woods at midnight, in the middle of winter looking for her, but 

here I am. Is that not enough for you? 

47



The Plays 

(RILEY laughs bitterly.) 

RILEY 

Some bumps in the road? Are you out of your mind? You're not seriously 

downplaying what you did to her, right? 

(ASHLEY looks away.) 

LYN 

Riley, cut it out. This is the seventh time you tried to start an argument since we got 

here. We just need to focus on the search, and hopefully find Haley. We can solve 

this later. 

ASHLEY 

I agree with Lyn, we can solve this once we find Haley. 

Pause. 

'-- 

... 

LYN 

Should we keep going or not? We've looked everywhere. 

ASHLEY 

Yeah, I think we should go back. It's the middle of the night. What if my parents 

notice we're gone? Or Marfa? They'd freak out, especially Maria, after all that 

happened ... 

RILEY 

Ah jeez, don't act like you care about Marfa's feelings when it's convenient for you. 

You've already caused her enough pain after that little bump in the road. 

(LYN glares at RILEY again.) 

ASHLEY 

Listen, all I'm saying is that Marfa already lost her child, and stressing her out more 

will only be bad for everyone. And besides, we're going to freeze to death before we 

ever find Haley in this weather. Maybe we should leave the work to the search 

parties. 

-., 

- 

'-J 

\...J 

RILEY 

Yeah, maybe you're right. Maybe you should go home so you could leave this thing 

be! Then, you can finally go back to your friend Sonia and have a really damn swell 

I..., 

....J 

48 

...J



The Plays 

time, and you can just sit around and bask in just how damn cool you are, and how 

happy you are that you don't have to deal with Haley anymore. 

Riley! Shut up! 

(ASHLEY is getting visibly angrier.) 

LYN 

ASHLEY 

I've been trying to cut ties with Sonia since this happened, so maybe you can shove 

your superiority complex up your/ 

RILEY 

Oh, I'm sorry, I'm the one with the superiority complex? Please remind me, oh great 

arbiter of morals, who was the one who pretended to care about Haley only to ditch 

her for the sake of your own popularity quest? And another thing, don't think I 

haven't seen you texting Sonia the entire time we were here. If anyone's the bad guy 

here, it's you. 

ASHLEY 

You know nothing about this, okay? I know I messed up, and I know I hurt Haley, but 

that doesn't mean you get to control who I'm friends with! Haley and I were just 

drifting apart, and you've made it clear that you're only here to make me out to be 

the bad guy! 

Guys, calm I down! 

LYN 

RILEY 

Drifting apart!? That's what you call it? She heard your conversation with Sonia. She 

heard everything you two said. 

Riley. 

(RILEY begins mimicking ASHLEY.) 

LYN 

RILEY 

"She's just so damn weird, you know? God, I just can't stick her anymore. You know 

she still watches cartoons, right? What age is she? She keeps following me around 

49



The Plays 

everywhere, it's so annoying." 

Listen, Riley/ 

ASHLEY 

RILEY 

"I just wish I could get rid of that goddamn freak." 

ASHLEY 

SHUT UP! You know nothing about what happened, so shut up! You have no idea 

how horrible Sonia can be if you're not on her side! I never meant for Haley to hear 

all of that, or for everything to spiral out of control, so just leave me alone! 

(RILEY and LYN look shocked. ASHLEY looks at the ground.) 

' - 

If you guys find Haley ... tell her I'm sorry. She// 

Beat. 

I don't know if I can face her after what I did. 

(ASHLEY begins to walk away.) 

Ashley, wait... 

RILEY 

(ASHLEY walks offstage.) Pause. (LYN begins to clap slowly.) 

LYN 

Congratulations, you freaking moron. Are you happy now? 

RILEY 

Lyn, I know I messed up, but how was I supposed to know/ 

LYN 

Well, you should've thought about the possibility that you don't know everything 

before you tried to start a fight. Have you ever stopped to think about that? Do you 

ever stop to think at all before running your mouth and causing trouble!? 

(LYN is tearing up. RILEY notices, and begins to panic.) 

....... 

I....,., 

-- 

"--' 

'--' 

w 

1...1 

50

RILEY 



The Plays 

Lyn, I'm sorry! I didn't think she really cared that much after what Haley told me/ 

LYN 

Just shut up, okay? Shut up! I don't wanna hear it! I'm done with you screwing this 

up! It's bad enough that Haley's gone, and now you're driving away the one person 

who wants to help us! And now, we're probably never gonna see her again! 

(LYN begins to walk away too. Suddenly, Riley's phone starts ringing. She checks 

who it is.) 

Lyn. 

RILEY 

What is it now? 

LYN 

We need to find Ashley. 

RILEY 

Riley, what are you talking about? 

(LYN begins to walk towards RILEY.) 

LYN 

Who's/ 

(LYN looks at Riley's phone.) 

LYN 

No way. 

