Are Your Hormones Time to Hunker - Women With Know How

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divorce 32 How To Be Divorced And Enjoy Your Summer More and more we are seeing Judges order and parents request one half of the child’s summer vacation. Traditionally, when primary parenting by one person, usually the Mother, was the norm, the other parent would ask for and receive one or two weeks of uninterrupted time in the summer. As joint parenting increases and parents share custody, summer time seems to be increasing in duration with the parent who does not have primary custody during the school year. Some Judges are ordering one half the summer break to the non primary custodian even in cases where they aware sole custody to the other parent. The courts order these lengthy periods of time over the summer to allow a parent who is not primary during the school year a change to actually parent on a daily basis over a consistent period so that the primary parent dose not become the Connect And Grow With Women In Our Community By Leigh B. Sellers rule maker and the secondary parent become the fun parent. The goal is to provide both children time to have a meaningful relationship with both parents as they grow. This can lead to frustration and anxiety for a primary parent and children who have to work their social life and plans around a parent or judge imposed schedule. Every family situation and ever case is unique. The parenting schedule for children and parents differs dramatically based on the age of the children, their relationship with their respective parents, the location of the two households and activities and traditions surrounding the children’s summer breaks that exist from prior to the breakup like camps, trips to relatives and swim teams. Transition can be difficult for children and parents, but most overcome any related transitions issues very quickly. Whatever your schedule, there are some
asic things to keep in mind to make the summer transition easier in your household for you and your children. 1.The more stressed the parents, the more stressed the children. This can be lessened by keeping communication flowing before the summer starts and during the summer between the parents and the child/children involved. 2.Share information about scheduled activities and summer plans as soon as they have been made or need to be made with the other parent. Confer prior to making the plans if possible to prevent duplication. Share addresses and phone numbers of vacation spots without being asked. If you are arranging work related child care, share that information as well. 3.Try to make the goal to have the children have a great break from school and to share time with both parents. Focusing on the children’s time instead of making it Mom or Dad’s time can help everyone involved not feel so proprietary over the time period. Too often parents talk about “my time”. The purpose is “our time.” Dividing the summers is going to be more and more prevalent in mediated, negotiated custody arrangements and court ordered arrangements. The idea is to make the most of it for everyone. ● Leigh B. Sellers Board Certified Specialist In Family Law Krusch and Sellers, P.A. 5950 Fairview Road, Suite 808 Charlotte, NC 28210 Phone: 704-556-0707/ Fax: 704-553-7824 www.kruschlaw.com www.womanwithknowhow.com JUNE 2012 33
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