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O•S•C•A•R© Fida's Pizza Changes Hands - Old Ottawa South

O•S•C•A•R© Fida's Pizza Changes Hands - Old Ottawa South

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MAY 2010<br />

WINDSOR REDUX B PART 12<br />

For nearly eight years, from<br />

February 2000 to August 2008,<br />

OSCAR carried a monthly column.<br />

The Windsor Chronicles, written by<br />

Zoscha the Wonder Dog. Zoscha<br />

became something of a celebrity<br />

in our neighbourhood, and her<br />

observations on the passing scene,<br />

from a canine perspective, attracted<br />

her share of loyal readers as well as<br />

critics.<br />

OSCAR is reprinting some of<br />

Zoscha’s musings from eight years<br />

ago. The editors have annotated<br />

where we feel that today’s readers<br />

may need to be informed of<br />

references that may no longer be<br />

remembered by readers today, or<br />

where recent scholarship has shed<br />

further light on the world described<br />

in the Windsor Chronicles..<br />

May, 2001<br />

Dear Boomer,<br />

The squirrels are out, the kids<br />

are back in the playground,<br />

and even the humanoids eat<br />

outdoors.<br />

Over the past winter, my<br />

humanoids kept me outside. They<br />

provided a little house on the deck<br />

beside the back door. In recent<br />

The government was apparently<br />

organizing for the HST well before the<br />

budget vote last March.<br />

There are some sound reasons for<br />

retaining our present provincial retail<br />

sales tax rather than joining with the<br />

Federal GST system.<br />

Medical services are currently<br />

GST-exempt, and will not be subject<br />

to the HST. Being exempt, they<br />

cannot claim their input taxes back<br />

like regular businesses. As of July 1,<br />

2010, doctors, therapists, diagnostic<br />

clinics and hospitals will be required<br />

to 8% more in new Provincial taxes on<br />

their commercial rents, heating, and<br />

electrical bills. (Hospitals will receive<br />

the municipality’s rebate on HST, as<br />

they do on the GST, so they won’t<br />

be hurting as much.) These are not<br />

taxable under the present PST. This is<br />

a substantial cost, and they will have<br />

to absorb it unless OHIP coverage is<br />

increased to compensate.<br />

This makes no sense. Our medical<br />

system is paid for through our taxes<br />

and all revenue should be used for<br />

health purposes. It shouldn’t be<br />

clawed back with a major hidden tax.<br />

Our food supply is more than taxexempt;<br />

it is Zero-rated. Groceries are<br />

not taxed, but everyone from farmers<br />

up through the distribution chain get to<br />

claim the input taxes on their expenses<br />

back as well. It should be the same for<br />

our health services.<br />

Mr Naqui states that his<br />

government has cut personal income<br />

The OSCAR - OUR 37 th YEAR Page 19<br />

Eating Outdoors<br />

weeks, they’ve moved this little<br />

house into the shade under the trees<br />

by the garden. I’m not so sure I prefer<br />

it there. Perhaps when the summer<br />

weather gets really hot, I’ll see the<br />

benefits, but right now, it just keeps<br />

me too far away from the rest of the<br />

pack.<br />

That is, of course, except for<br />

those lovely evenings when the pack<br />

assembles on the deck, and my Alpha<br />

fires up the charring machine. Then<br />

the delectable smells of dinner waft<br />

across the lawn. On the soft evenings,<br />

you can lift your sniffer in the air,<br />

and tell what all the neighbours are<br />

barbecuing. At times like this, I’m<br />

sorry that the humanoids have fenced<br />

the perimeter of my territory. How<br />

wonderful if I could trot along the<br />

property lines, following the smells<br />

along the great buffet of backyard<br />

barbecues.<br />

One of my favourite things about<br />

this season: we resort to the more<br />

relaxed rules of outdoor eating. Inside<br />

the house, I’m often required to wait<br />

my turn in the spot below the kitchen<br />

counter, while the rest of the pack<br />

eats in the dining room. Only when<br />

the rest of the pack has finished am<br />