LYN 

It's Haley. 

RILEY 

51



The Plays 

night watchman 

Roisin Faughnan 

An old and dingy warehouse. Two boys, ELLIOT and JAMES, enter with backpacks 

and torches. JAMES looks very neNous. The warehouse floor is stacked with crates 

and boxes, dusty and cobwebbed. ELLIOT shines his torch onto one of the crates. 

,_ 

ELLIOT 

What's this? "Assorted tools". That could be anything. 

 

What does this place even store? 

ELLIOT looks at a few of the other crates. 

JAMES 

- 

ELLIOT 

"Miscellaneous equipment" ... "81D-G004" ... and this one just says "Excess". 

Excess what? 

Body parts. 

Shut up! 

ELLIOT laughs. 

JAMES 

ELLIOT 

JAMES 

.._. 

- 

...... 

- 

JAMES 

Could you not be so loud? We are trespassing / you know. 

ELLIOT 

Oh, calm down, would you? Nobody is going to hear us. Who stays at work until 

midnight? Especially if they work in a creepy, abandoned warehouse. 

Beat. 

\..J 

 

._, 

52 

\...)



The Plays 

The key word there being abandoned. 

ELLIOT 

JAMES 

That's another thing, actually - why did it have to be midnight? This place is creepy 

enough in the daytime. 

That's kind of the point. 

He moves to the middle of the room. 

ELLIOT 

ELLIOT 

We are here, after all, because of the "spooky goings-on". 

Beat. 

Besides, isn't this something rambunctious teenage boys are supposed to do? 

Trespassing? 

JAMES 

You're not saying you believe all the weird stories, are you? 

ELLIOT 

Well - no. Still, it's pretty easy to believe now. In the dark. 

So you're just here for the ambience. 

JAMES 

I suppose. 

ELLIOT 

JAMES makes an annoyed noise, then moves towards ELLIOT. 

JAMES 

As long as we're here, give me your biscuits. I know you brought some. 

53



The Plays 

ELLIOT laughs and reaches for his bag, moving to sit down on one of the crates. 

Don't touch the boxes! 

JAMES 

Why not? 

ELLIOT 

You know why! This place is ... wrong. 

JAMES 

Oh, shut up. 

He kicks one of the crates. 

ELLIOT 

Elliot! 

JAMES 

ELLIOT 

Calm down, would you? This place is abandoned. 

..... 

JAM ES (looking around nervously) 

Yeah, but. .. with all the people going missing, I just think we should/ be careful. 

That's rubbish. 

ELLIOT 

.._, 

--- 

JAMES 

It's not! Ella Kennedy's been gone for two months! 

\-.I 

.._, 

She's probably fine. She's just run off. 

ELLIOT 

54



The Plays 

Elliot, please / 

JAMES 

So, what, you think the spiders got her? 

ELLIOT 

I don't// That's just a story, Elliot. 

JAMES 

Then why are you so scared? 

ELLIOT 

JAMES doesn't answer. ELLIOT grins at him. 

ELLIOT 

You don't even know the real story, do you? 

I // Elliot, is this really the time I 

JAMES 

ELLIOT 

This is the perfect time. 

The lights dim. When the scene reappears, ELLIOT and JAMES sit in the middle of 

the room. There seem to be more cobwebs on the walls and boxes than they were 

before. The boys are oblivious to this, though JAMES looks more nervous than ever. 

So what do you actually know? 

ELLIOT 

JAMES 

Well, I've heard of the grotesque murders, obviously. 

He laughs nervously. ELLIOT smiles in a slightly worrying way. 

JAMES 

55



The Plays 

And then, like you said before, there's the ... the spiders. 

Beat. 

I really don't like spiders. 

JAMES 

ELLIOT 

Aww, is little James scared that the horrible creepy-crawlies are going to get him? 

JAMES 

It's not// Look, how about you shut up? 

- 

ELLIOT 

Ha. Do you want me to tell you about it or not? 

Pause. 

Fine. 

Pause. 

JAMES 

ELLIOT 

You've heard of Adam Skinner, of course. He's practically a town legend. Our very 

own ghost story, imagine. 

Beat. 

'- 

'- 

ELLIOT 

He worked here-in this very warehouse we're standing in. Skinner's job wasn't 

anything special-just maintenance. He supervised deliveries, cleaned floors, and it 

was his job to lock up at night, once everyone had gone home. 

ELLIOT gestures around the empty room. 

 

 

 

ELLIOT 

...., 

56 

l-J



The Plays 

Not a very friendly place to be after dark, is it? I mean, this was back when it was just 

another warehouse, but still. It did some weird things to him. 

Beat. 

ELLIOT 

He started taking on several other duties along with his cleaning job. Stuff that would 

mean he could stay back well after dark. Soon he was the only one left in this huge, 

creepy building all night. 

Beat. 

ELLIOT 

There always seemed to be more spiderwebs around after Skinner finished his shift. 

