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“But w<strong>here</strong> am I?”<br />
“Right t<strong>here</strong>.”<br />
“Yes, but.”<br />
“Listen, if you’re not up for the task I can send you home.”<br />
“Oh?”<br />
“Yes, through this.” Fuzzbottom held up a small tube, no<br />
bigger than a vacuum hose.<br />
“This would be the return tube. It goes directly to Earth.”<br />
“Can’t you just beam me back down?” asked Fred.<br />
“You would eventually beam down, after the initial mile<br />
through the tube. And then the additional few yards of tube on<br />
Earth. Don’t know w<strong>here</strong> on Earth, but it’s t<strong>here</strong> somew<strong>here</strong>.”<br />
“Is t<strong>here</strong> any way we can skip the tube parts of all this?”<br />
“W<strong>here</strong> would the fun be in that?”<br />
“I would probably live.”<br />
“I ask my question again.”<br />
“Oh,” said Fred, realizing that his adversary wasn’t as cute as<br />
he looked or as dimwitted as Fred had hoped.<br />
“That sure shut you up.”<br />
“Yes," said Fred. “So what can I help with?”<br />
“We’re going to need your negotiation skills when we speak<br />
with the Earth president about handing over the deeds for<br />
everyone’s lives.”<br />
“A couple of things about that could be a little problematic for<br />
you...”<br />
“Such as?”<br />
“Well, for starters, t<strong>here</strong>’s no Earth president. Each nation has<br />
its own leader.”<br />
“And how many are t<strong>here</strong>?”<br />
“Jeez, I don’t really know. A lot?”<br />
“And the other thing?”<br />
“People don’t have deeds on Earth. Well, they do. For houses<br />
and things, but not for things like servitude. At one point we did,<br />
but that’s really frowned upon now. It didn’t go well. I guess the<br />
December 2011 33