Destitute Women in Kerala: Psychological resources and psycho ...

For instance, Bapnu Ghar that caters specifically to the needs of battered women justified
its rule regarding cloistering of women on the ground of preserving their chastity. The
authorities of the Ghar explain that “this way at least the husbands will not suspect their
chastity while they are away from home and hence will not hesitate to take them back”. So
the husband’s wishes are respected and the patriarchal norms are strictly maintained even
when the husband had driven the women out of his home. The patriarchal ideology is based
on the understanding that the ideal women are those who do not strive to break these bonds
of control. Moreover, the salvation and happiness of women, it is averred, revolve around
their virtue and chastity as daughters, wives, and widows. These themes are not reflected
merely in the laws of ancient Sanskrit texts; they continually reappear in latter writings and
classics. Sita is considered the epitome of the proper wife. Thus the society, the religious
authorities, her parents and in-laws – everyone expects her to become her husband’s shadow.
Even those who claim to be progressive do not flinch when women are portrayed as a
merely enjoyable object for her husband.
According to Pagelow (1981) and Dobash (1979), patriarchy legitimises intra-family violence
and gives men right to hit and assault their wives. Therefore, women are counselled to be
submissive and docile. The women who seek shelter in care homes are advised to live
according to the whims and fancies of their husbands. They are taught to obey what their
husbands say. They are also given training on how to avoid getting beaten up. The women
are counselled as to how to please their husbands and make them happy. They are in fact
motivated to go back to their husbands and lead submissive and docile lives. On the whole,
the homes only endorse the patriarchal ideology that is prevalent in the society and hinders
the women’s growth as independent members of the society. The only aim of the homes is
to provide temporary shelter to distressed women until they can either be reconciled with the
family or married off. This is the only message they give and their training only facilitates
this process. Overall, the homes have not provided a viable alternative to deal with the
problems of violence against women.
Counselling and support centres
Hardly any place existed where a woman with marriage problems could go till the 1980s. But
women’s movement of the late 1970s tried to focus specifically on the problem of women
within homes. The Government of India appointed a national committee on the status of
women in 1947. The committee pointed out that the processes of social change had affected
different sections of women in different ways (ICSSR, 1976). The report also revealed that
large masses of women in this country remained unaffected by the rights guaranteed to them
by the Constitution and the laws enacted since Independence. Thus, for the first time, the
patriarchal social structure and subordination of women therein were questioned. Support
and help to women was viewed not merely as rescue and social work but more as a political
question of power balance between the sexes within home and in society. Providing support
and help to individual women was just one aspect of the struggle against patriarchy.
Several support centres were started by various groups to fight against the ruthless customs
of patriarchy. The groups mainly resorted to agitation and dealt with the questions of rape,
wife murders, dowry deaths, and exploitation of women. When individual women began
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