RACE NIGHT - Suited & Booted

THE GOBLIN
One morning a woman was walking out of her
front door, when she noticed a strange little
man at the bottom of her garden.
“You’re a goblin,” she says, “I caught you and
you owe me three wishes!”. So the goblin
replies “OK, you caught me fair and square,
what’s your first wish?”. The woman stops and
thinks for a second, “I want a huge mansion
to live in.”, goblins replies “OK, you’ve got
it.”. Woman again thinks it over, “My second
wish is a Mercedes.” “OK, you’ve got that too.”
“My last wish is a million dollars!”. The goblin
then says “OK, you’ve got it. But to make your
wishes come true you have to have sex all night
with me.” “OK then, if that’s what it takes...”
Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.
“Tell me,” says the man, “how old are you?”
“I’m 27”, she replies.
“Good grief”, says the man, “27 and you still
believe in goblins”
FUNDRAISING NIGHT
AT
THE DUKE OF YORK
Shepton Beauchamp
SAT 27th MARCH 7pm
All proceeds to go to…
RACE NIGHT – RAFFLE
AUCTION OF PLEDGES
Please come along and support
this worthy cause
DONATIONS WELCOME – Please Call:
07979 476512 or 01460 241499
AWKWARD CUSTOMER
Cursed with a bald head and a wooden leg,
a man is surprised to find that he has been
invited to a fancy dress party. Deciding that
he might pull it off if he wears a costume to
hide his head and leg, he writes to a theatrical
outfitters asking them for adivice.
A few days later, he gets a parcel from the firm
with a note that says, “Dear Sir, please find
enclosed a pirate’s outfit. The bandana will
cover your bald head and with your wooden
leg you will be just right as a Buccaneer.”
Unfortunately, the man finds this deeply
insulting, as they have so clearly drawn attention
to his wooden leg, so he fires off a letter
of complaint.
A week goes by before the postie delivers another
parcel with a note that reads, “Dear Sir,
sorry about our previous suggestion ... please
find enclosed a monk’s habit. The long robe
will cover your wooden leg and the hood will
hide your bald head but you will really look
the part if you don’t put the hood up.”
This drives him ballistic! They have simply
switched from drawing attention to his
wooden leg to his balding head. He fires off
another letter. The next day he receives a
tiny parcel by courier with a hastily scawled
note ... “Enclosed is a tin of treacle, pour it
over your bloody head, stick your wooden leg
up your arse and go as a toffee apple ... you
grumpy old git!”
INDIAN NAME
An old Indian was asked the name of his wife.
He replied, “Wife Name - Three Horse.”
“That’s an unusual name for your wife, Three
Horse. What does it mean?”
“It’s an old Indian name. Means Nag, Nag, Nag.”
FARMER
A farmer was driving along the road with a
load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of
his house, saw him and called, “What’ve you
got in your truck?”
“Fertilizer,” the farmer replied. “What are you
going to do with it?” asked the little boy.
“Put it on strawberries,” answered the farmer.
“You ought to live here,” the little boy advised
him. “We put sugar and cream on ours.”