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And sift thee with the words of Aeschylus,<br />
Whence art thou, what thy country, what thy garb?<br />
Why all this wondrous medley? Lyre and silks,<br />
A minstrel's lute, a maiden's netted hair,<br />
Girdle and wrestler's oil! a strange conjunction.<br />
How comes a sword beside a looking-glass?<br />
What art thou, man or woman? If a man,<br />
Where are his clothes? his red Laconian shoes?<br />
If woman, 'tis not like a woman's shape.<br />
What art thou, speak; or if thou tell me not,<br />
Myself must guess thy gender from thy song.<br />
Ag. Old man, old man, my ears receive the words<br />
Of your tongue's utterance, yet I heed them not.<br />
I choose my dress to suit my poesy.<br />
A poet, sir, must needs adapt his ways<br />
To the high thoughts which animate his soul.<br />
And when he sings of women, he assumes<br />
A woman's garb, and dons a woman's habits.<br />
Mn. (aside to EURIPIDES) When you wrote<br />
Phaedra, did you take her habits?<br />
Ag. But when he sings of men, his whole appearance<br />
Conforms to man. What nature gives us not,<br />
The human soul aspires to imitate.<br />
Mn. (as before) Zounds, ifI'd seen you when you<br />
wrote the Satyrs I<br />
Ag. Besides, a poet never should be rough,<br />
Or harsh, or rugged. Witness to my words<br />
Anacreon, Alcaeus, Ibycus,<br />
Who when they filtered and diluted song,<br />
Wore soft Ionian manners and attire.<br />
And Phrynichus, perhaps you have seen him, sir,<br />
How fair he was, and beautifully dressed;<br />
Therefore his plays were beautifully fair.<br />
For as the Worker, so the Work will be.<br />
Mn. Then that is why harsh Philocles writes<br />
harshly,<br />
And that is why vile Xenocles writes vilely,<br />
And cold Theognis writes such frigid plays.<br />
Ag. Yes, that is why. And I perceiving this<br />
Made myself womanlike.<br />
Mn. My goodness, how?<br />
Eu. 0, stop that yapping: in my youthful days<br />
I too was such another one as he.<br />
Mn. qood gracious I I don't envy you your schoolmg.<br />
Eu. (sharply) Pray, let us come to business, sir.<br />
Mn. Say on.<br />
Eu. A wise man, Agathon, compacts his words,<br />
And many thoughts compresses into few.<br />
So, I in my extremity am come<br />
To ask a favour of you.<br />
Ag. Tell me what.<br />
Eu. The womankind at their Home-feast to-day<br />
Are going to pay me out for my lampoons.<br />
Ag. That's bad indeed, but how can I assist you?<br />
Eu. Why, every way. If you'll disguise yourself,<br />
And sit among them like a woman born,<br />
And plead my cause, you'll surely get me off.<br />
There's none but you to whom I dare entrust it.<br />
Ag. Why don't you go yourself, and plead your<br />
cause?<br />
ARISTOPHANES<br />
Eu. I'll tell you why. They know me well by<br />
sight;<br />
And I am grey, you see, and bearded too,<br />
But you've a baby face, a treble voice,<br />
A fair complexion, pretty, smooth, and soft.<br />
Ag. Euripides I<br />
Eu. Yes.<br />
Ag. Wasn't it you who wrote<br />
"You value life; do you think your father<br />
doesn't ?"<br />
Eu. It was: what then?<br />
Ag. Expect not me to bear<br />
Your burdens; that were foolishness indeed.<br />
Each man must bear his sorrows for himself.<br />
And troubles, when they come, must needs be met<br />
By manful acts, and not by shifty tricks.<br />
Mn. Aye, true for you, your wicked ways are<br />
shown<br />
By sinful acts, and not by words alone.<br />
Eu. But tell me really why you fear to go.<br />
Ag. They'd serve me worse than you.<br />
Eu. How so?<br />
Ag. How so?<br />
I'm too much like a woman, and they'd think<br />
That I was come to poach on their preserves.<br />
Mn. Well, I must say that's not a bad excuse.<br />
Eu. Then won't you really help?<br />
Ag. I really won't.<br />
Eu. Thrice luckless II Euripides is done for!<br />
Mn. 0 friend! 0 cousin I don't lose heart like this.<br />
Eu. Whatever can I do?<br />
Mn. Bid him go hangl<br />
See here am I; deal with me as you please.<br />
Eu. (strikjng while the iron is hot)<br />
Well, if you'll really give yourself to me,<br />
First throw aside this overcloak.<br />
Mn. 'Tis done.<br />
But how are you going to treat me?<br />
Eu. Shave you here,<br />
And singe you down below.<br />
Mn. (magnanimously) Well, do your worst;<br />
I've said you may, and I'll go through with it.<br />
Eu. You've always, Agathon, got a razor handy;<br />
Lend us one, will you?<br />
Ag. Take one for yourself<br />
Out of the razor-case.<br />
Eu. Obliging youth!<br />
(To MNESILOCHUS) Now sit you down (MNESILO<br />
CHUS seats himselfin a chair), and puff your<br />
right cheek out.<br />
Mn.Ohl<br />
Eu. What's the matter? Shut your mouth, or else<br />
I'll clap a gag in.<br />
Mn. Lackalackaday!<br />
He jumps up, and runs away.<br />
Eu. Where are you fleeing?<br />
Mn. To sanctuary 1.<br />
Shall I sit quiet to be hacked like that?<br />
Demeter, no!<br />
Eu. Think how absurd you'll look,<br />
With one cheek shaven, and the other not.<br />
Mn. (doggedly) Well, I don't care.
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