Big Sister 2011 Annual Report - Big Sister Association of Greater ...

The first thing you notice when you meet Little Sister Zaire is her self-confidence.
She is a smart and bold fifth grader at the Josiah Quincy Elementary School. She
knows what she likes and doesn’t like and isn’t afraid to tell you. This quality
often so rare in girls her age who are struggling with self-esteem and who are starting to
exchange “I want” with “whatever you want”, often gets her into hot water. In her own
words, it has also gotten her mistakenly labeled as a “trouble kid”.
In describing why she wanted a Big Sister, Zaire
wrote that she wanted to be able to share life stories
with her, to be able to socialize, to practice her
multiplication tables and to be able to tell her the
important things that were going on in her life. The
subtext is also that she wanted someone who would
understand her and who could see through her
impatience and occasional brashness to the real her.
She wanted “her Big Sister to know that she’s a good
kid, [and that she’s] really fun and a jokester.”
Twenty-four year old Big Sister Katie Abarr has
been matched with Zaire in our School-Based
Mentoring program for a little over a year now. She
wanted to be a Big Sister because she remembered
the women in her life who had made an effort to
spend time with her as a child and how much it had
meant to her.
“I will always remember the people who went out
of their way to take care of me or mentor me or just
make me laugh,” says Katie. “That made a big impact
on me and I’d like to do that for someone else.”
According to their match support social worker Sara
Pizzute, Katie turned out to be the perfect mentor
for friendly and thoughtful Zaire. A coordinator at
the Westin Boston Waterfront, Katie remembers
being equally opinionated at Zaire’s age. She would
also get reprimanded for testing and trying to bend
rules that didn’t make sense to her, such as not
chewing gum or the requirement to keep her
uniform shirt tucked in at all times. As a mentor,
she is very understanding of Zaire’s temperament,
but sets firm limits and helps her become more
patient and positive in her overall attitude towards
Big Sister Association of Greater Boston
Little Sister Zaire
Big Sister Katie
teachers and her fellow students. Zaire is grateful
to know that she isn’t alone. She is also happy to
have guidance on how to constructively deal with
her feelings of frustration and to have a cool adult
she can laugh with and be goofy.
Zaire recalls that the pair got along immediately
when they first met with “no awkward moments”.
They had a lot in common. They liked yoga, were
self-proclaimed girly-girls, and both had a good
sense of humor. Zaire also approved of Katie’s
fashion sense. “She knows how to dress. Like me.”
On Friday afternoons when they are together, they
often do homework and talk about their New Year’s
Resolutions -- Zaire’s are to get good grades, have
a more positive attitude and stop biting her nails.
Katie’s resolution is to talk to her mother more
often. Sometimes though, they don’t need to say
a word and can just sit in comfortable silence and
color. They understand each other.
And then there are those multiplications tables.
According to Zaire, Katie “really likes math”. Big
Sister Katie has increased Zaire’s appreciation of
math and has helped her recognize her skills in the
subject. “She’s actually really good at math. She just
thinks that she isn’t. … She’s really smart.”
When asked about her experience as a Big
Sister, Katie answers that it has taught her
to stop and make time for the things that
are more important in life, the things
that are more heartfelt, “which is
how I feel about hanging out
with Zaire.”