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6 Friday, February 20, 2009 HAMILTON COUNTY HERALD You may have read Kay Bona’s tribute last week to her grandmother Orena Bouldon, who passed away earlier this month at the age of 105. At her funeral, the minister said that she had lived longer than the airplane, and almost as long as the automobile. It got me to thinking about some of the other events during her lifetime, which began in 1903, the same year that saw the arrival of Bing Crosby, Bob Hope, Lou Gehrig, John Dillinger, Claudette Colbert and Dr. Spock. Orena survived them all. Notable deaths that year were Calamity Jane and Judge Roy Bean. As mentioned, when she was just 18 days old, Orville Wright flew an aircraft with a petrol engine at Kitty Hawk, N.C., in the first successful air flight. When she was 1, the first New Year’s Eve celebration was held in Times Square, while a German physicist named Einstein was working on a special theory of relativity; and the first forward pass was thrown Across 1 Lending institution 5 Sci. class 9 Mailroom stamp 14 Manual reader, perhaps 15 Bicarbonate of ___ 16 Run away 17 Start of a remark to an accident investigator 19 “The Cider House Rules” director Hallstrom 20 Mongol title 21 Part 2 of the remark 23 Lorena of the LPGA 26 Compares 27 Part 3 of the remark 32 Apparatus 33 Nixon whose voice replaced Natalie Wood’s in “West Side Story” 34 Legislate 38 From the start 40 English dramatist George 42 Seal in the juices 43 Neither liquid nor gas 45 Insomniac’s need 47 Pre-M.A. program hurdle 48 Part 4 of the remark 51 Artist’s goof 54 Flushed, as in the cheeks 55 Part 5 of the remark 57 ___ Tzu (toy dog) 59 Hydrolysis product 60 End of the remark 65 High-tech gofer 66 “Today” co-host Lauer 67 Locks 68 A Corleone son 69 Tom Jones’s “___ a Lady” 70 Has a right to Down 1 Otherwise 2 Grey shade 3 Harriet Stowe, ___ Beecher 4 Capital of Poland until 1609 5 “The Thin Man” dog 6 Person, place or thing, in grammar 7 Palindromic Sooner city 8 Absorbent powder 9 Actor Dom Are we there yet? All in a lifetime By Jay Edwards in professional football. Also that year, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer were banned from the Brooklyn Public Library, for setting a “bad example.” When Orena was 2, Mount Vesuvius erupted, devastating Naples, as another natural disaster was destroying much of San Francisco. The 7.8 earthquake on the San Andreas Fault killed at least 3,000 people. When she was three, Oklahoma became the 46th state. At age 4, William C. Durant founded a new company, which eventually became General Motors; and Henry Ford produced his first Model T. The Chicago Cubs won the World Series, which hasn’t happened since. The same year, western bandits Butch Cassidy and The Sundance Kid were, supposedly, killed in Bolivia, after being surrounded by a large group of soldiers. At age 5, the U.S. Navy found- I Swear Crossword How it Happened by Victor Fleming 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 10 Palin’s people 11 “We’re off ___ the Wizard ...” 12 Hewlett-Packard competitor 13 Coral Sea hazards 18 What Lotharios exude 22 Montgomery’s st. 23 Others, in Oaxaca 24 Durable cloth 25 “The Philosophy of Right” author 28 “The Gold Bug” author’s inits. 29 Peak 30 Sound at sundown 31 First name and middle initial of Coyote 35 Umbrella 36 Chili go-with 37 Tire surface 39 “___ Flower” (countrymusic classic) 41 Mind reading, briefly? 44 Investigate 46 When the Book of Esther is read 49 Asian new year Victor Fleming’s puzzles have appeared in many publications, including the New York Times and Games Magazine. Diversions ed a navy base in Pearl Harbor, Hawaii. When she was eight, the world’s largest passenger liner, the RMS Titanic, struck an iceberg in the northern Atlantic Ocean. Less than three hours later she sunk, taking with her the lives of more than 1,500. When Orena was 9, the zipper was invented. At age 10, the minimum wage was $5 a day. Charles Chaplin made his film debut; and “Martha,” thought to be the world’s last passenger pigeon, died in Cincinnati. And in Sarajevo, Serb nationalist Gavrilo Princip assassinated Austrian Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and his wife Sophie, in the event that triggered World War I. Back in Boston, Joseph Patrick Kennedy Sr. was marrying Rose Fitzgerald. When she was 11, Red Sox hitter Babe Ruth hit his first career home run, off Yankee’s pitcher Jack Warhop. At 12, the last Emperor of China, Yuan Shikai, abdicated the throne; and William J. Newton and Morris Goldberg invented the light switch. When Orena turned 13, her country declared war on Germany; and three peasant children near Fátima, Portugal, claimed to see the Virgin Mary above an oak tree. And in Paris, Dutch dancer 50 Rum drinker’s refrain 51 Wrap around one’s neck 52 Country estate 53 Infielder Juan of the White Sox 56 Amateur radio station operators 57 Construction zone 58 5’10” and 6’3” (abbr.) 61 Scrooge’s shout 62 Grp. for some machinists 63 Pewter component 64 Mins. and mins. Last week’s solution S L I P A L S O A B A S H T I N A P I E R V I L L A U T E S E V E R Y A G E I S R H E T T E D I E H E M P M O D E R N N A S A A L A I N A H E I G H T D O H