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WARHAMSTER! 

The Massively Multiplayer Tabletop 

Dungeon Adventure Game 

V0.6 BETA PLAYING Copy 

MANUSCRIPT 

ORIGINS GIANT OPEN BETA 

TEST VERSION 

©2009 – 9 th Level Games 

ALL RIGHTS ARE KINDA LIKE 

RESERVED. 

This is not the final (far from it) version 

of the game. These are the rules (with 

some changes) that we will be using 

when we run an awesome weekend at 

ORIGINS 2009 ( 

www.originsgamefair.com ). Come 

check it out – you can play from THU to 

SAT afternoon with a big wrap on 

Saturday. Play as many times as you 

want power leveling your Adventurer 

through as many quests as you 

complete. 

ORIGINS EVENT #s > 

6313, 6406, 6419, 6453, 6531, 6535, 

6602, 6728, 6824, 6835, 6855, 6930, 

6932, 7003, 7122, 7212, and 7219 (final).

wa warHaMs wa HaMs HaMster HaMs ter ter! ter 

The Massively Multiplayer Tabletop Role-Playing Playing Game Game 

Disclaimer! 

What you have in your grubby little hands is a Dungeon Adventure 

Game(DAG). Some people may mistakenly refer to this as a role role-playing 

game, but they would be wrong. Close, but no cigar. Role Role-Playing is an 

intellectually vibrant hobby that helps to sharpen social and problem solving 

skills while you pretend to chop monsters into bits. A Dungeon Adventure 

Game is like a role-playing game – because you take on roles, and stuff – 

but it’s really more about chopping monsters into bits. It’s heavy on the 

Dungeon. 

If you’ve never played an role-playing playing game before, don’t panic. It’s a lot like 

watching a bad fantasy movie except that there are fewer scantily cl clad 

model-actresses, actresses, and more chubby guys sitting around your kitchen table. 

The level of writing is about the same, either way. 

VERSION 0.6 Beta play edition 

Credits: Designed by Chris O’Neill, 9 th Level Games 

Additional Design by Dan Landis, 9 th Level Games 

Special Thanks Trey Reilly and GAMA for giving us a 

reason to do this, , John Kovalic for ass-kicking art as 

always and for letting us do bad things with 

Warhamster, and to Ken Hite for his insight into the 

game about 3 years ago (some of these are his jokes) jokes). 

Thanks to Mike Patton, Sam Miuccio, Al Rae, Mark 

Fiorito, Sharky Fitzgerald, MMike 

Louden, Jae 

WeisbrotTrick Clapp for playtesting….MORE ytesting….MORE TO COME 

POST ORIGNS GNS 2009.

An Introduction to Role-Playing 

(for non-Gamers) 

You are about to embark on a game filled with adventure and peril, 

treasures and princesses, high romance and … oh, who are we kidding. You 

are about to embark on a classic dungeon romp with danger lurking around 

every corner and death behind every door – or at least a barely socially 

acceptable license to murder and loot strangers – all leading to a climactic 

final battle with some fiendish monster and riches beyond your wildest 

dreams! (Wildness of dreams may vary. Consult your dM.) 

In the lands of Aurora you and your fellow players take on the mantle of 

Adventurers: puissant thieves, subtle warriors, pious sorcerers, skulking 

priests, and suchlike – all hellbent on accumulating the most power and 

treasure possible. Your quest for fortune and fame will take you from the 

dark streets of Mudheim, to the darker streets of the twin cities of K’Dar and 

N’Dar, and, quite possibly, to the darkest forests and the dank, completely 

lightless, even Stygian, caverns in the dim northern dark wasteland around 

the Free City of Thunderhawk. 

How to Talk Like a Gamer 

If you’ve never played an RPG before, why the heck did you buy this book? 

Oh, you didn’t buy it. It was free. I see. As I sit here slaving at this 

keyboard pouring my hot, steaming creative juices into this damnable 

machine I assumed that I was going to get paid for this crap. I’m not 

getting paid for this – am I? Well, that at least is like every other RPG every 

made then. Where were we. Oh yeah, you’ve never played an RPG before. 

Don’t worry – role-playing isn’t terribly hard. To help you along, we’ve 

included a set of “fancy gamer terms” that you can throw around the game 

table to make other people (other gamers at least) think that you are a 

“real” gamer. Normal people will probably think – well, let’s not dwell on 

what they probably think. 

Adventurer – The official name for any player character in a Warhamster 

game. This is a general name, not like, say, “Morgoth the Wise,” which is the 

given name of one specific player character. You should see his stats. Hoo 

boy. 

dX – Anytime you see a “d” before a number, this is just geeky shorthand 

for die. Not “Die” as in “Killing Stuff” (even though there is a lot of that in 

Fantasy Games), but die as in the singular of dice. The number after the “d” 

represents what kind of “die” you roll. So, “d12” stands for a twelve-sided 

die. 

d2 – This is the super dorky way to say flip a coin: heads=1 tails=2. 

d6 – The properly dorky way of saying a “regular” or “six-sided” die. 

d20 – A twenty-sided die or [REMAINDER OF PASSAGE EXCISED DUE TO 

POSSIBLE LITIGATION]. 

dM – The diceMaster, or the really big dork who runs the game. 

Miniatures – Also called “minis” or “figs”. A miniature is a tiny metal figure 

that represents your character in a game. If this was a real game, you would 

worse than nothing if your “mini” wasn’t a perfect representation of your 

character. 

The Basics 

In order to play the WARHAMSTER TMMTDAG, you will need a few things: 

a couple of dorks players; a really big dork diceMaster (dM); some paper 

and pencils; a lot of dice (especially six-siders, but you’ll need some d4s, 

d8s, d10s, and d12s as well); 3-6 lbs. of lead miniatures (per player); far too 

much free time; a big table; beverages, junk food; and a copy of EVERY 

SINGLE WARHAMSTER SUPPLEMENT EVER MADE! (Not your collectible 

copies. Never bring those to games, because you’ll spill Mountain Dew on 

them. Bring your other copies.)

An Introduction to Warhamster! 

(for the Gamers) 

The Warhamster: Massively Multiplayer Tabletop Dungeon Adventure Game 

is (pick one of the following): 

a) A new-fangled online gaming system with a monthly fee and serious 

crack-like addictive qualities 

b) An old-fangled generic system for universal role-playing which allows 

players to bend genres and morph styles to any milieu 

c) A ground-breaking game system that blends the full power of 

Narrativist gaming styles with classic Simulationist mechanics 

d) An large, glossy hardback tome which will outsell all previous roleplaying 

games 

e) The first game system to cop to the truth at what lies deepest in a 

role-players heart 

If you guessed (E) than you’re right; if you guessed anything else, then you 

have obviously never heard of 9 th Level Games … 

Back in the day, role-playing was really just about kicking the snot out of 

trolls. This was before storytelling, Narrativism, mythos-centric rules design, 

computer based role-playing map clients, PDF publishing, the internets, or 

open-source game licenses – heck, we didn’t even really have role-playing 

yet. All we had some graph paper, some pencils, and a 2 liter bottle of 

Coke, and whatever poorly written, poorly edited, and abysmally illustrated 

ditto-printed rulebooks we could get our grubby mitts on. We had a broad 

sword that did d8 damage, a vague idea what a dungeon was, and a mean 

itching to KILL SOME TROLLS – and we were happy. 

So, Warhamster! TMMTDAG (The Massive Multiplayer Tabletop Dungeon 

Adventure Game for those of your with short attention spans, or acronymlexia) 

does not require a new video card. It features nothing new, exciting, 

or revolutionary. It is surely not universal. It can’t spell Narrativist or 

Simulationist. It is not covered in shiny, tasty cardboard and it probably 

won’t outsell The World of Synibarr* (heck, we’re giving it away for 

charity). 

In the end, it really comes down to one thing – games used to be fun. 

What’s changed? You have. You got old dude! Way old! Warhamster can’t 

fix that, but it can help you through this trial – by giving you a game 

experience that makes you feel like a 12 year old again. So, step right up, 

we’re gonna get OLD SCHOOL! 

Warhamster! knows why games were better when you were twelve. You 

were twelve. Everything was better. The rules were simpler. You had 

hours and hours and hours of free time to spend crawling through sewers 

and fighting gondarks! The game didn’t need to change the world. It was 

just about having some fun with your bros (or your buds, your peeps, or 

whatever else you called the rest of the Math Club when you were in 5 th 

grade). So, let’s hop into our time machine** and journey back to the time 

when games were just plain old stupid fun. We’re going to skip the 

middlewoman (no reason to be sexist just cause were rolling back the dial on 

the old time machine) and remove all the barriers that have been erected*** 

to killing trolls. Huzzah! 

So you know what you’re getting yourself into – you have to embrace the 

Way of the Warhamster. Warhamster! fully cops to the ideals that traditional 

table top role-players have always know, but were afraid to say out loud: 

1. Characters are all pretty much the same. Sure, your character may 

kill trolls using arcane fireballs, or perilous thief skills or devastating 

axe blows but your character purpose is still killing trolls. 

2. Adventures are all pretty much the same. Sure, your adventures 

may be complex political conspiracies, or world shattering epics 

about powerful magics run rampant, or heartbreaking romantic 

tragedies about unrequited love– but in the end, it’s all about going 

into some dungeon and killing some trolls. 

3. Dungeons are all pretty much the same. Sure, your dungeon may 

be a twelve level sprawling labyrinth painstakingly constructed using 

real world architectural physics and evoking the majesty of Ancient 

Egyptians ruins, while subtly referencing the mythologies of J.R.R. 

Tolkien, but in the end, it’s just a series of connected rooms where 

the aforementioned characters kill the same trolls. 

4. Role-playing is all pretty much the same, you start out in a bar and 

argue for an hour about what you are going to do, and then you 

(insert reason you go to the dungeon), go to the dungeon, and kill 

some trolls. 

* Though, it might actually outsell World of Synibarr 2 nd Edition. But, it should. It also might 

outsell Senzar. 

** Yes, 9 th Level Games has a time machine. Jealous? 

*** While I assume that you thought this footnote was going to be an erection joke****, it’s 

actually a real footnote to explain what we mean by barriers – like role-playing, suimulationism, 

game mechanics, editing, comprehensive story mechanics, etc. 

****Haha. Penis jokes are always funny.

THE WARHMASTER MANIFESTO 

We hold these truths to self-evident, that all adventurers are rolled equal, 

that they are endowed by their players with certain unalienable rights; that 

among these are Death to Trolls, More Death to Trolls, and the pursuit of 

Gold (generally taken from the corpses of Dead Trolls). That to secure these 

rights, Rules Systems are instituted among players, deriving their just 

powers from the handbook (with requisite level based benefits) – that 

whenever any Form of Gaming becomes destructive of these ends, it is the 

Right of the Players to alter or to abolish said rules (and replace them with 

House Rules much cooler than the rules in the manual), laying its foundation 

on the heaped skulls and skeletons of trolls as to them shall seem most likely 

to affect their Safety and Happiness (generally in the form of bigger 

weapons and fireball wands). Now, in English…. 

Every once in a while, you just gotta step away from the indie games, and 

the big company games, and the massively multiplayer online games – and 

get back into the dungeon. You don’t want a lot of fancy rules. You don’t 

want complex motivations. You don’t want cathartic experiences. You don’t 

want innovation. You don’t want to grind out 50 levels to gear up for a raid. 

You just want to BASH BASH BASH BASH BASH Trolls…Welcome to the 

Warhamster Manifesto! 

Thus we give you the 5 Pillars of Warhamsterian Adventures: 

1) You form a party of random Adventurers in a bar (or at least 

somewhere they serve alcohol) 

2) The party decides on an “adventure” 

3) You go to there 

4) The party kills the monsters 

5) Repeat 

Warhamster’s sincere hope is that you can pick up these rules, pick up some 

dice, pick up an adventure, and get to some good Old School dungeon 

gaming. Warhamster is going to do everything it can to make it easy. 

Warhamster knows that you’re “beyond” old school, kick in the door, 

dungeon crawling. So is the Warhamster. Warhamster loves the new stuff. 

Warhamster loves the 4 th Edition. Warhamster loves My Life With Master. 

Warhamster loves Dogs in the Vineyard, and Burning Empires, and Amber 

Diceless, and all of it. But sometimes you just feel the urge to cast d4 magic 

missiles! Sometimes, you just want to be the doorknob-stupid barbarian 

bashing with an oversized club. You just need to backstab stuff. 

Warhamster understands. Warhamster is right there with you. Warhamster 

will never judge you. Warhamster will never look down on you. 

And, we know that part of what made gaming so much fun back in the day, 

was that it was always evolving, always changing. We understand that. Part 

of what makes gamers gamers is not just bashing trolls – but coming up with 

new ways of bashing trolls. More importantly, part of the fun was knowing 

that role-playing was a great big sandbox to play in, and that no one had yet 

mapped every hex, graphed every dungeon, or rolled every die. Sadly, 

those times are lost to us, but at least now we got the internets and some 

cool new toys (much better than ditto machines and spiral bound 

notebooks). 

So, basically, you want a game that feels like every game you have ever 

played, but allows you to argue the rules, rewrite them in the middle of a 

session, and all the while killing trolls. And it’s got to feel like a bunch of 

toys that you just got out of a toybox. Got it. Warhamster is here for you. 

You still need some role-playing? Oh. What’s that you said – without some 

role-playing it’s just Descent (or Hero Quest, depending on your age).* 

We’ll we see what we can do about that. 

* We’re assuming its one of those two. If you said it was just Dragon Strike – you have a 

serious condition. If you said Dark World – than we should get together and play games 

sometimes – that game was the awesomest!

ADVENTURER ADVENTURER’S ADVENTURER Handbook! Handbook! 

Handbook! 

The The The 9 9 Steps Steps to to Creating 

Creating 

Your Your Adventurer! 

Adventurer! 

Grab an Adventurer Statistic Sheet found on the next page, a #2 pencil, 

and your OFFICIAL Warhamster® dice. Follow the steps on the next few 

pages, and then get ready for Adventure! 

1. 1. Determine Determine Career Career Aptitude 

Aptitude 

Complete the Standardized Adventurer Test (page XX). Record the 

resulting Certification on the Adventurer Statistic Sheet. 

2. 2. Start Start or or Join Join a a Party! 

Party! 

If this is your first night of Warhamster - you must fight! Oh, wait, 

it’s Warhamster – you’re always going to fight. So, if this is your 

first game – you will need to Start a Party, or Join a Party. 

3. 3. Get Get A A Job 

Job 

Follow the “So You Want To Be An Adventurer” section (page XX). 

Select a job (make sure that your Adventurer meets all of the 

requirements) and record that on your Adventurer Statistic Sheet. 

Make sure that you record your Starting Powers, and your HITS DIE. 

4. 4. Determine Determine Determine Bonus Bonus Bonus Power 

Power 

Follow the “So What Can I Do” section (page XX). Pick a Bonus 

Power, and record it on your Adventurer Statistic Sheet (or get a 

POWER CARD). 

5. 5. Array Array You Your You r Stats 

Stats 

Find your Adventurer’s STAT DICE from your chosen Job. Pick one 

stat to upgrade (see page XX) and record your character’s Stat Dice 

under HOW ATTRACTIVE, MIND, StRENGTH, EXTRANEOUS, and 

REFLEXES on your Adventurer Statistic Sheet. 

6. 6. Compute Compute Compute YYour 

YY 

our Defenses 

Determine each DEFENSE (BEEF, ARMOR, LUCK, and SMARTS – 

BALS for short). Record these on your Adventurer Statistic Sheet in 

the spaces provided. 

7. 7. IT IT MUST MUST BE BE MINE MINE – Go Go Shopping! 

Shopping! 

Don’t forget to go shopping and purchase equipment. 

8. 8. Ever Everything Ever ything Else! 

Else! 

Now that you’re done with the important parts, you can fill in the 

rest of the unimportant stuff, like your Adventurer’s name, eye color, 

turn-ons, turn-offs, and pet peeves. At this point, you still have time 

if your Adventurer doesn’t rise to your specifications - crumble him 

up, and repeat. Ignore, if you can, the hollow shrieks from his 

prematurely-consumed soul. 

9. 9. Complain! Complain! 

Complain! 

Complain that everyone else is still making their Adventurers and 

that you are ready to play. When appropriate, complain loudly that it 

was your idea to get character creation out of the way before you all 

got together so that you could focus on some monster mashing!

ADVENTURER 

JOB BOGIE 

STAT DICE 

DEFENSES 

How Attractive 

Armor 

Worn 

CERTIFICATE (#2 Pencil Only) 

O M.B.A. O P.H.D. O B.S. O B.F.A. 

LEVEL 

Mind STrength Extraneous Reflexes Hit Die 

Luck Smarts Beef Couch Armor HITS 

POWERS Weapons Gear 

O JOB: 

O JOB: 

O JOB: 

O JOB: 

O BONUS: 

O 2 nd Level: 

O 4 th Level: 




warHaMs wa HaMster ter! Adventurer Adventurer Adventurer Adventurer Statistic Statistic Statistic Statistic Sheet Sheet 

Sheet Sheet 

wa 

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STEP STEP ONE: 

ONE: 

DETERMINE YOUR CAREER APPTITUDE 

The Standardized Adventurer Test 

Through the Magic of Standardized Testing, the dangers and uncertainty of 

poor career planning can be avoided, or at least blamed on the Magic of 

Standardized Testing. Please answer the questions below, and record your 

answers in Number 2 Pencil. Then total your results and determine what kind 

of CERTIFICATE you receive. We assume that once you take the test you 

are going to cheat anyway, so if this isn’t your first time playing Warhamster 

you might as well skip the test, and just pick a certificate. 

In Warhamster an Adventurer’s Certification determines his career path. 

After you determine which Certificate your Adventurer starts with, record it 

on your Adventurer Statistic Sheet. 

Standardized Adventurer Test 

Scoring 

Total the number of questions that you answered with each letter. If your 

highest total is: 

A) Why are you even playing this game? Don’t you 

have to wash your hair or something? 

B) Your talents lie in the subtle arts of spell slinging 

and you are awarded an MBA! 

C) You are a blood-thirsty maniac and have a BFA! 

D) You are a slacker! Somehow, you were able to get a 

PHD from a correspondence school. 

E) You have an aptitude for Politics and Management. 

BS awaits you. 

BFA – Bachelor of the Fighting Arts 

You have an aptitude for beating the snot out of things. You spend a lot of 

time and effort in building up your physical body. You lift weights, practice 

killing things, and drink mead by the barrel-full. 

MBA – Master of the Black Arts 

Adventurers with this certification are likely to lose (or at least lease) their 

soul to a dark and evil power. Your extensive training in the Arcane Arts has 

prepared you for a career in spell casting and magic usury. Usiveness. 

Usage. Whatever. 

PHD – Physician’s Helper Degree 

Adventurers with skills in this area have no aptitude (or desire) to do much 

of anything. (Most likely, they still live with their mom.) Somehow you got 

enrolled in an online college and learned about exciting career opportunities 

available assisting in the doctor’s office. 

BS – Bachelor of Secrecy 

Adventurers with aptitudes in this area are motivated, self-starters – real gogetters. 

You do not have any footling qualms about stealing, lying, backstabbing, 

and other creative pursuits.

Standardized Adventurer Test 

What would you like your highest Stat to be? 

A) HOW ATTRACTIVE 

B) MIND 

C) STRENGTH 

D) EXTRANEOUS 

E) REFLEXES 

While walking down a corridor, you see a hideous creature from 

beyond the grave. You… 

A) Comment that its clothes are out of fashion. 

B) Enslave it to your will! 

C) Kill It! 

D) Run away screaming! 

E) Run away while maintaining a dignified silence. 

Someday, when you have enough gold, you plan to move… 

A) Someplace sunny. 

B) Into a Tower. 

C) Into a Castle. 

D) Out of your Parents’ basement. 

E) Very quickly. 

Someone insults you! You… 

A) Blush. 

B) Curse them! 

C) Kill them! 

D) Cry! 

E) Plan a devious revenge that involves poison darts. 

When you encounter a fine specimen of the opposite sex do you… 

A) Wink. 

B) Close your eyes. 

C) Order a beer! 

D) Tell them about your character. 

E) Sweet talk them, while relieving them of their valuables. 

What is your favorite color… 

A) Depends on the season. 

B) Black. Like the abyss. 

C) Red. Blood red. 

D) Blue. No, no, Yellow! 

E) Gold. Definitely gold. 

Please explain Tabriz’ Theory of Magical Acceleration and Matter 

Conservation. 

A) I like dolphins. 

B) Ω ≈ (∆ x /∞) + $h! t . In order to illustrate this point, please refer to the 

following tome... 

C) Huh? 

D) Are we talking 1 st , 2 nd , 3 rd , 3.5, or 4 th Edition? 

E) Are you talking to me? 

The best way to get past a locked door is to… 

A) Flirt with it. 

B) The old “Knock-Knock” spell. 

C) Bash it in (preferably with a literary figure)! 

D) If it’s locked, I’m sure that it’s locked for a reason. 

E) Click. Click. Click-ah. “That should do it.” 

My career goals involve… 

A) Throwing up. 

B) Casting spells and stuff. 

C) Killing things. 

D) Sitting here on this couch. 

E) Making a lot of bread. 

When I reach the 9 th Level I want others to call me… 

A) On the Beach. 

B) Oh, Great and Powerful Master. 

C) Milord. 

D) Anything except Late For Dinner. 

E) Nothing, cause they’ll never see me.

STEP STEP TWO: 

TWO: 

Start or Join a Party 

When role-playing games were young, there was an idea that you could 

define a character using a system that came to be called Alignment. 

Originally, we think it was supposed to be a guide for how to play your 

character, and an easy way to separate the Good Guys from the Bad Guys. 

While it started simply, it quickly became bloated, pointless and ridiculous to 

the point where characters were able to speak to each other in secret 

alignment languages. Somewhere along the way Order and Chaos got all 

mixed up in this too. We blame Michael Moorcock. 

Game groups were perpetually mired in arguments over whether or not a 

Chaotic Neutral character was a psychopath, and fist fights over if it was 

possible to play a True Neutral character where semi-regular convention 

experiences. Worse yet, everyone always picked alignments that put them 

at odds with the other players (and worse yet, at odds with whatever 

adventure the Game Master was planning on running). How many times 

have you rolled up an ass-kicking Assassin only to find out that the 

adventure is about saving the world from Demons, or made an awesome 

Paladin that is trying to save the poor in a game where everyone is just 

trying to get rich. 

Now, what role-playing games have always needed were “in game” goals*. 

Not just adventure objectives, but honest to goodness lofty ideals (or at least 

nefarious plots) that characters can work towards - together. So, we’re 

going to assume that you are playing this game with a few people and that 

together, you form a PARTY. If you need some help putting together a 

back-story, you could use this handy little “fill in form” to get things started. 

Once you have formed or joined an Adventuring Party, you should use your 

back-story to guide your group decision in WHAT YOU WANT. Complete 

rules for PARTY GOALS are listed in the next section. 

*Not that amassing hordes of money and trollhides isn’t a noble pursuit. But 

you know where that leads. 