JAMES looks nervously around at the cobwebs on the boxes around him. A faint 

scuttling sound makes him jump. ELLIOT doesn't appear to notice. He is pacing the 

warehouse floor, gesturing wildly as he tells the story. 

When he disappeared / 

ELLIOT 

Disappeared? 

JAMES 

ELLIOT 

Yeah. There he was in the evening, saying goodbye to his co-workers and preparing 

to lock up for the night, and when the sun rose? Poof. Gone. No sign of him. 

Beat. 

ELLIOT 

Except for his abandoned cleaning trolley. They found that tipped over on the steps 

that led down to the basement. Covered in spiderwebs, of course. 

JAMES shudders as more scuttling noises are heard in the background, 

accompanied by a faint creak. Once again, ELLIOT is oblivious. 

57

ELLIOT 



The Plays 

Nobody liked old Skinner, though, so life went on. They cleaned out his locker and 

appointed a new guy for the night shift-Luke Sullivan. 

Beat. 

ELLIOT 

Now, the thing is, nobody but Skinner had been in the building after dark for over a 

month. So Luke, poor Luke ... 

ELLIOT laughs. 

'-' 

He was not prepared. 

ELLIOT 

Prepared for what? 

I'm getting to that. 

Pause. 

JAMES 

ELLIOT 

........ 

ELLIOT 

So one week after Adam Skinner disappeared, Luke took over his job for the first 

time. And he noticed something. 

Beat. 

ELLIOT 

There had been spiderwebs all over the place for ages-he'd had to spend ages 

cleaning them away. But for the first time, he realised that there were no spiders. At 

least, none he could see. 

Beat. 

.__, 

...... 

1,-,i 

i....J 

ELLIOT 

...... 

58 

'-'



The Plays 

The webs led off in this twisting, gauzy trail through the warehouse, going down 

corridors and through doors that Luke could swear had never been there before. 

Finally they led to the crude stone steps that went down into the basement. 

Beat. 

ELLIOT 

The handrail was buried under reams of grey cobwebs. Now, Luke started to see the 

spiders-tiny, skittering little things, but so many of them! 

The scuttling and creaking are very loud now. A hissing sound and a clacking, like 

teeth, can also be heard. An indistinct dark shape becomes visible above the boys' 

heads. 

Elliot, did you / hear that? 

ELLIOT ignores him. 

JAMES 

ELLIOT 

The spiders were all going to the basement, and Luke didn't have the good sense to 

turn around and leave right then. Instead, he followed them. 

Another creak. The dark shape becomes clearer, and we can see it has many, many 

eyes. 

I think ... I think we should/ 

JAMES 

ELLIOT 

They found Luke's body in the morning. It was a husk by that stage-dried out, 

bloodless flesh and bones filled with clinging cobwebs where the marrow should 

have been. 

JAMES starts to scoot backwards, trying to get away from the looming figure above 

him. 

ELLIOT 

59



The Plays 

They pulled out his fingernails. His hands were caked in dried blood, And of course, 

more webs. 

Beat. 

ELLIOT 

Adam Skinner is still listed as missing. But, well, everyone knows, don't they? He 

was always a weird one. 

Suddenly, the figure hanging from the ceiling becomes clear. It's a huge mass of 

spiders, crouched in a gigantic web. Suspended among them is the body of a man in 

grey overalls. JAMES screams. ELLIOT glances up at the spiders, smiling. 

,.._ 

.,_ 

'-- 

ELLIOT 

I guess that makes two of us-right, Skinner? 

END 

--- 

 

...... 

L.-1 

\-,I 

L...; 

60

Jack Leahy 

The Fall 



The Plays 

This short play is set in a fantasy world now called At/an. This world is quite different 

from our own. In At/an, there are individuals with spirits strong enough to control the 

five natural elements of the world; Earth, Fire, Water, Air and Life. The mighty 

Hohteka Empire has ruled this world for thousands of years, usually with an iron fist. 

Overpopulation became an extremely pressing issue in Hohteka society, and so the 

Leader ordered the creation of a new continent, a paradise for Hohtekas. Six of the 

most powerful mages, one of whom was called Atlas, were gathered to perform a 

ritual that would create this new continent- however a sacrifice had to be made. 

Pronunciations: 

Hohteka = Ho-tehk-ah 

Hesper = Hez-pehr 

THE SURVIVOR 

A lone straggler hobbles through the rubble, towards a figure shrouded by dust. In a 

hoarse voice. 

Y-you there! I thought everyone was ... how did you survive? I haven't seen a friendly 

face in ... 

ATLAS 

They turn, their face split by a manic smile. 

I thought I killed you all. 

THE SURVIVOR 

He steps back. 'What. .. I Who are you?/ DID YOU DO THIS?!" 

ATLAS 

Yes. Yes, I think I did. 

Beat. 

