Destitute Women in Kerala: Psychological resources and psycho ...

an away with him. We had a registered marriage. From the day of our marriage he started
hurting me both physically and mentally. All the members of his family used to abuse me
verbally and my mother-in-law used to beat me too. At night my husband used to come
drunk and beat me. All the members of the family joined him in the torture. They laughed
loudly and made fun of me whenever I cried or fell down. They asked me to leave the house
and go anywhere else. As I had run away from my parents I did not have the courage to go
back to them. But when my husband knew that I was pregnant, he took me to my parents’
house and left me there. Even after I gave birth to a child, he did not come. My mother and
brothers, though not willingly, took care of my child and me. One day when my husband
came to see me my brother had a big fight with him and asked him not to step into our house.
My husband said he was sorry for everything and wanted to see the child. I had pity for him
and pleaded to my brother to allow him to see the child. From that day onwards he used to
come to see us regularly. I became pregnant again. Then he said that it was his vengeance
and he left me forever. When my brother knew what had happened, he dragged me outside
the house, beat and kicked me and finally stabbed me. I was hospitalised and the police
registered a case in the family court. It was the family court, which sent me to the Mahila
Mandir. All this happened because I did not live according to the dictates of my parents. I
wish my fate should never happen to any other girl.”
Padmajam was only 20 years old when the person whom she loved and married threw her
out into the street. Padmajam had neither parents nor relatives. Her husband and in-laws
used to demand dowry and beat her. As she did not have any place to go she suffered all the
tortures till the time she gave birth to a child. The day she was discharged from the hospital,
she was asked not to enter the house. “It was with the help of the Mahila Samajam that I
could come to this place”, she said.
Alcoholism of husbands and the demand for dowry by them as well as their in-laws were
the major causes for abandonment of wives. In the cases of Ambika, Radhamani, and
Padmajam, they had brought no dowry as theirs had been love marriages. After the initial
period of infatuation, the alcoholic husbands together with their family members started
demanding money. As they found that their wives were unable to fetch them any dowry,
they threw their wives out into the streets. Alcoholism and wife-battering co-exist in most of
the cases.
The hazards of alcoholism are not confined to battering and mental torture of wives.
Many of the alcoholic husbands are paranoid too. They develop suspicion about their wives’
character. This happens especially when they have had registered marriage or had ran-away
incidents.
Susheela, who got married at the age of 21, has gone through terrible experiences in her
life. Susheela had no parents and she had a love marriage. The man was not only alcoholic
and paranoid but was sadistic as well. He began suspecting her and accused her of having
sexual relationship with other men. He did not limit his cruelties to beating and kicking her
but went on physically torturing her in the most inhuman ways. The poor girl was tied to the
bed and wounds and cuts were made throughout her body using knife and scissors. Neighbours
had on several occasions hospitalised Susheela. It was the hospital authorities who put her at
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