a publication of central community church online at www ... - Clover

Continued from page 17
In the receiving line, the same man from the post office
whispered some more advice: “You want a happy marriage?
When the things that attracted you to her start to drive you
apart, find a way to reverse the process.” I’ve been thinking
about the old man’s advice for 24 years now, and it’s finally
starting to make sense. Allow me to explain. When Ramona
and I were dating I was attracted to her many attributes,
including the way she took life slowly. I was constantly
running. She taught me to stop and taste the strawberries.
Three weeks after our honeymoon, the lack of speed with
which she approached life made my adrenaline race.
During our first year of marriage, I wanted to follow Martin
Luther’s example and nail a list of irritations to the bathroom
door. I couldn’t quite come up with ninety-five theses, but
eight came to mind:
1. Your sense of humor is warped, my dear. The funniest
thing I did
this week
was hit my
head on a
cupb o a r d
door. You
laughed as if
I were Peter
S e l l e r s .
This was
not funny.
Please do
not laugh
when you
read this.
2. A vow of
silence is
fine for a
monk. Our
late-night
“fights” are as one-sided as a Chicago Cubs game. You
grow quiet during arguments. Silence can be a virtue, but
it can also be maddening.
3. You are kind to telemarketers. On our first anniversary a
phone call interrupted a candlelight dinner I had prepared.
You talked for upwards of two minutes with a complete
stranger because you were too polite to hang up.
4. Generosity isn’t always a virtue. Last week you made four
pies and gave away three. You gave ten dollars to the Girl
Scouts and the cookies weren’t that great.
5. What’s next, pickled ice cream? On Wednesday you made
banana meatloaf. What other recipes do you have? Can we
go through them together?
18 THE LOOP - A MAGAZINE OF CENTRAL COMMUNITY CHURCH
6. You throw things away. I love to hang onto things, but
last week my wool sweater went missing. The one I got for
my seventh birthday.
7. Necking won’t fit on the calendar. I love to do things
we haven’t planned. Like quick trips to the city, surprise
purchases, or necking on a back road to nowhere. You like
the necking, but you like to plan for it.
8. I am from Switzerland; you are from Zimbabwe. I love to
be on time. You do not. Is this a cultural difference? Meet
me in the living room at 8 p.m. sharp and we’ll talk about it.
Thankfully I refrained from nailing the list to our bathroom
door. Twenty-four years in the University of Diversity have
taught me that if we were the same we’d be in trouble. If we
were both spenders, we’d be bankrupt. If we were both spontaneous,
we’d never get anything done. If we kept all my wool
s w e a t e r s
we’d need
doN’t mIss
phIl callaway
lIve
__
13 U-Hauls
each time we
moved.
The Bible
describes
marriage as
two becoming
one.
Ideally it is
a partnership
of two
distinctly
d i f f e r e n t
individuals
who are
stronger
t o g e t h e r
than apart.
But this won’t happen until we swallow our pride, praise each
other’s uniqueness, and encourage each other’s strengths.
Though Ramona’s silence caused me grief at first, I’m learning
to wait until she’s ready to talk and to remind myself
that those who say the most do not always have the most to
say. When book sales brought in unexpected abundance, it
was her generosity that helped us respond as Christ would,
giving away what we didn’t need. Her kindness to phone
salesmen was the same kindness that first drew me to her.
Thankfully it has tempered with time. She now offers a polite
“No thanks,” followed by a click. Or she says, “My husband
would love to talk to you,” and hands the phone to me.
frIday feb 8 - 7:30pm
tIckets are $5 per persoN
[scott st. campus]
I’ve asked her to meet me in the living room at 8 p.m. sharp
to talk about this.
HymnSing
TIMELESS WORSHIP
Don’t miss this wonderful opportunity to join in uplifting worship and meaningful connection with
one another! Our HymnSing is an evening of worship with the classic hymns that have been an
inspiration to the church for generations.
SUNDAY FEBRUARY 3rd & 17th
6PM (SCOTT ST.)