Party Planning – Setting Goals, Reaping Rewards 

In traditional pen-and-paper role-playing games, game masters pour their 

heart and souls into forging campaigns from raw imagination. In the end, all 

game masters have their hearts ripped out, and their souls shredded, 

because players are always going to ruin your painstakingly thought out 

campaigns – usually on a whim, ohh look at the shiny pebbles! 

The Magic of Party Alignment will help this problem in Warhamster. At the 

start of a new campaign, you can offer your new party a menu of goals. 

Each of these goals comes with a cost in McGuffins. (WHAT”S A 

McGuffin..wouldn’t you like to know!) If the players have a goal, and it’s not 

listed here, use these goals as a guide to set the cost in McGuffins. 

During any TOWN Phase, a player can spend a STORY to “ACHIEVE THEIR 

GOAL” and collect the reward. 

Quick Party Back-story Generator 

You and your (synonym for brave) companions have 

gathered at the (a color) (chess piece)‘s (body part) (a place 

to buy beer). At a table in the shadows of the (place to buy 

beer), your party gathers to discuss your next quest. 

Motivated by (virtue or sin), you have formed a(n) 

(synonym for awesome) (another word for group or association) 

in hopes of amassing (the direct object of sin/virtue), glory 

and power!

PARTY GOALS 

Goal Description Game Effect Cost (in 

McGuffins) 

Fortress You and your party 

5 Might, 2 

build a fearsome 

Glory, 3 

Keep on the Border. 

Wealth 

Academia You start a Wizard’s Everyone in the 4 Wealth, 5 

College, and get first party gets the Arcane, 1 

pick of the hottie HEADCOUNT Glory 

freshmen 

apprentices. 

power. 

Our Bar Buy your local bar, Free Beer for 3 Wealth, 1 

and turn it into a Life. Whenever Glory 

place where 

you are in the 

everybody knows Tavern, you get 

your name. 

a free STORY to 

use to buy 

contacts. 

Go On Tour The bards travel the Since a new 5 Glory 

countryside singing contact already 

your praises 

has heard of 

you, they give 

you a Quest +1. 

Local Legend You are the BPIT You get 10% off 2 Glory, 1 

(Big Party in Town). all purchases Rosebud 

Everyone wants to be while in your 

your friend. 

town. 

Fear and Your dastardly deeds People are 5 Rosebud 

Loathing go down in the scared of you, 

annals, as the most the dM has to 

badass lot of 

spend x2 Skulls 

adventurers. 

to ambush you. 

Fear and Retire and start your You can spend 2 Wealth, 2 

Lathing own carpentry ½ the Gold to Glory 

business (or a smith, “make your 

or a brewery, or 

what not) 

own” gear. 

Found a Town Start a brand new This is your 3 Wealth, 3 

town – and name it, town, literally. Might, 3 Glory, 

Mr. Mayor. 

You start each 3 Arcane, 3 

Become a 

Pirate 

Create a 

Weapon of 

Awesomeness 

Found a 

School/Trend 

Be Filthy 

Filthy Rich 

Erect a 

Monument to 

a Fallen Hero 

Found a 

Religion 

Gain a 

Monopoly 

Move From 

Basement to 

Kitchen Table 

Summon 

Cthulhu 

Sell Your 

Character on 

Ebay 

You acquire a sailing 

vessel, and fill it with 

pirates to being 

looting the rich coast. 

Using mighty arcane 

power, you create a 

weapon of serious 

world-quaking 

power. Hahaha! 

Your exploits in a 

specific area are so 

well know, that 

people start calling it 

after you. 

Your focus is on gold, 

gold, gold. Mr 

Howell has nothing 

on you. 

Finally, you don’t 

have to play in the 

mold. You still don’t 

have girlfriends. 

You know you want 

to call him, don’t you. 

You’re done with this 

stupid game. 

Cashing in is sweet. 

Town phase 

with a Free 

Story. 

Your pirate ship 

acts as your own 

floating Tavern, 

where you can 

make contacts 

and start 

adventures. 

At the start of 

each Town 

phase, you 

produce an 

income of XXX 

gold coins. 

The party gets 

to create 2 

House Rules. 

Cthulhu destroys 

most of the 

world. 

Depends on 

what people 

give you…. 

Rosebud 

3 Might and 3 

Glory 

9 Arcane 

3 Rosebud 

9 Wealth 

1 Rosebud, 2 

Glory 

1 Rosebud 

20 Arcane, 1 

Rosebud 

Any 10

STEP STEP THREE: 

THREE: 

GET A JOB! 

Before you start playing you get to pick a Job. The Want-Ads show a list of 

possible Jobs. When you select a Job, your Adventurer gains the Starting 

Powers from that Job, and all of that Job’s Bogies. 

It’s really important to pick the right job since it determines your stats. But, 

it is also important cause most of the other player’s will only refer to your 

character as their job, and not by the elaborate name you have adorned 

your new favorite character with – which is funny, since Gamer’s by the by 

are the nicest, most accepting and least stereotypical people you will ever 

meet. But, in game, it’s always – “Hey grab the dwarf”, or “What’s the 

paladin doing?”, or “The fire wizard did what!?”. 

A Note on Races 

The lands of Aurora teem with a veritable myriad of fantastical races, each 

with epic histories and vibrant cultures. Without a doubt, each has a rich 

tradition of arts and literature, unique folk dances, and strange cuisine – but 

since this is a old school Fantasy Role-Playing Game, we decided it would be 

funny to make them all jobs. If you take an Elf Formative Action Job you are 

part of an old significant culture, otherwise you’re a Manling – There isn’t 

much to say about Manlings. They’re just regular old humans making a living 

as adventurers in the dark lands of MUDHEIM. They can belong to any job, 

aren’t especially good or bad at anything, and generally die an ignoble death 

that no one will really cry over, if it’s even noticed at all. 

The Adventurer’s Guild Want Ads 

Start a rewarding career in the Arcane Arts! Must enjoy dusty old 

tomes and talking house pets, or vice versa. Entry level positions 

open now. MBA preferred, but we’re always interested in farm boys 

with a mysterious past. 

Job: Apprentice Wizard HITS Die D4 

Powers: ZOT!, NEIGHQUILLS SPELL, CONJURE MART, BASEMENT 

Bogies: -Decorum 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D6 D10 D4 D6 D6 

Entry level position for qualified BFA students. The Knights of 

Aurora are looking for a few good creatures to carry weapons, 

groom horses, and act as human shields. 

Job: Squire HITS Die D8 

Powers: SHIELD SLAM, COOL WEAPONS, RIDE, ATHLETE 

Bogies: -Chivalry 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D6 D4 D6 D6 D6 

Wanna fight? And get paid for it? Must bring own weapon, we 

provide the war. BFA really helpful, but all angry applicants 

interviewed. 

Job: Mercenary HITS Die D10 

Powers: 

CLEAVE, COOL WEAPONS, RANGED WEAPONS, WEAPON 

MASTERY 

Bogies: -Appearances 

Stat Dice: 

HA 

D4 

M 

D4 

St 

D6 

E 

D6 

R 

D6 

Get started now in the Food Service Industry; wenches, bartenders, 

and bouncers needed. Remember, every Adventure starts in a bar! 

Job: Wench/Barkeep HITS Die D4 

Powers: MOONLIGHT, COMMIT CRIME, SHIV, COWARDICE 

Bogies: -Union Rules 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D8 D6 D6 D6 D6

Be all that you can be, assuming all that you can be is a spearcarrying 

meat shield. Major medical provided, major injuries also 

provided. BFA helpful. 

Job: SOLDIER HITS Die D8 

Powers: 

COOL WEAPONS, CAMP, BLUE ANKH/BLUE SHIELD, MEAT 

SHIELD 

Bogies: None 

Stat Dice: 

HA 

D4 

M 

D6 

St 

D8 

E 

D4 

R 

D6 

Exciting opportunities exist as a sub-legal resource allocation 

engineer. Benefits include great commissions, sleeping late, and 

the famous Guild of Thieves Holiday Party! BS is a must! 

Job: Burglar HITS Die D4 

Powers: COMMIT CRIME, HIDE & SNEAK, FOOTPAD, AVOID TRAPS 


Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D4 D6 D4 D8 D10 

Excellent franchise opportunity. Everyone hates the 

undead…young girls of extraordinary talent with a serious passion 

for undead butt kicked needed for exciting at home work. Please 

bring your own stake! BFA or BS helpful. 

Job: Slayer HITS Die D6 

Powers: 

HIDE & SNEAK, MONSTROUS LORE, COOL WEAPONS, HATED 

ENEMY (UNDEAD) 

Bogies: -The Slayer Way (+Undead) 

Stat Dice: 

HA 

D6 

M 

D6 

St 

D6 

E 

D4 

R 

D8 

Aurora is Crying! Defend the earth, hug trees, and befriend the 

creatures of the forest – all while honoring the Bran God of N’Dar 

(All Hail Regularity)! PHD required. 

Job: Druid of the Bran God HITS Die D4 

Powers: POLYMORPH SELF, SUMMON MONSTER, CHARM IT, CAMP 

Bogies: -Recycling 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D4 D6 D6 D8 D8 

ALL HAIL ZORBUG, DESTROYER OF WORLDS! Love sing-a-longs, 

acts of selfless charity, and pounding things with maces? The 

Priesthood needs your vocation! PHD preferred. 

Job: PRIEST OF ZORBUG HITS Die D8 

Powers: HEAL, SMITH, TURN ‘DEAD, MEAT SHIELD 

Bogies: -Oath of Goodness 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D6 D4 D8 D6 D4 

Have you been made redundant? Downsized? Laid off? Need some 

new training to make your way in this dangerous, dangerous 

world? Come on down and fill out a new Standardized Adventurer 

Test at the local Unemployment Office! 

Job: THE DOLE (Unemployed) HITS Die D6 

Powers: 

MOONLIGHT, NEIGHQUILL’S SPELL, BASEMENT, 

CHEERLEADER 

Bogies: None 

Stat Dice: 

HA 

D6 

M 

D6 

St 

D6 

E 

D6 

R 

D6 

The twisty streets of Thunderhawk are no place for an artist. Take 

your breakdancing to new heights as a Battle-Breakdancer, the 

most feared mercenaries in the world! BFA or BS a must! Must have 

body-piercings or tattoos! 

Job: Battle Breakdancer HITS Die D6 

Powers: BREAKDANCE, KUNG FU, HIDE & SNEAK, STEROIDS 

Bogies: -Starving Artist (Rap) 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D6 D4 D6 D6 D8 

Lift the spirits of the unfortunate, inspire heroes to greatness, and 

meet elfling groupies as a wandering minstrel. Good luck, and 

angry boyfriends, will follow you wherever you go! BS or PHD 

preferred. 

Job: Jongleur HITS Die D4 

Powers: HIGH TONGUES, POOF!, CHARM IT, RANGED WEAPONS 

Bogies: -Starving Artist (Poetry or Singing) 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D10 D4 D4 D8 D6

Rugged outdoorsmen needed to keep our forest trails clear, look 

good in odd headgear, and to stop forest fires! BFA or PHD, Hat 

supplied. 

Job: Forest Ranger HITS Die D8 

Powers: AVOID TRAPS, EAGLE EYE, RANGED WEAPONS, CAMP 


Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D4 D4 D4 D6 D10 

A bright future in Pyromancy awaits! Experienced Arcane Arson 

Specialists needed now! Great Pay and all the Fireballs you can 

cast! MBA Required. 

Job: FIRE WIZARD HITS Die D4 

Powers: HOT BURNING DEATH, CAMP, SHIV 


Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D4 D8 D4 D8 D8 

Conjure up a new career – along with the horrible beasts of the 

Netherworlds. Warlocks needed now to fill multiple positions. MBA 

Required. 

Job: Warlock HITS Die D4 

Powers: 

UNCOUTH TONGUES, MONSTROUS LORE, SUMMON 

MONSTER, HEAD COUNT 


Stat Dice: 

HA 

D4 

M 

D10 

St 

D4 

E 

D8 

R 

D6 

Live the easy life of professional jousting and Warhamster racing! 

The Mudbay Lancers are recruiting new stars for next season – the 

glamour (and the smell of wet hamster) will cling to you for years! 

BFA or BS Preferred. 

Job: MUDBAY LANCER HITS Die D4 

Powers: MOUNT, RIDE, ANIMAL TONGUES, COOL WEAPONS 

Bogies: 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D8 D4 D8 D6 D6 

Tired of just being a drunk? Become a Drunken Master! Welcome to 

the 12 Step Path to Enlightenment through Superior Ass Kicking! 

BFA or BS Given Preference. 

Job: DRUNKEN MASTER HITS Die D8 

Powers: KUNG FU, FALL DOWN, BREAKDANCE, HURT MORE 

Bogies: -Starving Artist (Drinking) 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D4 D6 D4 D4 D10 

Make top gold as a model/adventurer! Opening available for 

Danger Chix training – must like danger, excitement, and wearing 

chain mail bikinis. BS Required. 

Job: DANGER CHIX HITS Die D6 

Powers: KUNG-FU, PRIVATE EYE, GANK, BERZERKER RAGE 

Bogies: -Union Rules, -The Slayer Way (Criminals) 

Stat Dice: 

HA 

D8 

M 

D4 

St 

D6 

E 

D4 

R 

D8 

*Requires: Must be female 

Those that can’t – teach! Now, you can use your overbearing sense 

of superiority to tell other people what to do, and get paid for it! 

PHD Required. 

Job: UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR HITS Die D4 

Powers: 

KNOW (STUFF), HIGH TONGUES, HEADCOUNT, 

CHEERLEADER 

Bogies: -Starving Artist (Annoying Know It All), -Decorum 

Stat Dice: 

HA 

D6 

M 

D8 

St 

D4 

E 

D8 

R 

D6 

The Church is looking for a few GOOD creatures. Smash the infidel, 

curse the unbeliever, and kick ass in the name of the Lord! PHD or 

BFA required. 

Job: PALADIN HITS Die: D10 

Powers: COOL WEAPONS, MEAT SHIELD, INQUISITION, HEAL 

Bogies: -Oath of Goodness, -Chivalry 

Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D4 D4 D8 D6 D4

Elf FormaTivE Action Jobs 

Feel that the demi-, semi-, and hemi-humans aren’t getting a fair shake? The 

Elf Formative Action League is working for you! These jobs have recently 

been mandated, er, suggested, to your local government for posting. Happy 

job hunting! 

Every Town Needs a Good Blacksmith for budgie shoeing and moral 

instruction! Bend metal, mold minds. Dwarves only please. 

Job: DWARFLING HITS Die D8 

Powers: SMITH, CARTOGRAPHY, STEROIDS, HURL 

Bogies: Old 

HA M St E R 

Stat Dice: 

D4 D6 D10 D4 D4 

These stout-hearted, solidly built, beer-drinking louts live for hundreds of 

years. Tiny mountains of muscle and wisdom, Dwarflings enjoy drinking, 

bashing, and boring you to tears telling you everything they know about 

stonework, gems, and brewing. Though every Dwarfling will tell you how 

rare it is for them to mix with other races, nearly every town has a Dwarfling 

blacksmith or armorer looking to join up with a bunch of adventurous kids a 

tenth their age, to ravage the local sewers or catacombs. 

Do what you do best, hide in the woods and shoot people while 

crying about the poor trees! Immediate need for local Elflings. 

Job: ELFLING HITS Die D6 

Powers: RANGED WEAPONS, CHARM IT, TOUNGUES (ANY), POOF! 


Stat Dice: 

HA M St E R 

D8 D4 D4 D6 D8 

Flighty, pointy-eared, tree-hugging, immortal heroes that like to sing, dance, 

and host elaborate pagan rituals involving rings, hair, pools of silvery light, 

and tree houses. Elflings are not immune to sleep spells or a ghoul’s touch, 

they do not get +1 TOHIT with swords and bows, and they can’t see secret 

doors. However, Elfling chicks are really hot, and guys from all the other 

races fall in love with them all the time. Elflings believe they are better than 

the other races, but, for some reason, are never chosen to lead parties of 

adventurers – this might have something to do with the fact that they’re 

flighty, pointy-eared, tree-hugging wusses. 

Gnomelings needed for new operation on the Street of Tchotchkes. 

Specialists in ceramic, porcelain, tin toys, shoes, and gardening 

implements given precedence. 

Job: GNOMELING HITS Die D4 

Powers: 

COMMIT CRIME, SMITH, LIGHTNIN’ BOLT, POLYMORPH 

THING 


Stat Dice: 

HA 

D4 

M 

D8 

St 

D4 

E 

D8 

R 

D8 

Gnomelings hail from the grassy lawns of Milnor, where they once made 

delightful handicrafts – prized by gardeners everywhere. After the market for 

delightful handicrafts plummeted during the Great Tchotchke Wars, 

Gnomelings fell back on their true calling, the creation of fearsome weapons 

of mass destruction that tend to only function correctly once or twice. They 

are obsessed with knick-knacks, clockwork, steam, and small fuzzy animals. 

Feel trapped on a giant wheel? Let your inner Warhamster rage on! 

Become a Hamsterling Cage Fighter, and crowds of people will 

gather to watch you beat the crap out of hamsters and humans 

alike. 

Job: HAMSTERLING HITS Die d10 

Powers: 

KUNG FU, WEAPON MASTERY, COOL WEAPONS, BERZERKER 

RAGE 

Bogies: -Appearances 

Stat Dice: 

HA 

D4 

M 

D4 

St 

D8 

E 

D4 

R 

D6 

These semi-intelligent rat people like sewers, gold, and smiting trolls (their 

definition of “trolls” is, perhaps, unacceptably broad). Hamsterlings can see 

in the dark, and can smell what is behind doors, which makes them naturally 

good scouts and game show contestants. They also enjoy cheese, shredded 

paper, exercise equipment and cedar chips.

Gobs of cash and heaps of respect are to be had for the Gentleman 

Farmer who owns his own farm (and chooses to go wandering off 

to steal stuff from non-Halflings). 

Job Halfling HITS Die d6 

Powers HIDE & SNEAK, FOOTPAD, MOONLIGHT, RANGED WEAPONS 

Bogies -Chivalry 

HA M St E R 

Stat Dice 

d6 d6 d4 d6 d8 

A race of short, quasi-funny, hairy footed thieves and unlikely heroes. 

Considered by most sentient races (and not a few perceptive animals) to be 

fat and lazy, the Halflings consider themselves masters of the finer things in 

life – like eating and sleeping to excess. 

Are you the ultimate power gaming munchkin freak? Do you want 

to be a Quarter-Fighter Quarter-Wizard Quarter-Thief Quarter- 

Druid. Then we have a job for you – do it all, by yourself! Screw 

parties, bring on the monsters! 

Job: Quarterling HITS Die: d2* 

HOT BURNING DEATH, CLEAVE, COOL WEAPONS, GREEDY 

Powers: 

BASTARD 

Bogies: -Recycling, -Union Rules, -Starving Artist (Rules Lawyer) 

HA M St E R 

Stat Dice: 

d4 d6 D10 d6 D8 

The story varies on how the Quarterling (also called Half-Halfling, or 

Munchkins) came to be. Quarterlings claim to have been created during the 

Great Character Creation of the Races, when the Gods rolled all sixes on 

their Racial Stat Generating Dice. However, as Quarterlings are known to tell 

tales much, much, much taller than themselves, no one else really believes 

them. Most of the other races figure that Quarterlings are either an evil 

sorcerer’s attempt at creating life or a very bad joke by some malicious 

power-hungry deity. Quarterlings are really short (about 12 apples high) and 

generally become completely senseless adventurers who steal, lie, cheat, 

and min/max their abilities. HUZZAH! 

*The coin must be a Quarter!

Bogies 

Bogies are negative abilities of your Adventurer. A Bogie constrains your 

Adventurer in some way, such as a code of conduct, or creates negative 

effects to which your Adventurer is susceptible. When you receive Bogies 

record them on your Adventurer Statistic Sheet. 

Bogie List 

-Appearances: Too keep up your appearance as a big dumb jock you have 

to hide when using MIND skills, or role-play why knowing stuff isn’t so 

pansy. Otherwise, the other kids will mock you mercilessly as a “grind” or 

“tool,” and you will have to sublimate the shame by writing roleplaying game 

rules. Er, your Adventurer will. 

-Chivalry: The Adventurer must live up to the code of Chivalry (which 

means he can’t run from battle, must wear armor, cannot say no to a lady, 

and show a high appreciation for horses). 

-Decorum: Wizards and other learned men are a fussy bunch of people 

who live by a very exacting code. They can only wear Robes or Rings, and 

only use the Dagger, Rod, or Staff as a weapon. To fully enter into the spirit 

of Decorum, the player must speak with a British Accent. And a posh, 

National Shakespeare Theatre type accent, not some filthy East End throatclearing 

squawk. 

-Old: Your much older than your new “friends”, and need to constantly 

remind them of that fact. You suffer from chronic arthritis (-1 on all athletic 

rolls), hate the cold (take an extra d4 damage from COLD ATTACKS), and 

miss the good old days. 

-Oath of Goodness: The Adventurer must be “Good” at all times. He must 

tithe (that’s a tenth, 10%, ten percent) of your GC to the Church whenever 

he’s in Town. He mustn’t curse at, steal from, surreptitiously murder, or 

generally be mean to any other player’s Adventurer. (Strangers and 

foreigners are, of course, fair game.) 

-Recycling: Your Adventurer strongly believes that Aurora cries every time 

someone litters. She can’t eat meat, use metal weapons, or wear leather. 

Oh, and FUR IS MURDER! When she sees someone wearing fur she’s 

probably going to attack them. 

-The Slayer Way: Whenever an Adventurer with this Bogie encounters an 

Enemy of the type listed with this Bogie, she must kill it. 

-Starving Artist: In order for your Adventurer to use the skills of this job, 

he must perform the action in the parentheses (i.e. Rap – must rap or make 

beat box noises, Poetry – must recite a rhyming couplet, etc.). Any dM worth 

her salt will make the player do this, too. 

-Union Rules: Due to the mysterious rules of the Union, your Adventurer 

can not wear armor other than Leather, Robes, Rings, or Chain Mail Bikinis. 

She must also give aid to other members of the Union.

STEP STEP FOUR: 

FOUR: 

DETERMINE YOUR BONUS POWER 

Now that you have a job, you get to select a bonus power. Your Bonus 

Power can be any power that your certificate allows. Pick a power and 

record it on your Adventurer Statistic Sheet. Generally, you will want to 

select a “core” power for your certification – but we won’t force you to that. 

Certification Suggested Bonus Power 

BFA – Bachelor of the Fighting COOL WEAPONS or MEAT SHIELD 

Arts 

BS – Bachelor of Secrecy COMMIT CRIME or HIDE AND SNEAK 

PHD – Physician’s Helper Degree HEAL or TURN ‘DEAD 

MBA – Master of the Black Arts HOT BURNING DEATH or LIBRARY 

CARD 

PoweRs 

Powers allow your Adventurer to perform actions that are useful in and out 

of the dungeon. Some skills make you mightier in Combat, and provide a 

BONUS to your TOHIT Roll or add to your DEFENSEs. Some skills allow you 

to perform actions not directly tied to troll bashing, but still useful (like 

Picking locks to get to a weapon stash used to bash trolls, casting fireballs to 

burn trolls to cinders, or riding a battle budgie to lance a troll through his 

heart). 

