CCChat-Magazine_5
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Organizing time and physical space can<br />
help a person feel less overwhelmed. After<br />
Katrina moved out with her children, all the<br />
possessions she had been able to grab were<br />
in plastic bags and she despaired of ever<br />
feeling "normal" again. Arranging her<br />
belongings into labeled boxes in her shelter<br />
room helped her feel more settled. She<br />
noticed that her children responded<br />
positively to a more orderly living space,<br />
too. A daily routine also helps organize<br />
one's emotional life.<br />
Verbalizing. Sharing the true story of the<br />
relationship—in ways that feel right—can<br />
be empowering. Some survivors start by<br />
keeping a diary where they can be honest<br />
with themselves. Then they speak with<br />
selected friends and family who they know<br />
will be supportive. Telling one's true story<br />
helps survivors cope with their feelings and<br />
may also have positive practical efects. For<br />
instance, when Carla explained her home<br />
situation, her boss became much irmer<br />
about denying her ex access to the<br />
workplace and not giving him any<br />
information over the phone regarding<br />
Carla's whereabouts.<br />
Expressing oneself creatively. Dancing.<br />
Drawing. Gardening. Singing. Many victims<br />
shut down creatively during the Coercive<br />
Control relationship, busily attending to<br />
their partner’s every demand. Releasing<br />
one's creative side can be a step on the<br />
path to recovery. When her abusive<br />
relationship ended, Chris began drawing<br />
cartoons and then repainted her apartment<br />
with vibrant colors. She loved choosing the<br />
paint herself and—room by room—as she<br />
wielded the roller she felt as if she was<br />
covering over bad memories and reclaiming<br />
the space as "hers" in a new way.<br />
Remembering. Some survivors compile a<br />
list of the controlling incidents that they<br />
experienced. The list helps them appreciate<br />
what they’ve been through and realize their<br />
own strength. They can take pride in the<br />
courage they showed, and look forward to<br />
a full life as a free person. Greg kept a list<br />
on his computer. He added to it as he<br />
remembered abusive incidents.<br />
2018 is the Year For Making The Invisible Visible
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