John E. Jones

satisfactorily worked out. The middle of each scale, then, would be seen as the desirable
condition.
There are predictable behaviors that are engaged in by people who are conflicted or
unconflicted on each of these two dimensions. The person who has not made a
satisfactory resolution of authority relations is likely to engage in the following
dependent behavior. He or she actively seeks structure, “leadership” from others, rules,
agenda, parameters, instruction, etc. This person may also engage in a number of
resistive behaviors toward those people who are presumably in control. That is, he or
she may seek to be dependent on other people and at the same time experience
resentment in the situation. Counterdependent behaviors include engaging in a
leadership conflict with the establishment, blocking decision making, attacking the
leader, ventilating negative feelings about the situation, etc. The person who is
unconflicted with regard to dependency is a person who is equally comfortable in a
highly structured situation or in an ambiguous situation in which control, authority, rules
and agenda, etc., are not clear. This person can either lead or be led. He or she can help
to mediate between the so-called leader and the people who are having problems with
authority. In a group situation, the people unconflicted with regard to dependency are
likely not to be perceived as very viable in the beginning of the group’s development,
but their efforts at supporting members in getting through the stage of structuring their
interaction can be helpful.
The person who has an internal conflict with regard to intimacy can be expected to
engage in a number of behaviors. He or she may play “keep-away,” by not permitting
people to get him or her involved in closeness. This person may not express very many
feelings verbally. He or she may resist engaging in activities that involve touching or
involve sharing of private information. At the same time, this person may engage in
behaviors that offer promise of getting people to like him or her. He or she may get
chairs or ash trays for people or smile a great deal at people. However, this person will
continue to keep his or her distance. The person who is unconflicted in regard to
intimacy can, by definition, be close or distant from others. He or she is not compulsive
in the need to be close to everyone, but does not keep people arbitrarily at a distance to
meet his or her needs for self-protection. This person emerges in group situations as one
who can bridge the gap between those people who are unsettled about knowing
themselves and being known by others and those people who want to explore
themselves and each other in profound ways.
It is important to consider that being independent and being personal are not
necessarily the best conditions for ensuring effectiveness in human relations. One has to
have the capability of being independent and of being close and personal; but one needs
to go beyond that, to transcend that to a higher goal of developing the capability of being
interdependent and interpersonal. Interdependency is based on the observations that no
one person can be self-subsistent, that we all need other people, and that the basic social
need that exists in our society is that of finding ways of developing interpersonal
relationships in which we meet each other’s needs without being exploitative. A popular
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The Pfeiffer Library Volume 3, 2nd Edition. Copyright ©1998 Jossey-Bass/Pfeiffer