C R A S S V R O O M E V A T O T H O S E F L A B E N J I L E A N N L E N I N D O O R S P O T T Y I N A T W H O A R E A L E N N A G S S I K E S L I V I N G I N I T L I F T I R E N E N A L A E T R E T A N G O T T O P D E Y S Mata Hari was executed by firing squad, for being a German spy. At 14, The U.S. Congress established time zones, and the first Daylight Savings Time went into effect. The small town of Codell, Kan., was hit by a tornado, for the third straight year, and on the third same day, May 20. When she was 16, Adolph Hitler made his first public political speech. When Orena was 17, 16-yearold Margaret Gorman won the Atlantic City Pageant’s Golden Mermaid trophy; pageant officials later dubbed her the first Miss America. At 18, Christian K. Nelson patented the Eskimo Pie; while in the Bronx, construction began on Yankee Stadium. Not far away, in Washington, D.C., the Lincoln Memorial was dedicated. Just before her 25th birthday, a mouse named Mickey appeared in Steamboat Willie - the first film with sound. The month before her 26th birthday, there was a loud crash on Wall Street. Three days of multi-digit percentage drops wiped out more In 1985, I received notice that my name had come up on the “jury wheel.” (I’ve never known why it, whatever it is, was called that.) I was at the time seven years into the private practice of law. There was at the time a statute by which lawyers could exempt themselves from jury duty. I passed on that opportunity, rationalizing that this would be the educational experience of a lifetime. Two weeks after orientation I was “called to the rail.” After voir dire and peremptory strikes, I found myself sitting as juror no. 10 in a case that was being billed as a sensational punitive damages action. Almost a quarter century has passed since this memorable event. I wrote about it years ago and, at that time, opted not to name names. But today I’m disclosing all. R. David Lewis and Mark Riable represented the plaintiff. Wendell Griffin and Jim Kubicek represented the defendant. As my name was called, I resisted the temptation to look at any of these colleagues of mine, but I’d love to have seen the looks on their faces. To this day, I believe that each side assumed the other would strike me from the panel. This, notwithstanding that they all have told me otherwise; agreeing that they all felt I would be the perfect juror for that case. The facts were pretty simple. Plaintiff had bought a used car. It had some kind of a warranty. He took the car to the defendant’s shop, asking that the clutch be inspected for some type of malfunction. No problem with the clutch, the defendant said, but the brakes are bad. Plaintiff tendered his warranty and asked if the brake job would be covered. Don’t know, said the defendant, but you got to have ‘em fixed. I’ll file a claim and let you know. So, the brake work was done, satisfactorily, and the plaintiff drove than $30 billion from the New York Stock Exchange. Two months later, on New Years Eve, Guy Lombardo played Auld Lang Syne for the first time. When she was 30, Alcatraz became a prison; and the Apollo Theater opened in Harlem. In Louisiana, a team of police officers, led by Texas Ranger Cordell Walker, ambushed bank robbers Bonnie Parker and Clyde Barrow, near their hideout in Black Lake, killing them both. While in the Scottish Highlands, Surgeon R.K. Wilson allegedly photographed the Loch Ness Monster. And outside Chicago’s Biograph Theatre, “Public Enemy No. 1” John Dillinger, was mortally wounded by FBI agents. When Orena was 59, Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy closed the federal prison, Alcatraz. And when she was 105, the first Africa American was elected President of the United States. And in the final game at Yankee Stadium, the Bronx Bombers beat the Baltimore Orioles 7-3. Godspeed Orena Craig Bouldon. ❖ I Swear... Jury duty revisited By Vic Fleming away. A few weeks later, plaintiff came back to defendant’s shop, this time with rear end trouble (in his car, that is). Defendant’s employees jacked up the car on the rack, and while it was so positioned, defendant told plaintiff that the warranty claim had been denied. And that plaintiff, therefore, had best fork over the $400 balance due if he wanted his car. After a lively discussion, plaintiff caught a ride home, borrowed $400 and then went and got his car. He then sued defendant, alleging fraud and conversion. The alleged fraud stemmed from the allegation that the brake job had not been needed in the first instance; thus, it was improper to have sold it to him. The conversion came in from the jacking up of the car and refusing to release it until the (allegedly fraudulent) $400 bill was paid. At a break that was taken after both sides had rested, other jurors, who had figured out that I was a lawyer, asked me what would happen next. As modestly as I could at that time of my life, I explained that next up was jury instructions. “The judge will read to us for 15 minutes, telling us what the law is and how to apply it and what our duties are and so forth.” “Ahh,” they replied, impressed by my wisdom. When we went back into the courtroom, Judge Tom Digby said words that I’d never heard him utter before (and that I would never hear him utter again): “Ladies and gentlemen, I am going to give you this case without any instructions.” (There goes my credibility, I thought.) “This is rare, but the lawyers have agreed that this is what we should do,” and when he said that, he made eye contact with me and smiled. TUNE IN AGAIN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT HOW THE CASE CAME OUT. © 2009 Vic Fleming ❖
