Main Street Magazine Spring '23

leaving the knights with only vague stories and hope to find him.
He wastes away in his lair, lamenting his heroic past and searching
for meaning in a now empty and lonely life. New meaning would
burst through his doors in the form of frantic townsfolk and
exhausted knights begging him for help, not that he needed any
convincing.
Atop a cliff the Dragon rests, exhausted from his raids. He is alone,
both in that moment and in the world. Alone and lashing out,
empty for all but his fury.
The Dragon careens through the air, shaking the earth with the
force of his cries; all he has left is this fight and his aimless rage.
Their fight is one of raw emotion, the Dragon releasing his
unwanted rage and Dragonfucker trying desperately to create new
meaning for himself. Tears stream down Dragonfucker’s face,
landing on the Dragon’s hide. They lock eyes. Both lonely, both
searching for something to fill the emptiness in their hearts. Their
gazes soften; they are what the other needs. It is a love story for
the ages.
Dragonfucker has no fear, only blind excitement and obsession
with the task at hand, pushing down his feelings of listlessness and
loneliness. He smells the Dragon before he sees him, all brimstone
and smoke, and suddenly Dragonfucker is sprinting, victory within
his grasp and — holy shit, that is a very large and furious dragon!
Truly, I don’t know what else you could expect from a band named
Goblin Cock, where their members are clad in cloaks with hidden
faces and strange monikers. Headed by Lord Phallus (Rob Crow),
the band has previously included the talent of Bane Ass-Pounder,
Larben the Druid, and more, and they currently boast a roster
featuring Lick Myheart on guitar, Tinnitus Island on bass, The Reg
on drums, and Loki Sinjuggler on the keys. In Dragonfucker: A Cock
Opera, they lean into the absurdity of their name and concept, as it
is a 20-minute-and-20-second-long epic of loneliness, violence, and
love. The single-track album features narration alongside its vocals,
assuring the story isn’t lost in the music, which adjusts throughout
to create a fitting backdrop to each scene. It’s got that stoner metal
flare and knows to never take itself too seriously while creating
characters with more layers than recent popular media.
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