Powers come in three flavors, which determine when you can use them. 

ALL THE TIME POWERS give you an ability or effect that is always 

working, you don’t have to do anything special to make them work. 

ONCE A TURN POWERS can be used on your turn, and generally require a 

roll against some defense. In many situations, the diceMaster will tell you 

what STAT DIE to roll, and what DEFENSE you are trying to beat to use your 

power. In response, you whine, argue for some bonuses, suck it up, and 

then roll your die, add up the result and bonuses, and hope that the total is 

equal to or greater than the appropriate Defense. If it does, the Adventurer 

is successful; if not, well, there’s always Resurrection spells. 

CHARGED POWERS generate a cool effect but require that you return to 

Town or CAMP before you can use them again. 

Example of a POWER Description: 

Power Name of Power Certificate Type 

Stat Die All the 

Time 

Die to Roll 

Description of the Power. 

Once a 

Turn 

Charged Town

Powers LiST 

Power ATHLETE Certificate BFA BS 

Stat Die All the Once a Charged Town 

Time 

X 

Turn 

This Adventurer receives a Bonus Die to all actions that involve swimming, 

jumping, tumbling, climbing, walking on tightropes, and anything else 

“athletic”. What is considered athletic of course is totally up to the 

diceMaster but you can always debate. 

Power AVOID TRAP Certificate BFA BS 


Time Turn 

Rd X 

One too many poison gas encounters have taught your Adventurer to avoid 

fiber rich foods and the traps and pitfalls of the dungeonspace. Whenever 

the dM spends a skull to “trap” you, you can make a Rd roll to notice the 

trap and avoid the damage / effect, the DEFENSE is the Danger Level of the 

Dungeon. 

Power 

AWESOME 

BACKPACK 

Certificate ANY 


Time Turn 

HAd X 

You get a trendy knapsack that was packed to the gills with handy doo dads 

and gizmos by the Milnor Army Gnomes. You can use this power to reach 

into the backpack and retrieve any one item that you might need. This item 

will remain for 1d6 turns after which time it folds in on itself and is sucked 

back into the backpack. Whenever you reach into the backpack, you will get 

something – but it might not be what you were looking for. Defense of the 

roll is by the chart below (if you fail, the dM gets to determine what you 

get). Roll your HAd. Common Gear ( 50 GC) def 6, Ranged Weapon def 8, Cool Weapon def 10, 

Healing Potion def 12. 

Power BAMF! Certificate MBA 


Time Turn 

Md X 

Your Adventurer gains the ability to make “near” into “far”. Take that angry 

‘Oid for example. Right now he’s near and whacking you with his little axe, 

BAMF! Now he’s far, he’s a little scared and a lot confused. You can send 

yourself or any adjacent target to any square you can see. If the target is 

willing (they must agree before you select a location) then they instantly are 

teleported (no roll needed). If the target is not agreeable then a battle of 

wills ensues. The difficulty of the Md roll is the SMARTS of the target. 

Note: no teleporting into the ground or a wall, that’s just gross and no one 

wants to clean it up. 

Power BASEMENT Certificate MBA PHD 


Time Turn 

X X 

You spent an awful lot of time in your parent’s basement reading about the 

wonders of dungeon adventuring (or “practicing” your dungeon craft with 

the help of rule books and tiny metal figurines). You gain a BONUS DIE to 

all rolls about Dungeon Lore, monsters, and the like. 

While in Town, you can communicate with the “fantasy adventure” 

underground (As in under their parent’s house...in the basement) to find 

quests and contacts. You do not have to spend a story to acquire a contact 

or quest from these pale, nerdy know-it-alls. All quests and contacts 

generated this way have to be fanboys, nerds, or otherwise geekey.

Power BERZERKER RAGE Certificate BFA 


Time Turn 

STd X 

Slashing and hacking madly about the Adventurer manages to strike at 

everyone standing around them. This skill requires a single TOHIT roll (STd) 

compare it to the ARMOR of anyone adjacent to you. Anyone struck takes 

standard damage from the weapon. Also, this is a snazzy power and it has 

an image to manage, so the player must let out a bloodcurdling bezerker 

howl (or at least chant BER-ZER-KER!) 

Power BLAST OF ENERGY Certificate MBA PHD 


Time Turn 

Md X 

Be it an acid arrow or a ray of radiant light the mechanics are all pretty much 

the same. The guy in robes points his finger, there’s an ultrarad 3d effect 

that goes streaking out, and then the target is ravaged by a mystical dose of 

some element or another. The Damage is 1d4 per level. The DEFENSE is the 

ARMOR of the target. 

Power 


Time 

BLUE ANKH/BLUE 

SHIELD 

Once a 

Turn 

Certificate BFA PHD 

Charged Town 

X 

You are covered by the strange magic of Private Health Insurance. While in 

a Town, your Adventurer can see his primary care physician to get healed for 

half the normal cost. You can also buy Prescription Healing Potions, but only 

the Generic Kind, in any store. 

Power BREAKDANCE Certificate BFA BS 


Time Turn 

Rd X 

This fearsome power, also known as “Mosh Pit”, evolved on the twisty 

streets of Thunderhawk. It allows the Adventurers to make one KUNG FU roll 

and attack everyone within a room. When you use this power, make one Rd 

TOHIT roll, and the dM compares it to the ARMOR of all enemies in the 

room. Everyone who is struck takes standard damage, as determined by the 

KUNG FU ROLL. As an added bonus the adventurer can end up in any 

square in the room, can spin on his head, move like a golem, make beat-box 

noises, and get up from being prone without using a move-equivalent action. 

Power CAMP Certificate ANY 


Time Turn 

Ed X 

You can set up a CAMPsite. This skill allows a character to do all of the really 

cool stuff that outdoorsy people seem to know how to do – pitch tents, make 

fires, tie knots, dig holes, etc. While CAMPing, Adventurers feel refreshed 

and relaxed, heal a number of HITS equal to their BEEF times their LEVEL, 

and gain back all of their Charged powers. The DEFENSE of a CAMPing roll is 

equal to the DANGER LEVEL of where you are trying to camp, against your 

Ed. Only one Adventurer can CAMP at a time, but it affects the entire party. 

IMPORTANT NOTE: Failing a CAMP roll means that you are immediately 

attacked by a RANDOM WANDERING MONSTER or national parks ranger. 

The dM gains a number of SKULLS equal to the Danger Level of the nearby 

Dungeon, usually via the dark forest (ruin, tunnel, library, etc.) which he 

must spend on this encounter though she can add more as well. 

Power CARTOGRAPHY Certificate BS MBA 


Time Turn 

Md X 

Finally, a reason to have a cartography skill in a Dungeon Game. You can 

make a Md roll against the DEFESE of the Dungeon Level. You may “move” 

or “spin” one room of the dungeon.

Power CHARM IT Certificate MBA PHD 


Time Turn 

Md X 

By means of this complicated trick, a mage can make other people do their 

bidding. Much like alcohol and “not being loved by your parents”, this trick is 

blamed for many of the stupid things that people do. “I don’t know why I 

kissed her, honey, I must have been Charmed” or “I really wouldn’t have hit 

that wagon, guardsman, except I was Charmed.” One target must obey 

your commands for your How Attractive in turns. These commands can’t be 

“overtly” suicidal or crazy. This is a Md roll and the DEFENSE is the SMARTS 

of your soon to be new best friend. 

Power CHEERLEADER Certificate PHD 


Time Turn 

HAd X 

Sure you’re not in the front of the fray holding the line or blasting away from 

the back, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a very important “roll” to 

play. (No by golly it don’t!) Being a support character means that you get the 

important job of ‘not doing anything’ so that someone more useful than you 

can do something they already do pretty well, just a little bit better. While 

you are at it, maybe you should get some HEAL dice warmed up. You can 

make a Had roll against the Level of the Character that you are “helping”, or 

you (the player) can make and recite a little cheer to avoid the roll. On the 

target’s turn, they get a free BONUS DIE to their roll. 

Power 


Time 

CIRCLE OF 

PROTECTION 

Once a 

Turn 

Certificate MBA PHD 

Charged Town 

X 

This arcane trick is pretty useful. When you get this spell, you have to decide 

what the “Something” is – like Muskrats, Poison, Fireballs, Cooties, STDs, 

etc, and have it approved by the dM When casting this trick; the magician 

draws a circle on the floor around herself. Anyone standing in the circle is 

“protected” unless the circle is broken from within (i.e. someone leaves the 

circle). All DAM caused from that source is reduced to 0. 

Power CLEAVE Certificate BFA 


Time Turn 

TO HIT X 

This Adventurer has been trained to deliver a powerful killing blow. After 

making a successful TOHIT roll, instead of rolling damage, you may spend 

this power to do DOUBLE THE MAXIMUM DAMAGE. 

Power COMMIT CRIME Certificate BS 


Time Turn 

varies X 

The Adventurer can cut purses, forge passports, jimmy locks, pick pockets, 

or engage in any other illicit activity a “thief” could do. These actions usually 

require a Rd roll to accomplish but based on the situation the dM may call for 

a STd (like breaking into a chest) or Md (like forgery) roll instead, the 

DEFENSE is typically the SMARTS of the victim. 

Power CONJURE MART Certificate MBA 


Time 

Once a 

Turn 

Charged Town 

X 

Wizards generally hate shopping (and are notoriously cheap bastards) – thus 

the invention of the Conjure Mart. Forget a tent? No problem! The Eight- 

Level Castle Spank doesn’t have room service? Got that covered! Need a 13foot 

pole to save the world, or perhaps just to steal a ruby as big as a baby’s 

head? Coming right up! Conjure Mart creates a softly glowing “magic 

substance” in the form of whatever you need from the GEAR section. This 

pseudo-item lasts for a number of turns equal to 1d4+Level.

Power COOL WEAPONS Certificate 

BFA BS 

PHD 


Time 

X 

Turn 

Training in the use of all melee weapons. (See the Weapon Chart on page 

XXX for more information). Any monkey can use a dagger, fist, dart, staff, 

club, barstool, or little sword. Using a COOLer weapon requires skill, this skill 

in fact. Adventurers with the COOL WEAPONS skill get a +1 BONUS to all 

TOHIT rolls when using a COOL Weapon. 

Power COWARDICE Certificate BS MBA 


Time Turn 

X 

Some Adventurers disdain chain mail, instead opting for the general allpurpose 

protection of sheer cowardice. In role-playing terms, this skill 

covers all forms of evasive maneuvers – dancing, tumbling, huddling in a 

corner, ducking under a table, etc. – but in reality it all means that you are 

afraid you’re going to get hit you sissy! When you use this power, it counts 

as an action – but gives the dM a PENALTY die to all attacks against you 

this turn. 

Power EAGLE EYE Certificate BS 


Time 

X 

Turn 

The Adventurer is a master marksman. He gets a Bonus Die to all rolls 

involving seeing things far away and adds +1 to all RANGED TOHIT rolls. 

Power FALL DOWN Certificate BFA BS 


Time Turn 

Rd or STd X 

Everyone can fall, but the skilled Adventurer falls well (or at least less badly). 

Any time your Adventurer takes DAM from falling, you can attempt to reduce 

the DAM to 1 with your fancy falling skills. Accomplishing this requires a Rd 

or STd roll (player’s choice) and the DEFENSE is equal to the DAM you are 

trying to avoid taking from taken from falling. 

Example: Yohn the Agile falls off the roof. He is going to take 11 DAM. 

Yohn can make a FALL DOWN roll at DEFENSE 11 to reduce the DAM to 1 

Power 

FLOAT LIKE A 

BUTTERFLY 

Certificate BFA BS 


Time 

X 

Turn 

All your friends laughed when you started with the TIEABOW lessons… but 

who’s laughing now that your abs are rock hard and your reflexes are honed 

to a razors edge?* You have shed some weight, probably done serious 

damage to your internal organs, but really look good. 

You gain +1 ARMOR DEFENSE and add your LUCK instead of BEEF to your 

HITS. 

* It’s still them. 

Power FOOTPAD Certificate BS PHD 


Time 

X 

Turn 

This Adventurer is preternaturally quiet. He’s the guy who always seems to 

walk up when no one’s looking and stare at you till you jump in surprise. 

Their dedication to NOT being seen gains them a BONUS die to any rolls 

involving stealth or hiding. 

Power GANK! Certificate BS 


Time Turn 

Rd X 

This skill is the reason that Rogues are ALWAYS being hit with Ye Olde Nerf 

Bat. You sneak up behind your target and plunge a dagger into their kidney, 

nucleus, brain stem, or some other important looking area. Making the 

attack requires a sharp, SIMPLE weapon and that your opponent isn’t aware 

of your presence. Make a Rd roll against the targets ARMOR, if successful 

the attack deals 3x standard DAM and you can take a FREE MOVE.

Power GRAZE DEAD Certificate PHD MBA 


Time Turn 

Md or Ed X 

Nothing good ever comes out of raising the dead, Period. After you ignore 

our warning and mutter the words to this spell, necrotic energy will infuses 

the ground and summons forth undead minions to do your bidding – as long 

as your bidding involves “Eat” and “Brains” that is. The undead will remain 

for 1d6 turns and the DEFENSE to summon them is the total DANGER LEVEL 

+ 1 of the Undead army being summoned. 

Power GREEDY BASTARD Certificate BS MBA 


Time 

X 

Turn 

No one ever beats you to the treasure chest and your standard ready action 

whenever you encounter a new NPC is to pick their pockets clean… You 

know who you are. Your dedication to avarice has made you quite a few 

enemies, mostly former party members, and honed your skills to a razors 

edge. Gain a BONUS die when making rolls to loot or steal things. 

Power HAIL OF ARROWS Certificate BFA BS 


Time Turn 

Rd X 

In a blur of motion the Adventurer 

launches a quiver-full of arrows 

into the air, peppering the room 

and all everyone in it with featherflocked 

death. This skill requires a 

single TOHIT roll (Rd); compare it 

to the ARMOR of everyone in the 

room/copse/passageway. Anyone 

struck takes standard damage from 

the weapon. Obviously, you would 

need a RANGED weapon to use 

this skill. 

Power HATED ENEMY Certificate BFA PHD 


Time 

X 

Turn 

You gain a BONUS die on all TOHIT rolls against one Enemy Type (Undead, 

Constructs, Humans, LARPers, etc.) 

Power HEAD COUNT Certificate BS MBA 


Time 

Once a 

Turn 

Charged Town 

X 

Whenever you are in TOWN, you may hire a henchman for free (or, as the 

wizards like to call them “familiars”). You may purchase a henchperson 

equal to 100 GC times your Level. You may only have one Henchmen at a 

time. 

Power HEAL Certificate PHD 


Time Turn 

Ed X 

HEALing is the province of clerics. By “province,” we mean “the only thing 

useful about them.” HEAL spells are the only source of medicine in the 

Realms of Aurora, and the second best proof of the existence of the Gods. 

The first best proof being a lightning bolt to the bezel of a loudmouth 

atheist. This spell restores 1dx HITS to the wounded; where X can be any 

number that you have a dice for. Using the power requires an Ed roll where 

the target is, you guessed it, X. You cannot gain more than your starting 

HITS in this way. 

Power HIDE and SNEAK Certificate BFA BS 


Time Turn 

Rd X 

The Adventurer can be sneaky, move quietly, listen at doors, and hide. The 

DEFENSE of the roll is the SMARTS of the target, if there are multiple 

targets; use the highest SMARTS in the group. If they are actively looking for 

you, increase the DIFFICULTY by the number of critters in the room.

Power 

HOT BURNING 

DEATH 

Certificate MBA 


Time Turn 

Md X 

The all-time, all-purpose, most favoritest tactical spell of a vast majority of 

magic-users (and Quarterlings) is the Spell of Hot Burning Death. This spell 

creates a swirling ball of flames that streaks to its target, engulfing them in, 

you guessed it – HOT BURNING DEATH, dealing Xd8 Damage (where X is 

your level. 

Power HURL Certificate BFA PHD 


Time Turn 

STd X 

The Adventurer tosses her weapon or shield at the target in the hopes of 

hitting them with the business end. This is a STd roll and the DEFENSE is 

the target’s LUCK. Weapons deal their standard damage and shields deal 

1d4 damage plus their Frisbee-like properties give you a BONUS die to hit 

with them. 

Power HURT MORE Certificate 

BFA BS 

PHD 


Time 

X 

Turn 

Masters of the melee arts can increase the DAM of their melee attacks by 

increasing the DEFENSE of their targets. For each +1 to DEFENSE that they 

add, they may upgrade you DAMAGE die by 1. 

Example: Richard the Furry is battling rabid were-owlbears, with an 

ARMOUR DEFENSE of 8. He has a hammer which does 1d6 damage. 

Richard can increase the DEFENSE of the wereowlbear by +1 (from 8 to 9) 

to increase the damage from his hammer from d6 to d8. 

Power IMMUNITY Certificate ANY 


Time 

X 

Turn 

Your Adventurer can not be killed by damage from one specific source. Any 

damage done by this source will always leave you with at least 1 HIT. The 

dM must okay the source you select. Examples: poison, fire, cooties, 

starvation, a ghoul’s touch, muskrat stupidity. 

Power INQUISITION Certificate PHD 


Time Turn 

Ed X 

Feared by all non-believers (and quite a few of the believers), this 

incantation is the truth serum of the anti-heresy world. By laying hands on 

the “liar” and “compelling” them to tell the truth, the caster gets all of the 

effects of torture without the use of a water board or getting the president’s 

lawyers involved. The spell requires a Ed roll against the heretic’s SMARTS. 

If successful the caster may ask 1d6 questions that the heretic must answer 

truthfully.

Power KNOW STUFF Certificate ANY 


Time 

X 

Turn 

Your character knows about something in particular – like Magic Weapons, 

Dragons, Fine Beer, and BROADWAY MUSICALS etc. Whenever the 

Adventurer makes a non-combat roll involving her particular subject, she 

gains a BONUS Die to the roll. 

Power KUNG FU Certificate BFA BS 


Time Turn 

STd or Rd X 

While anyone can slug you with their fist (for 1d2 DAM), the master of Kung 

Fu can really ruin your day with a punch, kick, or head-butt. A Kung-FU 

attack deals d4 damage. KUNG FU works just like any TO HIT roll except 

that you may roll your STRENGTH or REFLEXES. If an Adventurer takes an 

action to “center their Chi” before attacking, they can instead use a target’s 

LUCK DEFENSE or deal 1d6 DAM. 

Power LIBRARY CARD Certificate MBA 


Time Turn 

Md X 

Wizardly characters spend a lot of time in the library. Because of this, they 

are a bunch of stuck up know-it-alls. If an Adventurer with LIBRARY CARD 

makes a Md roll against the DL of the Dungeon, they can gain the benefits of 

KNOW STUFF for any subject. 

Also, your wizard has the ability to use SCROLLS and WANDS. Without this 

power, you can’t ever use these items; they’re just sticks and TP for you. 

Power LIGHTNIN’ BOLT Certificate MBA 


Time Turn 

Md X 

Nothing is more satisfying then sending a brilliant blast of lightning down a 

crowded corridor and frying everything in your path. This spell creates a line 

of electrical death that starts at the caster and extends in a straight line for 7 

squares. If the bolt hits a wall before expiring then it bounces off the wall 

and continues. The bolt does 1dX damage (where X is the closest (rounded 

down) die to the caster level. Each time a target is struck with the bolt the 

caster rolls Md against their LUCK to see if they get fried! 

Power MATEY Certificate BS PHD 


Time Turn 

X X 

You’ve spent a lot of time on ships, right Matey? You gain a BONUS DIE to 

all nautical themed rolls (like using rope, climbing poles, and loading cannons 

with buckshot and chain). While you are in a town, you can always find a 

pirate mate that has some work for you – allowing you to gain a free contact 

(or quest) – as long as that contact is a pirate. You also have to where an 

eye-patch all the time. 

Power MEATIER Certificate BFA PHD 


Time Turn 

X 

You’ve spent a bit too much time at the dinner table and as a result you’ve 

packed on a few dozen pounds. The added weight isn’t all bad news, sure 

there’s the increased risk of diabetes and heart problems but that’s tomorrow 

problems! Since there is so much more of you to go around it makes you 

that much harder to kill. In addition to adding your BEEF to your HITS each 

Level, you can also add your COUCH. You suffer a penalty die on all How 

Attractive rolls.

Power MEAT SHIELD Certificate BFA PHD 


Time Turn 

STd X 

No one knows where the term came from, but you have practiced in the 

ancient and respectable art of taking a punch (or a sword, catapult load, or 

dragon breath) for the team. You’re so used to being attacked, that getting 

people to focus their hatred on you, instead of the squishier members of 

your party, has become second nature.* Using this power requires a STd roll 

against the target’s SMARTS. To goad something really lazy into attacking 

you, you might test against its COUCH Defense. A successful role will cause 

an enemy to focus on killing you before moving on to someone else. 

* And earned you a respected place in a ultra 7337 raiding guild. 

Example: Galcia the Fighter is afraid that the Mad Battle Budgie is going to 

kill the Assistant Headmaster of the Mudhiem Public Library with its vicious 

beak. Using MEAT SHEILD, Galcia makes a roll trying to beat the Budgies 

SMARTS DEFENSE of 7. She rolls her STRENGTH Die (d8) and adds her level 

(2). 

Power 

MONSTROUS 

LORE 



Time Turn 

Md X 

Knowledge of monsters, their habits, their abilities and their favorite snacks. 

Ask the dM 1d6 questions about the monster (its STRENGTH, how many 

HITS it has left, any BOGIES it has, etc) and then make a Md roll, the 

DEFENSE is the DANGER LEVEL of the critter. If you succeed the dM must 

answer your questions honestly, If you fail, she is probably going to lie. 

Power MOONLIGHT Certificate 

BFA BS 

PHD 


Time Turn 

Ed X 

The Adventurer has a part-time job that can be used to gain additional Gold 

Coins. If someone is whining about wasting the party’s time in town, when 

you should be off dungeoning, because you don’t want to do anything else 

(like heal, shop, etc.) then you can spend time in town working. The harder 

the job, the better the pay. Finding a job requires a Ed roll and the DEFENSE 

is determined by the jobs complexity…. It’s easier to find work as a janitor 

than a brain surgeon. Adventurers may only MOONLIGHT once per visit to a 

town. 

GC DEFENSE Sample Job 

1d10 4 Grinding, tending, or lifting (miller, guard, porter) 

2d10 8 Making simple things (blacksmith, tanner, baker) 

3d10 12 Making not-so-simple things (bartender, muskrat limner) 

Power 

NEIGHQUILL’S 

SPELL OF 

SOMNOLENCE 



Time Turn 

Md X 

A good Sleep spell is the best friend of the low-level magic-user. This trick 

causes 1 enemy to fall asleep on their feet (or their fins, gelatinous butt 

region, pseudopod, or whatnot) for 1d4 turns. The target instantly wakes up 

if someone hits them. Make an Md roll against the SMARTS of the target.