It looks so much better. No more of your kind crawling around like bugs. No more 

filthy cities. No more! 

61



The Plays 

THE SURVIVOR 

Those earthquakes and floods and hurricanes and/ DO YOU REALISE HOW MANY 

YOU KILLED? 

ATLAS 

My friends, the mages, were awfully generous in lending me their power. 

Atlas laughs. The Survivor stretches out his arms and clenches his hands into .half 

formed fists. Atlas falls to the ground, their breathing strained. 

.. _ 

.._. 

.. ' 

ATLAS 

They flick their hand lazily and stand up. 

I see that you are like me ... but it has been- a long time- since I've been weak- like 

that. Not any more. 

.._. 

I'm NOTHING like you! 

THE SURVIVOR (flinches) 

'-' 

ATLAS 

Correct. You don't know pain. You don't know what it feels like, what I went through. 

I 

And your feeble trick there ... was nothing. 

THE SURVIVOR 

Shut- up. I don't want to hear your little sob story. 

ATLAS 

The alternative is death. You really aren't in any position to mock me./ It's almost 

funny. 

Atlas laughs maniacally. 

'--' 

'--' 

,._, 

I-a 

L-.a 

THE SURVIVOR 

..... 

62 

w



The Plays 

You're crazy. You killed every damn Hohteka on this continent and you're just 

laughing!? STOP SMILING! 

Beat 

So, are you going to kill me too?! 

ATLAS 

Smiling helps me. They say that when you smile, the pain is lessened. I think it's 

working./ 

Ah yes ... the matter of your continued existence ... I guess I'm keeping you alive 

because I need someone to talk to. To explain why I did all this, before I kill you. I 

think that there are some surviving slave-humans, but they really aren't smart 

enough to understand these kinds of concepts. Even you probably won't understand 

me. I don't expect you to. I am beyond your experience. I am beyond your good and 

evil ... I no longer believe in the hypocritical dogma of this self-proclaimed civilised 

Empire ... the Empire that I just tore down. 

THE SURVIVOR 

Or ... maybe you've done something you regret, but you've gone too far, and can't 

undo it. It was revenge, wasn't it? 

Beat 

Someone took something from you. 

ATLAS 

I don't regret it! They needed to be punished. All of them- especially Him. This 

empire was a gluttonous snake- and He was its head. I cut off the head of the snake. 

Atlas laughs. 

THE SURVIVOR 

You killed the Leader!? You're just another anarchist, albeit one that got lucky. 

ATLAS 

63

Flghting Words 


The Plays 

I killed Him! He was there, and I. . ./ 

I must have. He was right there. There was an explosion, dust. ... I killed Him. He's 

dead! 

Pause. 

Atlas turns away and screams at the sky; 

ATLAS 

I KILLED HIM! I KILLED HIM. 

WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER!? HE SLAUGHTERED HESPER IN THAT RITUAL! ALL 

FOR HIS ENDLESS GREED!" 

Beat 

WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER IT! WHY CAN'T I REMEMBER KILLING HIM!?/ 

WHERE IS THE PLEASURE, THE PLEASURE OF CHOKING THAT SO CALLED 

LEADER, BURNING HIM, RIPPING HIM, TEARING HIM, CRUSHING HIM, 

CUTTING HIM!!! HE KILLED HESPER! YOU KILLED HESPER!" 

Atlas looks around at the Survivor, who seems to have been dead for some time, his 

blood dried on the ground. 

ATLAS 

Where is everybody? Where are they?! 

They look to the charred hills and see a group of humans. 

.._ 

- 

.. • 

 

.._ 

- 

...... 

..... 

ATLAS 

They won't leave me. They can't leave me. I will show them peace. I will be their 

Leader! 

Lightning splits the sky and the humans look upon Atlas; now a bloody, grotesque 

figure. They run in terror. 

..... 

 

End 

'-' 

'-" 

.._. 

64 

u

Esfera 

Eva Garayalde 



The Plays 

JAY is a sixteen-year-old trainee witch working in a magic supplies shop. The shop 

is bright and not cluttered. The till is in front of several rows of shelves, on which are 

various bottles, wires, twigs, bags and mysterious lumps of rock. As the scene opens 

JAY is standing behind the till, reading a book, alone in the shop. She is visibly 

bored. She wears a badge emblazoned with her full name- Jayne Olwood- and the 

cheery, optimistic message 'here and happy to help!'. JAY appears to be neither 

overtly cheerful nor mentally present. When a customer- fifteen-year-old LIBBYenters, 

it takes her several seconds to look up from her book. 

Pronunciation: 

Aztoryn: az-TOR-in 

Cerendon: SER-un-dun 

Alyren: AI-IR-un 

Technomancer: TEK-no-man-ser Technomancy: TEK-no-man-see 

JAY (in a practised tone) 

Hello, my name is Jay, welcome to Speedwell's Magic Supplies. How can I help 

you? 

