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to leap forward. A talking tail certainly grabs your attention doesn’t
it? It’s brilliant.”
I had difficulty understanding what my tail was saying at first,
mostly because I was focused on leaving Marie alone for too long.
But I did try to consider if my tail was right. I thought I had a
conscience. Didn’t I?
I was standing in the middle of the men’s room staring at the
black-and-white tiled floor considering all of this when a tall guy in
a tux came in. I coughed, and then bent over to tie my shoe so he’d
think he had walked in just as I realized it was untied -- and not
that he walked in while I was talking to my rear.
My tail continued, “Don’t say anything. Think about it. In the
meantime, go back out there with Marie. Pick up where you were
before I interrupted and finish your date. And, if she seems
interested, give her a kiss goodnight. Tell her you had a great time
and that you will call her tomorrow. But do not sleep with her
tonight. As your conscience, I think that is the best course of
action.”
Sleep with her? I hadn’t even considered that that would
happen on this first date. I wanted to protest, but the tall guy was
standing right beside me at a urinal. So, I finished re-tying my shoe
and went back with Marie.
It took me a while to recover as I kept thinking about what my
tail had said. Things seemed to be going well with Marie by the
time we finished dessert.
And, I did what my tail told me. I didn’t sleep with her. I called
her the next day.
In the end, though, Marie dumped me. Or at least we didn’t get
to a second date. I think she sensed something was off with me.
How could she not, with my tail interrupting my already weakened
dating skills.
I was pissed. I was confused: a ripe moment to manipulate me.
“Okay, here’s what you need to do.” my tail offered one day.
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