Power 

POLYMORPH 

(S/T/O) 

Certificate MBA PHD 


Time Turn 

Md X 

A cute little trick, this incantation allows the spell caster to turn herself, or 

something else, or someone else (depending on the particular Trick) into 

something else. While it seems complicated, the end result is a “Fwoomp!” 

noise, a little smoke, and a transformation. This doesn’t allow impersonation, 

being a kind of sloppy spell in many respects. Target polymorphs (a fancy 

gamer term for change shape) into some critter for 1d6 turns. While 

“polymorphed” the creature has the stats and abilities of that creature, but 

they retain their own MIND. The DEFENSE of this spell depends on whether 

or not you are casting it on a willing subject. If the target is willing, the 

DEFENSE is the DANGER LEVEL of the new form. If the target is unwilling, 

then the DEFENSE is the victim’s Adventurer or DANGER LEVEL plus the new 

form’s level. 

Example: Toad, the Wet Druid, wants to polymorph Griff the Puny into a 

“Hedge” Knight. Griff is willing (of course) and the dM reveals that a “Hedge” 

Knight is Danger Level 5. So, the DEFENSE is 5. The next day, Toad wants to 

polymorph an Ogre into a Hamster, which liberty the Ogre is quite unwilling 

to condone. The Ogre is DL 8 and the Hamster is DL 1, so the DEFENSE is 1 

minus 8 , or absolute value of -7, or 7. If Toad wanted to turn Charley the 

Guardian Goblin (DL 2) into a Turbonium Dragon (DL 14), the DEFENSE 

would be 12. 

Power POOF! Certificate BS MBA 


Time 

Once a 

Turn 

Charged Town 

X 

The Adventurer disappears in a poof of smoke (or arcane sparkles) and turns 

invisible. The invisibility lasts for 1dX turns (where X is the closest die 

rounded down to the Adventure Level) or until the Adventurer uses another 

skill/attacks/does anything exceptionally stupid. 

Power PRIVATE EYE Certificate BS MBA 


Time 

X 

Turn 

Your Adventurer has honed her powers of observation. You receive a BONUS 

DIE on all rolls that involve looking around, being surprised, finding stuff, 

eating donuts, etc. 

Power 

RANGED 

WEAPONS 

Certificate 

BFA BS 

PHD 


Time Turn 

Rd X 

Training in the use of ranged weapons – bows, knives, hurled beer bottles, 

somewhat aerodynamic stones, etc. – to attack things. Adventurers roll 

against ARMOUR DEFENSE to strike with Ranged Weapons, using their Rd. 

If an Adventurer takes an action to “aim” before attacking, they can instead 

use a target’s LUCK DEFENSE.

Power RIDE Certificate ANY 


Time Turn 

STd X 

The Adventurer can ride a mount (i.e., anything with a saddle – horse, battle 

budgie, Warhamster, Turbonium Dragon, et al.) Mounting up requires a STd 

roll against the target’s SMARTS. 

Example: Sir Ted wants to Ride a Battle Budgie into combat. The Battle 

Budgie has a MIND of 8, which gives it a 2 SMARTS. The DIFFICULTY to 

RIDE one is 2 dice. 

Power SHIELD SLAM Certificate BFA 


Time Turn 

STd X 

When your opponent least expects it you mash your shield right into their 

face. This has a number of effects, first they take 1d6 damage, also they 

look funny with their nose all smashed in, finally since it really smarts they 

have decided to make you pay for the insult and won’t attack anyone else till 

you are dead. The TOHIT roll is STd against the targets SMARTS. 

As a bonus, you may consider the SHIELD a COOL WEAPON that does 1d6 

damage. 

Power SHIV Certificate BS MBA 


Time Turn 

Rd X 

Being in the big house taught you a few things… one NEVER reach for the 

soap and two, sometimes a quick blade in the back is allot more your speed 

than a drop down drag out fight to the death. When using any SIMPLE 

weapons you can roll Rd in place of STd when making a TOHIT roll. The 

DEFENSE is usually the target’s ARMOR. 

Power SMITH Certificate BFA PHD 


Time Turn 

Ed X 

You can turn non-weapon gear and other objects into makeshift (SIMPLE) 

weapons (there really isn’t that much call for a SMITH’s fine art degree deep 

in the dungeon). The first time that you “fail” a TOHIT roll with a weapon 

made by this skill, you destroy the jury-rigged makeshift item in question 

(and the items used to make it). The DAM of the weapon is based on the 

GEAR used in its construction (1 piece, 1d4, 2 pieces 1d6, 3 pieces 1d8, etc.) 

Power 

SPIRITUAL 

HAMMA 

Certificate PHD 


Time Turn 

Ed X 

Gods love their clerics, that’s typically why they give them the most useful 

powers. Take this one for example if they need to heal a wounded ally… 

Spiritual Hamma. If they need to smiteth their enemies… Spiritual Hamma. 

It’s really handy. Make an Ed roll against the LUCK of the Target, you do Xd2 

damage (or healing on your friends) where X is the caster level. 

Power STABLES Certificate BFA PHD 


Time 

Once a 

Turn 

Charged Town 

X 

Whenever you are in TOWN, you may hire a Mount* for free (or, as the 

druids call them “animal companions”). You may purchase a mount equal to 

100 GC times your Level. You may only have one mount at a time. 

Power STEROIDS Certificate BFA 


Time 

X 

Turn 

The Adventurer has dipped into the weight room a few times and is a 

hulking brute. He gets a Bonus Die to all rolls involving the lifting or breaking 

of things. The adventure adds +1 to all melee DAMAGE.

Power 


Time 

SUMMON 

MONSTER 

Once a 

Turn 


Charged Town 

X 

According to “Monster Summoning for Fun and Profit,” you can get a lot of 

work out of a Troll that does your bidding. A puff of acrid blue smoke 

appears and deposits a monster in a square adjacent to you. This monster 

will obey your commands – but they generally only like to do physical tasks 

like bashing, carrying, and eating the spleens of your enemies. They hate it 

when a magic-user summons them up to help with a crossword, or because 

“I really need a date, put this wig on!” The Monster stays around until it is 

killed, or for 1dX rounds (where X is the nearest die rounded down to your 

caster level). The monster summoned has a Danger Level equal to your 

Level +1. 

Example: As a 3 rd Level Warlock, Tabriz can summon a 4 th level Monster for 

1d2 rounds. When Tabriz is a 6 th Level, he gets a 7 th Level Monster for 1d6 

rounds. As a mighty 9 th Level Master Warlock, he can summon a 10 th level 

Monster for 1d8 rounds. 

* Note: While generally called Summon Monster, the correct legal name of 

the trick is “Tabriz’ Spell of Conjuration of Non-Adventurer Race Non-Undead 

Non-Elemental Non-Animal Monsters.” 

From “Summoning Monsters for Fun and Profit”… 

Power TONGUES Certificate ANY 


Time Turn 

Ed X 

The ability to talk with the stranger things in life – like animals, monsters, 

and foreigners. The dumber a creature is, the harder it is to talk to (the 

DEFENSE of the roll is listed below). HIGH TONGUES allow an Adventurer to 

speak and read the languages of the more civilized races. ANIMAL TONGUES 

let you talk to animals. We don’t really know why you would want to talk to 

animals – they really don’t have anything much to say – but Druids and 

Wizards are always doing it in the books, so here you go. Even less useful is 

talking with monsters. UNCOUTH TOUNGUES give you access to the 

languages of the less civilized races found on the Continent of Ham. Not that 

you will ever need this, except to waterboard prisoners into giving up the 

location of their gold (generally translated as “negotiating,” in the High 

Tongues). 

Please note: Due to the dominance of Humans in the world, and to the 

parlous state of public education, most races don’t know how to speak their 

ancestral tongues (so an Elfling character still needs the skill HIGH TONGUES 

to speak High Elfian). 

DEFENSE HIGH UNCOUTH ANIMAL 

0 High Common Vulgar Muskrats/Badgers 

2 Half-Common Kobonics Cats/Dogs/Hamsters 

4 High Elfian Orkish Horses/Budgies 

6 Dwarfik Dragonese Other Mammals 

8 Gnomelish Trollish Mythical Beasties 

10 High Hamsterian Elementalatin Birds/Reptiles 

12 Quarter-Common Darkelfian Farm Animals (is 

dumb!) 

14 Ancient N’Darian Gobbledygook Fish/Insects

Power 

TOUCHED BY AN 

ANGEL 

Certificate PHD 


Time Turn 

X 

A higher (or lower) power has taken an unnatural interest in you… You find 

feathers in your bed, the odor of sulfur lingering on your unmentionables. 

It’s actually a little creepy. The sole benefit to this otherworldly attention is 

that your connection to the divine has never been stronger. Gain a BONUS 

die when trying to anything priestly or clericy, like healing or playing with the 

undead. 

Power TURN ‘DEAD Certificate MBA PHD 


Time Turn 

Ed X 

This popular spell (receiving both the Church of Zorbug! Destroyer of Worlds 

Award and the League of Necromancers Good Cryptkeeping Seal) channels 

energy to make the ‘Dead run away from you screaming (or shamble away 

from you moaning, as the case may be). All Undead “rebuked” must run 

away for at least 1d6 turns. This is a Ed roll and the DEFENSE is the total of 

your target’s LEVELs, minus your level. 

Example: Nathan the Holey* Martyr (Level 3) wants to rebuke a Ghoul 

(DL3), a Zombie (DL2), and 3 skeletons (DL1). The Total DANGER LEVEL is 

8. The Defense is 8-3=5. 

*Not a misspelling, just a bad joke. 

Power 

WEAPON 

MASTERY 

Certificate BFA BS 


Time 

X 

Turn 

Select a weapon when you take this Power. With the chosen weapon, you 

add your level to the DAMAGE dealt on a successful TOHIT roll. And yes, 

you can be a master of the fist, head butt, or groin kick. 

Power ZOT! Certificate MBA 


Time Turn 

Md X 

The most basic offensive Trick. (Not the most offensive Trick, which would 

involve tentacle-porn, furries, and asparagus farts.) This is your basic bolt of 

“ouch-light” in missile, arrow, bolt, ball, or dart form. Do 1dX DAM to a 

target you can see (where X is the closet die rounded down to your level but 

at least a d4). This is an Md roll and the DEFENSE is the ARMOR of the 

target. 

Power Certificate 


Time 

Once a 

Turn 

Charged Town

STEP STEP FIVE 

FIVE 

Array Your Stats 

In Warhamster, your Adventurer has five stats: HOW ATTRACTIVE, 

STRENGTH, MIND, EXTRANEOUS, and REFLEXES. These determine how 

good your Adventurer is at doing things – like casting spells, picking locks, or 

slaying your enemies and other pesky or prosperous-looking strangers. 

Unlike other games, Warhamster cares whether or not you accidentally nerf* 

your character. Your designer’s care enough about your newly created hero 

to avoid all of the unnecessary bloodshed and existential angst caused by 

endlessly rolling up and subsequent crumbling up of character’s whose stats 

just don’t cut the mustard. To reduce this inhumane treatment of characters, 

Warhamster assumes that you want the just right stats for your class, so 

we’ve gone ahead and assigned them for you. 

You can find your starting stats listed with your Job description. 

* “To nerf” is geek for “to gimp**.” 

** “To gimp” is nerd for “to make crappy”. 

WHAT THE HECK IS A STAT DIE? 

Wait, so do I roll that? No, in Warhamster your stat is a die! Instead of 

having a complicated system where you have a stat that you roll, and then 

figure out what effect that roll has on other rolls as a modifier – see how 

complicated that sounds – you just assign a Die to each of your stats. To 

make it even simpler, we’re going to call them STAT DICE from now on. 

Whenever the diceMaster tells you to make a roll, she will tell you which 

Stat is being tested, and therefore what STAT DIE to roll. Usually, you will 

have some modifiers to this roll, based on POWERS, ITEMS, CONDITIONS, 

and Your Level. The higher your roll the better. 

UPGRADE ONE STAT DIE 

When you start a new character you can select one stat to “upgrade” (this is 

what makes your character unique and special*). You upgrade a stat by 

incrementing the die by one size (i.e. d4 to d6, d6 to d8, d8 to d10, and d10 

to d12.) 

** Yeah, we know – your character is unique because of the detailed backstory 

you’ve just completed in a 40 page spiral binder. Whatever. 

After you are satisfied with your decision record your Adventurer’s Stat Dice 

on their Adventurer Statistic Sheet. 

A quick aside on Starting Stat Dice. 

You may have noticed (if you are a math nerd*) that if you add up the 

Starting Stat Dice and your Starting HITS DIE, that you get 36. You win 

a prize. Whenever you are designing a new job for Warhamster – the 

combination of these six dice should equal 36. 

* And the likelihood of a math nerd reading this footnote is a lot 

better than 725 to one. 

Before stat Upgrade 

After stat Upgrade

The five stat dice 

HOW ATTRACTIVE DIE (HAd) – Is simply HOW ATTRACTIVE your 

Adventurer is. The higher the Stat Die, the better looking he is. That’s all, 

really. The dM will have your roll your HAd (How Attractive Die) when the 

test is based on your appearance, immediate reactions, and other “luck” 

situations. 

MIND DIE (Md) – Is the intelligence, knowledge, and self-control of your 

Adventurer. It determines how well she performs mental feats like casting 

magic spells, hiding, or speaking with the other races. The dM will have 

you roll your Md (Mind Die) whenever you are trying to be crafty, use magic, 

spot or notice things, etc. 

STRENGTH DIE (STd) – Is how big, mean, tough, and strong your 

Adventurer is. When he wants to break something, lift something, hurt 

something, or otherwise act macho, you roll your STRENGTH die. The dM 

will have you roll your STd (STrenght die) for most close combat rolls, 

athletic things like climbing or swimming, and when you try to look 

menacing. 

EXTRANEOUS DIE (Ed) – Is a nearly useless Stat, for things like mapping, 

swing dancing, or being a cleric. The higher this Stat, the better your 

Adventurer is at doing stupid, inconsequential things. Every game has a Stat 

like this – Warhamster just cops to it. The dM will have you roll your Ed 

(Extraneous Die) whenever there is really no purpose, or at least not a 

purpose keeping in the spirit of the troll-mashing. 

REFLEXES DIE (Rd) – Is how agile and dexterous your Adventurer is. 

When she wants to keep her balance, jump, dodge, or run away, you roll 

your REFLEXES Die. It determines how good an Adventurer is at not getting 

hit. The dM will have you roll your Rd (Reflexes die) when you are 

performing ranged combat, swinging on chandeliers, and trying to run away. 

You also roll your REFLEXES Die to find out many squares you move on your 

turn. 

The hits die - The Other Stat 

When you look at your Job, you may have noticed another STAT DIE like 

notation – your HITS DIE. This is like a stat cause it determines how hard 

you are snuff out, but you don’t roll it. Well that’s a lie – you do roll it, but 

only once a level. 

When you create an Adventurer, and whenever you raise a level you roll 

your HITS DIE, add your BEEF, and record (or add to) HITS. 

Note: If anyone starts arguing about whether or not to allow Adventurers to 

have maximum starting HITS, the authors would like to point out the HOUSE 

RULES! Rule on page XX. By using this powerful force, the players can gang 

up on the dM and institute House Rule 1.0, the STARTING ADVENTURERS 

GET MAXIMUM HITS Rule. 

Strength vs. Reflexes

STEP STEP SIX SIX 

SIX 

COMPUTE YOUR DEFENSES 

SO WHAT IS A DEFENSE? 

Whenever you make a roll, you are trying to match or beat some number – 

this is called a DEFENSE. When the dM or another player are trying to do 

something directly against you – the difficulty of that action is determined by 

your DEFENSES which are based on your stat dice and level. There are FIVE 

BASIC DEFENSES (hey, just like stat dice…peculiar): Luck, Smarts, Beef, 

Couch and Armor. 

DON’T FORGET: Just like STAT DICE rolls, you always add 

your LEVEL to your DEFENSE. 

ARMOR: Probably the most common DEFENSE (since it’s the one that 

determines how hard you are to get skewered by spears or roasted by 

Turbonium Dragonfire.). ARMOR is based on your REFLEX die, but can be 

augmented by – you guessed it – wearing armor. 

BEEF: There are a lot of advantages to being strong, like living when you 

get stabbed by a troll’s spear. Attacks like poison, wrestling, and someone 

trying to ride you are all defended by your BEEF. BEEF is based on your 

STRENGTH Die. Pendants, magic gauntlets, and body-building can all boost 

your BEEF. 

COUCH: Your Couch Defense is pretty, well, useless. There aren’t a lot of 

attacks that target your Couch Defense (unlike the real world where we are 

assaulted by useless Couch inducing attacks by TV and Video Games). 

COUCH is based on your EXTRANEOUS DIE. 

LUCK: Ever wonder why the beautiful people seem to get all the brakes in 

life- cause their LUCK DEFENSE is so High. LUCK is based on your HOW 

ATTRACTIVE Die. Cool clothes, hairstyles, and lucky charms can all boost 

your LUCK. 

SMARTS: Some attacks – like sneaky stuff, illusions, and lying – use your 

SMARTS to defend against. Adventurers with high SMARTS defense are 

better at avoiding magic, mind control, and catching sneaky little bastards. 

SMARTS is based on your MIND die. Reading, floating stones that revolve 

around your head, and playing role-playing games can all boost your 

SMARTS. 

COMPUTE YOUR STARTING DEFENSES 

The base rating for each DEFENSE is equal to YOUR LEVEL + ½ STAT DIE 

(or thereabouts). Here’s a handy chart to make it easy. 

STAT DIE BASE DEFENSE CALC DEFENSE at 1 st Level 

d2 1+Level 2 






Example: Heather wants to make a Paladin whose starting stats are: HA 

d4, M d4, St d8, E d6, and R d4. Her Base LUCK DEFENSE is equal her Level 

(1 st ) + ½ of the applicable stat (in this case How Attractive); so her LUCK is 

1 + 2 or 3. Her ARMOUR on the on the other hand is bitchin! 

Pally’s have the best Defenses…including Tax Shelters.

STEP SEVEN 

IT MUST BE MINE! Go Shopping 

In the lands of Aurora, warring peoples and races find little in common with 

each other – and seldom agree on anything. Luckily, blood feuds and racial 

enmity do not extend into the realms of Finance and Accounting, since even 

people who hate your guts will take your money. In fact, people who hate 

your guts will often go out of their way to take your money. Thus, all the 

nations on the Continent of Ham have a single currency – the Gold Coin 

(GC). 

STARTING GOLD 

Every Adventurer starts with 25 Gold Coins (GC) times their starting LUCK 

DEFENSE. 

GEAR 

Some adventuring parties feel the need to record unimportant gear like 

torches, food, water, leg irons, and 10-foot poles on their Adventurer 

Statistic Sheets. In actual practice, equipment of any kind is hardly ever 

used, in an effort to get to the real meat of the game (i.e. sticking your 

sword in things or fireballing trolls). If your group doesn’t skip over details 

like plot, Adventurer development, and non-combat resolution, here is a list 

of stuff that can be bought at your average inn, store, temple, etc. 

If there isn’t an explanation of the gear you just bought, it’s because it’s a 

simple, ordinary item, the kind you’d have around the house every day. 

Some items are –Charged, which means they may only be used once and are 

useless until the Adventurer CAMPs or returns to Town, at which point the 

item is recharged and can be used once more. -Single Use items are 

destroyed when used. 

WEAPONS 

Waging war against the unwashed teeming masses of evil is a rough sport. 

In order to bash evil creatures into submission or bloody heaps (your 

preference), your Adventurer will need to arm herself with the biggest, 

meanest, sharpest weapon available. 

WEAPON DAM(age) Gold Coins POWER 

Needed? 

Fist 1d2 Free None 

Dagger * 5 None 

Dart 1d2 5 None (and little 

pride) 

Staff 1d4 15 None 

Little Sword 1d4 15 None** 

K’Dar Army 

Knife*** 

1d4 20 COOL 

Club 1d4 25 None 

Mace 1d6 25 COOL 

Hammer 1d6 25 None 

Shortbow 1d6 45 RANGED 

Hand Axe 1d6 45 RANGED 

Axe 1d8 50 COOL 

Crossbow 1d8 65 RANGED 

Big Sword 1d10 75 COOL 

Longbow 1d10 150 RANGED 

Honking Sword 1d12 230 COOL 

Dwarfling Axe 2d8 578 COOL 

Siege Weapon 1d100 999 RANGED 

* Note: In order to preserve realism, it is assumed that your Adventurer is a 

wizard, or a wimp, if he is using a dagger. Either way, he obviously has no 

idea how to fight, so instead of rolling a TOHIT roll, flip a coin. If it comes up 

heads, you do 1 DAM to your enemy. If it comes up tails, you do 1 DAM to 

yourself. Thrown daggers are much cooler, and always do 1 DAM to your 

enemy assuming you hit. 

** But you will have to take crap from Trolls and Budgie Riders. 

*** The K’Dar Army Knife has a knife, spoon, fork, lock pick, tweezers, and a 

quill in the handle. Only the knife part does any DAM.

ARMOR 

Since the desire to “not die” is as strong in most Adventurers as their desire 

to accumulate mountains of gold or massive arcane power, Adventurers have 

taken to covering themselves with shiny bits of metal and strips of leather, 

known as armor. We note without prejudice that if an Adventurer has 

pitifully low Stats, not wearing armor is the fastest way to get them killed in 

order to roll one up who is bigger and better. Most Armor gives a bonus to 

ARMOR DEFENSE. 

Armor Type ARMOR 

DEFENSE 

Edge Cost 

‘Nekkid +0 0 

Robes +0 +Scholarly 10 

Fur Armor +1 30 

Leather +1 30 

Shield +1 60 

Chain Mail 

Bikini 

+1 +HOT 100 

Ring Mail +2 +Heavy 150 

Chain Mail +3 200 

Scale Mail +4 +Heavy 250 

Plate Mail +5 +Heavy 300 

Plate Mail 

+5 +HOT and 

350 

Bikini 

+HEAVY 

Knight Armor +6 +Feudal 500 

Dragon Scale +7 +Enduring 

(Fire) 

1000 

Magic +X (Select an 

Edge) 

ARMS AND ARMOR EDGES 

+100 

Powerful wizards, legendary smiths, and Monty Haul dMs can imbue items 

(Gear, Weapons, or Armor) with arcane power, generally in the form of 

+Edges. Each +Edge that an item has increases its base cost by 100 GC. 

+Dwarfling-Made: This item adds +1 Armor Defense. 

+Elfling-Made: This item adds +1 squares to Move Actions. 

+Enduring: This item grants the user the effects of +Immunity. 

+Flaming: Once per adventure, this item erupts into flame, doing +1d4 

DAM. 

+Feudal: This item increases your BEEF Defense by 2. 

+Heavy: This item gives the wearer a PENALTY DIE to all MOVE and 

REFLEX actions. 

+Holy: This item increases your COUCH Defense by 2. 

+Hot: This item grants a “free” upgrade to your How Attractive Stat (which 

thereby increases your LUCK DEFENSE by 1). 

+Kosher: This item is considered to be made of wood (and thus safe for – 

Recylcers), but somehow still works. 