LIBBY 

Uh, hi. I'm Libby. I've got quite a list of stuff-? 

JAY finally emerges from behind the till and comes to stand in front of LIBBY. JAY: 

That's fine- (she points to her badge) - here to help. Can I take a look? LIBBY pulls a 

list from her pocket. 

Here you go. 

LIBBY 

Thanks. 

JAY 

JAY silently reads through the list, frowning. 

Interesting mix. 

JAY 

Yeah. I'm a technomancer, so- 

LIBBY 

65



The Plays 

.. 

JAY ( cheerfully) 

So lots of weird shopping. Yeah, my mum's a technomancer. I think we've got all this 

in stock- (wearily) I had to sort the shelves this morning, so I should know. If you 

want to follow me-? 

Sure. 

LIBBY 

Whilst JAY is focused on finding the items on the list, LIBBY is visibly excited by the 

other items for sale. She picks up a small book with a worn leather cover and is 

about to open it. 

..._ 

.... _ 

JAY 

I wouldn't do that- bloody thing's cursed. It's been an absolute nightmare, what with 

the insurance issues. 

--- 

Oh, okay. 

Beat. 

Yikes. 

LIBBY 

LIBBY gingerly places the book back on the shelf, whilst JAY takes a roll of wire from 

the shelves opposite. 

,._. 

JAY 

That's one thing down. Here's your copper wire. 

LIBBY (taking the wire and placing it in her bag) 

Thanks. I haven't been able to find that anywhere else. 

........ 

.__. 

...... 

JAY 

Yeah, there's been, like, trade problems with it I think. 

Beat. 

New customs rules. 

LIBBY (concernedly) 

Do you think I'd be able to bring it to Aztoryn? 

I_,; 

'-' 

1...1 

..... 

1,-,i 

66 

w

JAY 



The Plays 

Probably, yeah. I mean, you might want to ask someone who knows a bit more 

about it. 

Pause. 

JAY 

Hang on. Aztoryn. Isn't there a big technomancer competition there in a few weeks? 

LIBBY 

There is. I've, uh, been invited to represent Cerendon Under-18s. 

JAY (taking a small bag from the shelf and handing it to LIBBY) 

Good on you! What're you doing for it? 

LIBBY 

It's a device that can make a tree grow anywhere, instantly. You know how unstable 

magic is getting without enough trees to balance it? Well, that's what I'm trying to 

tackle, but it's not working yet; I think it II 

There is a flash of blinding white light, accompanied simultaneously by a loud 

thunderclap. JAY grabs LIBBY and they duck down in-between the shelves. Heavy 

rain can be heard pouring down, battering the windows. 

What the hell// what was that? 

LIBBY (covering her ears) 

JAY 

I don't know- stay down. It might be dangerous. 

LIBBY 

I don't II bloody hell that was II was that an explosion? 

JAY 

Didn't sound like one. What was the weather like when you came in? LIBBY: A bit 

cloudy. How is that relevant? 

JAY 

If you'd stop covering your ears, you'd notice that it sounds like a thunderstorm. 

67



The Plays 

LIBBY cautiously uncovers her ears. 

You're right. That's really weird. 

LIBBY 

.__ 

I.. - 

I'm gonna go check it out. 

JAY makes her way to the window. 

JAY 

JAY 

Yeah, it looks like some sort of magically generated storm ... probably best to wait it 

out; it could get worse really quickly. 

LIBBY is not listening. Instead, she is picking up and examining a large wooden 

sphere. JAY notices LIBBY's lack of response and turns back towards her. 

.__ 

..... 

Hey! What're you doing with that? 

JAY 

'-- 

LIBBY 

Sorry, I'm// it just fell out of your bag, I thought it looked/ a bit... JAY: Wait, what's 

happening? 

The sphere in LIBBY's hands has started to glow slightly and is emitting a quiet 

humming noise. LIBBY appears startled, and gingerly places it back on the floor. 

JAY quickly walks over and picks the sphere up. It stops glowing and humming. She 

places it back on the ground. As this is happening, the sound of the storm diminishes 

until all is silent outside the shop. However, neither JAY nor LIBBY notice. 

'-' 

._. 

'-- 

What the hell? 

JAY (to herself) 

...... 

What happened there? 

LIBBY (hesitantly) 

1...,1 

..... 

I've not got the foggiest idea. 

Beat. 

Try picking it up again. 

JAY 

'-' 

L..., 

._. 

68

LIBBY does so. The sphere promptly resumes its glowing and humming. 



The Plays 

I think it likes you. 

JAY 

LIBBY 

But what even is it? It feels like it should be magitech, but/ I 

JAY 

It is magitech. Very old magitech, specifically. It's been passed down the generations 

of my family for at least seven hundred years. 

A pause, as they both eye the sphere apprehensively. 

Seven hundred years!? 

