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“Right,” said the general. “Don’t really see much benefit in
that. What’s the point in taking over a new planet if I have to do
everything myself?”
“There’s also the possibility that you’ll die in the takeover.”
“Thanks. Never considered that happening. Now I’m even
more depressed.”
“Sorry.”
“You should be. I should vaporize you right now.”
Fred cowered in fear.
“Who am I kidding,” said General Fuzzbottom. “We don’t have
that kind of technology.”
“You don’t?”
“Why do you sound so surprised? Should we?”
“I thought you guys did, what with the spaceship and the
beaming down to Earth. Not to mention the tube. That thing is
terrifying. Didn’t know you could hear the victim scream the whole
way.”
“Didn’t know that either. To be honest, Nugget was the first,
uh, test subject.”
“Oh. Seems a little harsh. That’s the kind of thing you’d expect
to be private.”
“Man, we can’t even get that right. I’m blowing us all up.”
“No! Wait! Let’s not do anything crazy.”
“Now I’m crazy? What next?”
“No, I didn’t mean it like that. What if you let me go and I talk
to that guy who knows about you and get him to change his mind
about you guys. Maybe get him to start saying how awesome you
are and that forming an alliance would be beneficial for everyone.”
“That could work… No! No good. We can’t even find that
guy.”
Private Cutie-Whiskers Fuzzy-Pants ran in and said, “They’ve
found him! Captain Squeak and the rest located the second
specimen.”
December 2011 35