HASTE TO THE WEDDING - Haddon Hall

26 HASTE TO THE WEDDING - ACT II
WOOD. Yes; didn’t you get my note?
MARCH. Yes, here it is. (Taking note from her bosom.)
“My terms are—a flower from your bouquet—Nisnardi.”
WOOD. Nisnardi? What’s that?
MARCH. Hush, eccentric creature—my guests are arriving.
(Enter BARNS.)
BARNS. (announcing). Lord and Lady Popton, Colonel Coketown, the Marquis of
Barnsbury, Lady Pentwistle, the Archbishop of Bayswater, and the Duke and Duchess of
Deal.
(Exit BARNS. Enter LORD and LADY POPTON, COLONEL COKETOWN, and other guests.)
MARCH. My dear Duke—my dear Lady Popton—allow me you to present to you the
incomparable Nisnardi! (All bow reverentially to WOODPECKER.)
LADY P. (crossing to him). And are you really Nisnardi?
WOOD. (aside). I must brazen it out. (Aloud.) I am.
LADY P. Incomparable falsettist!
WOOD. (aside). Good heavens, I’m a singer—a falsettist! Why, I’m a bad baritone!
LADY P. And are you really about to favour us with a specimen of your marvellous
talent?
MARCH. Signor Nisnardi is most kindly going to sing three songs.
ALL. How delightful! Charming! What a treat!
WOOD. (aside). I must get out of this fix at once. (Aloud.) Marchioness, I have a
most extraordinary—and I am afraid you will say—unreasonable request to make.
MARCH. Oh, name it!
WOOD. But it’s a secret!
MARCH. Oh, I’m sure our friends will excuse us. (Guests bow and exit.)
WOOD. Marchioness, I am the slave of impulse!
MARCH. I know you are.
WOOD. Eh? Oh! Well, it’s a most remarkable thing, but when a whim enters my head,
I lose my voice until it is gratified. A whim has just entered my head, and listen! (Grunt.)
MARCH. Heavens, what is to be done?