LIBBY 

JAY 

Yeah. The story is that seven hundred years ago, when Cerendon was basically just 

a village, my many-times-great-grandmother was out in the old forest- you know, the 

last of it was chopped down about a decade ago- and it was after a storm. A big 

branch of this huge old oak tree, which had always been there, had come down. She 

made that out of it. After that, the tree started to lose more and more branches until it 

looked more like a shrub. 

Do you know what it does? 

LIBBY 

JAY 

No, but I know it's powerful- although it's certainly never done that before. 

Supposedly, it contains all the magic of that oak tree. 

Beat. 

JAY 

I think this might be linked to what you're trying to do. 

LIBBY 

How is that possible? You said yourself, it's been around for hundreds of years. JAY: 

I did. But magic has ways of knowing when these things will be needed. 

69



The Plays 

You think? 

LIBBY 

JAY 

Look. How far've you got with your device? 

'--' 

It's // well, it's nearly there. 

LIBBY 

JAY 

Anything missing at all? Are you stuck on anything? 

._ 

LIBBY 

Well, it's sort of missing a power source. 

JAY 

You// you seriously// you haven't got a power source yet? Really? 

LIBBY 

It's really tricky to find anything that will work with a device like this- one that will help 

grow a tree. I think it's because it's creating something organic, as opposed to, say, 

turning something into gold. Or building a wall out of a few pebbles, or any of the 

other dull projects which were in this month's Technomancy Innovations magazine. 

It's all about manufacturing stuff with magic. I've tried magic crystals, weird carved 

stones, any highly magical relic you can think of. Hell, I even tried a bucket of mud 

from the swamps of Alyren. There's nothing about how to do this- people just don't 

make stuff grow with magitech! They all think we still need rituals and wands and the 

light of the full moon to grow a tree! 

...... 

 

,__ 

JAY 

I see what you mean. I don't think I've ever heard of a device similar to this. LIBBY: 

Can I buy the sphere? How much do you want for it? 

'--' 

It's not for sale. 

JAY 

Oh, I/ 

LIBBY 

'--' 

70 

'--'



The Plays 

JAY 

It's not for sale, and I can't just give it away- especially not without my family 

knowing- but what we could do is I could partner with you on the project. 

LIBBY 

That would be brilliant! I really think this might work, you know. 

JAY grins. 

Me too. 

Wait, did you hear that? JAY: What? 

JAY 

LIBBY 

The storm's stopped. 

LIBBY 

They both turn to look out of the window. Outside, it is sunny, and leaves can be 

seen falling from trees. 

End. 

71



The Plays 

Solomon Traynor 

Vloggers and Dragons 

(/DINA sits in the corner of a pub. She is tired, she is angry, and she is on her third 

bottle of beer. DERICKA enters the pub and spots /DINA, immediately recognising 

her. After a moment of hesitation, DERICKA makes her way across the room.) 

DERICKA 

Uhm, hello. Hi. I. .. I'm Dericka. Nice to meet you. 

... 

,__ 

Ok. Good for you. Bye. 

IDINA 

(/DINA stands, and moves to another seat. DERICKA follows, sitting beside her. 

/DINA groans.) 

 

DERICKA 

You're ... You're ldina, right? From the Hero House? I've not missed a single video, 

that channel is so/ good. 

IDINA 

Formerly. Formerly from the Hero House. 

DERICKA 

Formerly? What// when did you leave? 

...... 

- 

IDINA 

An hour ago. And I didn't leave. They kicked me off. 

(DERICKA gasps loudly.) 

""'-' 

DERICKA 

No! 

1.....1 

IDINA 

Yes. 

 

I-. 

DERICKA 

72



The Plays 

No way, they couldn't have! 

IDINA 

Yes way, they could have. And they did. 

DERICKA 

No! You were the best one! 

IDINA 

Would you please be quiet? My head is killing me. 

DERICKA 

Maybe don't drink as much then. 

(DERICK.A gestures to the empty bottles.) 

IDINA 

And where would be the fun in that? 

DERICKA 

I mean, reducing your chance of liver disease sounds pretty fun to me. 

(/DINA grunts.) 

DERICKA 

So why did you get kicked off the team? 

IDINA 

I slayed a dragon. 

DERICKA 

Didn't you guys like, slay dragons all the time? Most of what you did was killing evil 

dragons and plundering treasure. 

IDINA 

Yup. Slaying and stealing was like, our whole deal. 

73



The Plays 

DERICKA 

And you got in trouble for slaying one because? 

IDINA 

It was a nice dragon. Apparently. 

DERICKA 

Well, you weren't to know that. 

IDINA 

Nah, they'd told me like, a week beforehand. I just forgot. Anyways, a dragon is a 

dragon, they all suck. I hate dragons. 

........ 

.. . 

DERICKA 

I mean, it's rather unreasonable to assume that all dragons would be the same. I'm 

sure that there are plenty of nice ones. 

IDINA 

Name one. Name one nice dragon. 