I allowed to go and glean whatever I<br />

can find.<br />

From my spot in the kitchen, I<br />

HST Opposition ... Cont’d from previous page<br />

taxes for 93% of Ontarians, “putting<br />

more money into the hands of families<br />

for them to decide how to spend it.” He<br />

doesn’t remind us that the PST will be<br />

extended to such essentials as heating<br />

fuel, electricity and gasoline. We have<br />

no choice on purchasing these, and I<br />

doubt if the reduced income taxes will<br />

compensate. Our current Provincial<br />

Sales Tax exempts necessities. This<br />

long-standing principle has been<br />

thrown out the window with the HST.<br />

Mr Naqui asserts that this is a<br />

“balanced tax package for families<br />

and businesses.” Under the present<br />

PST rules, businesses are exempt<br />

form paying the tax on goods and<br />

materials that they buy for resale, as<br />

their customers pay the 8% levy. They<br />

are only required to cover it on other<br />

expenses. I operate a small business,<br />

and regard this as a reasonable<br />

balance. We all rely on the same<br />

government services, and we are all<br />

jointly responsible for keeping them<br />

up.<br />

Under the HST, businesses will get to<br />

claim all their Provincial Input taxes<br />

back, and consumers will be taxed<br />

more to make up the shortfall. This<br />

is not equitable. As an individual, I<br />

regard businesses as neighbours. It’s<br />

not fair that the McGuinty Liberals<br />

should exempt my neighbours from<br />

a tax, and then expect me to pay it in<br />

Cont’d on next page<br />

have a good vantage point to watch the<br />

Pup, studying every morsel of meat<br />

and pasta that he inadvertently drops<br />

on the floor. As the Pup gets older,<br />

there’s a diminishing rate of return,<br />

but the quality of food improves. I<br />

would not want to go back to the days<br />

of pablum and mash, even though<br />

there was always ample spillings to<br />

go around.<br />

But in the summer, when we<br />

gather on the deck, there are different<br />

rules of proximity. I’m allowed on<br />

the deck as well and, if I don’t call too<br />

much attention to myself, they even<br />

let me haunch right down beside the<br />

Pup himself. This means being able<br />

to pick off any droppings right away,<br />

of course. And it also means that I<br />

can practice my skills at hypnotism –<br />

animal magnetism, as the humanoids<br />

used to call it.<br />

If I can position myself below<br />

the table from Alpha’s sightline, and<br />

with the back of my head toward<br />

She Who Must Be Obeyed, I have an<br />

unobstructed view of the Pup’s eyes.<br />

I can try various expressions on him:<br />

lonely, hungry, fun-filled, best-friend,<br />

partners in crime. And over the course<br />

of a meal I often go through variations<br />

of all these and more.<br />

By the end of the meal when the<br />

ice cream comes out, I resort to all-<br />

out hypnotism. I<br />

telepathize my<br />

message: “Drop the cone! Drop the<br />

cone!”<br />

So far, I have yet to score the big<br />

one. But on the hottest evenings, I am<br />

rewarded with frequent drippings of<br />

ice cream when the Pup is too busy<br />

paying attention to me to keep pace<br />

with the rivulets of melting ice cream.<br />

I consider all of this to be good<br />

training for those afternoons when we<br />

all go down to the Dairy Queen. (1)<br />

They leave me outside while they buy<br />

the ice cream, which leaves me time<br />

to ingratiate myself to anyone else<br />

who passes by. When they come out<br />

again, cones in hand, I have enough<br />

new friends to try my hypnosis on<br />

anyone sitting at the outside tables.<br />

I have faith that, some day – maybe<br />

very soon in this wonderfully hot<br />

weather – I will be rewarded for this<br />

hard work and diligence.<br />

Bone appetit,<br />

Zoscha<br />

(1) The Dairy Queen on Bank<br />

Street near Riverdale continues to<br />

be a favourite gathering place for<br />

both canines and humans on summer<br />

evenings.

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