a publication of central community church online at www ... - Clover

16 THE LOOP - A MAGAZINE OF CENTRAL COMMUNITY CHURCH
EighT
ThiNgS
i uSED
To hATE
AbouT
You
by Phil CAllAwAy
Six months before my wedding day an older man tapped my shoulder in
the post office and offered some free advice. “Ramona’s a lovely girl who
deserves a good husband,” he said. “Marry her before she finds one.”
Before Ramona agreed to marry me, she sat me down after church, placed
my hands on a Bible and asked me the usual questions: “You are pretty good
at basketball, Phil, but have you ever tried hitting a laundry hamper? “Will
you refrain from using phrases like ‘I told you so,’ and ‘is there anything to
eat around here?’” I kissed her deeply and agreed to work on these things.
Before long we stood at an altar as my ordained father peppered me with
more questions: “Wilt thou take this woman to be thy lawfully wedded
wife, Phil? Wilt thou rinse the sink when thou shavest and make the bed
when thou are the last one out of it? Wilt thou affirm, admire, and accept
her—and quit eating chicken wings with a fork, so long as you both shall
live?” I kissed her deeply and agreed to work on these things.