□ERICKA 

Well, I met one once at Glastonbury, Andrew they were called, and they were really 

quite pleasant. We kept in touch for a while. 

IDINA 

Deception! Dragons deceive, they trick. They make you think you've got a friend and 

then they gobble you up. Norn nom nom, you're dead. 

DERICKA 

Andrew is vegan. 

._. 

 

- 

......, 

1-J 

IDINA 

Further deception! 

(DERICKA is about to speak but stops herself.) 

i.-J 

IDINA 

'-- 

74



The Plays 

Look, it's fine! I didn't need those losers. Making videos was getting boring anyways. 

Sponsors always breathing down our necks. God, the amount of times I had to 

casually mention Audible while impaling a cyclops. Got frustrating after a while. I've 

had enough of the "hero" rubbish. I'd rather eat a turd than do that again. 

DERICKA 

Well. 

(Pause) 

DERICKA 

Well, what if I became your partner? 

IDINA 

What? 

DERICKA 

What if, you and me, what if we made a YouTube channel together? And filmed our 

quests! Just like the Hero House! 

!DINA 

And do what? Prance in the tulips and slay dragons with the power of love? You'd 

need a weapon for a start. 

DERICKA 

I'm a doctor actually! My parents said it was that or law school, and really, lawyers 

aren't exactly beaming beacons of heroism. So doctor it was. Plus I know how to use 

a spear. I took a Zoom course on it. I think I'd be a worthy addition to any party of 

noble heroes! 

(DERICKA smiles confidently, but the smile is interrupted by the obnoxious laugh of 

/DINA) 

IDINA 

Party of noble heroes? You can't be in a party with two people, mate. 

DERICKA 

We could always get more then. 

75

IDINA 



The Plays 

Ah yes, a recruitment drive. Sounds fun. Great idea. Let's do it! I'd love to be in a 

new team. We'll boot up Twitter and see who wants to slaughter some monsters. Go 

onto Linked In, scour the depths of Reddit, and stick up flyers around the city. 

(/DINA said this with all the sarcasm she could muster.) 

!DINA Seeya. Bye. 

(/DINA swigs the last of her drink before standing, and making her way outside. 

DERICKA follows her out. /DINA turns to face her.) 

!DINA 

Ok, what now? 

.__ 

DERICKA 

I have a book. 

!DINA 

Good for you. 

(DERICKA pulls out a heavy book and shows it to ldina.) 

!DINA 

Marty McGuffin's Bumper Book of Quests? 

DERICKA 

Yes! I got it last weekend. Had a book token left over from Christmas. It's filled with 

maps and treasure and monsters and/ guides. 

IDINA 

The cover says, "For ages 6-12." 

.__, 

 

1.-J 

DERICKA 

I'm aware of that! But that doesn't mean it isn't true! 

(/DINA puts a hand on DERICKA 'S shoulder.) 

1...1 

.__, 

IDINA 

Listen. Jessica/ 

....., 

76



The Plays 

DERICKA 

Dericka. 

IDINA 

Dericka. It's really cool that you want to do this. It is, it really is. But you need to 

understand something. 

DERICKA 

Yes? 

IDINA 

You need to leave me the hell alone. 

(/DINA walks a short distance away, turning her back to DERICKA. DERICKA looks 

distraught.) 

DERICKA 

But// But 1// But you've gotta help me. 

IDINA 

I don't. I really don't. 

DERICKA 

I've wanted to be a hero for ages. And then I found your channel, and I was like, 

wow, this girl, she's just like me. But she's doing it! She's actually going out there 

and doing stuff! Not just sitting at home all day, wishing she could be somewhere 

else. Someone else. And then you joined the Hero House and you had this amazing 

team, and you were unstoppable and incredible and beautiful. Whenever I watched 

those videos, I felt like I could do anything. Be anyone. Because you were living the 

dream, my dream. And now I've found you, and it feels like the stars are aligning. I'm 

telling you, I think we could be incredible if we worked together. I know we could. 

IDINA 

And how the hell do you know that? 

DERICKA 

I feel it in my stomach. When something big happens, I get a funny feeling in my 

stomach. 

77



The Plays 

IDINA 

There's a word for that. Constipation. 

(/DINA sighs) 

IDINA 

Look, you think you know me. But you don't. Doesn't matter how many videos you've 

seen, or how many posts you liked, none of that shit matters. I am a stranger. You 

are a stranger. Don't act like there's some big destiny here, because trust me, 

destiny is just a load of crap. No such thing. I am not your friend. I will never be your 

friend. So do us both a favour and bugger off. 

(DERICKA looks deeply upset, on the verge of tears. She puts her book back into 

her bag and dashes off. /DINA stands alone for a moment. She regains composure, 

and follows.) 

...... 

(Next day, DERICKA is alone in her hotel room, reading the book. She hears a 

knock. She opens the door to see /DINA.) 