+Ork Power: This weapon adds +2 DAM. 

+Plus: This weapon adds +1 DAM. 

+Power: This item can be used as a RANGED WEAPON, dealing 1d4 DAM. 

+Scholarly: This item increases your SMARTS Defense by 2. 

+Wizardly: This item increases your SMARTS Defense by 2.

ADVENTURING GEAR 

GOLD COINS 

10-Foot Pole 1 

12 Man Tent 25 



5 Spikes 1 

A Level 100 x Level 

Adventure Insurance 15 

Alacrity 5 

Backpack 5 

Bedroll 9 

Beer 2 

Body Piercings/Tattoos 15 

Boots of Elflingkind 200 

Cigarettes 3 

Cloak of Elflingkind 200 

Food (any) 1 

Garlic 1 

Guaranteed Treasure Map 38 

Hair Dye 8 

Hat of Holding 215 

Healing 20 x Level 

Henchman 100 x DL 

Holy Symbol, Basic 25/* 

Holy Water, Vial 8 

Leg Irons 3 

Lock Picks 15 

Magic Carpet 430 

Magic Staff, Generic * 

Mount 100 x DL 

Pick/Shovel/Tool 8 

Potion, Generic Healing 30 

Potion, Growth 80 

Potion, Poison 35 

Potion, Prescription Healing 50 

Ring of Fur 261 

Ring of Invisibility 378 

Silver Mirror 15 

Treasure Sack 1 

Waterskin 1 

Psychoanalysis 25 

Gear descriptions 

Adventure Insurance: A hedge bet that the Adventurer won’t be coming 

back from your most recent trek into the unexplored depths of Aurora intact. 

For a measly 15 gold pieces, if she gets hurt while on this adventure, she is 

protected with all of the advantages of +Blue Ankh/Blue Shield. Isn’t peace 

of mind for you and your loved ones worth it? -Single Use. 

Boots of Elflingkind: Allows your Adventurer to move without making noise, 

granting a Bonus Die to all HIDE & SNEAK rolls. 

Cloak of Elflingkind: Grants your Adventurer the benefits of power 

+COWER, but only in wilderness settings. 

Holy Symbol, Basic: In the hands of any Adventurer, this will give her +2 to 

all DEFENSES when fighting the undead. A Holy Symbol is needed to PRAY, 

just as a Magic Staff is needed to CAST. 

Holy Water Vials: Can be used as a Ranged Weapon that does 2d4 DAM to 

undead, devils, and demons. -Single Use. 

Healing: Restores your Adventurer to full HITS. The cost of Healing is 20 GC 

times the level of the character being healed. -Single Use. 

Magic Staff, Generic: This is your basic every day magic staff (also counts as 

a weapon). 

Potions of Prescription Healing: Restore 2d10 HITS to an Adventurer. -Single 

Use. 

Potions of Generic Healing: Restore 2d6 HITS to an Adventurer. -Single Use. 

Ring of Fur: Allows your Adventurer to turn into a hamster at will. – 

Charged. 

Potion of Growth: Called “Potion de Via Gras” in the haunting dialect of 

Elflingkind, it gives your Adventurer 2 BONUS DICE to HOW ATTRACTIVE 

rolls for 1d6 turns. -Single Use. 

Potion of Poison: Deals 2d10 DAM to anyone who drinks it. The imbiber 

makes a STRENGTH roll against DEF XXXX , taking only half damage if he 

succeeds. -Single Use. 

Psychoanalysis: You pop into the confessional, lie down on a headshrinker’s 

table, or possibly just bend the ear of the bartender till he tells you to quit

your whining. You may roll for a new motivation, and remove your current 

one without completing it. 

Ring of Invisibility: A highly prized magic item, since every Adventurer has an 

adolescent fantasy about women’s locker rooms. The user can use this ring 

to turn Invisible. Bet you didn’t know that, huh! While invisible, the 

Adventurer can’t attack anyone or use powers, since the “no fun” spell on 

the ring shorts out the invisibility. –Charged. 

Guaranteed Treasure Map: This bona fide wonder gives an Adventurer a 

Bonus Die on all CARTOGRAPHY rolls for the duration of an adventure. - 

Single Use. 

Hat of Holding: This item is a staple in the magic community, as they need 

some place to keep their rabbits. It can hold up to 200 pounds of crap, but 

only weighs 1 pound. 

Magic Carpet: This woven wonder is hard to find, but gets great mileage. It 

can hold up to 1,000 pounds and still remain floating. Using a Magic Carpet 

requires the RIDE power. –Charged. 

Henchmen 

These loyal companions can carry your stuff, scrape your boots, protect you 

while you sleep, and die horribly while in your employ. For each 100 GC 

spent on a Henchman, he can have one of the following Edges. All 

henchman have a D4 in each stat, and have d4 HITS. 

HENCHMEN EDGES CHART 

+Familiar Grants the +Know (Stuff) power. 

+Loyal Can be sacrificed to avoid a RANDOM WANDERING 

MONSTER roll. 

+Guard Adds +1 to your ARMOR DEFENSE. 

+Mapper Grants the +CARTOGRAPHY power. 

+Demi Has a d10 in any stat you want. 

+Monstrous Has a d8 STR, and d8 HITS. 

+Porter Can carry 300 lbs of gear. 

+Saddled Can be ridden on a successful RIDE roll. 

+Suicidal Can be sacrificed to grant surprise on an enemy. 

+Translator Grants the UNCOUTH TONGUES or HIGH TONGUES 

power. 

+Valet Grants the CAMP power 

+Handy Grants the AWESOME BACKPACK Power 

+Encouraging Acts like the power CHEERLEADER 

Some henchman can have Bogies as well, which reduce their cost by 50 GC 

per Bogie. 

HENCHMEN BOGIES CHART 

-Foreign Requires an 8 DEF TONGUE Roll of the appropriate type 

to tell the Henchman what to do. 

-Hungry Requires 10GC worth of food whenever you go to a 

TOWN. 

-Mercenary Requires 10GC as payment before they go into a 

dungeon. 

-Cowardly If the Henchman takes damage, they run away. 

Example: Gand the Elf, a 4 th level fire wizard, hires Mungo the Troll as his 

henchman. Mungo has +Saddled, +Porter, +Valet, and -Foreign and thus 

costs 350 GC. Gand can ride Mungo around while Mungo carries his stuff and 

makes his camp. Luckily, Gand speaks pretty good Trollese.

STEP STEP EIGHT 

EIGHT 

The Finishing Touches 

Now that you have finished the easy part of making an Adventurer, all you 

have left is the hardest thing in all of role-playing to do – naming your 

Adventurer! 

The other little details are completely left up to your own imagination (and 

temperament), like hair color, age, friends, enemies, 42-page treatises on 

your Adventurer’s genealogy, their sexual proclivities, etc. The one thing that 

you must have is a name. In extremis, you may roll on the Random Name 

Table. Roll 1d6 twice to generate a name of faultless adventuring heritage. 

Roll (2d8) First Part Second Part 

2 Awe- -Sum 

3 Rag- -Dor 

4 Gresh- -Nar 

5 Tone- -Rick 

6 Krav- -Tram 

7 Vala- -Mir 

8 Lori- -Sil 

9 Tab- -Kor 

10 Raeb- -Gin 

11 Con- -Ted 

12 Star- -Aul 

13 Is- -Wa 

14 Al- -Ges 

15 George- -And 

16 Ringo- -Man 

Example: Carson rolls a 4 and a 9, and thus gets “Gresh” and “Kor” for the 

mighty name “Greshkor.” This strikes Carson as a stupid name, so he names 

his adventurer “Stabbo the Magnificent” and gets on with the fricking game. 

STEP STEP NINE 

NINE 

PLAY! (Or at least complain that you aren’t playing yet) 

Complain that everyone else is still making their Adventurers and that you 

are ready to play. When appropriate, complain loudly that it was your idea to 

get character creation out of the way before you all got together so that you 

could focus on some monster mashing!

STEP STEP TEN 

TEN 

DING! GRATZ! 

Did You just raise a level? You probably didn’t actually gain a level yet, but 

we know that all you gamers out there are already trying to figure out what 

is the most optimal build for your Adventurer, and how can you do that 

without knowing how to raise levels… 

Raising Levels! 

Whenever you are in a TOWN, and have enough Gold Coins, you can go up 

in level. The cost to raise a level is 100 Gold Coins times the next level. You 

can only raise one level at a time. 

Example: Thickie wants to go from 2 nd Level to 3 rd Level. The cost is 100 GC 

times 3 (the next level) or 300 GC. If Thickie wanted to go from level 2 to 

level 4 it would take 700 GC (300 GC to get from 2 nd to 3 rd level and 400 GC 

to go from 3 rd to 4 th ) and two trips to town. 

Depending on what level you are advancing too, you gain a special benefit. 

The DING! GRATZ! Chart 

Level Prize 

1 Upgrade a Stat Die (up to d10) 

2 Select a Power from your Certificate 


4 Select a Power from any Certificate 


Create a New Power or Select a Power from any 

6 

Certificate 


8 Create a New Power 

Upgrade a Stat Die (up to d21*), Create a New 

9 

Power and Special 

* Minus 1. We’re still afraid of writing that down… 

Upgrade a Stat Die 

You upgrade a stat by 

incrementing the die by one size 

(i.e. d4 to d6, d6 to d8, d8 to d10, 

and d10 to d12.) 

As you “level up” you will have an 

opportunity to upgrade more of 

your stats (at Levels 3,5,7 and 9). 

At 1 st Level, you can’t upgrade a 

stat higher than d10. After 5 th 

Level you can upgrade to d12, and 

after 9 th Level you can upgrade to 

the dreaded die “we dare not 

name”. 

Select a Power from Your Certificate 

Your Adventurer has gained a new POWER. You must select a power that 

lists/allows your Certificate. 

Select a Power from ANY Certificate 

Your Adventurer has gained a new POWER. You may select any power from 

the game (even if it doesn’t make sense – hey, it’s your character.) Good 

role-playing could lead you to at least make up a story of why your Barbarian 

is casting fireballs, but it’s no skin off our backs if your necromancer can 

breakdance. 

Create a New Power 

If you have been playing your character this long, we’re sure that you have 

fifty ways of making the game cooler. You probably already had six things 

that you complained about before you were done making your first 

Adventurer. Now’s your chance. More information on creating POWERS is 

listed in the “WARHAMSTER REVOLUTION” section, page XXX. 

SPECIAL 

When you have reached the loftiest of levels, it’s time for something special. 

Right now, we’re a little pressed for time (and more than a bit lazy) so we’re 

going to skip this for now. We’ll get to it eventually.

THE THE WARHAMSTER WARHAMSTER SYSTEM 

SYSTEM 

The core roll 

Let’s get down to brass tacks* here. Most games have some variation on 

the a “core roll” – the heart of the mechanics. For a lot of old school games 

it was roll a twenty-sider and add some stuff to it (or subtract some stuff 

from it, or multiply…you get the picture). For a lot of other games, it was 

about rolling percentile dice (and rolling higher or lower than some target). 

Then things got weird: dice pools, factors, computed stats, resolution 

matrices…gahhh! 

In Warhamster, all rolls except damage/effect type rolls use the core 

Warhamster Mechanic. In brief, roll your stat, add your level, add some 

other stuff, and beat the target’s defense. Simple. 

Or, in nerd bullet point style : 

STAT DIE + 

YOUR LEVEL + 

APPLICABLE MODIFIERS 

vs. 

TARGET DEFENSE 

If you beat the Target Defense (usually Armor, Smarts, etc.) then the action 

is a success. If you roll lower, than it fails. If you match it, it’s a push (i.e. 

no positive or negative effect) – which usually means that the Defender 

breaks the tie. 

*Available for 1 GC from fine adventuring shops everywhere. 

Timing and stuff 

SNACK ORDER 

The PARTY LEADER should sit to the left of the diceMaster. The 

Adventurer with the highest EXTRANEOUS score sits to their left, and so on. 

In case of a tie, the Adventurer with the highest MIND goes first. If there is 

still a tie, use REFLEXES, then HOW ATTRACTIVE, and then, if it gets all the 

way down to it, STRENGTH. In this extremity, the dM might want to take a 

look at the dice his players are using. 

Each turn, play begins with the Adventurer to the left of the diceMaster, 

and continues clockwise. By the transitive property of snacking, thusly all 

snacks at the table should be distributed in this manner; with the 

diceMaster getting the first pick of the tortillas and beer (it’s good to be the 

dM). 

DUNGEON AND TOWN TURNS 

In most role-playing games, a full chapter can be devoted to explaining the 

subtle nuances of rounds and turns. It usually involves a lot of words to say 

that you can do whatever you want – until you might get eaten by a 

monster, and then you have to take it really slowly (especially if you are 

playing Champions …). 

When you’re in TOWN or JOURNEYING, its kinda a free for all. In the 

Dungeon (where you could easily get eaten by Hill Giant or a Giant Hill for 

that matter), you have to take turns… 

In the Dungeon, there are TURNS! (not terribly exciting, but that’ll work.) 

Turns are some unknown but tiny quantity of time, in which an Adventurer 

can attempt to perform Actions. Only the Adventurer whose turn it is can do 

anything; everyone else has to wait – until it’s their TURN! Turns pass to the 

left (clockwise), and the diceMaster always goes last.

Adventurer Actions 

During a player’s turn, their Adventurer can do any number of things. Each 

thing that a Player wants her Adventurer to do – move, attack, cast, pray, 

use a power, sleep, invoke a rule, whine about a rule, or whatever – counts 

as a single Action. 

The following are the standard Actions in a WARHAMASTER! game: 

KILL! Adventurers do this so often that it gets its own section, HOW TO 

KILL THINGS! 

DO! An Adventurer can invoke a House Rule, use an item, look around, or 

talk without causing too much damage (figuratively speaking). Doing any of 

these things counts as an Action, but usually doesn’t require rolling dice. 

MOVE! When an Adventurer wants to take a MOVE action, they roll their 

REFLEXES DIE. This is how many squares the player can move this turn. 

How big is a square you might ask – that depends on the scale of your map, 

now doesn’t it. You are playing with a map right? Right? What do you think 

this is? This is old school gaming – dude, you need a map!!! 

Unlike other Actions, the first MOVE action that you take on your turn does 

not count as an action. In other words, you can always take a “free” move 

as part of any action without having to spend a skull… 

POWER! An Adventurer can use one of her powers. To use a power, the 

player tells the diceMaster what power her Adventurer is using, and asks 

for the DEFENSE. Some powers have the DEFENSE listed in their description, 

and in other cases, it is up to the diceMaster to decide. 

AGAIN! Sometimes, you want to do more than just one thing in your 

turn. If you want to take multiple actions, you can, but to do so it requires 

that you give a SKULL to the MONSTER BOWL for each action taken after 

the first. 

ROLL! An Adventure may want to do something that they could fail at, 

and so the diceMaster will want the Adventurer to make a roll. The core 

“roll” is to beat a DEFENSE (chosen by the dM) rolling one of their STAT 

DICE and adding their Level plus any applicable gear or modifiers. 

EXAMPLE ROLL! ACTIONS 

Some Actions that characters might take don’t use powers, or directly kill 

things. (What’s the point? I hear you ask. We sympathize entirely.) In those 

cases, the dM will most likely call for a roll against the Danger Level of 

your current phase. The following is a list of sample actions, and the rules 

for dealing with these situations. 

Head Scratching! (MIND) 

If a player feels that their Adventurer would know something (that the player 

wouldn’t, like how to shoe a horse, or where the nearest Inn is) the dM 

might allow him to make a MIND roll. The dM sets the DEFENSE. 

Breaking Things! (STRENGTH) 

If your Adventurer wants to Lift (or Break) something, divide the weight (in 

pounds) of an object by 50 to find the DEFENSE. Example: Peter 

Stronginthearms is a 5 th Level Soldier with a d12 STRENGTH. He wants to 

pick up a solid gold throne that weighs 900 lbs. The DEFENSE is 18 (900 

lbs./50). Peter has to beat 18 on a roll of 1d12 (STRENGTH) +5 (LEVEL). 

Physical Exercise (STRENGTH or REFLEXES) 

General physical exercise, like how to shoe a horse, is something that 

Gamers know very little about. This can be role-played by making rolls 

against STRENGTH (for running long distances, doing chin-ups, etc.) or 

REFLEXES (for walking tightropes, jumping over pits, doing swan dives, etc.). 

DEFENSE is set by the dM, except in a competitive situation. In those, the 

DEFENSE of the action is equal to the BEEF (for STRENGTH contests) or 

ARMOR (for REFLEX contests) of the opponent. 

Looking Around! (EXTRANEOUS) 

Any character can check out a room, search for treasure or secret doors, or 

notice what is going on around him. The DEFENSE is set by the dM 

(usually equal to the Danger Level of the DUNGEON), and the Adventurer 

rolls their EXTRANEOUS die. 

Being Pretty! (HOW ATTRACTIVE) 

We have no idea when you would need this in a Dungeon Adventure Game, 

but whatever.

Bonus and penalty dice 

Some POWERS, HOUSE RULES and GEAR will give an Adventurer a BONUS 

DIE. This means that the ADVENTURER gets to roll a second die of the type 

they are rolling and keep the higher result. 

Example: Invoking “HUZZAH!” to avoid getting crushed under the screaming 

Wheels of Hot Pointy Death, Carson gets a BONUS DIE to his REFLEX roll. 

His REFLEX DIE is a d8 – so he gets to roll 2 d8s. He gets a 3 and a 7, and 

keeps the 7. 

Sometimes, Adventurers will get cursed, poisoned, or do something really 

stupid, - and the diceMaster will give them a PENALTY DIE. This means 

that the Adventurer has to roll a second die of the type they are rolling and 

keep the lower result! Bummer. 

Example: Ken’s cleric just drank a whole vat of “Guaranteed Not To Be 

Unholy Soda Water” (with a picture of a naked devil girl with crossed fingers 

on the bottle”. It seems like a good time to give him Penalty Dice for using 

holy items and powers. 

HUZZAH!! 

Whenever your Adventurer’s greed or stupidity places him in danger, the 

player should shout “HUZZAH!” right after announcing his Action. If a player 

shouts “HUZZAH!!” he gains a BONUS DIE to his roll. After shouting, the 

player must describe in detail why their plan will work (adding drama and 

role-playing to a game that has pretty much skipped all of that stuff). 

Each time a player uses “HUZZAH!!,” it must be “better” (both in the sense 

of greedier and stupider, and in the sense of shouted louder or acted sillier) 

than the last person to use “HUZZAH!!” 

EXAMPLE: Trick is surrounded by Lichamsters (evil undead rodents) and 

down to his last vial of Evian Holy Water. He knows that he has to make this 

TOHIT roll count, so he shouts HUZZAH! He then explains that he is going 

to throw the bottle up into the air, and crush it as it falls with the Mace of 

Destruction throwing droplets of divinely powered “undead beating water” all 

over the baddies. The dM thinks that’s pretty cool and gives Trick a 

BONUS DIE on this roll. 

“Aieee!” 

Sometimes, you have to hurt the ones you love for the greater good. A 

player can earn a STORY (to be used during the TOWN PHASE) by making 

things harder for their chums while in a DUNGEON. After a player has 

announced their ACTION for a turn, another Adventure can shout “AIEEE!” 

warning the party that more danger is afoot. After the shouting calms down 

– the shouter (i.e. the one that shouted) has to explain how things have 

gotten worse, and if the rest of the party agrees (usually, because it’s funny 

or cool) the player receives a PENALTY DIE to their current action. 

EXAMPLE: Fire Wizard for Hire, Sharkey McSharkerson is burning down trolls 

with his fireballs. His good buddy Scotty the Dwarfling Meat Shield feels that 

this is a little too easy- and sees a great opportunity to gain a STORY (and 

he needs to get his Armor repaired after Sharkey’s juggling match with the 

Fire Salamanders didn’t work out too well). Scotty screeches “AIEEE!” and 

says – “Just as Sharkey starts to summon up another swirling mass of hot 

death, one of the bells on his pointy wizard shoes is mistaken as a truffle by 

the Troll’s pet Sabertooth Warthog.” The dM thinks this is pretty funny, 

and has a Warthog appear and attempt to burrow into Sharkey’s footgear – 

giving Sharkey a PENALTY DIE, and gaining Scotty a STORY for the 

upcoming TOWN Phase.

How to kill things! 

Adventurers are so named because their life is filled with Adventure! (And 

Exclamation Points! And SEMI-RANDOM capitalization!) According to the 

Thunderhawk Vulgar Dictionary (the authority on the High Tongues of all 

Ham), Adventure is defined as: 

Adventure (add VENT sure): noun. 1) a quest or undertaking with a 

large amount of danger and the possibility of great reward. 2) A word 

used to justify the wholesale slaughter of subterranean sentient races; 

see also “restoring liquidity to the economy.” 3) A self-contained module 

explaining all of the hazards that a group of heroes will encounter in a 

night of gaming. 4) The fastest way to die known to Man – and an even 

faster way to die known to Ork. 

Adventurers live in a world of danger, destruction, and death. Common 

sense (not that Adventurers have any, they go down into dark holes to fight 

dragons for gods' sake) dictates that it is much better to be on the giving 

end of danger, destruction, and death – so … 

TOHIT 

In Warhamster, the roll Adventurers make when attempting to smite their 

opponents is called TOHIT. (Pronounced like the warbling call of the 

titmouse: “Too-whit.” It’s fun to make the warbling call of the titmouse. It’s 

even more fun to say “titmouse.”) The DEFENSE of a TOHIT roll equals the 

ARMOR DEFENSE of the target. When using Melee Weapons, the Adventurer 

attempts to beat the target’s ARMOR DEFENSE against their STRENGTH. 

When using a ranged weapon or Kung-Fu, the Adventurer needs to roll their 

REFLEXES. Most of the time, you will roll against ARMOUR DEFENSE, though 

a diceMaster may have you roll against AGILITY DEFENSE or something 

else if the situation deems it necessary. 

Example: Sir Tobias the Paladin wants to attack a Troll. The troll has 

ARMOUR DEFENSE of 12. Sir Tobias rolls his STRength DIE and adds his 

level, and hopes to roll higher than 12. 

WEAPON SKILLS 

Adventurers generally separate the world of weapons into three broad 

categories: Cool Weapons, Ranged Weapons, and everything else – which 

suck. “Suckey” weapons include: Daggers, Darts, Clubs, Little Swords, fists, 

claws, teeth, barstools, etc. Most weapons that do less than 1d6 damage are 

considered to suck. Using a Cool or Ranged Weapon without the appropriate 

skill adds a PENALTY DIE to the roll. 

Example: Lump, Sir Tobias’ faithful henchman, decides to shoot at a kobold 

(ARMOR DEFENSE 6) with a crossbow. Lump has REFLEXES d8, but doesn’t 

have the skill RANGED WEAPONS. Lump rolls 1d8 + his level (3) and needs 

to get higher than 6. Since he isn’t trained with Ranged Weapons, he has to 

roll a penalty d8, and keep the lower roll. 

