JESUS LEER MY ASSEBLIEF BID - His Will His Way

often felt as a child that if I would join “the boys” when they were playing, that I would spoil their
fun.
This acceptance of rejection had led to me being very susceptible to the attention of this older
man and choosing a very destructive route which I remained on for many years. Only when I
repented of these sins and asked God to forgive me, did I receive His forgiveness and then I
was able to be free and live a life that truly reflected what was available in the promises of
God’s word.
In the 6 years that I had been saved (and in fact in my whole life), I had hurt many people, some
directly, some indirectly, I broke most of the 10 commandments, and even though I was always
one of the “top” performers, a good “girl” in the eyes of many, my life had been rooted in lies
and deception and sin. In this time I had come to know God’s character and even at the worst
times I still knew that His character was what I could rely on – that He was unfailing and that He
was the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.
After the deliverance session when I truly was healed of the rejection and was able to walk
freely in God, I was able to truly experience the love of God and the ministry of His Holy Spirit.
In the preceding years I had learnt a lot about the Word of God, had done Bible School and had
been in every church meeting, every prayer meeting, every camp, every everything but this had
not made it possible for me to lead a Holy life, to live a life that was pleasing and acceptable to
my Father. The key had been repentance, forgiveness and then being filled with the Holy Spirit
to a new level.
In the next few years it was more about being in His presence rather than learning something
about Him. But still this had its challenges. Two years later I had to leave the ministry that I had
been part of because I chose to marry a man that the church would have preferred me not to
have a relationship with. Suddenly, my life was without all the trappings of church – the ministry,
the youth group, the school teachings, the camps, the prayer meetings, etc. All I had was a raw
heart and a new relationship. My friends were no longer my friends, I was out of a job and
needing to start over.
This was also a time of re-establishing what I was sure of – was I into the things of God or the
God of the things. When you have everything stripped away, you can find the core. Walking in
faith is then sometimes a lonely road, one that is narrow and few find it.
My relationship with my husband was one that was grounded in God but needed much grace.
We were not together in spite of what we had been through in our lives but, I think, because of
it.
Throughout our marriage, when we were closer to God, we were closer to each other. It didn’t
matter what challenges we encountered, this seemed to be the key. Shortly after we were
married we had a son who has been a blessing to us and I also have the privilege of being “the
other mom” to three stepchildren. In all these things I know that without a relationship with God,
without applying His Word to ALL things in my life, it would be impossible to live. I genuinely do
not know how people can raise children without knowing God!
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