DERICKA 

ldina?! 

IDINA 

Hi. Followed you back to your hotel. Then went back to mine to sleep. And then 

came here. I didn't sleep in the corridor. Duh. I probably didn't need to explain that 

though. I don't know why I did. Sorry. Wait, why do you live in a hotel? 

(IDINA seems tired, but significantly more upbeat, bordering on manic. DERICKA 

smiles to herself. This was more like the person she was used to watching.) 

'---' 

'-' 

DERICKA 

I'm on my holidays. 

'-' 

1-J 

IDINA 

In Bristol? 

'-' 

'--' 

DERICKA 

I like the harbour festival! Wait a minute, how did you get this far into the hotel? 

There's security. 

1-, 

1.....1 

78

IDINA 



The Plays 

Basically I told the receptionist I was your wife, and there'd been a medical 

emergency. If anyone asks, you broke a rib in a baking accident. Can I come in? 

(DERICKA nods, and /DINA enters.) 

IDINA 

I'm sorry about yesterday night. I wasn't exactly stable. Completely not me. I just// I'd 

just seen my career destroyed because of my own stupidity. Everything was bleak 

and awful and I was taking my anger out on anything I could. And you showed up, 

and I just berated you while you spilled your guts. I didn't show you a scrap of 

respect. 

DERICKA 

It's ok. I get it. I was bothering you and I should have left you/ alone. 

IDINA 

No. There is no excuse for bad behaviour. Unless its in direct response to other bad 

behaviour. But you weren't behaving badly, you were behaving goodly. I mean well. 

Goodly isn't a word. I mean, not as far as 1// Agh, sorry, distracted. Listen. About 

your proposal. 

DERICKA 

Yeah? What about it? 

IDINA 

That stuff you said// Well, what I remember of it// I get it. Completely. I remember 

wanting to be a hero when I was little. There was this guy I watched on the telly all 

the time, lsambard something-or-other. He was amazing. He quit eventually, but I 

always wished he'd come back. That he'd be a hero again. I cried for three hours 

when he announced his retirement. And I realised when you left last night that hey, 

maybe that's how you feel. Maybe you see me, for god knows what reason, as a role 

model. And if I give up, you feel like you should give up. Like how I felt when 

lsambard quit. So after a good night's rest, and a lot of thinking, I'm in. 

DERICKA 

You're in? 

IDINA 

Yup. I'm in. 

79



The Plays 

DERICKA 

You ... you want to go on an adventure? With me? 

L • 

IDINA 

Absolutely. We can start our own channel and get it filmed all the way. I know a 

demon who's brilliant at cinematography. 

DERICKA 

Wow! Oh wow! Oh my god! This is real, right? This isn't a joke? 

IDINA 

No jokes, no japes. 

L • 

...... 

DERICKA 

Thank you so so so so much! 

(DERICK.A pulls /DINA into a bear hug.) 

..__. 

DERICKA 

Ok. Wow. So much to do. So much to plan. We need to choose a quest. 

(/DINA picks up the book and flicks to a random page.) 

IDINA 

Let me see. Got it! The perfect thing! 

DERICKA 

Oooh, what is it? 

IDINA 

If this book is to be trusted, there's this thing called "The Icosahedron of Fate." A 

powerful object, said to twist fate to the user's will. .. or turn it against them. It's 

located, hmmmmm, approximately half an hour from here by bus. 

....... 

....... 

....... 

..-J 

-....... 

 

DERICKA 

That's convenient! 

L-. 

1...-.1 

80



The Plays 

IDINA 

So what do you say, are we a team? Wanna get going? 

DERICKA 

Wait, wait. We're rushing into this. We need to take some time, ok? Slow and steady 

wins the race. You were right about one thing yesterday. We're strangers. We need 

to get to know each other 

IDINA 

Yes. True. How about dinner? We can sort out our plans then. You know the Italian 

place in Broadmead? 

DERICKA 

I think so? 

IDINA 

Great! So yeah, I have to do some stuff today, so see you there at// let's say// 7:30? 

DERICKA 

7:30 is good. 

IDINA 

Fab, it's a date! Seeya! 

(/DINA gives DERICKA a quick salute, and heads out the door. Almost immediately 

she re-enters.) 

IDINA 

By the way, you're paying. 

DERICKA 

Wait/ what? 

IDINA (hurriedly) 

Thank you so much bye! 

(she dashes off) 

81

,-, 

Z8 

,-, 

,......, 

,-, 

-, 

-, 

pu3 

SABld 9lU 

z:z:oz;-z:oz: SJ46pMABld 6unOA 

SpJOM 6U!J46!

f"'I 

,, 

1 

1 

1 

7 

1 

1 

7 

1 

1 

7 

1 

1 

1 

1 

7 

1 

1 

1 

1

,......, 

......, 

,.......

Mermaid

Create successful ePaper yourself

Delete template?

Save as template?