DAMAGE 

Now that we know how TOHIT, we get to determine how much Damage 

(DAM) is done by a successful strike. When you hit something, roll the DAM 

of your Weapon and subtract that from your opponent’s HITS.

Example: Sir Tobias sticks his honking sword (DAM 1d12) in the troll, and 

rolls a 7 – dealing 7 DAM. The troll has 12 HITS left. The dM subtracts 7 

from the Troll’s HITS, leaving it with only 5 HITS. 

UNARMED COMBAT 

If an Adventurer wants to attack without a weapon, they do 1d2 DAM, but 

they are at a big disadvantage! Since the Adventurer has to get so close to 

their ENEMY, their foe gets a BONUS DIE on all TOHIT rolls against them. 

This explains why Adventurers prefer to stab Critters with long sharp and 

pointy things, and it has nothing to do with so-called “inadequacy” issues, 

Doctor. Well, unless they have a Little Sword. If the Adventurer has KUNG- 

FU they disregard this penalty, and probably feel pretty good about 

themselves in other ways. 

DYING! 

When an Adventurer or a Critter 

reaches 0 HITS they fall unconscious, 

and stay that way until healed (either 

from magic, potions, or camping). 

If an Adventurer is reduced below 0 

HITS, they need to make a 

STRENGTH roll (DIFFICULTY equal 

to the amount of DAM below 0) or 

they die! If you die, don’t worry; 

see the “Power of Plot Contrivance” 

House Rule on page XX. 

HEALING 

If an adventurer doesn’t have 

any healing potions left, they 

gain their BEEF in HITS 

whenever they CAMP or go to 

TOWN. All other Healing 

comes from TOWN Actions, 

POWERS, or VISITING A 

TEMPLE.

House rules! 

If you need us to explain to you what a house rule is, you are in way over 

your head. Let me explain – no, there’s too much. Let me sum up. Gamers 

are the kind of people that can’t leave anything well enough alone. Gamers 

feel the need to endlessly tinker with the rules to their favorite game, adding 

mind-boggling levels of complexity to even a simple beer and pretzels 

game…to make them work. And, we’re not just talking about whether or not 

you take all the money when you land on Free Parking here – we’ve seen 

Initiative rules for Sorry!; detailed, authentic WWII infantry stats for the 2 of 

Hearts in War; and once, racial stat bonuses for Alien Space Bats in a game 

of Settlers of Catan. You don’t want us to get started on RPG House 

Rules…hoo-boy! 

That said, Warhamster is such an elegantly constructed system, that we 

decided to beat you all to the punch, and build rules so that you could create 

more rules with. Ha! And by doing so, we suck you in to the game creation 

process – and negate your ability to screw up our beautiful game with your 

silly house rules!!! And we everything that you do, and will make 

millions*. 

*Of jokes. Millions of jokes. There is no way to make Millions of Dollars with 

this game. If you can make a House Rule that makes Millions of Dollars with 

this game, our lawyers will see you in court to prove that we ’d your 

thought by our cleverly designed back-door design process. If that doesn’t 

work, reading this footnote constitutes agreement to our “End User License 

Agreement” that you have just agreed to be reading it. Zing! 

Your humble authors have taken the time to compile a short list of House 

Rules to get you started. 

The HOUSE RULES Rule! 

In keeping with the spirit of mind-expanding adventures, each game of 

Warhamster should begin with the players (and not the dM) adding a 

HOUSE RULE to the game. House Rules should be kept in a special book, 

wiki, or 3-ring binder, since you will need to remember them for future play. 

These rules should be numbered, so that the group’s rules lawyer can quote 

them in times of need. Example: “Ah-hah, but we do open the door, due to 

House Rule #5.1A, which states, ‘The use of a literary figure as a battering 

ram has an 80% chance of success.’ So there.” 

The YOUR NAME IS WHAT? Rule! 

If you insist on naming your character after one from a movie, TV series, big 

fat fantasy saga, or comic book - the other characters have the right to kill 

your character. If you name your character after any Tolkien or Star Wars 

character, the players have a duty to kill you. Note, we said players there. 

The POWER OF PLOT CONTRIVANCE Rule! 

If your Adventurer dies while you are still in a Dungeon – Don’t worry! 

Thanks to the magic of the plot contrivance, you can be back in the game in 

no time. Simply generate a new Adventurer (while the other players keep 

playing), and then have the dM roll on the table below. When your new 

Adventurer makes his entrance you must stand up, loudly introduce the new 

Adventurer, and proclaim a litany of her past deeds until all the other players 

tell you to shut up. 

Random plot contrivance! 

1. Captured Prisoner – The next room the Adventurers enter 

contains a prison cell, giant bird cage, or possibly an 

Adventurer manacled to a toilet. The prisoner has a tale of 

woe … 

2. Heard You Need Help – Some king/prince/bartender 

heard about your Adventure and knew that you could only 

succeed with the help of … 

3. Avenging Sibling – A brother or sister of the Adventurer 

who just died. They spent years tracking their last living 

relative only to arrive just minutes too late. Now, vengeance 

shall belong to … 

4. Lost Adventurer – This Adventurer was wandering about 

the dungeon as well, and got lost. Thank Zorbug that he 

found you, for now he can warn you … 

5. Solo Adventurer – Straight from pages of a solo adventure 

game book. If this seems lame, turn to page 19. If you buy 

this nonsense, turn to page 37, where it is revealed that … 

6. Imposter – Actually, you are on a mission to foil the 

adventurers, sent by some powerful enemy. (We suggest 

not telling the other players you are an imposter when 

introducing yourself.) Pretend to be one of the other results 

…

tHe tHe diceMaster diceMaster’s diceMaster s Guide 

Guide 

The dicemasters Guide 

They are called by many names: Narrator, Storyteller, Referee, Mayor, Game 

Master, Big Fat Slobbering Traitor Why The Hell Did You Roll That 20. But 

mostly, the big guy running a Fantasy Role-Playing Game is called the dM 

– the diceMaster! Your mission is crucial to success of the any Dungeon 

Adventure Game. You create the Adventures (well, at least most of them – 

more on that in a bit), you tell the story, you run the Monsters, you decide 

the price of Ale, and most of all – you try and kill the Adventurers off so that 

the players will go home and let you get some sleep. 

I Am, Who dM 

Mostly, the dM is there to roll a lot of dice, and pretend that they mean 

something. Occasionally look something up in the rule book, fiddle around 

with your backpack, and ask someone if they remember what HITS DIE a 

Turbonium Dragon has – and as long as the game is fun, and you are fair, 

everyone will have a great time. 

Now, the ultimate power of the diceMaster is the ability to make people roll 

dice (mainly the little cubes, but sometimes the tiny pyramids, little 

octahedrons, tasty decahedrons, and delightful dodecahedrons). Whenever 

an Adventurer wants to do something (other than simple actions like talking 

to the bartender, or reading a book), you are going to tell that player to 

“Roll!” and tell them which STAT DIE to roll and what DEFENSE they need to 

beat. 

Whenever a player wants their Adventurer to do something, have them 

explain it to you. Then, you tell them what happens. Sometimes, when there 

is chance that what the player wants to do might fail (like hitting someone 

with a sword, disabling a trap, or trying to get a date*), have them roll one 

of their STAT DICE add their LEVEL (and any modifiers) and see if they beat 

the DEFENSE. 

* Well, there’s a chance that it might succeed – it’s all a matter of positive 

thinking really. 

Example: Carson tells Matt that his Adventurer, Vargo the Hamsterling Cage 

Fighter, wants to jump off the moving wagon and slam his Mace of Many 

Hurts into the whimpering Kobold. Matt (the dM) says, “Ok. So Vargo runs 

across the wagon, unsheathing his mighty Mace of Many Hurts, and leaps 

from the side of the wagon. Roll your REFLEX DIE and beat a DEFENSE of 10 

not to get sucked under the wagon wheels…” 

HOW 

ATTRACTIVE 

MIND 

STRENGTH 

EXTRANEOUS 

REFLEXES 

Example Actions per Stat die 

Doing your hair, picking up chicks, seducing 

Orks. 

CASTing Tricks, reading old tomes, 

remembering important clues, lying to people, 

resisting mind control, taking the SATs. 

Breaking stuff, TOHIT rolls, holding your breath, 

resisting poison, being tortured, flexing your 

muscles. 

Don’t worry, as long as there are monsters to 

kill, no one will ever need to roll under this Stat, 

except to PRAY. 

Walking a tightrope, jumping a cliff, tying a 

knot, catching arrows, not being hit by a giant 

boulder.

The Simplicity of Setting Difficulty 

The Free Mini dm SCREEN 

Relative 

DEFENSE 

Difficulty @ Low Levels @ Mid Levels @ High Levels 

(1-3) 

(4-6) 

(7-9) 

Really Easy 3 4 6 

Easy 4 6 8 

Not Hard 5 8 11 

Pretty Hard 6 10 13 

Hard 7 12 16 

Way Hard 8 14 18 

Damn! 9+ 16+ 21+ 

Setting the DIFFICULTY of an Action is an easy thing to do. When in doubt 

consult the handy Mini dM Screen provided above – yours free with this 

introductory offer! (Actual retail value of $19.95. (Actual actual retail value 

may vary.)) 

A lot of times, you can just guess – if what the Adventurer wants to do 

sounds Really Easy, then set the DEFENSE to 3; if what they want to do 

sounds really Hard, then set the DEFENSE to 12. Remember, you are the 

diceMaster and the dice are there for you to command. Remember that 

Difficulty is relative – so something that is Not Hard for an 8 th Level Turbo 

Ranger with a Magic Bow of Death Arrows, may be DAMN impossible for 

Cedric the Charlatan, 1 st Level Fire Wizard. 

Sometimes, it’s easy to set the difficulty, since the action the Adventurer 

wants to do is directly opposed by another character (or a monster). In 

those cases, you can set the difficulty to one of the DEFENSES of the target. 

If an Adventurer is trying to lie to a guard, use the guard’s SMARTS 

DEFENSE. If an Adventurer wants to run past a screeching Battle Budgie, 

use the Budgies ARMOR DICE Defense. 

Selecting a Versus Defense 

ARMOR DEFENSE: This is the most common. Use Armor Defense for 

hitting things. Armor Defense is also a good defense for avoiding moving 

things. 

BEEF DEFENSE: Use Beef to defend against poison, exhaustion, stress, 

physical blows not related to combat (like falling and stuff), etc. 

SMARTS: Use Smarts as the Defense for sneaking around, avoiding 

detection, mental attacks, some magic, charisma stuff, and the like. 

LUCK: Use Luck as the Defense against crazy attacks, for selecting who 

gets hit by falling debris and other acts of randomness. Luck is always a last 

ditch Defense – and if there is a better fit from Armor, Beef or Smarts use 

that instead. 

Bonus and Penalty Dice from the dM’s Chair 

As the diceMaster you have a lot of tools at your disposal to control how 

you’re players act. Probably the best set of tools is a mix of Bonus and 

Penalty Dice, and of course – skulls. 

When you want to reward good role-playing, thinking and descriptions – give 

a player a bonus die to their roll. So, if you’re dueling with a Musketeer and 

the player gives a great description of how they are using a candelabra to 

fence with your Nougat Golem – give them a Bonus Die. Of course, the 

inverse is true – and if your players are trying to take advantage of a 

situation (or are just making things annoying) inflict Penalty Dice on them. 

Giving more PENALTY DICE to players who complain about PENALTY DICE 

also feels right.

PHASES 

Each time you sit down to play WARHAMSTER, you’re probably goin going to 

need like 2 hours to get in a full “game”. A “game” breaks down into 4 

PHASES – The Town Phase, the GO TO THERE Phase, the DUNGEON Phase, 

and the AND BACK AGAIN Phase. During a phase, there can be any number 

of “rounds and turns”. PHASES determine the types of activity that can 

occur, and who (the players or the dM is controlling the action). 

In every game of Warhamster there must be a TOWN Phase and a 

DUNGEON Phase. In game terms, the TOWN Phase and DUNGEON Phase 

are usually called “in TOWN” or “in the DUNGEON”, and many powers will 

reference that they can only be used in those “phases”. The GO TO THERE 

and AND BACK AGAIN phases are collectively called “journeying” and are 

optional phases. 

For those of that you need charts, here you go. 

PHASE ORDER DIAGRAM 

AND BACK 

AGAIN 

Phase 

DUNGEON 

Phase 

TOWN 

Phase 

GO TO 

THERE 

Phase 

Required Phase 

Optional Phase 

GO TO THERE and AND BACK AGAIN Phases 

These phases are optional, and cover the boring parts where you leave the 

bar, and head out to your adventure – or where you stumble back to the 

Town after a snot-kicking kicking (either giving or getting getting) from the Dungeon. 

Usually, your travel time will be uneventful – but the diceMaster can use 

these phases to spring traps, random monsters, and other nasty nasties on 

your party from the Monster Bowl. 

GO TO THERE – Whenever you “start an adventure”, yyou 

play the 

GO TO THERE phase. While your trip is usually uneventful, this is a 

great time for ambushes, side treks, and the occasional Wandering 

Monster Attack. After this phase, the DUNGEON Phase Starts. 

AND BACK AGAIN – Whenever you “win a Dungeon” ( (usually by 

killing a Boss Monster) or you “run away” (usually by running away 

from a Boss Monster – sissies!), you play the AND BACK AGAIN 

Phase. While usually uneventful, this is a great time for diceMaster 

to try and kill off a wounded party, kidnap the princess, and abuse 

their position as the Enemy of the Players. After this phase, the 

TOWN Phase starts. 

THE DUNGEON PHASE 

Most of an Adventurer’s time is spend looting and pillaging Dungeons. 

According to the Thunderhawk Thunderhawk Vulgar Vulgar Dictionary, Dictionary a Dungeon is defined: 

dun-geon [duhn-juhn] - noun. 1) A subterranean maze maze-like structure 

stocked with vile monsters and heaps eaps of gold coins. 2) A place to find 

adventures. 3) A strong, dark prison or cell. 4) The keep of a castle, 

donjon. 5) A self-contained contained module explaining all of the hazards that a 

group of heroes will encounter ncounter in a night of gaming. 66) 

The fastest way 

to die known to Man 7) An even faster way to die if you are a goblin. 

To an Adventurer there are only two kinds of places – Dungeons and Towns. 

Whenever there is a chance that the Adventurers might find Adventure, they 

are in a Dungeon (whether they are in an underground ruin, a haunted 

forest, or a Pentagram K Convenience Shoppe). Dungeon Time is split into 

TURNS, where every action of an Adventurer is vital. Town Time is usually 

just an excuse for people to hatch nefarious schemes, go shopping, or take a 

potty break.

This is the tasty part of the game where your Adventurers get to use their 

POWERS, sling spells, and bash monsters. Usually, this is the longest PHASE 

of a “game” and most of the player rules are about playing in the DUNGEON 

Phase. The DUNGEON Phase generally consists of some monster fighting, 

some pivotal decision, and more monster fighting. The DUNGEON Phase 

ends when the party completes the mission, or chooses to “run away”. See 

“RUNNING AWAY” for more on putting on your frilly pink skirts in the big bad 

dungeoney-wungeony. 

A successful DUNGEON phase results in the party receiving a MCGUFFIN. 

Parties can use MCGUFFINS to resolve their ALIGNMENT. A complete 

description of MCGUFFINS and ALIGNMENTS can be found in the 

ALIGNMENT section. 

THE TOWN PHASE 

Games either start or end in the TOWN PHASE. At the start of the TOWN 

Phase, a regains all of their “charged” powers. After that, each player takes 

turns (in Snack Order), spending or acquiring “Stories”. At the beginning of 

the TOWN Phase, each player gets one “free” STORY. Players can earn 

additional “STORIES” by paying a SKULL to the MONSTER BOWL for each 

extra STORY they want. Don’t worry about Skulls and the Monster Bowl 

right now, we’ll get to them soon – just trust us that they’re as wicked cool 

as they sound. An Adventurer can spend a “story” to take an action in the 

town, some examples are below: 

GO TO THE BAR 

GO SHOPPING 

GO TO THE GUILD 

STORY actions 

An Adventurer can spend their TOWN Phase at the 

bar. They can buy beer and food, and get ready 

for the next adventure. While at the bar, the 

Adventurer regains all of their powers (i.e. any 

Charged power they used are reset) and they can 

heal 1 HIT DIE. In addition, an Adventurer can 

select any one QUEST that has been posted in the 

tavern. 

An Adventure can go and visit the shops of the 

Town they are in. This allows them to buy new 

gear and repair stuff. An Adventurer can visit any 

number of shops on one shopping trip. 

An Adventurer can go to the GUILD and “Level 

Up”. An Adventurer can only visit the GUILD once 

GO TO THE TEMPLE 

USE A “TOWN” 

POWER 

FIND A NEW 

CONTACT 

VISIT AN OLD 

CONTACT 

ACHIEVE A GOAL 

START AN 

ADVENTURE 

per TOWN PHASE. While at the GUILD, the 

Adventure can select any one QUEST that has been 

posted at the GUILD, and if they have the money 

they can “Buy a Level”. 

An Adventurer can go to the TEMPLE to get healed 

back up to full. The Temple accepts donations 

(and by donations, we mean they charge you ZZZ 

x Level in GC.) 

If an Adventurer has a TOWN based POWER (like 

MOONLIGHT, LIBRARY CARD or BLUE ANKH/BLUE 

SHIELD) they can gain its effect. 

An Adventurer can use their time in TOWN to find 

a new CONTACT. A Contact is a person that can 

give your Adventurer QUESTS (we’ll cover that in a 

later bit, but it’s important). 

Once you have a contact, you can use your time to 

visit them again to see if they have something else 

that could put coin in your purse (or McGuffins in 

your coffers). Even if your contact is in the bar, 

you have to spend a STORY to get a new quest 

from them. 

If your party has enough McGuffins, you can cash 

them in to achieve a goal. Usually, these will be 

things that you have been working towards – or 

maybe you will notice that you have a surplus of 

GLORY and feel like having the bards sing your 

praises. Any player can spend a story to ACHIEVE 

A GOAL. 

Once the party has gathered in the bar (or tavern, 

or malt-shop, or wherever it is that you gather), 

you all need to agree on (or more accurately, 

argue about and then settle for) which QUEST you 

want to tackle next from your parties available 

quests. Whoever “starts the adventure” gets to be 

the PARTY LEADER for the upcoming DUNGEON 

Phase. The DANGER LEVEL of the DUNGEON 

Phase is the PARTY LEADER’s LEVEL + the 

DANGER FACTOR (usually +0 to +3).

The monster bowl 

I know that you have been dying to ask this – “What the F^@&! is a 

MONSTER BOWL!” According to the Thunderhawk Vulgar Dictionary, a 

Monster Bowl is defined as: 

Monster Bowl (Mun Stir BOL): noun. 1) A receptacle for Skulls. 2) A 

container for holding nourishing food and water for magically summoned 

pets. 3) The biggest Professional Warhamster Gladiatorial Competition 

of the year. 

In Warhamster! The Massively Multiplayer Tabletop Dungeon Adventure 

Game, the Monster Bowl is a receptacle for SKULLS. So, in order to play 

Warhamster you need to scrounge up something to hold skulls in – usually a 

bowl, but a coffee can, hat, or anything else will do nicely. If you’re really 

into it – you should get a bowl and paint it all up like a dungeon artifact – 

not only is that really cool, it will scare the beejeezus out of your Mom when 

she comes down into the basement with a tray of lemonade for you and your 

“little friends”. 

So, what the heck is a SKULL? Right? 

A SKULL* (in Warhamster game parlance, and not the bony structure that 

holds your brains in your head) is a marker that represents something bad 

that is going to happen to the players. Whenever the Adventurers get a 

skull, drop one of the SKULL counters into the MONSTER BOWL. You’re 

going to need a whole mess of counters for Skulls. Bad stuff piles up fast 

and furious**. They could actually be skulls but that would be going a little 

far. Glass beads, paper chits, unused dice, zombie minis, whatever you can 

find. We’ll include a paper counter that you could print out in a pinch. 

For players of other 9 th Level Games (like Kobolds Ate MY Baby!, Ninja 

Burger, or Cthulhu for President!), Skulls will be familiar – they are like 

Checks on the Horrible Death Record! If you’re new to the way that we roll 

here at 9LG***, the basic idea is that when the Adventurers do something 

that should result in a penalty, they get a SKULL. Unlike other 9LG games, 

the whole PARTY is responsible for the Bowl… 

* Go. Hunt. Kill SKuls. 

** Fast. And furious – players are gonna be furious about getting skulls. 

But not 2Fast, 2Furious. That sucked. 

*** The 9 to the L to the G y’all. Kickin’ it Original Recipe Gangster style. 

Eastside!

Getting Skulls in the 

monster bowl 

The most common triggers for players to have to put skulls in the bowl are 

rolling 1s, breaking rules, taking multiple actions, using dangerous toys and 

gaining story tokens. I’m sure that enterprising diceMasters will come up 

with more ways over time, but for now, let’s focus on these. 

ROLLING SKULLS - The truly math nerd-tastic of you may have noticed 

that it should be really easy for an Adventurer with some good gear and a 

high Stat Die to accomplish most tasks. A 5 th Level Adventurer will NEVER 

fail a roll against a DEFENSE of 4…so, why should I even roll the dice? Well, 

in Warhamster you must always roll, because you may “Roll A Skull”. 

Whenever you roll a die and you roll a “1”, you don’t automatically fail (like 

in most games). Instead, you just “rolled a skull” and have to donate a 

SKULL to the MONSTER BOWL. This makes lower Stat Dice (especially 

d4s) dangerous to roll. SPECIAL NOTE: Damage rolls and movement rolls 

don’t generate Skulls… 

GAINING STORIES - When the Party is in a TOWN phase, an Adventurer 

can take a skull to gain additional STORIES to use while in Town. More 

information on that is explained in the TOWN PHASE section (xxxxx). 

TAKING ADDITIONAL ACTIONS - Adventurers can take an additional (or 

actions) on their turn, by adding a Skull to the Monster Bowl. 

diceMasters can take advantage of this as well, by removing (spending) a 

Skull from the Bowl to give an additional action to one of the monsters 

during the dM turn. 

BREAKING A TIE - Adventurers can choose to cough up a skull to the 

Monster Bowl to break a tie in their favor (watch out, the dM can “spend 

a skull to do the same). 

The DANGEROUS Edge - Some POWERS and GEAR may have the keyword 

DANGEROUS attached to them. Whenever a player uses a +DANGEROUS 

power or item, they must donate a SKULL to the bowl. 

RULE BREAKING - While it is true that we all like to play chaotic 

characters*, Gamers as a rule crave order! Rules systems are filled with (bet 

you can’t guess it…) rules! And while rules were meant to be broken, there 

should always be a penalty for doing so (otherwise you wouldn’t need rules 

and game designers like us would be forced to write pathetic Battlestar 

Galactica fanfic and blog about Star Wars themed undergarments). 

Whenever an Adventurer breaks a rule – give them a SKULL! The most 

common rules violations will be players forgetting to “role-play” their bogies, 

or failure to remember house rules.** 

*Especially high level Chaotic Neutral Assassin Barbarian Sorcerers that can 

explain away their wholesale slaughter of innocents and enemies as “I was 

just playing my alignment dude”. 