HAMILTON COUNTY HERALD Friday, February 20, 2009 7 As I told you last week, a dedicated reader of the Hamilton County Herald recently suggested I check out historic Fort Oglethorpe, Ga., in my quest to find unique places to visit in and around the Chattanooga area. First, I toured the 6th Calvary Museum, where I learned about the soldiers once stationed in the area and the battles they fought, from the Civil War to the World Wars. That museum sits on Barnhardt Circle, and as you continue around the circle, you come across gorgeous houses, built in the very early 1900s. Married officers once occupied most of the houses, and a white apartment building down the way was for the bachelor officers. One house that stands out among the rest is an enormous duplex, used at one time for two captains. The Captains Quarters Bed and Breakfast, as it now stands, is a gorgeous home built in 1902. It was once separated down the middle, but that wall was removed when the home was turned into a bed and breakfast in 1988. Now, the nine-bedroom home sleeps 19 people. Owners Jim and Julie Powell greeted me cheerfully, and my tour began in the kitchen, which used to be the captain’s office. This part was remodeled when the house was transformed in ’88, said Julie, resulting in an enormous kitchen – big enough to cook for a houseful of people. She led me to the only guest room on the main floor, known as the “Alcove Room,” for its privacy from the rest of the home and separate entrance. This room has an unbelievable view of the battlefield and across the hall is a gorgeous powder room, once used as the butler’s pantry. Julie explained there was once an opening that led from the butler’s pantry to the dining room. Today, that opening is closed off and in its place is an immaculate china cabinet, filled with Old Country Rose china, which the Powells use to serve their guests breakfast every morning. In addition to the main dining room, the old parlor has been turned into a smaller dining room. This offers enough seating for 20. As we stepped across the old divide, we entered another old parlor, now a library. “All these rooms are open for our guests to enjoy,” said Julie. The library is filled with books of all sorts, as well as a gas fireplace and an assortment of unique decorations. “We lived in Asia for seven years, so that’s why you see the Asian things around,” she said. Jim, an architect, developed hotels in Indonesia and Thailand. While there, Julie did an English language inventory of an Indonesian national museum’s textiles and became a collector. Upstairs, we came to a room with a king-size bed and a gas Full of air or rubbish? By Dave Barry, Tribune Media Services (This column was originally published May 18, 2003.) It’s time for an update on the British art world, which, as far as I can tell, exists mainly to Barry provide me with material. As regular readers of this column are aware, British art institutions have taken to paying large sums of money for works of art that can only be described as extremely innovative (I am using “innovative” in the sense of “stupid”). Here are two exam- Weekly Indulgence By Samara Litvack ples that I’ve written about: An artist named Martin Creed won the prestigious Turner Prize, plus about $30,000, for a work called “The Lights Going On and Off,” which consisted of a vacant room in which the lights went on and off. The prestigious Tate Gallery paid about $35,000 of British taxpayers’ money for a sealed can containing the excrement of a deceased artist. It’s hard to imagine art getting any more innovative, but I am pleased to report that the British art community is doing its darnedest. According to a London Times story sent in by alert reader Ronald Thurston, the prestigious Paul Hamlyn Foundation has awarded one of the biggest art prizes in Britain— about $47,000—to an artist named Ceal Floyer, for a work of art consisting of a garbage bag. Really. The work is titled “Rubbish Bag,” and to judge from the photograph in the Times, it is a standard black plastic garbage bag, just like the ones you put your garbage in, except that you have to pay people to haul your garbage bags away, Diversions The Captains Quarters Bed and Breakfast has a total of nine rooms, but owners Jim and Julie Powell say the ones with claw foot tubs like this are usually the first to be rented. (Samara Litvack) fireplace. The bathroom was enormous, with a walk-in shower and a separate vanity area. The next room we entered had a queen-size bed and a day bed, but my favorite part was the bathroom’s claw foot tub. Julie explained this room’s most popular feature was the view from the window. “A lot of the men that are interested in the battlefield like this room because they like to be able to sit at the desk and look out