** Bar Gamers Note: For instance, a play group that really likes to imbibe 

libations and has a penchant for crafting rules systems to encourage such 

imbibation (imbibatude???) could create a HOUSE RULE that says, 

“Whenever an Adventurer takes a SKULL, they have to immediately say 

“Thank You Sir, May I have Another.” So, when they forget that, they are 

breaking a rule….

Spending skulls 

So, what’s so bad about a Bowl Full’o Skulls. Nothing – if you’re the 

diceMaster. A lot if you’re the players. The dM can “spend” SKULLS 

from the bowl to produce all kinds of effects, though generally it’s to create 

random monsters and screw the players over. You see in Warhamster, the 

dM gets POWERS just the like the players….any of these powers can be 

used during the dM turn – and the number of SKULLS “spent” is listed 

(under the phase that it can be used during). 

dM 

POWER 

I Need 

More 

Minions! 

Dungeon Journey Town 

1 skull per 

Minion 

Of course the Big Bad has more minions. Add one additional 

minion to the board for each skull spent. 

dM 

POWER 


Twisted 1 skull 

The dM can move or rotate one of the DUNGEON TILES. 

Generally, this is because of the awesome power of the Big 

Bad, or an Evil Deity with architecture issues. 1 Skull. 

dM 

POWER 

And Now 

For 

Something 

Completely 

Different 


1 Level per X 

It was going along so smoothly…and then they got 

sidetracked (which usually happens during RPGs, with side 

conversations about Star Wars and Monty Python.). A dirty 

trick for the dM to pull when a party is heading to, from, or 

preparing for a Dungeon. The QUEST that the party was 

planning on gets delayed – as the party has to go on a 

QUEST selected by the diceMaster. For each 2 skulls 

spent, the Side Quest gets 1 Danger Level. 

dM 

POWER 

Wandering 

Random 

Monster 


x x x 

Ye old stand-by. The diceMaster gets to grab a random 

monster, and throw it at the party. A dM can’t use this 

power in a Dungeon Room that already has a monster in it 

(unless the party has killed all of the monsters in it, and 

then it’s effectively an empty room, n'est-ce pas?). For each 

skull spent, you get 2 Levels of a Monster (i.e. spend 3 

skulls get a L6 Random Wandering Monster). 

dM 

POWER 


Trapped X 

By spending some skulls, the dM can turn anything into a 

trap (with stats equivalent to a minion). 

dM 


POWER 

And Again! 1 

When the Monster’s have their backs against the wall (or 

whatever counts as their back in the case of Gelatinous 

Cubes and various ooze and jelly monsters), the dM can 

spend 1 Skull to give one of their monsters an additional 

action. This is really helpful for running away, laying on the 

extra damage sauce, and for digging your way out of jams.

Mcguffins and quests 

and contacts, oh my! 

While most Adventurers like to think of themselves as “heroes”, being an 

Adventurer is lot more like business than chivalry. Adventurers are in the 

business of going on adventurers so that they can acquire heaps of gold, 

dance on the bones of trolls, and generally have some legitimate excuse for 

walking around town bristling with magic wands and singing swords. During 

a TOWN phase, the party needs to acquire QUESTS to go on (which may 

remind you of how role-playing is handled on a lot of electronic computing 

machine virtual worlds, that we will not mention). 

There are 2 primary ways of gaining QUESTS – finding a posted Quest, or 

getting a Quest from a Contact. Posted Quests are created by the dM prior 

to play and represent general work for Adventurers and their ilk. Contacts 

are player-generated quests that work just like posted quests but help the 

Party move their own personal story along. 

An Adventurer can only ever have 1 QUEST at a time. Once they pick up a 

quest (from a contact or a post) they are stuck with it, until the Party selects 

their quest for an adventure. 

Once the party has gathered in the bar (or tavern, or malt-shop, or wherever 

it is that you gather), you all need to agree on (or more accurately, argue 

about and then settle for) which QUEST you want to tackle next from your 

parties available quests. 

POSTED QUESTS 

Adventurers can find posted Quests at THE BAR, THE GUILD, and 

occasionally at a SHOP or TEMPLE. Each of these places has a Tack Board* 

where people can post QUESTS that they need to have completed. 

Adventurers can read the Title (all Adventures have Titles) and the brief 

description of the Adventure, and see what the reward for completing that 

Adventure is. 

A dM needs to have a few posted Quests ready for play when the Party 

starts – since you never know what they are going to select. 

At this point, we need to digress and rant for a paragraph or two. As lifelong 

Game Masters, if there is one truth that we have discovered is that the 

best laid adventures of mice and men are always thwarted by the desires of 

the party. Far too many Game Masters have poured their hearts and souls 

into carefully mapping, charting, and stating impressive dungeons and 

treasure rooms – only to have the party decide (usually at the last minute) 

that they “really don’t feel like tracking the Ogre King back to his Lair, why 

don’t we ride out to that cool sounding mountain range that the Game 

Master doesn’t even have drawn on his hex map…” Way too many times, 

have we seen a GM brought low by these chaotic whims and wild goose 

chases. We promise that’s never going to happen to you in Warhamster. 

*Not an ATTACK BOARD, which is a 5 th Level Cork Elemental bristling with 

multi-colored quills and powerful dry-erase spells. 

CONTACT QUESTS 

When an Adventurer is in TOWN, they can spend their STORY to “find a 

contact”. When they do this, they have to name the contact and select what 

kind of McGuffin that contact rewards. Contact’s usually have a simple and 

easy to remember name (like Barney the Bartender or Quisilnoph the 

Question Maker or Firstname The Profession*). A contact can be anyone (or 

sometime anything), and except for giving Quests will offer no other 

assistance to the character (we did call them contacts, not buddies). 

Once an Adventurer has established a Contact, they can visit that Contact 

again to get additional quests. Usually, these quests will have at least a 

semblance of continuity – though it isn’t required. 

Quests obtained from Contacts are created by the player making the contact. 

You do this, by using the Warhamster Murderous Adventure Design Library 

(usually shortened to Warhamster M.A.D.LIBrary for space reasons***). As 

a player, you get to answer a few short questions about the setting and 

purpose of the QUEST, and then the dM gets to fill it with monsters, traps, 

and you get the picture! 

* Strangely to the Milnor Gnomelings of Aurora, Firstname the Profession is 

the name of a legendary Gnomish warrior-chieftain who was the wielder of 

the mighty Goggles of Obviousness, and the legendary Hammer of Generic 

Doom**. 

** Generic was the capital city of the ancient Gnomish Milor Empire. 

*** And in no way infringing on the copyright or trademarks owned by the 

totally awesome Penguin Group.

The murderous 

adventure design library 

M.A.D.LIBrary 

1) Who is the Big Bad? 

2) Which Monster Family are we going to have to kill? 

( ‘Oids, ‘Dead, Beasties, Darklings, or Weird) 

3) What is the McGuffin? 

4) What Flavor is that McGuffin? 

(Might, Arcana, Wealth, Glory, or Rosebud!) 

5) Why is there Conflict? 

(What brings the villains and the Party into conflict 

over the McGuffin) 

6) Where’s the Opening Scene? 

7) When is the Climactic Battle? 

8) How Dangerous is this Adventure? 

Dangerous (+0), More Dangerous (+1), Really 

Dangerous (+2), Nuts! (+3) 

9) What is the Title of the Adventure Module? 

Who is the Big Bad? 

Not to steal a Whedonism…well, actually to steal a Whedonism, since this 

has become the preferred nomenclature for primary villain in a post-Buffy 

universe. Who is the Big Bad. Don’t worry about stats, just give a name a 

general description of the primary villain. It could be a poncho wearing, 

Mariachi guitar playing, mustachioed Hill Giant named Poncho Colina 

Gigante. It could be a Vampiric Ham Sandwich. It could be a Rock (though 

not Iraq – let’s not make this game political). 

Which Monster Family are we going to have to kill? 

For now* there are 5 basic Monsters Families (all part of a well-balanced 

Adventure Diet): Beasties, ‘Dead, ‘Oids, Darklings, and Weird. Again, don’t 

worry about stats right now – just pick the flavor of beasts that you want the 

players to fill full of arrows, magic missiles, swords, and kung fu beats. Full 

info on Monster stats is given in the Monster Menu section. 

Beasties covers animals, animal like monsters, dinosaurs, and mythological 

wonders. 

‘Oids is short for “goblinoids” and covers the “green-skinned” anti- 

Adventurer races like goblins, orks, trolls, bugbears, ogres, giants, et al. 

The ‘Dead covers all of the various undead – from ghosts to vampires, 

skeletons to zombies, with a side trip into classic movie monster tropes like 

Frankensteins, Lagoon Monsters, Lycanthropes, and Mummies. 

Darklings are the “mirror mirror” underground dwelling versions of your 

fantasy standbys – with Drowlings (evil Elves), Gnumenlings (evil Gnomes), 

Dwurflings (evil Dwarves), Thirdlings (evil Halflings), Fifthlings (evil 

Quarterlings), and Ratlings (evil Hamsterlings). 

The Weird family covers just about everything else, as miscellaneous is 

always the largest category. In fact, we’re pretty sure that the Weird Family 

will split faster than denominations during the Protestant Reformation. This 

is for your oozes, slimes, owlbears, teleporting tentacle puma monsters, 

flying death eyeballs, mind sucking squid people, et cetera, et cetera, ad 

infinitum. 

*Designer’s Note: We’re quite sure that we’ll have about fifty Monster Types 

a day or two after this hits gamers’ grubby little mitts. If there is one thing 

that gamers like more than broken character skills, it’s a plethora of 

monsters for bashing and smashing. 

What is the McGuffin? 

Believe it or not, this is always the hardest part. It’s usually a breeze to 

make up locations and villains – but the plot engine is always a life-sucker. 

For those unfamiliar with the techniques of Alfred Hitchcock, a McGuffin is 

a plot device that motivates the characters or advances the story, but the 

details of which are of little or no importance otherwise. (For more, see 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacGuffin). 

The McGuffin is some object (not necessarily a physical object) that the Big 

Bad and the Party are going to come into conflict over. What the 

item/object/training/quality/philosophy/thingee is really doesn’t matter – it 

has no practical use for the party in and of itself. McGuffins are the focus of

lotsa stories and movies, here’s some really famous ones for you: The One 

Ring, The Arc of the Covenant, the Holy Grail, The Five Point Palm Exploding 

Heart Technique, The Murder of Laura Palmer, The Maltese Falcon, the 

briefcase from Pulp Fiction, the world’s best Egg Salad Recipe, and of course 

– Rosebud the Sled. 

In game terms, the McGuffin is a kind of currency – for buying the things 

that Gold can’t. Don’t get it twisted, cash is king* but no amount of cash is 

going to buy you things like happiness, a town named after you, and having 

your name become part of the legends. 

* In Freedonia, Cash is literally king. Officially, it’s King Cash VIII, 428 th 

Monarch of Freedonia, wielder of the dread sword Inflation-bringer and an 

unparalleled Magic-Usurer. 

SOME EXAMPLE MCGUFFINS 

MIGHT GLORY ARCANA WEALTH ROSEBUD 

Detailed Maps 

of the Enemy 

Encampment 

A Red Door 

Key 

The 

Legendary 

Hamsterlance 

Radio Active 

Crystals, or 

Heavy Water, 

or possibly a 

Meteorite 

Found in a 

Volcano 

A T-Shirt 

emblazoned 

with “I 

Survived 

Castle 

Spank” 

The Ice 

Queen’s 

digits 

The Dread 

Sword 

Inflation- 

Bringer 

Headpiece of 

the Staff of 

Zorbug 

The 

Sorcerer’s 

Gall- 

Bladder 

Stone 

The Tome 

of Eph VII 

– the Spell 

Checker 

The Coin 

used to call 

Cthulhu 

The Power 

Nine, 

including a 

Mint Beta 

Black 

Lettuce 

A Hotel on 

Baltic 

Avenue 

A turquoise 

and 

tourmaline 

encrusted 

combination 

goldfish bowl 

and teapot 

set 

The Maltese 

Chicken 

640 Million in 

Bearer Bonds 

The Last 

Remaining 

Slice of your 

Grandmama’s 

Lemon 

Meringue Pie 

A Magical 

Dresser that 

has a secret 

portal to 

another world 

Second Place 

Ribbon and a 

set of Steak 

Knives 

A Smuggler 

that owes you 

money 

encased in a 

solid block of 

lead 

What flavor is that McGuffin? 

In Warhamster (again, for now – damn tinkering bastards!) there are 5 

Flavors of McGuffin*: Might, Arcana, Glory, Wealth, and Rosebud! Since 

what the McGuffin actually “is” is irrelevant (or it wouldn’t really be a 

McGuffin), what flavor it is becomes important (to the players at least). 

Parties can “spend” their accumulated McGuffins at the Fate Shop in town to 

purchase long term goals (that they will usually settle upon during Party 

Creation), and each goal has a cost (like 3 Glory and a Rosebud for a statue 

erected in your honor in the Town Square, etc.). 

For ease of reference, any McGuffin that could be used as a weapon, or be 

of real interest to warriors and generals would be Might flavored. Wizardly 

things, secrets, and ancient prophecies are usually Arcana flavored. Daring 

rescues of princesses in distress, feats of derring-do and other obviously 

hazardous goals are Glory flavored. Objet d’art, unfenceable loot, huge 

tracts of land, and suchlike are Wealth flavored. Rosebud flavor is for deeply 

personal things that are otherwise meaningless – they are the McGuffin 

flavored McGuffins (a rare taste treat worthy even of King Torg (ALL HAIL 

KING TORG!)**. 

*Secretly we want to eventually have 31 flavors of McGuffin. 

**9 th Level Apology: Honestly, we couldn’t not slip it in somewhere. 

Why is there a Conflict? 

We all know that this can’t end well – you’re building an adventure module 

by gods! You have a Big Bad. You have a McGuffin. What is the conflict 

that brings the Party into odds against the villain? It can be simple – like, 

the party wants it. Greed is a powerful conflict inducer. Or, you can get 

creative – and see what happens. Let’s say you chose “The King of the 

Elflingland’s Daughter” as your McGuffin. Your conflict could be rescuing her 

from the Big Bad that kidnapped her (a Hill Giant bandito), trying to stop her 

marrying the Big Bad (a potion popping Professional Warhamster Lancer), or 

keeping her from eating the Big Bad (a Vampiric Ham Sandwich). Some 

McGuffins have easy built in conflict – Secret Plots need to be foiled, Ancient 

and Powerful Relics needs to be dug up, and Dragon’s only have scales for 

forging into Dragonscale armor. 

Everybody gets the “raid the dungeon, kill the monsters, take their stuff” 

concept – so you don’t really need an original conflict concept, you players 

are ready to bash, stab, and incinerate the hordes standing between them 

and the McGuffin. We have found that coming up with an original concept 

will drive the players, and keep them interested – even if the conflict is really

idiculous. In fact, ridiculous conflict (or mundane conflict over ridiculous 

things) often leads to some really fun time around the graph paper map. 

Where is the Opening Scene? Where is the Climatic Battle? 

Regardless of what happens in between (usually rapine and murder) every 

adventure needs a starting point, and an ending point. All of the action is “a 

dungeon” whether or not you stage the action in an actual subterranean 

maze of corridors and chambers, or you place the story in a convenience 

shoppe on the edge of the Town. 

In quick terms, describe the opening scene. Include the location and any 

key environmental factors – like, it’s a ruined church covered in rotting pews, 

tumbled statues, and a giant gaping hole in the floor. Or, the party comes 

upon a torch lit all-night diner along the dusty road. Hordes of ‘oids gather 

at small tables to eat lamprey omelets and sharpen their axes. 

The Climatic Battle is the “scene” where the Party encounters the Big Bad. It 

can be a room or area, and should include some cool props for the Party and 

the Villain to interact with. A velvet lined disco-themed crypt the final resting 

place for the Staying Alive Zombie Dance Crew or an adobe hut on a bald 

hilltop surrounded by oversized Trojan Piñatas will work equally well. It 

helps if the locations you select make a semblance of sense with your chosen 

conflict and McGuffin, and Villain. Nothing will make a group of gamer lose 

interest faster than utter randomness. There is no joy in beating The 

Owlbear Overlord after fighting through a toy store and a Frankenstein 

Laboratory to secure the Deed to Baltic Avenue – but then again, we might 

be wrong about that, I might really enjoy kicking that Owlbear in his 

avian/ursine gonads to get me closer to my dreams of a Purple Monopoly. 

How “Dangerous” is this Adventure? 

Let’s face it, Adventuring is dangerous. A lot more dangerous than say, 

being an accountant (unless you work for the Infernal Revenue Service – 

that’s exciting). Warhamster has a unique scalable adventure danger level – 

meaning that any Party can attempt any adventure, at anytime. All of the 

threats in the adventure are scaled to the Party Leader’s level. So, the real 

question is not “how dangerous is this mission”, but really, “how much more 

dangerous is this mission, than you know, like the average of all of the 

dangerous missions we routinely embark on.” When you are creating a 

mission, you assign a rating of 1 to 3 as the Danger Factor – each step 

increasing the Danger Level by 1 (i.e. if the Party Leader is Level 4, and he 

accepts a quest with a Danger Factor of +2, the party is effectively going on 

a Danger Level 5 adventure, with commensurate danger and rewards.) 

When a player is creating an adventure using a “contact”, the first mission 

they accept is Danger Factor 0. Each subsequent mission they get from that 

contact increases the Danger Factor by 1. Only by using a contact can a 

Party get “Nuts!” and go for the really really badass missions – which result 

in 2 McGuffins awarded. 

Danger Factor Danger Level Reward 

Dangerous Party Leader’s Level 1 McGuffin + Level 

(PLL) 

Reward 

More Dangerous PLL + 1 1 McGuffin + Level 

Reward 

Really Dangerous PLL +2 1 McGuffin + Level 

Reward 

Nuts! PLL +3 2 McGuffins + Level 

Reward 

What is the Title of This Adventure Module? 

Now that you have the hard parts done, you need to name this “module”. 

Partly, you need a name so that you can explain it to the players. More 

importantly, all good quests have a title that you can reference later when 

quaffing mead – as in, “Remember the Quest of the Oracular Olives..that 

was good times.”

Example Adventure 

Courtesy of the Magical MAD Library! 

1) Who is the Big 

Bad? 

2) Which Monster 

Family are we 

going to have to 

kill? 

3) What is the 

McGuffin? 

4) What Flavor is 

the McGuffin? 

5) Why is there 

Conflict? 

6) Where is the 

Opening Scene? 

Cliché-tor, the Black Sorcerer of 

N’Dar. A thin, wiry man 

dressed in black robes, twirling 

his black mustache and 

required Ming the Merciless 

beard. 

As a master of clichés, Clichétor 

has to employ a collection of 

‘Oid minions. Goblins and 

trolls! 

The Tome of Unspeakable 

(Don’t Say it) Horrors. 

Arcane Power. 

The party has found out that if 

Cliché-tor gets his grubby villain 

paws on the Unspeakable 

(Don’t Say It!) Tome, he will 

use it to unleash nightmarish 

creatures on the countryside. 

The party needs to get that 

tome before Cliché-tor does. 

Our battle opens on the Library 

of Insanity, where goblin foot 

soldiers are guarding the Book 

7) When is the 

Climatic Battle? 

8) How Dangerous 

is the 

Adventure? 

9) What is the Title 

of this 

Adventure 

Module? 

Return slot. Stacks of books line 

the walls, and the goblins are 

hiding behind the wand-proof 

glass Reception Desk. The 

Party is going to have to get 

through the Turnstile of Death. 

The Party fights its way through 

the goblin hoard and 

encounters Cliché-tor in the 

“Really Restricted Section” in 

the bowels of the Library of 

Insanity. The massive black 

book is chained to a heavy iron 

desk, and the Card Catalogue 

seems to be animated by the 

dread sorcerer’s magic. 

Dangerous (+0). 

The Defeat of Cliché-tor in the 

Mad Library…

Building adventures 

Danger Level 

The DANGER LEVEL of a Dungeon is determined by 2 factors – the Party 

Leader Level and the Danger Factor. When a player uses a story in the 

Town Phase to “Start an Adventure”, they are the Party Leader for the 

upcoming DUNGEON PHASE. Their current level is the Party Leader Level. 

The Danger Factor is set by the Adventure (from +0 Dangerous, to +3 

Nuts!). Add the two together to get the DANGER LEVEL. 

The higher the DANGER LEVEL, the more likely the Adventurers are to die – 

mostly because the monsters are that much harder to kill. Of course, as the 

dM, your mission is to kill them, but you at least want it to be sporting! 

Level Reward 

Whenever a Party defeats an Adventure, they gain a reward in Gold Coins 

(plus the McGuffin). An Adventure is usually “defeated” when you beat the 

Boss Monster (the Big Bad). Defeat usually involves beating a critter to 

death, but if the party can “get around” a monster without killing them (by 

lying, stealing, cheating, or pure luck) it still counts as a defeat – as long as 

they accomplish the goals stated in the conflict. 

Example: The conflict of the Adventure is that the Furious Feline Females of 

Frigidor have filched the fish barrels for the forthcoming fish-flinging festival 

(say that three times real fast). If the party can get all the fish back – they 

have “beat” the adventure. It doesn’t matter if they get it back using 

thievery, stealth, tricks, or smushing the Furious Felines into catfood. 

Monster Union regulations require that all Monsters carry around sacks of 

Gold Coins, strings of gems, or other such cash like rewards. Monsters that 

carry around convertible tax-sheltered debenture instruments are not really 

getting into the spirit of things. 

The size of the reward is determined by the overly complicated mathematical 

formula below: 

DANGER LEVEL x 300 GC 

How the party wants to split the haul is up to them. Most parties will just 

split things down the middle, but parties may want to give out more of the 

loot to players that really kicked some bootie – or to players that need to 

make a big purchase or are close to a new level. 

BUILDING A DUNGEON WITH DANGERS! 

So, you’ve got a Module worked out from the MADLIbrary. You’ve gotten a 

Danger Level. You’ve got a McGuffin, and you got the reward. When do I 

get to ram monsters up my player’s faces? Well, now actually. Here is 

where you get to fill the dungeon up with Dangers… 

A Danger is an element that makes up a Dungeon – like a room, a trap, the 

minions, and of course, the Big Bad. As the dM you get a number of 

DANGERS equal to the complicated formula below: 

½ of the Number of Players (rounded up) + the Danger 

Level 

…or if you speak Excel(lent) High Nerdish: 

#Danger=roundup(#players*.5)+DangerLevel

Each Dungeon should start with at least 2 DANGERS – the villain, and the 

location. For larger groups (5 or more, you start with 3 or more). Then, for 

each Danger Level, you can add 1 additional Danger. 

Example: You have a group of 5 players, so you will start with 3 Dangers 

(5/2 rounded up is 3). They have decided to go on a Really Dangerous 

Quest (Danger Level +1) and the Party Leader is Level 4 – so the DL is 5. 

Your dungeon will have 8 Dangers (maybe a villain, three locations, 2 groups 

of minions, a miniboss and a Monstrous Edge.) 