at it,” she said. The authentic nature of the décor of the home was inviting. And while the couple’s collec- whereas Floyer got $47,000 for hers. There is a compelling reason for this: Floyer’s bag is empty. That’s what makes it artistic. Floyer is quoted by the Times as follows: “It’s not a bag of rubbish, it’s a rubbish bag. The medium is clearly portrayed: It says it is a bag, air and a twisted top.” Got that? It’s NOT a bag of rubbish: It’s a rubbish bag! If THAT’S not $47,000 worth of innovation, then I don’t know what is. The Times states that “Floyer’s sculpture is displayed by a doorway; the intention is that the viewer wonders whether it is full of air or rubbish.” Actually, what it makes me wonder is whether the folks writing checks at the Paul Hamlyn Foundation have been smoking crack. If so, they apparently have been sharing the pipe with the folks at Bedford Creative Arts. This is a group that hands out taxpayer money to artists committing works of public art in Bedford, a town in the county of Bedfordshire (which also contains the towns of Biggleswade, Flitwick and Leighton Buzzard). tions from around the globe are scattered here and there, they obviously took care in preserving the home’s historic nature. Julie led me through the rest of the home, pointing out certain rooms that work out best for families – such as the Jack and Jill suite, which includes two rooms, adjoined by a bathroom, and a queen-size bedroom with a claw foot tub, which is beside a smaller room with no bathroom, at the end of a hallway. The rooms at the Captains Quarters are different than many other bed and breakfasts I’ve An alert reader named Jane Weaver sent me an article from the London Daily Express stating that Bedford Creative Arts decided to pay a performance artist named Andre Stitt about $19,000 to, among other innovative things, kick an empty takeout-curry carton through the center of town. In case you’re wondering why that would be artistic, the answer, as far as I can tell, is that Stitt was going to wear silver platform boots. Tragically, this work of art had to be canceled. It got a lot of media attention, and Bedford art officials were afraid that too many people would show up to watch. Don’t you just HATE it when the public shows up to watch public art, paid for by the public? But don’t worry! Stitt still got his $19,000, because he also performed several other works of art for the people of Bedford, including — I am quoting here from the ananova.com news service — “locking himself in a derelict house and remodeling it using stuffed preserved albino seen. They are enormous, for one, and they are each unique. Perhaps it’s the Powells’ collection of Asian antiques or the care they’ve taken to keep each room true to its original form. As we reentered the lobby, Julie explained their guests were usually either people who wanted to “get away” but didn’t want to travel far or tourists, traveling in groups, visiting the battlefield and other historic locations. She pointed out a book called “A Tale of Fort Oglethorpe,” which she had pulled together so guests could get a little history of the city. Currently, she is working on another book, which will include a more detailed account of the Fort Oglethorpe story. And what a rich history it is. Jim explained that when the barracks on the circle were torn down, the lumber was used to build many of Fort O’s houses. He showed me, out the dining room window, the tombstonelooking markers that showed where the barracks once stood. “People just don’t understand what a significant influence this area was during both those World Wars,” he said. And although I was only there for a short time, I left Barnhardt Circle feeling very enlightened. The history of Fort Oglethorpe is interesting, and extremely important. I recommend a trip down to the historic district. The 6th Calvary Museum has a lot to offer by way of records and facts and historical information. And the Captains Quarters Bed and Breakfast offers a step back in time, a night or a weekend spent in the early 1900s, overlooking the battlefield and enjoying the luxury of the captains’ home without any of the responsibility. Contact Samara at samara@hamiltoncountyherald. com ❖ animals, crematorium ash cans, vinyl lettering and talcum powder.” A Bedford arts official is quoted as saying that it was “not important” that Stitt did not actually perform his curry-carton work, because it had “created a huge amount of publicity” and thus “has already existed in the public arena.” In other words, he didn’t have to physically kick the curry carton to get paid for kicking the curry carton, because the public was aware of the curry-carton-kicking concept. I bet that Michelangelo (a loyal reader of this column) is turning over in his grave right now. He’s thinking: “You mean I could have just ANNOUNCED that I was going to make a huge statue of David? I didn’t have to chip away all that marble?” Poor Michelangelo, born back in the bad old pre-innovative days of art. We can only imagine what he might have done with stuffed albino animals. © 2009 THE MIAMI HER- ALD Distributed by Tribune Media Services, Inc. ❖
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