Below is list of Dangers that you can add. 

dangeRs! 

DANGER THE BIG BAD 

Every Adventure has to have a big bad. A big bad is made just like any 

Warhamster Character (meaning that it has a job, stat dice, and levels). It’s 

level is equal to the Danger Level of the Dungeon. Grab a BIG BAD Sheet 

and fill in the particulars. The Big Bad usually is in the last room of the 

dungeon. 

DANGER Dungeon Room (Location) 

For each Danger spent, you can add another “room” to the Dungeon. All 

dungeons start with at least 1 room. A selection of starter rooms are 

included with this game. Each room is made up of a 6x6 graph map – with 

at least 1 “Exit” from the room. 

DANGER Bigger, Badder, Better! 

You can increase the level of the Big Bad by one, at the cost of one Danger. 

DANGER MINIONS! 

Minions come in groups of 4 (i.e. you get 4 minions for each Danger spent in 

building the Dungeon). To create a minion, you just grab the “Minion Card” 

for the MONSTER FAMILY type selected. Minions are like any character, but 

they only have 1 HIT (meaning that if you hit them once, they die). 

DANGER Boss Monster 

Boss Monsters are harder than minions, but not the big bad. You can buy 1 

Boss Monster for each Danger spent. To create a Boss Monster, grab the 

appropriate MONSTER FAMILY card, and use the BOSS stats (including the 

Hits Die). Boss Monsters can appear in any room. 

DANGER Monstrous Edge 

For 1 Danger, you can add an edge to all of your minions and bosses. 

+Tough: All of your monsters get +1 Armor Defense. 

+Fast: All of your monsters add +1 squares to Move Actions. 

+Fire/Frost/Adjective Denoting Hazard: All of your Monsters gain the power 

+Immunity (to something). So, you could have Frost Goblins (that are 

immune to cold), Fire Goblins (immune to Fire), or Crotch Goblins (immune 

to dirty kicks in the pants). 

+Flaming: All of your monsters are covered in flames doing +1d4 DAM on a 

hit. 

+Strong: All of your monsters do +2 DAM. 

+Sniper: All of your monsters have the RANGED WEAPONS power. 

DANGER Environmental Hazard 

For each Danger spent, the dM can add an environmental hazard to the 

Dungeon (this hazard affects all rooms in the dungeon). Some sample 

hazards are listed below, feel free to add more. 

Wild – The dungeon is considered to be wilderness, and all of the surfaces 

are rocky and hard to cross. Reduce all Movement by 1 square. Beasties 

and ‘Oids can move without penalty. 

Ice – The dungeon is slippery and cold. Any failed REFLEX check results in 

the player falling on their tuckus, and having to spend an action to stand 

back up. Character wearing bikinis take a penalty dice on all actions – since 

it’s nipply. 

Mold – The Dungeon is covered in poisonous mushrooms, pollen, and 

dripping stalactites. The Party suffers a penalty dice to all STRENGTH rolls, 

and is at -2 BEEF DEFENSE for the adventure. 

Hostile Workplace – This dungeon is really out to kill you. All Minions are +1 

Level. 

Dark – The entire dungeon is dark. Unless someone has some light, the 

Adventurer’s take a penalty dice to all actions. 

Lava – Areas of water and such like are actual boiling hot magma. Any 

critter or player that enters it takes 1d8 damage per turn.

The Monster Menu 

To create a BIG BAD, use the same rules for creating an ADVENTURER. You 

may decide to give it any “race” (from Vampire to Were-avocado), but use 

the rules for stats and powers like any player character. 

To determine the stats for Boss Monsters and Minions, you can use the 

handy reference charts included here (or use the MONSTER SHAKER – still in 

development, but soon to our website). 

1) Select a Monster Family 

2) Determine the Danger Level (usually the DL of the Dungeon, 

unless the dM has spent skulls or dangers to make them 

tougher). 

3) Write down the STAT DICE for the Monster Type 

4) Roll the HIT DIE once for each Danger Level (for Bosses only) 

5) Determine powers, damage, and defenses – by referencing 

the Danger Level on the Charts below 

6) For each DL, your minions and boss monsters have every 

power listed up to and including that level 

7) Name (and describe) your new found monster. 

Example: You look at your MADLIBrary and find that you get ‘OID minions 

and a Big Bad named Vorthos the Flavorful (a wizard oppressed with 

chocolate). It’s Danger Level 5, and you spend one danger to purchase a 

Boss Monster (a Weird Chocolate Pudding). For the ‘OID minions, you 

reference on the chart and get: SLAM and COOL WEAPONS powers, d8 

damage, defenses of Armor 8 Beef 9 Smarts 7 Luck 7. You decide that they 

are “Special Dark Goblins”. For the Level 5 Weird Boss, you get Claw, Hide 

&Sneak, and Coward as powers, roll a d4 5 times for HITS, and have 

defenses of Armor 9 Beef 8 Smarts 7 and Luck 7. You call him Chuckie, the 

Chocolate Pudding. 

Monster Families 

There are 5 basic Monster Families (all part of a well-balanced diet of 

Adventure): Beasties, Undead, ‘Oids, Darklings, and Weird. Each Family 

determines what type of dice to roll for each STAT, and has a special 

Edge/Bogie. 

Beasties: Beasties are animals, mythological creatures, dragons, and 

assorted possible wild game. Beasties are generally not happy to see an 

Adventurer, but won’t attack unless provoked (or really hungry). All Beasties 

do their BEEF in damage (due to sharp claws and pointy teeth). 

Undead: The Undead are the hideous animated remains of the once living. 

Ghosts, vampires, and zombies are all branches of the Undead Family Tree. 

The ‘Dead hate the living, and will always attack them in search of blood, 

brains, or sheer malicious fun. The Undead have +Immunity (Sharp Objects, 

Poison, and Disease). Unfortunately, they can’t go out in the sunlight, or 

they take 1 DAM per Turn. 

‘Oid: A catchall term for all of the semi-intelligent subterranean greenskinned 

races: Orks, Goblins, Trolls, Ogres, etc. ‘Oids generally like to eat 

Adventurers and steal their stuff, since ‘Oids don’t usually have access to the 

shopping centers of the Manlands. Even puny ’Oids are crafty fighters and 

deal +1 DAM on TOHIT rolls. Due to really thick skin, every ‘Oid starts with 4 

Armor Hits. 

Darkling: Every race (except for humans) has an evil subterranean 

counterpart that hates their Above World cousins with such intensity that 

their little faces are sometimes just a mass of hate wrinkles. Usually this is 

the result of an ancient blood feud or Thanksgiving argument that caused 

them to move underground and plot the demise of the sun-filled world. 

(We’ve all had Thanksgivings like that.) Most Darklings look just like their 

cousins, except their skin is coal black, they have white hair, and they hate 

everything their cousins love. Drowlings hate forests and hugs. Dwurflings 

hate mead and storytelling. Gnumenlings hate knick-knacks and love paddy 

whacks. Thirdlings hate farming and smoking. Eighthlings hate everything 

(and are bigger cheaters and liars than Quarterlings and half as tall). 

Ratlings much prefer sewers to cedar chips. Darklings use the same Stat 

Dice as their Above World brethren. 

Weird: This is the scientific category for everything else, the weird stuff – 

like Gelatinous Cubes, Eater Rooms, Walking Statues, and High School 

Science Teachers. Weird creatures have an advantage since they don’t have 

to make any sense – Giant Fuzzy Death Chickens, anyone? 

*Shameless Plug: While many people think Kobolds are ‘Oids (or worse yet, 

little scaly dragon people) – they are not green skinned at all but usually 

have fuzzy orange fur, sharp claws, and pointy teeth. They like to eat babies, 

hate chickens, and are definitely Beasties!

Stat Die 

HA M ST E R 

Boss Hit Die 

6 4 6 6 10 4 

Beastie 

Defenses 

Danger Level POWER Type Damage 

Armor Beef Smarts Luck Example Minion 

1 CLAW Once a Turn d4 6 4 3 4 Kobold 

2 ATHLETE All The Time d6 7 5 4 5 Dire Badger 

3 d8 8 6 5 6 Giant Spider 

4 BITE Once a Turn 2d4 9 7 6 7 Lion 

5 d10 10 8 7 8 Owlbear 

6 STEROIDS All The Time d12 11 9 8 9 Giant Dire Kobold 

7 2d6 12 10 9 10 Dire Owlbear 

8 CLEAVE Charged 3d4 13 11 10 11 Mastodon 

9 

BREATH 

2d8 14 12 11 12 Big Ass Dinosaur 

10 WEAPON Charged 4d4 15 13 12 13 Cave Dragon 

11 1d20 16 14 13 14 Gor, the Rabbit of Death 

12 FLY All The Time 2d10 17 15 14 15 Gigantic Walrus Monster 

13 3d10 18 16 15 16 Plutonium Dragon

Stat Die 

HA M ST E R 

Boss Hit Die 

2 4 8 4 4 10 

‘dead 

Defenses 



1 CLAW Once a Turn d4 3 5 3 2 Broken Skeleton 

2 SLAM Once a Turn d4 4 6 4 3 Zombie Shopkeeper 

3 

IMMUNE TO SHARP 

STUFF All the Time d6 5 7 5 4 Skeletal Hairdresser 

4 BITE Once a Turn d6 6 8 6 5 Frankenstein 

5 d8 7 9 7 6 Wight 

6 CLEAVE Charged d8 8 10 8 7 Zombie Owlbear 

7 

POLYMORPH 

d10 9 11 9 8 Mummy 

8 

SELF Charged d10 10 12 10 9 Werewolf 

9 d12 11 13 11 10 Wereowlbear 

10 CHARM IT Charged d12 12 14 12 11 Ghost 

11 

HATED ENEMY 

d20 13 15 13 12 Zombie Tyrannosaurs 

12 (ADVENTURERS) All The Time d20 14 16 14 13 Ham Sandwich (Vampiric) 

13 2d20 15 17 15 14 Poultrygeist

Stat Die 

HA M ST E R 

Boss Hit Die 

4 4 8 6 6 8 

oids 

Defenses 



1 SLAM Once a Turn d6 4 5 3 3 Half-Goblin 

2 d6 5 6 4 4 Goblin 

3 COOL WEAPONS All the Time d6 6 7 5 5 HobGoblin 

4 d8 7 8 6 6 Ork 

5 

RANGED 

d8 8 9 7 7 Gnoll 

6 

WEAPONS All the Time d10 9 10 8 8 Ogre 

7 d10 10 11 9 9 HobOgre 

8 d12 11 12 10 10 Hill Giant 

9 CLEAVE Once a Turn d12 12 13 11 11 Ogre Magi 

10 2d10 13 14 12 12 Fire Giant 

11 ANY POWER * 2d10 14 15 13 13 Storm Giant 

12 2d12 15 16 14 14 Giant Giant 

13 3d12 16 17 15 15 Dire Giant Giant

Stat Die 

HA M ST E R 

Boss Hit Die 

4 4 6 10 8 6 

‘weiRd 

Defenses 



1 Coward Once Per Turn d2 5 4 3 3 Grey Ooze 

2 d4 6 5 4 4 Pocketbook Mimic 

3 Hide & Sneak Once Per Turn d6 7 6 5 5 Animated Clockstand 

4 d8 8 7 6 6 Gelatinous Cube 

5 Claw Once Per Turn d10 9 8 7 7 Gelatinous Octahedron 

6 d12 10 9 8 8 Weretable 

7 Zot! Once Per Turn d10+d4 11 10 9 9 Angry Flying Eyeball Monster 

8 2d8 12 11 10 10 Sentient Lettuce Pod Monster 

9 d10+d8 13 12 11 11 Flaming Doom Stalactite 

Teleporting Octopus Puma 

10 Any Power * 2d10 14 13 12 12 

Beast 

11 d10+d12 15 14 13 13 Giant Flesh eating Protozoa 

12 Any Other Power * 3d8 16 15 14 14 Mutated Circus Tent 

13 d4+d6+d8+d10 17 16 15 15 Colossus of Sardines

dM Quick Reference Danger Chart 

Danger Level = Players/2 (round up) + Highest Level Player + Optional Dungeon Difficulty 

Dangers Dungeon 

Level 

Additional 

Rooms 

Groups 

of 

Minions 

Mini 

Bosses 

Environmental 

Hazards 

Monstrous 

Edges 

Additional 

Boss Levels 

2 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 

3 1-2 0 1 0 0 0 0 

4 1-3 0 0 1 1 0 0 

4 1-3 1 1 0 0 0 0 

5 2-4 1 1 1 0 0 0 

5 2-4 1 0 1 0 0 1 

6 3-5 1 1 0 1 1 0 

6 3-5 2 1 0 1 0 0 

7 4-6 1 2 1 0 1 0 

7 4-6 2 0 1 1 0 1 

8 5-7 1 2 1 0 1 1 

8 5-7 1 1 1 1 1 1 

9 6-8 1 2 2 0 1 1 

9 6-8 2 1 1 2 0 1 

10 7-9 2 2 2 0 2 0 

10 7-9 2 3 2 0 1 0 

11 8-9 2 3 2 1 1 0 

12 9 2 2 3 2 0 1 

13 9 2 3 2 0 2 2 

14 9 3 3 2 1 1 2 

15 9 2 4 4 1 2 0

ORIGINS ORIGINS 2009 

2009 

Weapon Weapon and and Item Item Enchantments Enchantments (EDGES) (EDGES) for for Higher Higher Level Level Play 

Play 

Weapons 

Weapons 

EDGE GC Effect 

+DAM 400 This weapon deals 1 extra point of DAM on all of its attacks 

+BetterDAM 500 This weapon provides a BONUS die on its DAM rolls 

+BurstDam 700 This weapon deals 1 extra DAM on all of its attacks and as a CHARGED power can deal an extra d6 DAM to one of its attacks 

+Lucky 200 When attacking with this weapon, treat all TOHIT rolls that equal the targets armor as successful 

+Talkative 200 This weapon knows the Ancient or Uncouth Tongues skill and can speak in common 

+KnowItAll 300 This weapon gains the KNOW ? Skill and can learn +Talkative for 100 GC 

+(Adjective)(Weapon) of 300 This weapon is surrounded in a form of energy (selected when bought) all attacks are considered that DAM and as a 

(Energy type) 

CHARGED power this weapon can deal an extra d6 DAM to one attack made with this weapon 

300 Did you ever wonder why paladins were wild about these things? They're shiny that's why. They are so shiny and pretty 

+3 Holy Avenger 

that whoever is holding them gains +3 to their HA stat and the effects of the TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL skill, and they can 

sense evil in a 30 degree forward facing arc as an at will power 

+Hunter 

350 This weapon has an unnatural hatred towards (select critter type when bought) all attacks it deal against this critter gain +1 

DAM and are considered +Lucky 

+Life Stealing 

600 Some very serious black magic went into the creation of this weapon, before rolling for DAM the weapon bearer can 

sacrifice 2 Health and gain an extra d6 DAM to one attack made with this weapon 

+Soul Devouring 

800 After dealing the killing blow to a critter this weapon becomes Charged, this charge can be expended in a necromatic 

explosion of fury causing an extra d8 DAM to one attack made with this weapon 

+Uber 950 Increase the damage die of any one simple weapon by one size 

Vorpal 

1000 On an attack roll of a natural 20 this weapon beheads the target, if the target doesn't have a head, it cuts something else, 

equally as important, off. If it doesn't have anything important to cut off, (I'm looking at you gelatinous cube) then you lose 


+Gang Tags 

+Turtle 

+Of the Archmage 

+Karmelion 

Armor 

Armor 

250 This armor has been decorated with random and offenve gang tags, this gives the wearer a BONUS die to their MEAT 

SHIELD skill rolls 

300 This armor has been enchanted to help you hunker down and stay out of harms way, its power is charged, when expended 

the wearer gains +1 DEF till the end of their next turn 

400 This armor is used to the wear and tear of a the wizarding life and has learned a thing or two about surviving a fireball. As a 

Charged power you can force any opponent to get a PENALTY die to any spell roll that effects you. 

450 While wearing this armor you gain the HID & SNEAK skill, if you happen to be singing Karma Chamelion while making a HID 

& SNEAK skill roll, gain a BONUS die.

+of Displacement 

+Poorly Tailored 

+Protection from (Energy) 

+Exotic Dwarven BS 

+Ninjahide 

+Tanking 

500 The ultimate in now you see me, now you don't, this armor can turn the most sure of hits into a disappointing wiff. As a 

charged power you can force any opponent to re-roll an attack roll that included you, so long as you annonce it before they 

roll the DAM. 

550 This armor is a bit to large for you, forunately there is a lot of extra material for your opponents to thwack at. Gain d6 HITS 

when you put this armor on, you lose them when you remove it 

600 This armor has been runed or insulated to protect its wearer from a particular element, all DAM dealt by that element is 

reduced to 1. 


700 Maybe it's the metal, maybe it's the craftsmanship, maybe it's the fact that they grind up 3 faries in each suit of armor, we 

don't know and honestly don't ask too many questions. While wareing this armor, gain the Know Sloping Passages skill, 

+Protection from BEER, and +Turtle 

850 Made from the most deadly of all deadly game, the Ninja. This armor is black as night and super bad ass. While wearing 

this armor you are empowered by the souls of those whose hides went into its creation and you gain a BONUS die to 

anything that a Ninja could do. 

1000 The gods of MTs everywhere have gathered to bestow their finest blessings upon you. Reduce your ARMOR defense by X 

to gain Xd10 HITS till the end of the Adventure phase 

Shield 

Shield 

+Turtle 

300 This armor has been enchanted to help you hunker down and stay out of harms way, its power is charged, when expended 

the wearer gains +1 DEF till the end of their next turn 

+Spiked 400 When you are attacked and it misses flip a coin, if it comes up heads, the attacker takes 1 DAM from your shield 

+Buckler 

500 Mostly being made from aluminum foil and popsicle sticks, you didn't expect this to last long. You can sacrifice this shield 

to cause one melee attach that hit you to instead miss. This must be done before DAM is rolled. 

+Reflection 

650 Pollished to a high sheen this item can be used for shaving, long distance signaling, and reflecting spells away from you. As 

a Charged power you can elect to reflect a spell that is targetting you to another randomly determined target. 

+Targ-et 

700 Some brilliant bastard dree some red and white concentric circles on this bad boy… you woldn't believe how good it is ad 

drawing the attacks. 

+Wall 

850 This isn't a shield so much as a large section of a castle wall that you strapped to your fore arm. Reduce your REFLEXES by 1 

Heater 


Staff of Tim 

Staff of Compulsion 

die size but gain d(whatver die you just lost) HITS untill you take off the shield, then you lose them 

1000 This shield is always warm and tosty, alowing it's bearer to ignore the exposure effects of Tundra travel and granting them 

a Charged power that causes the shield to explode inflames causing d6 + LEVEL DAM to anyone adjacent to the bearer 

Wands, Wands, Rod, Rod, Rod, & & Staves 

Staves 

350 The great and powerful sorcerer's first wand… he wasn't into subtle, he was more BURN BABY BURN. This wand has a once 

per turn power that can be used to do 1 DAM to any target you can see 

500 Some folks think it's your winning smile but we know know your secret, it's the staff your packing. Gain a BONUS die to any 

SLEEP and CHARM rolls while using this wand

Rod of Righteous 

Indignation 

550 Gain a BONUS to do all EXORCISM, INQUISITION, and TURN DEAD rolls while wielding this rod 

Wand of (ELEMENTAL 

ADJECTIVE) Death 

500 For the power gamer in you… Your spells of the specified element do 1 extra point of DAM. 

Rod of Hanging 

600 You always keeps soda and chips around so people love to crash at your place, when rolling for durations on summon 

spells, use the next larger die 

Staff of Some Damn Elven 700 Some fancy druid planted this thing like 9 zillion years ago and youhappen to come across one of it's branches lying on the 

tree 

ground (after you broke it off the tree). Gain a Bonus Die to any POLYMORPH rolls 

900 This stick is great for giving folks a taste of their own medicine. This item becomes charged when you are the target of a 

Rod of Spell Storing 

spell. It stores a copy of the spell in the Rod and you can use the spell as a charged action. Only one spell can be stored per 

adventure and if not used it fades away when you head back to town. 

Rod of Ruin 1000 Causes milk to spoil and plants to wither and has a Charged power that allows you to get a BONUS die to DAM rolls 

Staff of STOP IT NOW 400 Charged chan be used to protect yourself from the effect of an AIIIIIIIE 


Rings 

Rings 

Ring of the Cock 

200 This unusual item is a favorite of the rough and ready outdoorsman, it heightens ones sense of... awareness* and grants 

them a BONUS die to all CAMP rolls 

300 You pick any WH spell in secret and write it on a slip of paper, the dM picks a target in secret and writes it on a slip of paper 

Ring of 3 Wishes 

after they're revealed and the spell is activated the person to your left makes any necesssary rolls or decisions i.e. what did 

you polymorph the fire mage into? 

Ring of Animal Friendship 350 Furry critters really like you, a lot, you gain a BONUS die on all rolls involving animals and the Animal Tongues skill 

Ring of Projection 

400 This ring actually allows it's wearer to literally project their feelings of self-doubt, fear, and inadequacy onto another. This 

Charged power forces the target to receive a PENALTY die to all rolls on their next turn 

Ring of Health and 

Happiness 

450 Charged - Target gain 1d4 HITS and a sunny disposition 

Ring of Fire 

550 Charged - When activated this ring causes the area immediately around any critter you can see to errupt into flame. The 

flame lasts for 3 turns if they attempt to move through it they take d6 DAM and it burns burns burns. 

Ring of Book Cooking 650 While worn increase all Gold that you earn by 10% 

Hamster Bone Ring 

700 Enfused with the fury of the ancient Hamster ancestors this ring can infuse it's wearer (by use of a charged power) with 

great Streangth for a short time. Increase your STd by one size and gain +DAM for the next 2 TURNS 

Ring of the Host with the 

Most 

800 Increase the die rolled for SPIRITUAL HAMMA and HEAL effects by 1 size 

Ring of the Goat 900 Through the application of subtle pressures you are able to bend the will of even the most stubborn opponents. 

The Won Ring 1000 Once per turn - gain +1 to all rolls until your next turn +DANGER

BONUS ONUS ONUS MATERIALS 

MATERIALS

MAP MAP 1 

BASIC BASIC 

BASIC

MAP MAP 2 

hall 

hall

MAP MAP 3 

GUTSY 

GUTSY

MAP MAP 4 

VAULT 

VAULT

MAP MAP 5 

LOCK 

LOCK

MAP MAP 6 

CHOOSE 

CHOOSE 

YOUR 

YOUR 

OWN 

OWN 

ADVENTURE 

ADVENTURE 

ADVENTURE

MAP MAP 7 

ARCHER ARCHERY 

ARCHER

MAP MAP 8 

GRASS 

GRASS 

AND 

AND 

WALLS 

WALLS

MAP MAP 9 

RIVER 

RIVER 

GRASS 

GRASS 

And nd 

ROCKS ROCKS 

ROCKS

MAP MAP 10 

10 

DO DO IT 

IT 

YOURSELF 

YOURSELF

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